Jenelle Kim: Beauty truly starts from the inside, so diet and lifestyle habits are just as…

Jenelle Kim: Beauty truly starts from the inside, so diet and lifestyle habits are just as important as what formulas we use topically

Beauty truly starts from the inside. So, diet and lifestyle habits are just as important as what formulas we use topically. They go hand in hand. This is a fundamental concept that I have been on a mission to spread for almost 20 years. This is very much based on the understanding of the body being holistic (with emphasis on the understanding of the body based on Traditional Oriental Medicine). Ultimately, true beauty must start from the inside out — your health directly affects your appearance and aging); as well as taking into consideration the significance of what you are applying topically and how it can affect your overall condition (another reason why clean and natural products are so important to incorporate into your daily regimen…after all, your skin is your largest organ).

As a part of our series about how technology will be changing the beauty industry over the next five years I had the pleasure of interviewing Jenelle Kim.

For nearly a decade, Jenelle Kim has shared with those she treats how to incorporate the power of Eastern philosophy into Western lifestyles, enabling her clients to live more balanced, purposeful, and harmonious lives. Jenelle passionately believes that by creating an awareness of the connectedness between the mind, body, spirit, and greater universe, then will you truly understand yourself, and therefore, will you understand your place in the universe, and what you are called to do in your life — your destiny.

Jenelle is devoted to integrating the philosophy, medical wisdom and expertise of East Asia with the advancements of modern life and medicine of the West in order to touch and positively affect the lives of others. Jenelle holds a Master of Science Degree in Traditional Oriental Medicine (MSTOM) and is Nationally Board Certified in Herbology, Oriental Medicine, and Acupuncture. She furthered her studies abroad, training with some of the most respected doctors and herbologists of East Asia.

Through the companies she co-founded — Orience ,Tao of Man, and JBK Wellness Labs — Jenelle is able to share the healing power of Traditional Oriental Medicine with a greater audience around the world. Now, Jenelle wishes to share the 8 Keys, a blueprint for life that will always lead one to find their correct path — the path of purpose, focus, fulfillment and the most optimal relationships with those around us.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit more about you. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

I was born to do what I do. I come from a long lineage of Traditional Oriental Medical doctors and herbologists, who have dedicated their lives to understanding medicine and the human mind and body in order to help us achieve our healthiest condition possible.

For my entire life it has been my wish to make a difference in the world. As an American born daughter of a Korean father and American mother, I learned from an early age the power behind centuries-old medicine and principles passed down from my mentors — the same principles that push me to continuously live a life of meaning, purpose, gratitude and giving.

As my mentor taught me, it takes one match to light a thousand — one person truly can make a difference in this world. I am fortunate in this lifetime to have the opportunity to share formulas the world that have the power to truly improve one’s mental and physical condition, and what is more important than our health. These secret formulas have been handed to through my lineage from generation to generation for centuries and were once only reserved for the royal families of East Asia.

This was not any easy endeavor especially considering that I was frequently told that no one would be interested in all-natural herbal formulations, no one would understand the beauty secrets of the East interesting seeing that Korean Beauty is now the most renowned in the world. I have had to break through many barriers and I have had to earn the responsibility of being the first women to ever have the honor of guarding my lineage’s secret formulas, which had never before been shared on such a large scale.

Since I was 4 I learned the understanding of the human mind and body from my mentor. I simply started with secret formulas in my head and a huge wish to take these formulas into the world so that they I could help as many people as possible with them. I went to the Bishop’s School in San Diego (so I am a native !), studied at Pitzer College (of the Claremont Colleges), and received my doctorate’s degree in Traditional Oriental Medicine after 6 years of studying (and that was on the fast track!). I went on to study and practice both here in the US and abroad in East Asia. While going to school I began developing high-end, all-natural products for the high-end spa industry. It was at the age of 20 when I started building the first company that brought these secret herbal formulas to the world. I would wake up at 6am to formulate and develop innovating products and creating the brand that would bridge ancient wisdom of the east with the technologies and developments of the west in formulation, I would then go to school to study my medicine, treat patients in clinic and return around 9pm to continue working into the wee hours of the night.

What started as a small two-person team in a laboratory in San Diego, has now grown into a team of 20+ employees, and the company is ranked in the top 1000 growth companies in the manufacturing sector based on Inc 5000’s 2018 rankings. Growth has been organic and steady and JBK has grown in concert with its client base. Its 50+ customers are carried on the shelves of Neiman Marcus, Whole Foods Market, Urban Outfitters, CVS, Kroger, Ritz-Carlton Hotels, Four Seasons Hotels, multinational direct-selling companies, and other locations. The business model is unique in that the products produced by JBK’s contain natural proprietary herbal formulas, which have been handed down from generation-to-generation and are only available from JBK. Therefore, there is a built-in mechanism whereby JBK’s clients are able to have truly special products from everyone else on the market, and the products cannot be duplicated by other manufacturers.

Together with my husband — Craig Nandoo, we built a strong all-natural herbal manufacturing lab. After many years of hard work and breaking common molds that spanned all beauty/wellness industries, I now travel the world educating on herbal medicine, and I overlook our labs as we continue to create powerful products that include: skincare, body care, topicals, dietary supplements and pet products.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

One of the most interesting things I have noticed since I began leading my company is how quickly everything can change. It is vital to constantly “go with the flow” or as I say, “move with the Tao.” I have watched the direction of our company change so many times, because in order to be successful I believe that you have to constantly move with the twists and turns of opportunity. My mentor always taught me, there are only so many times in life when the door of opportunity shows up — sometimes its 3 times in life, and sometimes it is only once. So, when you know it is there it is so important to seize the opportunity, to be open-minded, to think at least 5 steps ahead. By continuing to follow these principles I have experienced time and time again that in one year everything can change.

One particular moment in time when I definitely saw that expanding our minds and ideas to embrace something totally different than what was planned was in 2012, when my lab entered the CBD industry. I initially turned down the offer to develop formulas for what are now the pioneers of the industry, but when I saw that they had clear intentions of helping others with this powerful herbal ingredient, which has been known in Traditional Oriental Medicine for over 4000 years, I committed to doing my part in helping the world understand CBD correctly.

Are you able to identify a “tipping point” in your career when you started to see success? Did you start doing anything different? Are there takeaways or lessons that others can learn from that?

When I first began developing and formulating herbal products I was in charge of formulating and developing the products, as well as marketing and promoting. I remember our office (of 5 people) receiving an order of 6 products and frantically running back and forth from the lab to the sales office, manufacturing and bottling one more bottle of cleanser only to run back to the sales office (about 45 feet) to send out the order. I had no idea what I was doing, but I did know that I had incredible formulas that I had to get out to the world and nothing would stop me in doing so. So, we figured it out. Fast forward almost 20 years and it is not uncommon for us to manufacture and ship orders greater than 100,000 units at a time.

I learned the obvious since the beginning — perfecting and scaling up the formulas for large clients around the world. However, the most important thing that this memory constantly graces me with, is the grounding action of perspective. I am always grateful for any opportunity that arises, because I never forget how everything began, and when things become overwhelming or we have to troubleshoot I take a moment to remember moments such as the one above.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person to whom you are grateful who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

My father and my greatest mentor. He was my everything. He was a man of deep compassion, wisdom and perspective. Above anything he taught me that the most important thing in life is to be a good person and then everything will unfold as it should.

He was certainly strict, I was raised with much tradition, duty, and respect for my elders and for my lineage. However, he always allowed me to find my own path. Just before I decided to study Eastern Medicine and share our lineages’ formulas with the world he asked me one simple question, “do you want to be special and achieve something in this life? To make this world better?” I of course answered, “yes.” To which he responded, “then never be afraid to be different and when everyone else is sleeping you keep moving.” I have never stopped.

I lost my father at 33. He has never stopped teaching me though. The lessons he taught me while he was physically here have actually reached me even deeper than they ever did while he was on this earth. I now have to stand solely on my own two feet, moving through experiences and obstacles and having to be very in tune and connected to myself and to the universe. By being this way, I am able to hear his voice in my mind’s eye guide me along my path.

The beauty industry today has access to technology that was inconceivable only a short time ago. Can you tell us about the “cutting edge” (pardon the pun) technologies that you are working with or introducing? How do you think that will help people?

Our version of “cutting edge” entails combining the ancient wisdom of herbal/botanical medicine with the finest all-natural anti-aging ingredients to create clean and truly functional skincare that makes the best “food for the skin.” I am a strong proponent of incorporating the benefits of technology into our skin and beauty regimen, such as LED lights, silicone facial cleansing and anti-aging devices, and microcurrent machines; however, true and lasting health and beauty starts with proper formulas. Using properly balanced, clean and functional formulas help to create a strong foundation of longevity that is enhanced with technology.

Keeping “Black Mirror” and the “Law of Unintended Consequences” in mind, can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?

In terms of smart skincare apps, this can result with some concerns for various reasons. All technology is amazing, but sometimes skin conditions and skin care routines aren’t as simple as taking a photo and receiving technology driven recommendations. Diet, underlying health, and activity levels all have to be considered when looking for the right products for your skin.

Can you share 3 things that most excite you about the “beauty-tech” industry?

  1. Jade Rolling & Gua Sha — Our lab introduced these techniques to the western world back in 2006. We combined these powerful ancient techniques with formulas infused with the jade stones, which provided infrared and detoxifying properties to rebalance and purify the skin. These ancient techniques Jade rolling effectively works to improve lymphatic drainage and gua sha powerfully improves circulation, and helps to break up fascia, the connective tissue around muscles.
  2. LED Masks — This form of light therapy technology helps to effectively promote glowing skin and address problems with pigmentation and inflammation. When used in combination with clean formulas the results are manifold.
  3. Virtual “try on” apps — This is a great way for people to hopefully see that they are beautiful just the way they are, or if anything, not go as extreme in whatever it is that they are looking to change about themselves.

Can you share 3 things that most concern you about the industry? If you had the ability to implement 3 ways to reform or improve the industry, what would you suggest?

  1. Some things are meant to be performed by a professional. For example microneedling can be a very effective procedure that helps to build collagen and smooth complexion; however, the use of an at home microneedling/dermarolling device can damage skin and can lead to serious risks such as infection.
  2. The consumer should be pragmatic regarding whether or not a tool/technology is actually effective and can deliver its promise.
  3. We are human, we are not robots. So, it is always important to note that while technology is an incredible adjunct to our beauty regimen, our condition is changing all of the time so it is important to understand the condition as a whole and choose regimens accordingly.

You are an expert about beauty. Can you share 5 ideas that anyone can use “to feel beautiful”? (Please share a story or example for each.)

  1. Beauty truly starts from the inside. So, diet and lifestyle habits are just as important as what formulas we use topically. They go hand in hand. This is a fundamental concept that I have been on a mission to spread for almost 20 years. This is very much based on the understanding of the body being holistic (with emphasis on the understanding of the body based on Traditional Oriental Medicine). Ultimately, true beauty must start from the inside out — your health directly affects your appearance and aging); as well as taking into consideration the significance of what you are applying topically and how it can affect your overall condition (another reason why clean and natural products are so important to incorporate into your daily regimen…after all, your skin is your largest organ).
  2. Consistency is key. Our skin is our largest organ — it is alive, vulnerable, and its main role is to act as a barrier, which protects us from micro-organisms, pollution, radiation, mechanical impacts, pressure, and chemicals. Knowing its vital and active role, it can then be understood why it is so important to stay consistent with a daily skincare regimen that serves to purify and revitalize skin cells.
  3. Clean is best. If you continue to use chemical-filled products that are ultimately harmful to the skin, you may initially see positive results, but over time in the long term, the positive effects can become outweighed by the fact that you are forcing your skin to work harder than it needs to. For example, synthetic ingredients may make your skin feel silky and smooth in the short term, but may also be causing underlying issues that can cause dryness, a dull skin tone, or a host of other issues in the long term. You can visualize your skin hard at work fighting free radicals, pollution, bacteria and radiation, and every morning and evening you place a fine layer of product that contains harsh and sometimes toxic ingredients on to your face that rob your skin of nutrients and, furthermore, make your skin cells have to work even harder than they need to.
  4. We must read between the lines. The skincare industry is not regulated. Almost any ingredient can be incorporated into a formula. Even products that claim to be natural incorporate ingredients that may be harmful to your health. So, educate yourself and find experts and companies that you know you can trust.
  5. Mindfulness. Thinking and being positive directly affect how beautiful you feel.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

“It only takes one match to light a thousand.” One person can truly make a difference in this world. Every moment I have the utmost gratitude for the fact that in this lifetime I have the opportunity to share formulas with the world, which have been handed down through my lineage, that have the power to truly improve health from the inside out. Because of this opportunity I never stop working to make sure that I do everything in my power to share these formulas. So many of us have so much positivity to share; so, never give up on doing so, because if we all put our energy into spreading what we have to give to this world, we will light up the universe.

Can you please give us your favorite” Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Work tirelessly but be productive and have faith in the universe (regardless of what religion or belief system you follow). There is only so much in our control.

I truly believe that that if you put your heart and mind into what you wish to achieve, always be a good person and stay on a path of goodness you can accomplish anything. Always be compassionate to others. Regardless of our differences we are all human; so instead of focusing on the differences, focus on the similarities — on what bring us all together as one humankind. There is nothing more powerful than connectedness from a place of good.

How can our readers follow you online?

Facebook DrJenelleKim

LinkedIn — DrJenelleKim

Instagram — drjenellemkim

Jenellekim.com

Jbkwellnesslabs.com

Jenelle Kim: Beauty truly starts from the inside, so diet and lifestyle habits are just as… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Dr. Christie Prendergast: “Why you should start with being beautiful on the inside”

Start with being beautiful on the inside. I think a person’s internal beauty and energy is equally as powerful as external beauty. Some of the most beautiful people in the world don’t feel that way about themselves and its always a shame to see. When you have more than just your external beauty you have something to fall back on when you are not always feeling your best. One of the things lacking in our world today is an understanding of beauty. It is much more than external. There is power, sexuality, humor, intelligence, and attitude that all contribute to someone’s beauty.

As a part of our series about how technology will be changing the beauty industry over the next five years I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Christie Prendergast.

Dr. Christie is a double-board certified female plastic surgeon with a non-traditional path to medicine. She grew up in Europe & Asia with a large family and as a first-generation physician, never dreamed of becoming a doctor. At age 17, with $100 to her name, she moved to Los Angeles and through hard work and mentorship, found her way into medicine. Her osteopathic medical degree laid down the foundation of a holistic approach to plastic surgery — treating inside-out. Her passion for helping others, cancer research, and surgical artistry lead her to pursue a career in general surgery as well as plastic surgery.

