I believe starting a career as travel blogger or anyway within the social media influencing industry is not just a choice to take from one day to another, you need to be ready to fight to be recognized between million of users. So I did, I started to invest in my personal development, following social media courses online, investing in camera equipment and improving my skills to build up a strong relationship with each follower.
As part of my series about “developments in the travel industry over the next five years”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Francesco Mancini. Francesco is an Italian travel blogger & founder of travel company Lux Travel Official.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was working 9–5 every week in London and even though I really liked my job i was not happy with my lifestyle. It was a very stressful day and I started to think that London was not my place, i missed to much the hot summer and the freedom of moving around without public transports. So I thought I will quit my job and start travel no stop making this passion my work. Thanks to my passion for photography and digital I’ve stepped in the influencer’s world and started to learn more about it.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I’ve just started sharing my adventures on Instagram and discovered that people and brands really liked the content, so i thought to start reach out tourism boards and luxury resorts to collaborate. Sent over hundreds email in one day and the day after my inbox was full of responses. The extraordinary thing was that I’ve managed to stay for free for over 2 months and half in Southeast Asia in amazing 5* luxury resorts and hotel. I was so happy that day and i couldn’t believe that i would be able to travel for free.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Certainly the “funniest” mistake was to accept over hundreds collaboration with brands or resort in exchange of contents. I was overloaded of work and didn’t really have time for myself. I definitely learnt that I had to schedule better my work and especially try to sell my work more than give it for free.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Whatever I do, I’m doing it with passion and I always work hard to get the best results and to provide to my clients the greatest service. These days you need to be kind of unique if you want to impress your clients and so i do. It happened few times that i started a work relationship with a hotel or resort and I’ve became part of a family.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”? Can you share a story about that?
The strongest advise is to consider how much time and passion they are going to dedicate to this work. It’s more than a full time job, building up a community requires a lot of energy, investment in personal growth and dedication. I believe starting a career as travel blogger or anyway within the social media influencing industry is not just a choice to take from one day to another, you need to be ready to fight to be recognized between million of users. So I did, I started to invest in my personal development, following social media courses online, investing in camera equipment and improving my skills to build up a strong relationship with each follower.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I need to be thankful toward my family, my parents always believed in me especially when things were not going right. In these moments I always felt that they were there ready to support me and to push me to win difficulties along the path.
Let’s jump to the core of our discussion. Can you share with our readers about the innovations that you are bringing to the travel and hospitality industries?
Lux Travel Official is an innovative way to travel because we are not just providing exclusive accommodations and itinerary, we are taking care of our clients h24 from the time of inquire to when the return from their trip. We like to be there next to each of our clients and be available for any question the may have. Finally our VIP services which are an extra inclusion to each trip, how many of you wished to have a personal photographer which create beautiful memories about your vacation? We love to take picture and create beautiful albums for you. last not least we provide also the opportunity to follow master-classes about how to become a digital nomad and how to level up your lifestyle, everything in one unique trip.
Which “pain point” are you trying to address by introducing this innovation?
Certainly, we’d like to take off worry from organizing every single detail of a complex journey for our clients. Now days with the multiple options available is becoming harder to pick the right one, that’s why we are helping our clients and letting them to feel relaxed and worry free from organizing their best vacations.
Can you share 5 examples of how travel and hospitality companies will be adjusting over the next five years to the new ways that consumers like to travel?
1. They will review their refund and exchange policy, too many people have been loosing their money or didn’t get the opportunity to change their vacations. This brought a lot of bad feedback to many businesses. Tourism lives with reviews of clients and therefore this for sure will change.
2. The hygiene regulations will be more restrict, guests need to feel safe to travel.
3. Travel restrictions for certain countries will be adjusted accordingly with the virus report. At least until we will have a vaccine.
4. Travel will be a luxury thing. In fact the cost of traveling will be higher since less people will be traveling this year and the cost for health and safety is increased due the plenty of regulations to respect.
5. Guests will look for more privacy and therefore B&B or small/boutique hotel will probably have more requests to accommodate than large chain.
You are a “travel insider”. How would you describe your “perfect vacation experience”?
There is one thing that I always look in each trip and this is to be exclusive. I believe the perfect vacation experience is when you feel that the location, the service and anything else is an exclusive thing made for you.
Can you share with our readers how have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Since i started my career as travel influencer, I’ve always tried to inspire people and to motivate my followers to believe in themselves and to take always the opportunity to do whatever they think is going to change their lives or improve it. I’m myself a dreamer but also a very ambitious person. Saying that I’ve got a lot of people messaging me everyday to get inspired to improve their present and future.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Certainly i would say: live moments not things… one of the things that really changed me was dedicating time to appreciate moments and not material things. Doesn’t matter if i was broken or i had the most expensive camera, the most beautiful things where like enjoying a sunset or meet locals in the rice fields. I think the world would be a better place if we stop thinking about money or appearances and care more about feelings and memories.
Darla DeMorrow of HeartWork Organizing: 5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy
Eliminate clutter. Clutter isn’t just excess stuff, it’s stuff that makes you feel stuck. You don’t have to be a minimalist to live in an organized home. When your home is organized, you can appreciate everything in it more clearly. Too many people feel cluttered, but get stuck on the very first step of really owning their space. The first step is just to start moving things in order to get and stay organized. The SORT and Succeed system is just five simple steps to get organized. You can use them in every space in your home. Step 1 is to get started on organizing. Step 2 is to organize things into groups of similar items. Step 3 is to reduce, release, and then rest your space. Step 4 is to keep tweaking, keep making small changes that really work for you specifically. Step 5 is to succeed and celebrate with a reward that you’ve chosen for your efforts. That reward, which can be almost anything, trains your brain for the next organizing project.
As part of my series on the “5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Darla DeMorrow.
Darla DeMorrow is a certified professional organizer (CPO®), certified photo organizer, decorator, speaker, and founder of HeartWork Organizing, LLC, based in Wayne, PA. Her mission is to help people achieve a sense of peace and purpose. The author of several inspiring books on getting organized, her newest is “The Upbeat, Organized Home Office.” Darla is a certified photo organizer with The Photo Managers, and a certified Evernote consultant. She is constantly honing her skills to provide her clients the best in organizing and design. To learn more, visit www.HeartWorkOrg.com.
Thank you so much for joining us in this series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit more about you. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I’ll tell you a story about why I came to this so late in life. I was told from my school days onward that I wasn’t creative, meaning that I didn’t draw, sing or dance very well. What people didn’t know about me is that I solve problems really, really well. Guess what? You can train yourself to learn color mixing, spatial relationships, and fashion trends. But if you can’t solve a client’s problem? Well, that’s where creativity really matters. Don’t ever count yourself out of your passions, and don’t let anyone ever define for you what you are or aren’t.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
You know those local charity auctions that every community holds? In my first year of business I donated my services to an organization that was important to me. At the luncheon event, some men bid on my donation as a joke. They thought it was the funniest auction package ever, and their words were unkind. Who would ever need such a thing? I took it really hard. I was embarrassed in front of my friends at the charity. But it all turned out for good when the wife of