Dr. Christie’s vision is to collectively use 16 years of education to change the beauty world! She wants to start by make beauty procedures less overwhelming for consumers through education and curating beauty treatments. The Beauty MatrixTM is a treatment strategy developed by Dr. Christie to help patients desiring rejuvenation navigate through cosmetic treatments. She believes correctly addressing all the components of aging with a long-term strategy yields the best natural results.

Dr. Christie is recognized by colleagues and industry professionals as rising star within the field of plastic surgery. She shares a passion for innovation, collaboration, entrepreneurship, & technology but isn’t afraid to call out the hype. She collaborates with the top cosmetic companies in R&D, education, and is a brand ambassador for many aesthetic technologies. Despite her many accomplishments, those who know Dr. Christie can speak of her kindness, excellent bedside manner, and dedication to her patients. To learn more about Dr. Christie, visit www.drchristiela.com

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit more about you. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

I had a very unconventional path to medicine that started with realizing at a young age that the key to overcoming my socioeconomic disadvantaged background was education. When I was 17 I was living in LA supporting myself with no formal education and working odd jobs to make a living. I quickly realized that I needed to change my world because I wanted to give myself and my family a better life. I wasn’t sure where to start, but I knew that if I started with school, I would eventually figure it out. I started off by enrolling in junior college while working a full-time job supporting myself and my siblings.

At the time, my only influence was traveling all over the world and so I thought I wanted to be a journalist. Because of my lack of formal education as a child, I had really never had any exposure to math or science at this point in my life. As soon as I was exposed to science I was immediately fascinated. I never really considered being a doctor as I just didn’t think this was in the realm of possibility and did not have exposure to doctors as a child so it wasn’t even on my radar.

It was through mentorship at the university while teaching organic chemistry that one of my professors asked me if I had ever considered becoming a doctor that first made me consider pursuing medicine as a career. And this is what I love about mentorship, sometimes it can be as simple as taking an extra interest in someone’s future. After some research into medicine, I decided this was definitely the career path for me and I worked very hard to be given equal opportunity for acceptance. This was difficult as I had limited financial resources to apply to medical school and also had no connections for internships, research, or interviews. Through a lot of hard work, I was accepted in to medical school and found my way in to plastic surgery and have never looked back!

When I was young I never dreamed of becoming anything because my life was consumed with surviving. In a world where it is is harder and harder for kids that come from disadvantaged backgrounds to see equality in opportunity, I want to be an example of what you can achieve with hard work and mentorship.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

Ha! I could literally write a book on interesting stories as a surgeon! Every day there are interesting stories. It’s hard to just pick one! I am a tiny person and am always mistaken for every other title except surgeon but, in my trauma surgery training my tiny size made me ideal for certain foreign body retrievals. As you can imagine, this comes with a number of interesting stories. As a plastic surgeon in the meca of los Angeles, I have met some interesting characters and had to accommodate a variety of requests and this is why there are shows like “Botched.”

But in all seriousness, there have been moments throughout my career that have been very impactful. I think every physician can say that COVID has been a recent interesting time for all of us. For me it was a forced pause in my clinical practice since starting this crazy whirlwind of a journey 18 years ago. It was also a time of transition and uncertainty that forced me to re-evaluate my career as a whole and once again, set an intention for how I would like to see my future. As a surgeon you never get the luxury of time so I took this opportunity to reset and focus on building my entrepreneurial goals.

Are you able to identify a “tipping point” in your career when you started to see success? Did you start doing anything different? Are there takeaways or lessons that others can learn from that?

Success is an accomplishment of a goal and I would say throughout my life, I have had many little successes. My first and most memorable success was graduating from college. This was a huge personal accomplishment for me as it was my most challenging obstacle. I know I have only been able to achieve each goal by taking them one at a time, understanding the long term plan, and expecting challenges along the way. I have also worked my way from a childhood where we had nothing to becoming a plastic surgeon. I am so grateful that I have had this unique journey to medicine as I feel that growing up with responsibility and struggling to survive has given me a unique set of skills that I can apply to other aspects of my business. I also think innovation requires going outside your comfort zone and my childhood was all about being put outside comfort zones. What I like to tell those who I mentor is that your past sets the path for your future so remember that in the present!

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person to whom you are grateful who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

I completely agree and I am no exception to this. I have had a number of people who have had key influences throughout my life that guided me to where I am at today. First, my grandfather was a math professor and seeing how he was able to provide for his family through education is what gave me my starting point.

One of the things that I love about medicine is the built-in mentorship. From college to completion of my training I have had key people who have influenced me through each step. I initially started college planning on doing optometry. I eventually transferred from junior college to college and while teaching organic chemistry to make extra money, my professor asked me if I ever thought of going to medical school. I ultimately ended up applying to medical school because of his encouragement.

In medical school, I was influenced by my City of Hope Cancer Center rotation and chose to go in to general surgery. I was fascinated by cancer biology and the complexity of cancer surgeries and was going to become a surgical oncologist. I ultimately chose plastic surgery when I saw what plastic surgeons can do as both artist and surgeon. I was hooked!

I love to mentor and believe it is such an important part of medicine and that collaboration not competition should always be part of our profession. I have integrated it into my company by helping junior surgeons coming out of training. This is a time in a young surgeons life where a lot of the built-in mentorship from training is suddenly over. Traditionally, we have also been part of a profession that can be very competitive and predatory at times. It is challenging for a young but very qualified surgeon to start trying to make a living, have confidence as a surgeon, obtain board certification, and run a full business for the first time in your life trust me, I know!. My goal is to help make this transition a little easier for them.

Ok super. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. The beauty industry today has access to technology that was inconceivable only a short time ago. Can you tell us about the “cutting edge” pardon the pun technologies that you are working with or introducing? How do you think that will help people?

We are in a cutting edge time in the beauty industry as the consumer demand for less invasive procedures has driven companies to new constantly invent new technologies. Technology really refers to all the energy devices that we utilize like lasers, ultrasound, radio frequency, etc. While a lot of the energy types are not new, the delivery of the energy is what has been refined over time. These refinements are built around giving patients more predictable results and improving patient safety.

I see a big future in the aesthetic technology as we are living in a world that is very conscious of beauty & wellness and there is a demand for less invasive treatments. Patients are interested in treatments that help them feel and look their best at every age without the need for surgery. I think a lot of these treatments go hand-in-hand with wellness. Investing in your skin and preventative measures are always going to pay forward when it comes to aging. At the same time, we are also in a rapidly growing cosmetic world where there is equally as much hype and scam artists trying to capitalize. My goal is to help shape the aesthetic world by making sure patients are educated about treatments so that they get a good return on their investment, and more importantly, don’t get “botched.”

My company is called Curated Beauty Rx because we really curate all of our products, technology, and services that we offer to patients. There is a lot of work into researching technology and understanding each device, indications, and appropriate patient selection as well as technologies that will be a good return on investment for both the practice and patient. So, when I chose a technology or device to carry and offer my patients it is after a lot of research into the technology and company. What I am looking for in both the technology and company is strong science and R&D with predictable results, robust safety profiles, low recurring costs, and something that can be used on all skin types. I am particularly excited about devices that offer options for all skin types especially ethnic skin (from a selfish perspective), but also because there are not a lot of great options for darker skin types. From the manufacturer of the technology, I want to see support of physicians/practices that carry their technology by offering ongoing training, networking, and marketing support.

I am really, really excited about a new technology that has not even hit the market! Alma laser has released Opus which is a plasma resurfacing and tightening technology & I have partnered with them as a brand ambassador. What is so exciting about this technology is that unlike other traditional forms of energy, plasma energy has really not been utilized in the aesthetics industry so it is a whole new approach to resurfacing and tightening. And, because this technology does not produce any heat, it can be safely used for all skin types. Ethnic skin does not typically do well with technology because heat-based treatments can stimulate pigment and is one of the things we struggle with. But on the flip side, we typically have thicker skin that responses very well to the skin tightening and remodeling effects of technology. It is really exciting to be able to have options for resurfacing that can be safely used on every skin type.

Another technology that I am really loving right now for my skincare services is the Salt Facial. They have a very unique facial machine that does not use suction for exfoliation but rather natural salt crystals that can be gentle or cranked up to act like an ablative laser. Once again, this is an excellent machine for patients who have sensitive skin like rosacea or are doing skincare in combination with other anti-aging technologies. This machine is also great for all skin types and conditions and combined with ultrasound and LED therapy this is a great return on investment for a practice.

Keeping “Black Mirror” and the “Law of Unintended Consequences” in mind, can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?

There can always be unintentional side effects to technology and this can be prevented by educating patients on which treatments are appropriate for them and improving the expertise of providers performing these treatments. All of the unintended side effects I have seen are due to either poor patient selection for the technology or lack of understanding of the technology by the technician. As we have more untrained providers entering the cosmetic world, we are going to be seeing more unintended results.

For example, I recently saw an Asian patient who had an energy-based treatment for skin tightening that caused the desired tightening however resulted in a line of pigmentation straight across her face. In this case, it doesn’t matter how much tightening you have achieved you have lost the battle because this patient has a permanent dark spot across her face that will be a challenge to reverse.

Another example, is a technology that is for skin tightening but also can result in volume loss. Volume loss is another component of aging so if you lose volume you are not going to appreciate the effects of the tightening. This would be an example of choosing the inappropriate candidate for the technology. So a technology is only as good as its technician!

I also recently saw a patient who was 25 years old and had 9 syringes of filler in her face! At this age, we are really not experiencing volume loss from aging. This poor patient wasn’t sure what was wrong with her but after analyzing her earlier pictures we realized she had lost a lot of her identity as she looked like a completely different ethnicity with that much volume in her face! After dissolving her whole face she looked normal again and we could start over with a strategy that started with addressing her acne skin (much higher yield for her). This is the kind of misguided beauty that wastes young girls money and causes unnecessary distress by not doing what is best for the patient or having a comprehensive approach.

These are the kinds of things that should be kept in mind when navigating through medical spa treatments. Technology is a double-edged sword and many of these technologies are backed by a lot of marketing without a lot of substance or safety directions and can have many unintended consequences. This is one of the reasons I developed the Beauty MatrixTM.

Can you share three things that most excite you about the “beauty-tech” industry? Can you share a few things that concern you? How can we address these concerns?

1) I get most excited about skin tightening technologies. I think this area of technology is still in its infancy and the demand is going to drive new combinations for better results.

2) Using technology to create individualized patient experiences.

3) Technology shaping the way that patients approach beauty treatments

1. I am concerned about the amount of providers entering into the industry without the necessary aesthetic background to actually give good long-term advice. The core specialists that have extensive training in aesthetics are first plastic surgeons, facial plastic surgeons, oculoplastic surgeons, & dermatologist. There is a reason why some of us go through years of extra training to ensure that we have the foundations for sound decisions and patient safety in place. Some of the unnatural beauty trends we are seeing is due to the loss of balance of all the components of aging and no long-term treatment plan. If you go to a medical spa that just does injections, guess what you are going to get? An injection! This is fine for a few times but over a period of a year or two you need to address other areas of aging and not just utilize injectables.

2. The other thing that concerns me is that many technology companies are first, directly marketing to consumers and then, present themselves to physician practices with technologies that are meant just to generate revenue. These can be expensive machines that deliver subpar results and do not offer a good return on investment for either the physician or patient. We need to do a better job as physicians to verify the technologies we invest in and take the opportunity to learn them in depth so we can get the best value for our practice and patients.

3. Lastly, I also think that there is way too much competition within the industry when there should be more collaboration. With collaboration and mentorship we can give our patients better results and guide patients to those best suited to treat them.

I am working on making strides to reform these parts of our industry by partnering with companies as a brand ambassador, key opinion leader, or consultant to be able to influence practitioners using these technologies to not only be educated about the technology but also understand where that treatment fits within the larger spectrum of a patients aging journey.

I have also developed a treatment guide called The Beauty MatrixTM to help educate patients and industry providers on putting all these treatments together from skin care to plastic surgery! Say a patient wants to rejuvenate their face but doesn’t know where to start? This guide helps patients navigate through the medical spa world. This helps patients create their own tailored beauty journey and gain the knowledge on each treatment so that they can get a good return on their investments. The primary goal of this concept is empowerment through education.

I am also working on creating a CBRx referral network where like-minded colleagues can work together to collaborate. This is also for ancillary services like eyelash artists, hair stylists, brow and tattoo artists, etc. and we are actively accepting applications for the network! Appropriate qualifications is the minimum requirement but we are also looking for other things like bedside manner, beauty philosophy, professionalism, office standards, experience, and artistry. I have met so many talented, passionate people in the beauty industry and I want to bring all this talent together for the good of our patients.

You are an expert about beauty. Can you share 5 ideas that anyone can use “to feel beautiful”? (Please share a story or example for each.)

1. Start with being beautiful on the inside. I think a person’s internal beauty and energy is equally as powerful as external beauty. Some of the most beautiful people in the world don’t feel that way about themselves and its always a shame to see. When you have more than just your external beauty you have something to fall back on when you are not always feeling your best. One of the things lacking in our world today is an understanding of beauty. It is much more than external. There is power, sexuality, humor, intelligence, and attitude that all contribute to someone’s beauty.

2. Skincare. Good skin always helps you feel beautiful. This can be very achievable with a strategy and understanding of the products even if you are not blessed with genetically perfect skin. But, this is not something that happens overnight. Making this a priority in your beauty routine is important and worth the long-term investment.

3. Staying true to your natural self. I think the trend of fake beauty leads to a lot of long-term dissatisfaction because its almost like you are playing a character that isn’t really you and there is sometimes no end to the maintenance involved in this look. If you try to look your best in your natural state you will age more gracefully and it will feel more authentic. I don’t care how great you look on IG with a filter or photoshop, at the end of the day, we have to take our makeup and filters off and be more than just pretty.

4. Keeping up with other beauty services. I always think that a nice set of eyelashes, getting your nails done, or shaping your brows can really frame your features and help you feel beautiful.

5. Taking time for wellness. We never feel beautiful when we have been running around like a crazy person without time for ourselves. I know I feel the best when I am well-rested, exercised, and internally optimized. One of the areas that I think complements external beauty treatments is addressing your internal biochemical state and overall mental wellness. Whatever routine you may have that makes you feel rejuvenated is so important to maintain. I also think that these days, we are just not getting what we need from a nutrition standpoint in our food, and supplementation with the right products is really important to supporting all the external beauty treatments that we are doing.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I am passionate about bringing equal opportunity and equality in healthcare and specifically in the beauty industry. I would like to inspire a movement of equal opportunity for other kids like me who need mentorship to guide them to careers they may not even consider. I would also like to inspire equality in the beauty industry by helping to bring to market technologies and products that address all ethnicities and offer solutions for all different skin types.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Yes, I love the quote: “Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” I am at a point in my life where I can reflect on all the hardships of where I came from and where I am at and see the lessons along the way. I often thought of this quote during the difficult times. It helped me not give up on always striving to achieve my maximum potential. I have learned that every challenge in life prepares you for your future and you really have to go through the hard times to develop the emotional bandwidth and skill sets needed for achieving greatness. So, with that, you should not have any regrets but take each experience as a lesson in something that your future self with you thank you for!

How can our readers follow you online?

curatedbeautyrx.com @doctor.christie

Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.

My pleasure. Thank you for the opportunity!

Dr. Christie Prendergast: “Why you should start with being beautiful on the inside” was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Dr. Leilani Carver-Madalon:”How One Can Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome”

Dr. Leilani Carver-Madalon:“How One Can Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome”

Stop beating yourself up over mistakes. As my two year old toddler belts out from the movie Frozen “Let it go.” You are human. Learn from it, apologize, and let it go. If you won’t remember it in a year, let it go.

As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Leilani Carver-Madalon,Ph.D.

Dr. Leilani Carver-Madalon is a Communication Strategist, Leadership Expert and Professor who seeks to empower others through pragmatic communication strategies and effective leadership tactics. Leilani is an Associate Professor of Strategic Communication and Leadership at Maryville University. Before earning her Ph.D., Professor Carver worked for eight years in prestigious communication roles in varying industries, such as Finance, Mobile Technologies and Consulting. She was awarded Maryville University’s Woman of Distinction Award and selected to deliver a TEDx talk entitled: Scripts that Ignite your Power. Additionally, Dr. Carver-Madalon has lived and worked abroad in both Taiwan and China and has taught university courses in China, Vietnam, Cambodia, Switzerland, England, Australia, France and Italy. She has been conducting interviews with diverse female executives in Europe and in the States. Based upon her research findings, interviews and her own experiences, Dr. Carver-Madalon is now writing a book on leadership and empowerment.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?

When I was in college, I switched my major nine times… officially. I had no idea what I wanted to do for a career and my first eight years out of college involved working for lots of different organizations from a huge corporation whose corporate campus had its own zip code, to a small, environmental nonprofit where shoes were optional, to living in a remote area of China where I was one of eight foreigners working in a city of four million. I switched careers, not jobs but careers, three times by the time I was 30. I felt unmoored and I worried a lot . If I could go back in time, I would tell myself to be present in the moment and enjoy these diverse experiences because all those adventures helped shape me into a better person and provided the knowledge and foundations to get me to where I am today. Even now as a professor, I am still very curious. A friend of mine jokingly calls me intellectually promiscuous.

Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?

There have been two times in my life when I have taken huge, strategic risks. The first was when I had been working for a huge corporation and my whole team was laid off. I had been working with a wonderful Project Manager from China and she asked if I had any interest in teaching English in China. I had never been to China, did not speak Chinese, did not know anyone in China and was not a teacher. I moved by myself to China during SARS. I was so scared and I did it anyway. I felt like a total imposter trying to teach English those first weeks.

My second big risk was when I was when I quit a great job to go back to school to earn my Ph.D. I accepted a Graduate Teaching Assistantship and while I would not have to pay tuition, I would only be making around $10,000 a year. I was not married, had a small amount of savings and did not have a backup plan other than trying to find another job. It was terrifying and I felt like an imposter as a graduate student and wondered if I was smart enough to earn a Ph.D. I worried that I would fail out of the program. That first year, I won an Outstanding Teaching Award and proceeded to win a teaching award every year I was in graduate school.

My “take away” is that I would have never found my vocation if I had not been willing to take that strategic risk. Risk is necessary. Also, not letting yourself dwell on fear.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

Maryville University stands out because of our value placed on technological innovation and our true focus on being student centered in everything we do.

Maryville University is an innovative and technology forward university as evidenced by our Apple Distinguished School designation. Regarding devices, each student is provided an iPad and an Apple Pencil so that hardware is consistent and professors can create curriculum knowing that all students will have access to the same device. While this is helpful, the exceptional part is that professors are continuously trained in learning technologies throughout the year and we have two weeks of intensive technological trainings (one week in Fall and one week in Spring) dedicated to learn best practices in teaching and learning on our many systems, as well as discipline specific apps. We are learning cutting edge technologies such as VR/AR and how to incorporate new technologies effectively to promote student engagement and learning. Additionally, we can request specific apps to use in our courses to advance learning. We are constantly asking how we can use technology to better serve our students both in our classes and in their careers.

This technology focus was invaluable when the pandemic struck and we needed to pivot our on-ground classes to a synchronous, virtual learning environment. Professors and students were both able to utilize technology to continue interactive teaching and learning. This pivot was able to happen almost immediately.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

I have had, and continue to have, many wonderful mentors.

I never thought I would be a professor. I would not be in my dream job without my academic Fairy Godmother, Dr. Tracy Russo. Dr. Russo saw my potential before I did. I was working full-time and taking Master’s Degree classes at night, much like my grad students do now. Dr. Russo saw my potential before I even had considered it. She is the one who asked me if I had ever thought about being a professor (I hadn’t). I hope to be that kind of mentor, one who sees the greatest potential in people, sometimes even before they see it themselves.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?

Imposter Syndrome is an experience where an individual feels like a fraud intellectually and/or professionally. Researchers Clance and Imes originally discovered the Imposter Phenomenon (often now referred to as Imposter Syndrome) in 1978 when analyzing high achieving women, although both men and women may experience it.

People who are experiencing Imposter Syndrome feel like they are not good enough, like they don’t belong and/or that they are a fraud and it is only a matter of time before they will be found out.

You can find out if you have Imposter Syndrome by taking the following test which was created by Clance, one of the original authors.

What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?

Imposter Syndrome limits people because they never feel like they are truly successful. Underneath the façade there is often a lack of confidence.

Another potential downside is that someone may not go for what they really want. I see this happen a lot with some of my students who play small. This is often the effect of perfectionism and/or the fear of failure. If they only do what they are good at then they do not have to risk failure. So, instead of going after their dream job, they go after the safe job. They play it safe and then end up regretting it.

How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?

One of the problems of Imposter Syndrome is that you are very busy trying to prove your own intelligence or competencies that you are often not very focused on others. It is incredibly difficult to be fully present with another person or persons if you are afraid you will be exposed as a fraud. With Imposter Syndrome you are so wrapped up in yourself, you miss authentic, deep interactions with others.

We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?

I still remember the first time I stood in front of a university classroom and was responsible for the education of 25 college students. My biggest fear was that a student would ask me a question and I would not know the answer and all the students would know that this was my first time teaching a university class and I would be exposed as a fraud. The irony is that now that I have been teaching for 15 years, I now love when a student asks me something I do not know because it gives us something to explore and learn together. My job is not the holder of all knowledge but as someone who teachers others how to learn, critically think and apply that learning.

Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?

Yes, I have mostly eliminated that imposter feeling. The more experiences I have, the more confident I am in my abilities and my expertise. However, I do see my students struggle with this frequently.

I will say that with COVID-19 and working from home (with little or no childcare) and being a mother can bring in some Imposter feelings. I was a guest on a professional podcast and in the middle I hear my toddler (who we are potty training) shout “Mommy, I have to go potty NOW!” from the other side of the door. What do you do? I can’t just leave her out there and I have no idea where my husband has gone (he was taking an emergency work call).I had to ask to pause the podcast. They were very understanding but it made me feel like a fake for a moment. I had to remind myself that being a mother is a very powerful role and that we are in a pandemic and are having to manage multiple roles at the same time.

I have (mostly) eliminated my Imposter Syndrome by working on increasing my confidence. Additionally, I stopped trying to please everyone and/or worrying about pleasing everyone.

I often use a visualization exercise to help me in my decision making and to boost my confidence before a speech and/or event. I visualize that I have a boardroom of people in my head and that I am the Chairwoman of this board. This board serves to give me constructive and positive feedback. The people I love and respect (and who love and respect me) sit on this board. In my head, I check in with them (or if it is a really big decision/event, I check in with them in real life). I realized about ten years ago, that I had mean girls sitting on my board and they were giving unhelpful critiques constantly. These mean girls were people I did not like or respect… so I fired them. None of my real friends would call me fat, tell me I’m stupid or berate me for a minor mistake. Now, I only listen to voices who are wise.

In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.

  1. Use Power Scripts.

We all have scripts, things we say repeatedly to ourselves. Some scripts are empowering and some are disempowering. Positive self-talk is so important. How you talk to yourself matters and if you are saying things to yourself that you would not say to a friend, stop saying them to yourself. A few years ago I found myself in a professional funk. I had lost my joy for my work. I kept telling myself that I needed to keep doing my job. I finally realized that I had let a prestigious title hold me in a job I did not enjoy. I started telling myself “Leilani, follow your joy” instead of “I have a great job and should be grateful for what I have.” I ended up stepping down from my position and started following my joy which has led me to interview successful women in London, Paris (before COVID-19), begin writing a book and also led to a TEDx Talk. I am energized and back to loving my work. One hack is to use self talk in the third person as there is evidence that it makes it more powerful. I pick a self-mantra for every year and have for the last eight years. In the past they have been… Leilani is powerful. Leilani is peaceful. This year is Leilani is Blooming. Right now, I should be teaching in Paris, but due to COVID-19, I have been self-quarantined at home since March. I am new ways to grow as a person and professional while being planted.

2. Create a “Brag on Me” List

Write down all of your accomplishments… everything… degrees earned, babies birthed/adopted, animals loved, friendships maintained, cities/countries traveled, cars purchased, money donated, hours volunteered, miles ran, software learned, pounds of kale eaten… whatever makes you proud of yourself. This is your “Brag on Me” List. Then, every month look at it. I started a list in college. Some of my fun adventures have included: Tried every type of dumpling at my favorite dumpling restaurant in Northeast China, attended two Presidential Inaugurations and an Inaugural Ball, visited 48 of the 50 States, went sailing alongside mother and baby whales in the WhitSunday Islands in Australia, surfed the South China Sea, and danced in a holy waterfall in Cambodia. These are just a few of the fun adventures that are on my brag list. When I become discouraged about all that I have not yet accomplished or if I feel like a fake, out comes the list and it reminds me of all I have accomplished.

3. Encouragement Email Folder/Box

Sometimes you need to hear how great you are from someone else. Create an encouragement box/email folder with notes, emails, letters of all the wonderful things people have said about you. I have this one email from this student from 12 years ago that I thought HATED me as he glared and crossed his arms the entire semester. It turns out that he thought I was the best professor he had ever had. I go back and read it when I feel discouraged. I read a lot of these emails and notes when I am feeling down. I also have a physical box of thank you letters, physical notes, and letters. If my house is burning down, besides first grabbing the living people and creatures, I want to grab this box.

4. Let mistakes go.

Stop beating yourself up over mistakes. As my two year old toddler belts out from the movie Frozen “Let it go.” You are human. Learn from it, apologize, and let it go. If you won’t remember it in a year, let it go. I teach my students to never email angry. This is because I have a little bit of a temper and will shoot off an angry email that I later will deeply regret. I did this just two months ago when I was Zoombied out, overtired and in a cranky mood. I sent off a heated email over something silly. And the next morning, I regretted it and sent a thoughtful apology email. Then I laughed at myself. Five years ago, I would have beat myself up over it for weeks. Now, I made a big sign on my laptop and I moved on.

5. Get a mentor and be a mentor. Mentorship reduces feelings of imposters syndrome.

I had a baby at 41 years old and was struggling with balancing motherhood with everything else on my plate. Everyone else seemed to do it so easily. I did not understand until I found a mentor who explained that no, it was ridiculously hard but that it would get easier (never easy) because I would figure it out. She also said motherhood was adding another full-time job to my life. Mentors help you feel less alone, help provide resources and champion you. Get a mentor and be a mentor to someone else. I feel so passionately about this that I helped started a women’s mentorship program at Maryville University. It has been hugely successful and there is nothing more rewarding than to hear how our students, staff and faculty have been empowered.

6. Celebrate Yourself.

Do not wait for others to validate or celebrate you. One thing I have recently learned is that people who often win awards may have asked others to nominate them or have even written the nomination and have asked others to submit it for them. This blew me away as I would never have thought about doing this. Yet, this seems to be part of the awards game. It is often things like this piece of knowledge (which I received from a mentor) that help keep the imposter feelings away. Celebrate yourself when you hit those cork popping moments. Share with others what you are doing. Others cannot know your value if you are not sharing it with them.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

Right now I cannot think of any movement more important than the valuing of black lives.

The litany of horrific murders (with no justice), the huge economic disparities that are only widening and the disproportionate deaths from COVID-19 should be a blinding beacon that our current culture and systems are in need of great repair.

We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂

Dr. Brene Brown because she is my academic celebrity hero because her research is so impactful but she shares it with everyone in a delightful and vulnerable way that is intended to make lives better.

How can our readers follow you on social media?

Website: www.leilanicarver.com

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/LeilaniCarver

Twitter: www.twitter.com/leilanicarver

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

Dr. Leilani Carver-Madalon:”How One Can Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome” was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Alicia Mae Smith of ILÈ Events: They Told Me It Was Impossible And I Did It Anyway

…I’ve always wanted to start an “I Believe” movement, challenging others to follow their dreams. This social experiment would require people to commit and confess to the beliefs or changes they would like to make. Once others hear, they would also commit to helping them achieve that through social media or with words of encouragement. As a community, we do the best we can, with the resources we have, to help another achieve their dreams.

As a part of our series about “dreamers who ignored the naysayers and did what others said was impossible”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Alicia Mae Smith.

Alicia Mae Smith is the CEO and Lead Planner of ILÈ Events. Alicia had her first itch of wedding planning when she assisted Mindy Weiss applying glitter tattoos at a Bat Mitzvah. From there she fell in love with hosting events and decided to combine her years of hospitality and customer service with event planning. Alicia serves as a confidant, advisor, and a calming voice for her clients during one of the most stressful times in their lives. Alicia has planned over 50 successful events, been mentioned on some of the top wedding platforms, and is trailblazing on social media.

When Alicia isn’t busy planning a wedding of someone’s dreams, she is jumping on the trampoline with her children, cooking something from Fit Men Cook, or reading and watching rerun wedding flicks. To learn more please visit http://www.ileevents.com.

Thank you so much for joining us Alicia! Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?

We are currently expanding the brand to wedding jewelry allowing our brand to be a part of weddings across the nation and sending a little happiness across the way.

In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?

ILÈ Events offers a concierge-style wedding planning service that stands out in the crowd. We have exceeded the “norm” of full planning services and created our High Touch Service that allows our clients the flexibility to enjoy their engagement and continue their usual schedule without significant interruptions.

Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?

At the time, I was pivoting my company into a full-time career and relying on it as my primary source of income. My idea was to expand the company to create a multimillion-dollar brand. I shared my vision with peers, and they explained that planning weddings was just a hobby. My reaction was a simple nod, and my ongoing response is reaching my goals in front of their eyes.

I overcame the naysayers by keeping my vision in front of me, setting goals, and accomplishing them through small daily tasks. Although I see the whole staircase in my mind, I only focus on each step. That belief has rewarded me in many ways.

In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong? 🙂

I’ve made more money at ILÈ Events than any full-time job I previously worked. ILÈ Events has also employed over 20 team members, independent contractors, and other wedding planners. My company has provided opportunities for others to survive independently and pursue their dreams. I think that type of change has been worth all of my sacrifices.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful to who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

I’ve received excellent support from my parents and my husband. They have backed me from the beginning. I would also like to highlight Jewel Georgieff, owner of Pralique Weddings (www.pralique.com). She has been instrumental in my career as someone who is in the wedding industry and has proven success. Jewel has guided me in the details of my brand to align with creating vendor partnerships, practical methods, and processes.

It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?

As an introvert, I am used to being overlooked and doubted. These actions have helped me create “blinders” to how other people respond to my ideas and goals. I have learned that their response is a projection of the feelings of their capabilities and not mine.

Based on your experience, can you share five strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)

  1. Create a blocker — Envision a goal in mind that you want to accomplish. Imagine how it feels when you achieve it and how it will affect your friends and family’s lives. Thinking back to this image in your low moments will help rejuvenate your focus. The more you use that image to block out the naysayers and negative thoughts, the easier your goals stay at the forefront of your mind. Every time I felt discouraged, I would remember my goal of ILE Events serving clients around the world. That dream has kept the company alive and thriving.
  2. Develop a plan — Many people set goals but fail to organize the execution of those goals. The easiest way to tackle any idea is to break it down to small tasks you can accomplish each day. For example, if your yearly sales goal is $250k, you would need to sell $20.8k/month or $5.2k/week or $742/day. Now that you know how much you desire to make, it’s time to attach your services. How many services or products will you have to sell to reach your daily, weekly, or monthly quota? Getting to the bottom of that number will help you reach your overall plan.
  3. Use Your Local Resources — It is challenging to start a business with limited resources; that is why you have to think outside of the box. Mastering ways to accomplish your ideas in an untraditional way will set your brand apart from the rest. I started using social media to tell the love stories of many engaged couples instead of advertising my services. This strategy allowed people to get a closer look at what they are getting when hiring me instead of taking my “word.”
  4. Find inspiring stories of people accomplishing the things you wish to achieve. I find myself watching documentaries of iconic creators like Walt Disney and Oprah. Watching their journey gives me so much faith. They had a dream, kept with it, and now are great legends in our society. I, too, will complete what I have started.
  5. Please don’t take advice from people who have not proven their success. It’s thoughtful that so many people want to help and see you succeed, but taking advice from them can be costly. It’s best to find a mentor who can help walk you through unfamiliar places. Having an ally you can trust, who’s been where you are about to go, can speed you ahead. If it weren’t for my mentor Jewel, I am not sure I would have easily overcome some of my obstacles.

What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?

Rosa Parks confidently stated, “I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be?

You never know what your idea can trigger. I’ve always wanted to start an “I Believe” movement, challenging others to follow their dreams. This social experiment would require people to commit and confess to the beliefs or changes they would like to make. Once others hear, they would also commit to helping them achieve that through social media or with words of encouragement. As a community, we do the best we can, with the resources we have, to help another achieve their dreams.

Can our readers follow you on social media?

Yes! Follow our company on IG at @ileevents (www.instagram.com/ileevents) and my personal page on IG at @officiallyaliciamae (www.instagram.com/officiallyaliciamae)

Thank you for these great stories. We wish you only continued success!

Alicia Mae Smith of ILÈ Events: They Told Me It Was Impossible And I Did It Anyway was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Dustin Cash and Charlene Valledor of SOS Beauty: How Technology Will Be Changing Beauty Industry

There’s certainly the risk of every conversation, every interaction, and ultimately every relationship being tracked and monetized, and eventually tied to the sale of something — whether it’s beauty, new shoes, or a new home. Already, what we look at online, what we write, and what we verbally say is being monitored to some degree. With our increased use of video conferencing for commercial purposes, our physical attributes are going to be scrutinized and mined in the same way. This is already happening on some level, so we have to continue to be mindful, and we as an industry have a responsibility to not abuse the trust and the privilege we have by having such an intimate relationship with our clients.

As a part of our series about how technology will be changing the beauty industry over the next five years I had the pleasure of interviewing Dustin Cash and Charlene Valledor of LA-based incubator, SOS Beauty.

Dustin Cash is the founder of SOS Beauty, a Los Angeles-based brand incubation agency working with some of the newest and most exciting new brands in beauty. As an innovative product developer and go-to-market strategist, Dustin tailored the SOS business model to adapt to the ever-shifting landscape of the industry. He and his team specialize in working with passionate brand founders and investors to launch new prestige and luxury brands and product innovation.

Charlene Valledor is the President of SOS Beauty, a Los Angeles-based brand incubation agency working with some of the newest and most exciting new brands in beauty. As a veteran product developer and branding strategist, Charlene specializes in working closely with brand founders to develop innovative and meaningful product experiences that turn customers into passionate brand ambassadors and die-hard fans. Her background in science and passion for storytelling allows her to partner with the best product chemists in the industry to create true product innovation while weaving authentic and memorable brand messaging throughout every brand touchpoint.

Thank you for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

Dustin: I actually got my start in this industry at the age of 18. While I was a freshman in college here in Los Angeles, studying visual communication, I started an event company and started doing a lot of events for a haircare brand called Alterna. In those days, they often held sales and education-based events all over the country, and I had done so many events with them, they eventually made me an offer to come in-house. I ended up staying with them for 10 years — wearing a lot of hats, from sales, education, marketing, and merchandising — almost everything but accounting. I’ve always been an entrepreneurial person, but that’s where I basically learned everything about running a beauty business. By the time I left that band, I had this really strong foundation of skills and a wide network of contacts in the industry. I challenged myself, took out a small business loan, and started my own body care line. I did absolutely everything myself. That process made me realize how hard it was to do this on your own. I thought, “if this is hard for me to do, with all my experience and my network, this must be impossible for everyone else.” At that point, I started consulting for other brands in LA, helping with everything from operations to product development. Very quickly, my consulting business started taking off, and I was drowning with inquiries. That’s when I started to realize that there was a need for this service — basically an agency that would help brand founders get their businesses off the ground.

Charlene: I’ve always wanted to work in beauty — ever since I was a child. I loved makeup, skincare, and was obsessed with marketing copy and packaging. I spent every penny I had at the MAC counter or the drugstore. I didn’t exactly know what my career options were, but I knew I wanted to be part of it. I got my degree in Biochemistry, and after graduation, while all of my college friends were starting medical or dentistry school, I basically hit the pavement and hand-delivered my resume to every beauty brand based in LA and Orange County. I got hired that fall at this small brand in the sales and marketing department. My next job was at a haircare company, doing project management and operations, which taught me how to actually manage a lot of moving pieces and problem solve.

When I went into my next interview for a product development job at a luxury cosmetics company, I basically said, “I can learn how to do anything, and I know how to make stuff happen.” I got that job, and I felt like I had found my perfect place. I was challenged daily, in the best way possible. I felt like I was using all the tools in my toolbox, and finally getting to build something. I knew how to manage a project and commercialize, and I knew what the sales and marketing teams needed to make a launch successful at the retail level, but now I finally had an opportunity to be creative — developing product concepts and bringing them to life. I didn’t just see it as making products, I saw it as creating new experiences for people.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

Dustin: Getting industry recognition and getting two ICMAD awards for products that I created (OUAI Dry Shampoo Foam and Anti-Frizz Sheets) was one of the most exciting things to happen to me. Coming from a professional beauty background, I’ve always put a lot of importance on supporting fellow industry professionals. I believe that by supporting one another and fostering the spirit of collaboration, we make ourselves better leaders and better innovators and that together, we drive our industry in the right direction. It was such a humbling experience to have my work recognized by my peers. I felt extremely proud.

Are you able to identify a “tipping point” in your career when you started to see success? Did you start doing anything different? Are there takeaways or lessons that others can learn from that?

Dustin: In 2015, I met Deanna Kangas, Andrew Knox, and Jen Atkin. They were starting this new haircare brand and needed product development help, so they brought me on. That brand became OUAI Haircare, and it was a rocket ship. It was, and arguably still is, one of the hottest new hair care brands out on the market. I was there from the beginning, doing product development, but also just about everything else — from international registration to training our Australian retailers, to setting up the UPS account. That brand was almost an instant success, and I couldn’t make products fast enough. That’s when I started to see that, like Jen Atkin, these experts and professionals were using social media to promote their work and their talents, and starting to become celebrities themselves and building their audience, and there was power in that audience. It felt like we were at the forefront of this digital brand revolution. The marketing strategies were so different in that space, I had to adapt a lot of what I learned from Alterna, which was more of a traditional brand with traditional distribution, to this new digital celebrity/influencer world. I had to learn to pull these new levers to appeal to this new customer base, so that experience really changed my trajectory and catapulted our business.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person to whom you are grateful who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Dustin: Tamara Brown, who I’m still very good friends with today, was sort of a mentor of mine. She is extremely hard-working, smart, and strategic. Tamara is one of the few that have been able to adapt to the rapidly changing retail landscape without skipping a beat. She can change course when necessary without losing sight of the big picture.

Charlene: I learned a lot from Carisa Janes from my years at Hourglass. She taught me a lot about entrepreneurship, the importance of understanding quality, and having high expectations for your team and for yourself. She started her career as a product developer, so it was truly inspiring to see her build this incredible brand by staying true to her vision and always putting product innovation and performance first.

The beauty industry today has access to technology that was inconceivable only a short time ago. Can you tell us about the “cutting edge” technologies that you are working with or introducing? How do you think that will help people?

Charlene: The technology and the quality of our cameras and the level of detail they can produce, and with consistency has not only changed the way we see ourselves but also how we present ourselves to the world. We’re not far from being able to learn about a new launch, get a personalized consultation and tutorial, find your perfect shade, purchase, and share real-time feedback with other shoppers — seamlessly — all within the same platform. We’ve had to quickly adapt to this new reality because of COVID, and it’s really pushing the innovation in this space. Whereas you didn’t really know who you were talking to when you uploaded a video on YouTube or IG, now you are seeing your customers/followers /fans on IG live or on Zoom, face to face. More and more, the majority of our human interactions are going to occur across screens, so that real-time digital impression is going to be just as important to consider as the IRL impression, and that’s going to factor into our purchasing decisions. In the early 2000s, we used to talk about HD makeup, and complexion products had to perform well under artificial lighting do avoid the dreaded “flashback” from cameras.

Now we’re talking about makeup that has to do its job and make us look in good on the screens of our computers and mobile devices as well as in person. Our eyes process color and light differently than our screens do, so how do we make up for that gap? There is so much interesting technology that’s being developed that is going to help bridge that gap of perception and make the transition smoother.

Keeping “Black Mirror” and the “Law of Unintended Consequences” in mind, can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?

Charlene: There’s certainly the risk of every conversation, every interaction, and ultimately every relationship being tracked and monetized, and eventually tied to the sale of something — whether it’s beauty, new shoes, or a new home. Already, what we look at online, what we write, and what we verbally say is being monitored to some degree. With our increased use of video conferencing for commercial purposes, our physical attributes are going to be scrutinized and mined in the same way. This is already happening on some level, so we have to continue to be mindful, and we as an industry have a responsibility to not abuse the trust and the privilege we have by having such an intimate relationship with our clients.

Can you share 3 things that excite you about the “beauty-tech” industry?

Dustin:

  1. The advancement of analytical tools that further our understanding of the effects of our diet and lifestyle on our skin and hair. I’m fascinated by how much our diet affects our skin, and yet we know so little about what we are actually ingesting and how our body is reacting to all of these factors.
  2. I love the enhanced and extremely customized shopping experiences that are being tested now in beauty retail. Before COVID even happened, we were lucky enough to see what was being tested in flagship stores in Asia, and it was just mind-blowing. The customer is essentially able to have this extremely rich shopping experience through her mobile device without speaking to a single store employee — these are technologies that are now crucial in our post-COVID world.
  3. The real-time interaction that is happening between brands and customers on Instagram, TikTok, and other social apps. We can see each other with better resolution and clarity, making the interactions more realistic than ever before. Real consultations and education moments are happening digitally, and the quality of the interactions are sometimes better than what you can ever hope for in person.

Can you share 3 things that concern you about the industry? If you had the ability to implement 3 ways to reform or improve the industry, what would you suggest?

Charlene: We have such power as an industry, so I’m very optimistic about our future. We haven’t even scratched the surface on what we could do if we really put our heads together as a community. The amount of investment that went into beauty in a time of unprecedented diversity and representation is proof that we have the power to really change our society’s narrative. I’m optimistic, but I do see areas that we need to work on.

  1. I’m concerned about the degree of editing that can occur in our digital lives. As our online interactions become our primary form of connectivity, we have to keep in mind that our perfect Zoom backgrounds are not a reflection of the entire home, for example. I would love us to be able to be more honest about our imperfections.
  2. The excessive packaging and shipping that a DTC world demands. We have to find a way to do better. There are ways in which we can minimize the number of single-item shipments that fly across the world to be delivered overnight — we just have to band together as an industry to make the changes. The convenience is great, but at what cost?
  3. The misinformation about ingredients. As a person with a science background, I want to encourage our community to learn the facts before we start fear-mongering and fighting the wrong enemy.

You are an expert about beauty. Can you share 5 ideas that anyone can use “to feel beautiful”? (Please share a story or example for each.)

Dustin: Decompressing and taking time for yourself at the end of the day is essential! I love to steam and just breathe and meditate as often as I can. It’s what keeps me sane. I also think taking time to change your scenery is so important to maintain perspective. Take a break — even if it’s just a drive or a quick weekend trip — every month. See something new or try a new experience. It refreshes your mind. Lastly — and this one is so simple, but it’s worth mentioning — I find that I always feel better when I’m eating right. I joke that I’m 98% vegan, but I really try to stick to that as much as I can. I feel a tremendous difference in by energy and clarity of mind when I eat right.

Charlene: I love to massage my face with a gua sha stone, a roller, or even just my hands at night as I apply my face products. It helps me to relax my facial muscles and relieve the tension in my jaw and temples. I swear it also helps me to look less puffy and bloated in the morning, too. SLEEP is the other thing — there’s no better anti-aging treatment than a full night of sleep. I say this as someone who struggles with sleep, but there’s really no comparison — you can use all the most expensive products in the world, but if you don’t sleep, it’s no use.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

Dustin: The reason why I started SOS is rooted in how passionate I am about empowering people to follow their dreams. Inspiring and supporting entrepreneurs to start their businesses and make their mark on the world is my purpose. I believe in the power of positive thinking, and when someone achieves success, it not only helps them and their family, but it creates a halo effect in the communities around them.

Charlene: I want to inspire women to advocate for themselves and for each other. The idea of asking for what you need, let alone what you want, is still so difficult to swallow for women — including myself. We have power, and this entire industry is proof, so we need to claim our seats at the table, get what we want, and pass it along to the next woman in line. I want the next generation of women to not only feel worthy but to fully and wholeheartedly know that they are entitled to those seats because they are.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Dustin: Wake up, dress up, and show up. My grandfather taught me that, and it has never left me. The simple act of just being present for the opportunities that arise is half the battle. I try to instill this in the team and demonstrate that no opportunity is too small — just show up, and never take anything for granted.

Charlene: Decide based on faith, not fear. I have to remind myself of this every day. I am a naturally risk-averse person, but you need to just trust that you will be able to handle anything that comes your way, and not let the possibility of failure cripple you.

Dustin Cash and Charlene Valledor of SOS Beauty: How Technology Will Be Changing Beauty Industry was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

The Future Of Travel: “Solar-powered yachts; Go around the world and never touch a drop of diesel”…

The Future Of Travel: “Solar-powered yachts; Go around the world and never touch a drop of diesel” With Boyd Taylor of Serenity Yachts

No matter how good things are in a moment, or how impactful our company is from an environmental standpoint, it’s always important to step back and see what other good we can do for others and for the world as a whole. We spend a lot of time working on innovative energy technologies. In the future, as the company grows and technology gets better, we would love to build autonomous vessels that could pick up garbage, scavenge for lost fishing nets, or even help respond to an oil spill.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Boyd Taylor. Boyd, executive director of Serenity Yachts, is paving the way for the future of yachting with unique solar-powered vessels. Taylor has always enjoyed boating and being on the water, and has brought the visionary concept of merging solar power and yachting ―a technology/green angle ― to reality.

Taylor has created pure electric and hybrid yachts for the modern sailor. These unique vessels harness the natural energy of the sun to allow the nearly endless range of a sailboat, without sacrificing the space and comfort of a power catamaran. Serenity’s quiet electric motors allow everyone onboard to enjoy the yachting experience, taking in the ocean air and listening to waves lapping against the hull ― not breathing in diesel fumes and listening to the rumble of the engine. Prior to founding Serenity Yachts, Taylor was an account executive/producer with JKC Communications, an operator of radio stations in St. Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands. Before that, he served as a senior investigator/client relations coordinator with the Mintz Group, an investigative firm in San Francisco, California. He has also worked as a reporter for Alabama Public Radio in Tuscaloosa, Alabama; and a BP claims coordinator for Citrin Law Firm in Daphne, Alabama.

He earned a Bachelor of Arts Communication (cum laude) with a major in telecommunication & film, and a Bachelor of Arts in Spanish (cum laude), from the University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

Taylor, a resident of Winter Park, Florida, enjoys traveling in his free time.

Thank you for joining us Taylor. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

My wife, Elizabeth, and I are both passionate about sustainability and travel, and we’ve always wanted to start an eco-friendly business together. Elizabeth and I started exploring market sectors where sustainability had not made a huge impact, and found tremendous room for improvement in luxury yachting. Thus, we started Serenity Yachts to elevate environmental consciousness in yachting without sacrificing the luxury experience that many consumers demand.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

To preface this story, you should first know that our boats are really quiet — electric motors make virtually no noise compared to your typical diesel engines. One night in Greece, we quietly came into an anchorage off of Antipaxos. In the morning, we walked out on deck and looked into the water to find we were surrounded by schools of fish, sea turtles, all sorts of wildlife in this remote paradise. About an hour later, a few tourist ferries came barreling in with their loud diesel engines, and the wildlife vanished. It’s probably the greatest experience, exploring the beauty of the seas without disturbing it.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Properly navigating different cultural norms is essential to running an international business, and we (two Americans) learned the hard way that there is definitely such a thing as an improper a cup of tea — especially if your captain is English. On the maiden voyage of the first Serenity 64, Elizabeth was boiling water for tea, and our newly-hired captain asked if she would kindly make him a cup as well. He asked for milk and sweetener, which she happily provided. The trouble is that Elizabeth was making green tea and, because she is vegan, she, somewhat puzzled, offered up her almond milk. The captain was appalled! “Proper tea,” as our captain was swift to inform us, is black tea — to him, specifically the brand PG Tips — and is to be consumed with dairy milk or creamer, unless otherwise specified. I won’t go into the proportions and delicate chemistry of combining the ingredients of a cup of tea but, needless to say, we laughed about this for ages after.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

There is nothing like cruising on a Serenity yacht. Whether you buy one to be green or because you hate paying for diesel, nothing beats the quiet electric cruising. There’s no need to sacrifice luxury or comfort. There’s no putting up with the diesel fumes, the rumble of the engine, or the logistical constraints that come with sailing. You get to cruise endlessly, exploring the most beautiful places in the world without damaging or polluting them in the process.

Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”? Can you share a story about that?

I’m pretty young, so I’m still receiving more advice than I’m giving. My tip for anyone in any industry is to find the thing in your job that energizes you and use it as a reward to get you through the drudgery. I’m a hands-on person and I love digging into the physical/mechanical parts of my job, so I tend to get bogged down with financial or administrative work. Instead of putting it off, I use the fun part of my job as a reward at the end of the day to get through the boring stuff. Now, instead of hitting a 2:00 slump, I get energized because I finally get to do the work I’m most passionate about.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

My wife, Elizabeth — hands down. There would be no Serenity Yachts if it weren’t for her. She has sacrificed so much to help me get this business up and running. She’s an environmental lawyer, so her day-to-day job is literally saving the world but she still takes the time to help me. Every second she gives to Serenity Yachts helps us be a better, more sustainable company.

Let’s jump to the core of our discussion. Can you share with our readers about the innovations that you are bringing to the travel and hospitality industries?

We build solar-powered yachts. The idea is that you can go around the world and never touch a drop of diesel, if you have good weather and sea conditions — and you can do it in unparalleled comfort and luxury. As humans, we are driven to explore, to see new things, to experience the beautiful world around us but, historically, the earth has paid that price. Serenity Yachts has changed that. Now, you can explore pristine waters and coasts without polluting or damaging them in the process, so that you and future generations can come back time and time again.

Which “pain point” are you trying to address by introducing this innovation?

For some people, the “pain point” we are addressing is the cost of diesel fuel and the running cost of a yacht. As a company, we are addressing the unnecessarily large carbon cost of yachting. We want to show the yachting industry that you don’t have to burn diesel to have a luxurious cruise around the Mediterranean or Caribbean.

How do you envision that this might disrupt the status quo?

We are already seeing huge changes in the market. While not everyone has the capability that we do, we’re seeing other companies introduce green technologies to at least offset some of their emissions.

You are a “travel insider”. How would you describe your “perfect vacation experience”?

My perfect vacation experience necessarily involves nature and the freedom to explore off the beaten path. Taking a Serenity yacht through the islands in the Bahamas epitomized this experience; my wife and I got to explore remote beaches and uninhabited islands. We were able to see sharks, stingrays, and other incredible marine life, which we might have missed out on if we had traveled differently.

Can you share with our readers how have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?

No matter how good things are in a moment, or how impactful our company is from an environmental standpoint, it’s always important to step back and see what other good we can do for others and for the world as a whole. We spend a lot of time working on innovative energy technologies. In the future, as the company grows and technology gets better, we would love to build autonomous vessels that could pick up garbage, scavenge for lost fishing nets, or even help respond to an oil spill. We are still a relatively new and small company, but we are striving to make a great and lasting positive impact on the world around us.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

My wife and I are already taking part in the environmental movement. If I had to pick another, I would start the Campaign for Human Decency. I would love to see people treat others and think of others more compassionately. I believe that we, as human beings, need to spend more time thinking about how our actions and choices effect other people and weigh our decisions accordingly, regardless of whether or not they are part of the same social group. Everyone has their own individual struggles, but can you imagine how much better it would be to deal with them if you could count on people to behave compassionately?

How can our readers follow you on social media?

I welcome everyone to follow Serenity Yachts on Instagram @serenity.yachts or Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SerenitySolarYachts/. You can also check out our website — www.serenityyachts.com.

The Future Of Travel: “Solar-powered yachts; Go around the world and never touch a drop of diesel”… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Mary Maydan of Maydan Architects: “They told me it was impossible and I did it anyway”

My advice to women is to persist and believe in themselves, even in the face of workplace adversity. Women deserve to reach the top of our profession. When so many talented women decide to quit architecture we all lose. The problem is bigger than just representation in the workforce. The women that are not represented in the firms , are not represented in our built communities. We are missing their perspective, voice and vision.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Mary Maydan. Mary is the principal and founder of Maydan Architects, a Palo Alto, California-based boutique architecture and interior design firm. Born in Tel Aviv, Maydan possesses a style that celebrates and reflects what it means to be modern. She founded her firm in 2004, and gained immediate recognition for her design of an ultra modern residence, which stood in sharp contrast to the traditional architecture that dominated Silicon Valley at the time. This first project established Maydan as a leader of a new trend and defined her niche — minimalistic contemporary architecture.

Prior to founding Maydan Architects, Maydan was the U.S. Correspondent of the prestigious newspaper, Globes, the largest and oldest financial newspaper in Israel. She lived in New York City, where she spent her time interviewing and writing feature stories about some of the most inspiring figures of our time.

Maydan relocated to Silicon Valley after meeting her husband. When they planned their first home, she fell in love with design and with the idea of making her own mark, as opposed to writing about other people who did great things.

Maydan’s high-end residential projects are driven by the motto that architecture should always be inspirational. She approaches each space as an artistic challenge, using her keen understanding of design, trends, construction, and cost to create one-of-a-kind homes that are beautiful, warm, livable and inviting. With her strong belief that architecture shapes the way we live our lives, Maydan focuses on creating designs that are functional, environmentally responsible and forward thinking.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Can you tell us your ‘backstory’?

Prior to founding Maydan Architects, I was the U.S. Correspondent of the prestigious newspaper, Globes, the largest and oldest financial newspaper in Israel. I lived in New York City, where I spent my time interviewing and writing feature stories about some of the most inspiring figures of our time. I had the privilege of interviewing Mikahil Gorbachev, Mike Bloomberg, Barabara Waters, Larry King, Dan Rather, and Jerry Seinfeld, to name a few. I relocated to Silicon Valley after meeting my husband. When we were planning our first home, I fell in love with design and with the idea of making my own mark, as opposed to writing about other people who did great things. It was then I started Maydan Architects.

Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?

We usually work on four to five projects a year and our latest project is always the one I am most excited about because this is our next opportunity to challenge myself and the team, reinvent and create something new and fresh.

Architecture, like other forms of art, can invoke feelings and inspire, but unlike other art forms it also operates on a functional and practical level, too. As such it has the power to shape the way we live our lives. The principles of modern design — open spaces, indoor-outdoor flow, and ample natural light — all add to the quality of our lives, and contribute towards health, mood and productivity.

In our practice we strive to deliver the extraordinary, to design for our clients dream homes, and create beautiful buildings that are functional and environmentally responsible.

In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?

Our firm is known for disrupting the status quo in Silicon Valley and leading the trend of modern design in the area. My first project was an ultra modern residence in Palo Alto. It gained immediate recognition as it stood in sharp contrast to the traditional and Spanish architecture that dominated our area. This project established our firm as a leader of a new trend and defined our niche — minimalistic contemporary architecture.

Many firms don’t specialize in a specific style. They design whatever the client is interested in. We established ourselves in our niche and are happy to focus solely on that.

I think we look at architecture a little romantically. We want each project to be one of a kind and outstanding. Architecture is not reserved for iconic buildings. We don’t look at a residence as just a house. It’s a work of art. We believe that even low budget projects should be gorgeous. Everyone appreciates beauty, no matter what their budget is.

Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?

I started designing residences in Palo Alto in the early 2000’s, and at the time Silicon Valley was the place that led the world in terms of innovation, shining as an early adopter in everything but architecture. People loved French Chateaus and Spanish mansions, Tuscany was the height of style, and arches were a status symbol. The consensus was that modern was suitable for office buildings but that no one would be interested in living in a modern home, because it would feel like living in an office. “If anyone wanted modern, developers would have built modern,” I was told and was also warned: “It will be very difficult to sell such a house. It would sell at a discount of at least10%-20%”

This notion was unfathomable to me. I was not a developer but I was completely convinced of the beauty of modern and it being a perfect fit for our area and context. I was eager to break away from the traditional mold of pitched roofs, arches and random windows. I wanted glass walls and sliding doors that would bring great natural light and a view of beautiful green lawns into spaces.

I didn’t feel that I needed validation. I was wholeheartedly convinced that when introduced to this style, people would fall in love with it. At the time, I didn’t even think it was brave to go against the stream. I was just passionate about my architecture. In hindsight I can see how bold it was to expect people to turn 180 degrees, and find beauty in something that they were so used to thinking of as cold and office-like.

In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong? 🙂

My first project drew a lot of attention even before it was completed. People came to our construction site and asked me to design for them. When my next big project went on the market, the first open house got out of control. There were over 1000 visitors that afternoon and the line of shoes that people were taking off when they entered the open house went all the way to the street. The realtor decided from then on to only have private showings.

It was clear that people were open to modern architecture. Young techies loved the clean lines, open floor plans and sleek design. A few years later developers started building modern houses too. As an anecdote, my first house sold two years ago not at a discount, but at a huge premium, to the founder of Whatsapp.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

We never succeed alone. Many people contribute to our success, but the most influential people who made me who I am, are definitely my parents. As a toddler my mom noticed that I was very good at math. She kept asking me harder and harder questions and delighting in my answers. Like any first time mom she bragged about me to everyone. For years I was oblivious to the fact that there is a stigma around women and math. I grew up seeing myself through my mom’s eyes. It fostered a feeling that anything is possible and I can dream big.

I think my parents’ support is even more outstanding when it comes to the fact that they supported my decisions, even when they did not necessarily like them. I was doing really well as a journalist when I decided to switch careers and go into architecture. My dad, who was a well known editor in Israel, at the level that sets agendas and carries great influence, told me, “Journalism is not something that you leave. It’s a calling, not a job.”

I knew that I couldn’t keep two jobs and be a good mom. It would make it impossible to succeed in any of them, so I pushed back and took a leave of absence from the newspaper. From the minute I made up my mind, he was 100% behind me. Supporting me, giving feedback, standing by my side when everyone thought that it was completely crazy to push for a new trend of architecture in our area.

It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resilience? Can you share the story with us?

In Elementary school I was chubby and was teased a lot by the other kids.It had a huge impact on me. At age 11 I learned to focus on healthy living. I changed the way I ate, lost weight, and with the newly found confidence that my tenacity and will power gave me, went on to make many new friends in middle school. I have stuck with the healthy lifestyle ever since.

Though the weight is long gone, the teasing had a lasting affect on me. The experience made me want to take action. When something doesn’t work out as I’d like, I need a plan. I can’t just sit and mope. I want to fix it. Having a course of action makes me feel instantly better as I know that I am working towards solving the problem. I also give a lot of positive feedback. It’s subconscious. If anyone deserves praise for anything, I am eager to give it and make them feel good about themselves.

Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible?

Find your passion and trust your judgement

We are very passionate about architecture and being loyal to our vision, which made breaking tradition easy. If you ask two people a question there will be three opinions, so if you want to be original and think out of the box, don’t ask people who will try to put you right back inside the box. Follow your passion and trust your own judgement.

Find great role models.

I draw inspiration from those whom I look up to. As a journalist I cherished my interview with Barbara Walters. I was in my mid twenties and she was an icon, known for making people open up and reveal their innermost feelings, often tearing up. I started by asking her: “Can I make you cry?”. She answered: “Of course you can. But I will make you cry first”. She asked me about my parents and my childhood, revealing some of her tactics. It was a huge privilege to get interview tips from the woman that paved the way for female journalists.

Go all the way

You can’t break tradition half way. In the beginning of my career I got many calls from people who wanted a modern interior but craftsman (or other traditional) exteriors “to fit better with the neighborhood”. As eager as I was to get the work, I turned these projects down. It seemed to me a huge mistake to build a house that hasn’t decided what it wants to be. It wasn’t my passion to design it and more than that, I thought that it would have very little appeal. For modernists it would not be modern enough and for traditionalists it would be too modern. If there is one piece of advice I can give, it’s that when you break tradition you have to believe in your vision and go all the way!

Focus on what’s important

Michelle Obama once said, “I can do it all, but not at the same time.” I am still working on that. I have 4 kids and a strong instinct to try to be everything for everyone all the time, but it’s a recipe for failure, so I am constantly learning my boundaries and I focus on the things that are really important, as a mom and at work.

Be optimistic, think positive

I am a natural optimist. I look at something impossible and I wholeheartedly think that I will find a way for it to work out. My eldest daughter often tells me: “Mom, you scare me with your optimism because I will end up so disappointed. I am going to ask dad.” I think of optimism the opposite way. I think that an optimistic person has the guts to try more and persist. It’s self fulfilling. My advice is: Think positive and don’t give up!

What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small compared to what lies within us.” — Maria Shriver

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

If I could inspire change in any field I would like to help promote equality in architecture. A recent major survey of the field found that women account for half of graduates from architecture programs in this country, but they make up about 20 percent of licensed architects and 17 percent of partners or principals in architecture firms.

There are many committees and organizations that work tirelessly to promote equality in architecture and I am convinced that it will be achieved. The question is not if and when, but how and what we have to do to get there. I believe that seeing female role models succeed is empowering, and mentorship is crucial. Both will help tremendously, but I can’t overstate enough that there is no simple solution or quick fix. Change is slow and takes time.

My advice to women is to persist and believe in themselves, even in the face of workplace adversity. Women deserve to reach the top of our profession. When so many talented women decide to quit architecture we all lose. The problem is bigger than just representation in the workforce. The women that are not represented in the firms , are not represented in our built communities. We are missing their perspective, voice and vision.

Can our readers follow you on social media?

Readers can follow Maydan Architects on Facebook at Maydan Architects, Inc. and on Instagram at @maydan_architects.

Mary Maydan of Maydan Architects: “They told me it was impossible and I did it anyway” was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Amber Dietz: “How One Can Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome”

Inner Mean Girl — We all have this inner mean girl that is telling us we cannot do something that is very loud in our thoughts. Every time the mean girl shows up, reframe the Impostor Syndrom to a positive belief or things you have done that make you qualified. Repeat positive affirmations out loud and often. The inner mean girl can be the #1 thing that holds us back, and this will quiet her down.

As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Amber Dietz.

Amber Dietz is a business & marketing strategist that helps the soul-preneur build a business, a brand, and their Instagram to become their own digital CEO. She has built a trusted business with authenticity by sharing her insights, growth, and scalable business tactics with her clients so that they can build a business from their passion. Living beautifully untamed and building a business doing it is the name of the game for Amber.

From a single mom to what seemed only to be a dream, to now helping others around the world take their passion from their soul and build a scalable business doing it, is what lights her up. She is an iced coffee enthusiast, she sees the world in bright colors, and will build you a road map of success so that your soul is set on fire.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?

I was raised by my father who was a single dad to 3 kids, so needless to say we didn’t have much growing up. As I got older, I thought that was how life had to be for me too, a constant struggle and always stressed as a single parent. One day as I sat in my cubicle job, dreading the day again, I thought there had to be more to life than a job I never wanted to go to, being stressed, and living by someone else’s rules. Although it sounded great to have a better life, I still didn’t know how to change things or if I was smart enough, deserving of, or even had the time to figure it out. But, in 2013 when I was only 29, I was told I had a rare condition that may give me only a few more months to live. The doctors made it clear that they could not guarantee that they could save my life so I had to write out my will and say goodbye to my 5-year-old son. I had to stay in the hospital for what could be my last month’s thinking about how I never lived out any of my dreams and the passions on my soul. I knew then, that if I made it out alive, I would chase the passion that lived in my soul. Once I had survived the odds, I began the journey of following what set my soul on fire. This began the journey of leaving the cubicle behind, traveling the world, and starting a business to help others bring their passion to the world.

Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?

There I sat alone in Munich Germany for business travel, a girl who had never been out of the US or hardly her home state. I had dreamed of traveling for work my whole life, but I thought there was no way it could happen to me. I was a single mom who had nothing, struggled for an awfully long time and so many limiting beliefs as to why I could never be anything more. And yet, there I was, smelling the fresh pretzels, the bubbly beer, and watching the crowds pass the enchanting castles in Munich. I had made it, I made it farther than even my dreams allowed me to have. I learned that you can do so much more than you even realize possible. That everything in the world is just waiting for you to show up and be the best version of yourself and when you do, the universe will serve you more than ever imaginable. I learned to never stop dreaming bigger and following that calling.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

Soul on fire was created not only to help entrepreneurs create a business, but to really craft something from you’re their soul. There is magic when you not only have a strategy but you are living a life always meant for you right from your soul passion. Business and income can be easy when you are doing what you are meant to do on this Earth. The root of this is from I will never forget about the doctors telling me that they could not guarantee they could save my life. That There is a chance I only had a few months to live and that gut wrenching feeling of how I was to fearful to live out what I wanted to do in this world. Because of this, Soul On Fire is not simply a guide on how to make a business, but the real depts of what makes life meaningful for each individual.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?

I will never forget Cheryl Calvo. When I finally decided to leave the cubicle I dreaded so much, I never knew meeting Cheryl was going to change my entire existence. At the time, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder and travel the world for work since that was not something I had ever done in my life. I began going to interview after interview and constantly being rejected. I started doubting I could actually chase this dream of being more. I got a call for what was my dream job at the time and Cheryl interviewed me. She was magnetic, bold, and didn’t care what anyone thought of her. We connected immediately, but I still doubted I could really get a job I had only dreamed of for years. Days later after the interview, Cheryl called and offered me the job. She was the first person to believe in me and give me a chance. For the next year, we went on business travel together and she showed me a world I never knew existed. She believed in me and took me under her wings and changed me to the person I am today. After an amazing year together, I got a message I will never forget. Cheryl had unexpectedly passed away in her sleep. Although Cheryl’s time on this Earth changed me in to the person I am today, I also didn’t know that going to her services would also change my life forever too. It was no surprise that hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects to her, but what shifted my perspective was how every single person at her service had a story. They had a story about how Cheryl changed their life. They didn’t just speak about how they knew her, they all had amazing stories of the amazing things she had done to impact them. This was a major moment for me as I realized that is what life was really about, how you impact someone else’s life. I will forever take on that mantra in Cheryl’s name.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?

You know that feeling when want to do something amazing, and immediately think ‘’Who in the world am I to do this?!’’ even when you have all the credentials or have done it a million times? This is Imposter Syndrome. It’s that voice inside your head that wants to keep you safe and makes you question what you are doing. No matter what stage you are at in your business, that voice can always jump in and remind you that they might find out you are an imposter. You can feel nervous, anxious, and as if at any moment someone is going to tell the whole world you are a fraud.

What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?

Impostor Syndrome will keep your passions and dreams inside of you forever. It will be that voice inside your head that says you cannot build that business or write that book. Unfortunately, so many will let that voice get so loud so that they never follow those dreams on their soul. They may start the business or begin creating, but once Impostor Syndrome rears it’s spiky head into our thoughts, that’s wear our passions get halted for years and sometimes forever.

How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?

Because Impostor Syndrome can make you feel anxious, and out of place, you may treat others with big ideas with the same kind of judgement as you are expecting to happen to you. You may question someone’s credentials or authority based off your own fear of being called a fruad.

We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?

There have been many times I have experienced this, but there was a time when I was sitting in a very elite fortune 500 conference room. There were CEO’s, executives, and big names sitting right next to me in that same room. I looked around at everyone who had high fashion clothing, & big titles. At that moment, the Impostor Syndrome rushed through me like a ton of bricks as I asked myself who was I to be in this room sitting next to these people? I thought someone was going to stand up tell everyone that I was once a broke single mom with nothing, and I was not qualified to be there. I edged to the end of my seat just waiting for that moment to happen the entire meeting. Every time I was asked a question, I thought ‘’this is it, they are going to tell me to get out. I knew I couldn’t do this!’’ Of course, as much as I thought about this every time I went to a big meeting, this never happened so I began to trust that I was meant to be there.

Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?

I don’t think it is a feeling that will go away 100% even when you reach the next level. I will still have moments where I question if someone is going to find out I shouldn’t be there. But, I have used a few techniques to help eliminate it. One thing I will do is write down all my accomplishments, and why I should be there with positive affirmations. This make me feel renewed and a reminder that I can do these things and I belong in that space. I will also use photos or videos on my phone as a visual reminder to myself of all the things that led me to where I am. It is a reminder that the only permission or credentials we need come from ourselves.

In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.

I use the I-S-H techniques (Imposter Syndrome Hacks)

1. Inner Mean Girl — We all have this inner mean girl that is telling us we cannot do something that is very loud in our thoughts. Every time the mean girl shows up, reframe the Impostor Syndrom to a positive belief or things you have done that make you qualified. Repeat positive affirmations out loud and often. The inner mean girl can be the #1 thing that holds us back, and this will quiet her down.

2. Fail Forward — Don’t be afraid to take the leap and fail. Action will always create clarity even if you feel like it is a fail. That fail will simply be a lesson and the more action you take, the less you will feel the Impostor Syndrome.

3. Your Tribe — You tribe of people that you surround yourself with personally and professionally make a big impact to moving past Impostor Syndrome. Even though your tribe may experience the exact same feelings, they can either hinder you or help you move past it. Set yourself with success over the fraud feeling with people that are also action takers and align with your vision.

4. Stick It- Grab a few sticky notes and write positive affirmation and your accomplishments as many places as possible. Remind yourself that you do deserve to be in that place and the more you remind yourself of this, the less you will have the inner mean girl show up telling you otherwise.

5. Soul-cial Proof — This step can be overlooked as we typically look for outward confirmations that we are allowed to do something. But, the permission that we are seeking that tells us we are not a fraud, simply comes from within. Sounds simple enough, but so many seek outward approval we don’t look internally. This will come from your soul, the inner work that reminds you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and there is no reason to doubt it.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I would empower a movement that allows anyone and everyone to follow that passion that lives deep with inside them so that they live with their soul on fire every day. Everyone would have the tools to do what they are meant for on this Earth so that there would be no more dreaded Monday’s or not feeling fulfilled. The movement would allow you to live a life of purpose and be less struggle and stress and more just being and making a living doing it.

We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂

I would love to dine with Marie Forleo! I would choose her because besides her amazing dance moves, she embodies the same vision I have for a movement of helping others see their unlimited potential. She was the first person that made me believe that I could be more in this world and led me down my journey to do just that. Besides being such an inspiration to this world, her epic humor, business tactics, and beautiful soul would make having a lunch with her magical.

How can our readers follow you on social media?

Follow me on Instagram at @soulonfireofficial and FB @soulonfire02

Website https://soul-onfire.com/

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

Amber Dietz: “How One Can Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome” was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Carla Williams Johnson of Carli Communications: They Told Me It Was Impossible And I Did It Anyway

Trust your gut. I’ll say every time…. I cannot tell you how many times I went against my own intuition and got myself in hot water. Listen to your instincts and allow that to lead you. Having the confidence and the desire to follow through will be much easier once you feel aligned and at peace with the decision you’ve made.

As a part of our series about “dreamers who ignored the naysayers and did what others said was impossible”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Carla Williams Johnson, CEO of Carli Communications LLC.

Known simply as Carli, she is extremely passionate about helping others and giving back, volunteering her time and skills wherever she can. When she’s not working, she can usually be found in the company of her adult daughter and infant son in the beautiful Caribbean twin island Republic of Trinidad & Tobago.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Can you tell us your ‘backstory’?

I just always knew that I wanted to get into the field. I think I was the only person in the world who would get excited when commercials would come on during a program or rush to get the latest magazine to see all the creative ways print ads were displayed. Even at a young age I was always in awe of creative executions and how absolutely brilliant one must be to convince someone to purchase from just a few words and an image.

As time went on, my passion grew and it landed me to work with some of the most prestigious advertising companies with global brands. It was there I learned that there was so much that went into the final product and I was finally part of the strategic process.

I realized that there was so much brainstorming and creativity that went into a single campaign and, working in media, I had the single most important job of getting that creativity out to the right people. Plus I noticed that the more innovative the approach, the more of an impact the campaign made, which resulted in increased sales.

Fast forward, now I have my own company where I help entrepreneurs and business owners increase their visibility through the creative and strategic uses of media.

In my years, the one thing I saw regularly that really upset me was businessmen and women being ill-advised by greedy coaches and consultants looking to make a quick buck. These ‘so called’ gurus would use the client’s lack of knowledge against them to sell them a product or service that made no sense and gave absolutely no returns on investment. That’s when my business was born.

I feel like a superhero sometimes, to be honest. Like I’m saving the day (and the dollar) of people who are in danger of wasting their money. On the surface, I help clients with promoting their business, but what I do is assist my people with finding the best and quickest ways to truly connect with their ideal clients so that they can serve them and, of course, make some money in the process.

Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Well I plan on taking the world by storm.

Seriously, with the current pandemic and literally everything else going on in the world, I am really focusing on helping others be a bit more strategic with their marketing plans.

Building brand awareness and standing out is the name of the game right now because it’s the businesses who are seen and heard that’ll be the ones that will undoubtedly be remembered. My goal is to show how to use the online space more effectively as well as encourage business owners to include publicity into their marketing mix to give their brand that extra edge. With everyone moving to the digital arena, getting featured will definitely add credibility to their brand and put them in front of their customers and ahead of the competition.

My vision is to help as many business owners as possible promote themselves in the right way to the right people and to make their lives better.

In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?

A colleague said to me: “I see everyone selling different things but I always consider you to be a true marketer because you’re the one who puts it all together.” That pretty much sums it all up honestly.

I see people selling all different aspects of marketing, whether it be Instagram tips, LinkedIn selling, copywriting, branding whatever……and all these things are great but what is the benefit to the recipient if they have no idea how to use it effectively or do not need it right now in their business. I like to look at marketing as a whole puzzle and advise persons what are the specific pieces they need to build their brand right now based on what they’d like to accomplish and what’s happening in the market right now…..and if that looks like me recommending them to someone else who can help them achieve those goals then so be it.

There are too many people out here looking to see how fast they can make a sale; driven by money instead of the desire of helping others. What sets me and my company apart is that I am the exact opposite. I believe the sale will come if my focus is giving value and helping others succeed.

Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?

I think we all as business owners have been put down or told that we wouldn’t make it at some point in our journey. What sets apart the successful entrepreneurs from the rest is what we do with that information.

When I first started on my journey, I was outright old my numerous people that I should

  • Forget my ‘stupid business venture’ because no one would take me seriously anyway
  • Why even bother, the industry is dominated by a certain type (aka white males)
  • Get someone ‘lighter skinned’ to be the face of my company if I’m ever going to succeed.

To get specific, I remember this one time that I was working with a group of entrepreneurs to produce what was supposed to be an event that would take all our businesses ‘to the next level’. The speaker of the event who happened to be a business coach started making demands of us which initially were fine but when she insisted that she AND HER HUSBAND (who was not a speaker but his expenses to attend the event needed to be paid as well) needed to be featured prominently to the top of the landing page, I pushed back. I stated that firstly, we compromised to place her at the top of the page granted she was not as well known to our target, and it was not her event but that she was a guest but I was totally against her husband being up there when he’s not even a featured speaker. Her response was a condescending “Well if you want to have a sold out event, you’ll need to have someone white featured………it’s just how things are……if you want to make it and be successful.” Then she added “I’m just telling you what worked for me…you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to…but this is what made me successful so if you want to sell tickets you should do it. ”

So basically, the color of my skin was directly related to my success or failure rather? What’s worse there were others who agreed with her……like this is some kind of unspoken rule that just needed to be accepted.

Well I washed my hands of that event, needless to say it never materialized, but I was determined to prove that the very thing people said would cause me to fail would be the very thing that will make me succeed!

In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong? 🙂

Well…. as I say to all my clients when they’re feeling anxious and nervous…….I channeled my inner Carli!

I got to work making connections, being brave and putting myself out there.

No more being timid or nervous about it.

I showed up anyway…. and the most amazing thing happened….the very thing that was supposed to support my failure as a business owner was the very things that propelled me forward. People loved my Trinidadian accent, my Caribbean life and did not see my skin color as negative. As a matter of fact, they wanted to know more about me, my business and my exotic life. Some people even commented on how smooth my skin looked.

Business began to soar and before long I was making regional and international connections, being mentioned in Forbes, BuzzFeed Huffington Post & Thrive Global, and of course, making money helping my clients. I’ve been asked to appear on television, featured on radio and in the press.

I’ve even been named one of the 99 Limit Breaking Female Founders, one of the top Marketers to follow for 2020 and recently nominated for the Media Innovator Awards 2020.

Not bad for someone who wasn’t supposed to make it.

Sometimes I think about what if I had listened…..what if I allowed these people and this one ‘so called’ business coach to derail my greatness?

I would have missed out on sooooo much but I want anyone who’s reading to know that you must silence these people and dare to dream and achieve those dreams in spite of what anyone says. There are people out there who need you.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

There are so many people who have helped me in so many ways, but I would have to say my best friend who has been cheering me on from day one! Odessa Laulys has been by my side and is literally my rock and really, she’s more than a friend, she’s my big sister. She’s been there for everything in business and in life and I have no idea what I would do without her.

Another person I must shout out is my good friend Marlena Cole. She’s a Relationship Coach and she actually reached out to me because she knew I could help her build her business. Little did we know at the time that such a close friendship would emerge. She saw in me what I was so afraid to see in myself and truly gave me the confidence to step out and do what I’m good at.

It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?

I’ve been pretty lucky to have a family and friends that believed in me from a young age. I think my earliest memory of resilience would have been when I started in corporate. The story that stands out to me is I was working an 8–4 job and was unhappy with where I was to the point of being physically ill, and under-appreciated at my job. I had since graduated to managerial position but I was just so miserable, particularly by the way I was treated.

One morning I was called in by the Human Resources Manager who informed me that my job was now redundant. So here I am after sacrificing to stay in a job I hated only to be told that I was no longer needed. But you know what…….it was the BEST news ever!! I felt as if a weight was lifted off my shoulders and was happier than I had ever been in a long time.

When I arrived at my next phase in life, I was a young single mother, with no job, no plan of action, no money, and no clue what to do. I was a bit scared, but a lot determined that I needed to get focused. I fell back on what I was good at and what had always made the companies I worked for successful. I started to meet people, expand my horizons, and make valuable connections.

Sometimes I made no money at all, sometimes I made just enough to cover my bills and there were days I cried long tears and almost lost it because I knew I was working hard.

This was the turning point for me, after all a marketer should be able to market her own business, right? I dusted myself off and took the rest of the year to plan my strategy and fall back into my marketing roots. I had to remember that people paid me to get them out of the rut I seemed to be in.

I revisited my strategy and in six weeks I was able to land a client who, without hesitation, paid me five figures.

Not only that, I was getting numerous calls for interviews and to be featured in local and international publications. Clients were calling, I was getting referred left, right and center and I created and sold my first online program.

I let go of all the fear, self-doubt, and less-than-stellar results of my first year as an entrepreneur, rose to the occasion and trusted in the Universe’s plan; but even deeper still; I wanted to prove others that I could do it!!…….AND I DID 🙂

Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)

  1. Ignore aka press the mute button. Seems hard at first but after a while it becomes much easier because you can spot the BS a mile away. There will be the ones who say you can’t do it to your face; there are are the ones who will wish you bad behind your back and still there will the ones who you thought would be there for you that will just disappear……..in spite of it all you just have to keep going, keep moving and understand that they are the problem. They are wishing that they could do what you are doing and that’s their burden, not yours. Silence them in your mind and keep moving forward.
  2. Community is key. Find a community of like-minded and ambitious persons to lean on when it all gets too much. Persons you can bounce ideas off of or can just give you that motivation to push through. Sometimes when I’m feeling stuck or depressed, I hop on a call with one of my business besties and I feel fully recharged. Having a community of people who have your back will ensure that none of that negativity even gets a chance to affect you….your people will keep you going.
  3. Believe in yourself and forget what others may or may not say. Think about it this way, you wouldn’t be in business if you didn’t know what you were talking about so think of yourself as the master of your industry and run with that feeling. You have what it takes to succeed; you absolutely have to believe that.
  4. Trust your gut. I’ll say every time…. I cannot tell you how many times I went against my own intuition and got myself in hot water. Listen to your instincts and allow that to lead you. Having the confidence and the desire to follow through will be much easier once you feel aligned and at peace with the decision you’ve made.
  5. Protect the asset. Negativity multiplies and you are the most powerful ingredient in your business and in your life and you’ve got to protect your mind. It will be harder for negative views to penetrate if you keep a positive space. Consider reducing contact with persons who are negative in general. That can look like unfriending and unfollowing persons on social media who spread negativity or generally makes you feel down or depressed; unsubscribing from mailing lists and reducing verbal conversations. Also consider cutting down the amount of news you consume daily. Replace with positive habits such as mediating and exercise. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel and how much harder it would be for anyone to even try to put you in a bad mood.

What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?

My absolute quote is from Maya Angelou

“I did then what I knew how to do.

Now that I know better, I do better.”

I live my life by this because it reminds me to never stop learning, growing and improving.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I honestly feel that men are ‘groomed’ (for lack of a better word) a particular way and therefore they are ‘expected’ to act and react in situations that can be really unhealthy for them and the people around them. Society still expects them to be a certain way which is counterproductive to how the world is progressing. If I could I would create a movement to address this because while women are becoming empowered, men are still being held to the same outdated stereotypes with their worth measured by an old-fashioned value system. I think helping these men unlearn some of the traits they were exposed to can truly help the world become a better, less violent place.

Can our readers follow you on social media?

Everyone is invited to ‘Keep up with Carli’ on social media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlicommunications

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carlicommunications/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carlicommunications/

Thank you for these great stories. We wish you only continued success!

Carla Williams Johnson of Carli Communications: They Told Me It Was Impossible And I Did It Anyway was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Author Dr. Karen Morley: 5 Things We Need To Do To Close The Gender Wage Gap

Men then, are more likely to get the more visible roles, the high-profile projects and line and operational management roles. Being more visible, it’s easier to believe they work harder and achieve more. Ergo, higher pay.

As part of my series about “the five things we need to do to close the gender wage gap” I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr Karen Morley.

Dr Morley is an authority on the benefits of gender balanced leadership and how to help women to succeed at work. She helps leaders understand the value of inclusive leadership to organisational as well as social outcomes. She is the author of Beat Gender Bias: How to play a better part in a more inclusive world; Lead like a Coach: How to Make the Most of Any Team; and Gender-Balanced Leadership: An Executive Guide.

Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us the “backstory” that brought you to this career path?

It was a while into my career before I noticed the difference that gender played in the ambition women could express, and the opportunities and rewards that came their way; I felt rather blind-sided when it did. Fairness was such a strong value and I couldn’t believe that there was such inequality at work. When it hit me, I became determined to change it. That was 30 years ago, and while I can see a lot of progress in that time, there is still plenty yet to do to achieve gender equality.

I’d begun my career working in an organization that had a female CEO and a very gender-balanced workforce. The respect paid to everyone regardless of gender was high; it was the way things were. I was a psychologist working with women and children experiencing domestic violence. It wasn’t all ‘kumbaya’; I knew the world wasn’t fair for many.

It was still a shock to move into a more corporate world and find that inequality was marked. I believed that as a professional woman with excellent credentials and a high-performance track record I would experience the same opportunities as the men around me, but that wasn’t the case.

In those still early career days I experienced setbacks and missed opportunities; I felt passed over for promotional roles, with vague feedback as to why. I was certainly aware of times when male colleagues doing the same work were being paid more than I was, and it was extremely difficult to raise the subject and have a satisfying discussion about it.

Since then, I’ve been committed to doing what I can to advance the careers of women and promote inclusion. I want to change the way we shape and experience the world of work. Work should be a place where talent and potential shine, where people are noticed and recognized because of what they can do, not what they look like: no-one should be held back due to their gender, sexuality, skin colour, handedness or any other feature. We should all have the opportunity to rise to be our best!

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began this career?

The most interesting and moving story in my first couple of years of working was helping a client who was subjected to domestic violence not just free herself from that violence, but go on to make a successful career for herself. It was also when I appreciated the full impact of extreme gender-based inequality and its nasty ugliness.

Assault, emotional blackmail and financial abuse by my client’s partner, whom she was attempting to leave, took a sickening turn when he ram-raided her car, threatening both hers and their child’s lives. What followed was days and weeks of creating a new identity, setting up a whole new life for her and her family, so that she could free herself from the violence. It was exhausting for me, so very much worse for her. She had to give up a great deal, including her name and her home.

The story has a beautiful ending. After a couple of years she was free of the violence, had completed her degree, loved her new home, had happy children and had become an eloquent spokesperson against domestic violence.

She was then living the life that she’d dreamed of and yet not felt was possible. To see her success and confidence was inspiring, and has remained with me.

Gender pay equity might not be at this extreme end of the spectrum yet violence towards women and unequal pay have their roots in the same set of beliefs; women are supporters, possessions, inferior to men.

Can you share a story about the funniest or most interesting mistake you made when you were first starting?

I think that the most interesting mistake that I made, and kept making for a while, was to believe that I wasn’t making gender-biased decisions too. That bias was something that (some) men did to women. That those who were biased were intentionally so. Sometimes that is what’s happening. But more often than not, bias happens outside of our conscious awareness; it’s accidental not intentional.

I’ll share an embarrassing example. I was walking along an airport concourse and saw two pilots, one female and the other male. There was a significant height difference between them. What flashed into my mind was: ‘She can’t be a pilot, she’s not strong enough.’

Whoa! I had to quickly apply the brakes to this automatic judgement — I made the judgement before I was aware I was making it and I most certainly didn’t agree with it. Still, I made it.

About 75 per cent of us use traditional gender roles when we make decisions — they are out of sight, but not out of mind. I know I do, so that means I can — usually — catch myself in the act. Unconscious bias isn’t something that men do to women. It is based on expectations that are unknowingly held by men and women.

Becoming aware of the impact of unconscious attitudes on choices and decisions was the biggest turning point in how I approached gender bias and inclusion. Once I learnt about this and understood how it worked in action, I was able to take a ‘lighter’ approach to helping people understand what bias is and how they can minimize it. Because we don’t mean to do it, if we discover we do, we’re usually motivated to change. We want the decisions we’re actually making to be the decisions we believe we’re making. Inconsistency spurs us towards change.

Even now, as such a strong advocate for gender inclusion, I have to keep reminding myself that I may be making biased decisions, and to remain vigilant in my decision making.

Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

The key lesson I’ve learned is that change is always possible. There’s no point getting caught up in the change we haven’t made, it’s always about what change can we make.

And I can’t make other people change their beliefs systems, but the thing that I can do is to help people understand how their beliefs work. Insight then may lead to motivation to consider our beliefs and to possibly change them. And that’s the only way to get change — people willingly identify the change they want to make, and then they go about it.

There’s another lesson that I’ve learned from my experiences that I’ll add to this one. When I was growing up I thought that I lived a pretty boring life. In my teen years life felt suburban, safe, normal; boring.

The experiences with my client above led to a massive turnabout in my thinking. I am now able to look back on my childhood and teen years as providing me with such a solid sense of who I am. I was safe from harm. I’d not seen it then as a privilege, but now I certainly do. I’ve lived an ordinary life, which is an immense privilege and I am extremely grateful for it.

Ok let’s jump to the main focus of our interview. Even in 2019, women still earn about 80 cents for every dollar a man makes. Can you explain three of the main factors that are causing the wage gap?

The overarching factor is that traditionally, we expect women to be warm, kind, gentle, and understanding while we expect men to be tough, competitive, assertive and competent. We associate women with nurturing, support and lower status roles while we associate men with power, authority and higher status. We like women and respect men. While these are traditional views, and some of us don’t like them much, they persist. They’re sticky stereotypes.

We don’t have to agree with these gender-based expectations for them to affect our decisions. Nobel prizewinning psychologist Daniel Kahneman has alerted us to the fact that our brains work on two very different levels, ‘fast’ and ‘slow’. While we believe that we know what we are thinking, we often don’t. Most of our ‘mental work’ occurs in the fast lane of intuitions and impressions. Most decisions are made without awareness.

A hefty part of the gender bias problem is that it’s not always possible to know when you’ve made a decision, let alone whether it was fair or biased. That’s a big problem when we’re working out what to pay people.

It’s one thing to make decisions and not know it. It’s even worse to make decisions you don’t know you’re making and not agree with them. See my pilot story above.

Bias hinders women’s progress in organizations in these key ways:

1. You can’t be what you can’t see. Affinity bias means that we like people who are just like us and are more influenced by people who are similar rather than different. This can have a significant impact on career choices. If I can see ‘people like me’ in a particular career or job role, I’ll choose that path. If I can’t, I won’t.

What that means is that there are fewer women in senior, decision-making roles — that’s where pay decisions get made. It also means that homogeneous groups of people generally make poorer decisions — they deliberate less, they ‘think they know’, they don’t question or challenge their thinking. With little diversity and no particular attention paid to bias, it’s not surprising that women get less pay than men.

2. You’re damned if you do and doomed if you don’t. Women’s progress is limited by expectancy bias. Women are commonly ‘demoted’ to roles that are in keeping with traditional expectations. Female doctors are often mistaken for nurses, female lawyers for paralegals. We do not expect women to hold senior roles, despite the fact that, increasingly, they do.

Women, even very senior ones, are still expected to do the ‘office housework’. When a man offers to help with these tasks, we praise him for his contribution. His help is less expected and more visible. If a woman declines to help, she faces backlash; she’s selfish. When a man says no, there’s no similar backlash; he’s busy. The time that women spend helping others penalizes them by taking them away from progressing their own careers.

Men then, are more likely to get the more visible roles, the high-profile projects and line and operational management roles. Being more visible, it’s easier to believe they work harder and achieve more. Ergo, higher pay.

What you see is not what you get.

This plays out in pay through two biases; confirmation and certainty.

Competence is how good you are at something. Confidence is how good you think you are at something. How accurate are people at assessing their own competence? Not very; men are much more likely to over-rate themselves than women are. If a man says he’s got what it takes and a woman says she’s not sure she has, he’s more likely to be chosen, but she’s more likely to be the better candidate.

‘Confidence’ creates a bind for women. It contradicts the female stereotype of women as supporters not leaders; submissive, kind and caring. If women conform to the stereotype, they’re not suitable leadership material. Yet when they act with confidence, they are penalized for being ‘more manly than the men’. This is confirmation bias at play.

Norms about masculine behaviour and its fit with leadership are barriers to women. They cause women to moderate their own expectations and guide decision makers’ choices about leadership potential, ability and reward.

Expressing confidence in your own leadership capability is an almost guaranteed entrée to the high potential track. Is it as important as we think it is? No.

Leaders who appear confident, regardless of their competence, can be very convincing. We are more likely to believe they have leadership potential. We prefer to listen to them than to someone who expresses doubts or identifies gaps, even if they are voicing those concerns because they are confident. We mistake doubt for a lack of confidence, and therefore a lack of leadership.

For women to be seen as influential leadership material, they need to be seen as confident and competent (masculine norms) as well as caring (a female norm). Men need to be seen only as confident. While they remain, these masculine norms for leadership set a much higher barrier to entry for women. Rather than expect women to become more confident, we should downplay the primacy given to confidence, and instead prioritize competence.

The more certain we are, the more likely we are to make biased decisions. Certainty bias means that we tend to think that our decisions are much better than they are; we tend to dismiss the possibility that we are biased. Frustratingly, because biases operate unconsciously, it’s hard to know when we are in their grip. Getting proof is tricky, and happens in retrospect, if at all.

There are good tools available for organizations to systematically reduce the impact of masculine norms on leader identification. Yet they are not used as much as they should be. Seventy-five per cent of HR leaders from top global companies say that the subjective opinion of the person’s boss is the most common way to identify leadership potential. Given the potential for affinity bias, that is, to choose people most like ourselves, this is as flawed as self-assessment.

And certainty bias is more likely, not less, when organizations promote merit as a cultural value. Leaders tend to believe that their decisions are impartial. They invest less effort in avoiding stereotypes, creating a paradox of meritocracy. Researchers Castilla and Benard have found that when organizations promote themselves as meritocracies they pay men more than women despite identical performance ratings.

Whether you know you are biased matters less than accepting that you are likely to be biased. We could all do with being more modest, less certain, about our decisions. That’s a great way to do the broader groundwork for equality.

These biases all spill over into pay — many pay decisions are not made on the basis of objective measures, but on the basis of affinity, expectancy, confirmation and certainty biases.

Can you share with our readers what your work is doing to help close the gender wage gap?

I’m working with senior leaders, men and women to make the impact of unconscious bias more transparent. The more we know about how it works and how it impacts decisions like performance ratings, allocation of projects and pay, the better.

One of the things that I’m particularly passionate about is finding ways that we can speak more collegiately, openly and candidly about the different ways that men and women experience work, the relative ease or difficulty they have in progressing their careers. If we can notice it, and talk about it, we’re on the path to rectifying the problem.

If we are oblivious, argue and disagree, we can’t make progress.

Conversations about gender and bias can be contentious. Nobody wants to see themselves as biased, as flawed. And while most of us mean well, that doesn’t mean that we have the conversations that we need to have or that the conversations go as we would like them to.

I’m encouraging leaders to face into the difficult conversations and have them rather than avoid them. We need to give up the idea that we can have the perfect conversation, the idea that this conversation will be the one to fix everything. Instead, those interested in more inclusion and better decisions can use their motivation to increase the number of positive conversations they have.

We can stop feeling like we’re walking on eggshells, look at the data, make the facts transparent and that will go a long way to equalizing opportunities and rewards.

Can you recommend 5 things that need to be done on a broader societal level to close the gender wage gap. Please share a story or example for each.

1. Become more aware of your own potential for bias.

At the most personal level, I recommend that people get curious about themselves and their own potential for bias. You can do a quick online assessment of your unconscious attitudes at https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/. About 75% of us have traditional gender associations and this is what can lead us into biased decision making.

When I conduct training on inclusion, I usually ask people to complete this before we start. There is always a really interesting discussion as people consider the idea that they have attitudes they’re not aware of. Women in particular find it confronting; perhaps we have the bias that it’s men who are biased, but if anything, the data shows that women are more likely to hold these traditional attitudes unconsciously. Women are less likely to have these as conscious attitudes — the ones they know about — so it’s intriguing to explore the interplay.

You can always try the story that’s used a lot in diversity training as a way to bring the unconscious to life. This is the story of the boy who has a terrible car accident in which his father dies. He’s taken to hospital and the surgeon says I can’t operate on him, he’s my son. Who’s the surgeon? I’ll leave that with you…..

The point of becoming more aware is that if you become more attuned to the possibility of bias, you are more likely to notice it. If you notice it, you can then make a choice about what to do about the bias.

2. Make it safe for people to share their views.

Attitudes and beliefs are contentious, and we are all entitled to what we believe. If people don’t feel this level of respect, conversations about gender beliefs and pay are too much of a struggle.

To set up a safe way to have these conversations, encourage people to be curious, ask ‘what can we learn?’. Encourage candour. When we’re dealing with contentious issues, it’s really important that people feel that they can say what they think without reprisals. We need to be able to name the elephant in the room. It’s better to know than not to. If people feel they have to suppress their true beliefs, they won’t tell you what they think. The bigger downside of this is that suppressing beliefs actually increases them. It’s counterintuitive I know, but if we ignore biases they have a bigger effect.

I was asked to ‘coach’ a senior male executive whose CEO considered him to be a ‘resistor’ to his gender diversity strategy. The executive started our conversation on the defensive, yet when I made it clear that I wasn’t going to tell him what to do and instead asked him, with curiosity, about his own experience of diversity, he told an amazing, positive story. Over time he went on to repeat that story to peers and colleagues and has since become known as a champion of gender diversity. What was the difference? For him, being guided by his own experience, and locating the value of diversity in that experience. It was also not about imposing a strategy on him; he felt like he would be saddled with targets that he wouldn’t be able to meet, affecting both his sense of status and self-esteem.

3. Be an ally

It can be threatening for people who feel excluded to speak up about their experiences, or their different needs. When women ‘raise the gender card’ they may well be greeted by eyerolling. Women may be reluctant or not know how to take action if they believe they are not being paid fairly.

With allies around you, it’s easier to speak up about different experiences. Allies share information that they have access to. Allies notice when someone’s anxious or upset and ask why. It’s much easier for someone who feels annoyed, threatened or unsafe to reach out to an ally.

Being an ally means that you are proactive in your support, and you call injustice out when you see it. By being an ally, you reduce bias. You show people that support counts. You show people that it’s safe to speak up about concerns and questions about identity and opportunity. You make inclusion matter.

Everyone in every conversation can make a contribution to supporting others. You can notice when others don’t get a turn, when they are talked over, when they don’t feel safe, or seem frustrated by not ‘being heard’.

Jasmine’s story is a good example. She was feeling more and more uncomfortable when she walked into the tearoom. Several times she’d interrupted conversations in which women’s bodies were being derided. It was clearly inappropriate. There were a couple of senior managers involved in the conversations. As a relatively junior staff member, Jasmine just wasn’t sure what to do about it. She felt embarrassed both by the topic, and by walking into the room in the middle of such conversations. She raised it with her team leader, John, who then raised the concern with the senior leaders. They claimed to be “just joking” and saw it as “harmless fun”. John disagreed with them and called them out for their inappropriate behaviour.

It was David Morrison as Lieutenant General of the Australian Army who popularized the saying “The standard you walk past is the standard you accept”. Let it go by once, and that gives permission to repeat these behaviours and for others to join in. Be an ally, call it out, and you can help make work experiences more inclusive.

4. Make people decision-making transparent

Given that many critical decisions, such as performance evaluations, leadership potential assessment and pay are often made without much recourse to data, that’s an important gap to fill. And the more transparency there is, the fairer decisions become.

If there are clear criteria for people decisions, the right measures can be developed to help make the decisions. Holding managers accountable for making fair decisions puts responsibility on them to do so. Their decisions can then be assessed for their fairness and support, and advice provided to rectify inequities. When such decisions are openly reviewed for fairness, again, the evidence is clear that fairness does increase.

Marc Benioff, CEO of Salesforce, pledged to create equal pay. He thought that it was equal, until he saw the data, that showed a 6% inequity in salaries. Two years later, they did the same review, after company acquisitions and salaries again had to be adjusted. As Benioff says, all CEOs have to do is press a button and they get the data. Measures are important and continuing to pay attention to them over time is equally important.

5. Advocate for inclusion

As humans, we have traditionally related to each other based on how similar or different we are. People are categorized as either ‘like me’ or ‘other’. This may have had advantages in the past. We now live lives that are highly interconnected and the social boundaries and role ascriptions that served us in the past no longer serve us. Diverse groups are of much greater importance to our future, which is exciting.

Inclusion promotes appreciation of different perspectives. When people feel a sense of belonging and that their uniqueness is recognized, they are more engaged. That is when the collective intelligence of a group to perform and innovate is more likely.

As an advocate you can:

  • Engage people to create their own solutions to inequities.
  • Work with volunteers and use curiosity as a key hook.
  • Increase contact and connection between under-represented groups and ensure that they work together; this minimizes status differences and focuses on work and learning.
  • Make responsibilities transparent and make people accountable for their actions — this will tap into their desire to look good to others.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

Check your privilege. There’s a strange psychology of privilege that works like this: when we see group disadvantage, we tend to minimize the group’s disadvantage and play up our own.

We fear that others will see our privilege as unearned and in a sense, we dissociate ourselves from it. For example, people who use family connections to get a job don’t see that as advantage; they believe that they have won the job on merit. When they hear of others who used family connections to get a job, they see them as benefiting from advantage and judge them as less qualified.

The rules applied to others’ behaviour are different from the rules we apply to our own.

If we reflect on the privilege that we hold as part of a dominant group, such as men or whites, then we are less likely to minimize our advantage. We can reflect and remind ourselves of our values (for example, fairness) or we can reflect on our personal successes.

Checking your privilege means reflecting on the ways that you may have relative advantage in your workplace.

Metaphorically give yourself a pat on the back for what you have achieved, and it will be easier to see the disadvantage that others face. You might believe that others around you would also benefit from checking their privilege. Give them a pat on the back for what they have achieved. Then talk to them about group advantage and disadvantage. They will be more likely to appreciate their personal advantage and be more open to seeing the disadvantages that others face. If they can check their privilege, they are more likely to notice the disadvantage, and then they can act on it too.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Gloria Steinem’s ‘There’s no greater gift than thinking you had some impact on the world, for the better’ has been a guiding philosophy. I can be better, enjoy my life more and feel satisfied in my achievements if I can make a positive difference to others’ lives.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂

The person that I would most like to have a private meal with would be Jacinda Ardern, Prime Minister of New Zealand. Her leadership style, particularly through the coronavirus crisis, has been noted by many. She stands out as a beacon for gender-inclusive leadership. I hope that her role-modelling encourages many younger women to consider pursuing careers in non-traditional areas, and younger men to consider different ways of leading. And all of us to lead with greater compassion. She’s showing the world that our notions of gender are outdated, and it’s a pleasure to see her in action.

This was really meaningful! Thank you so much for your time.

Author Dr. Karen Morley: 5 Things We Need To Do To Close The Gender Wage Gap was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.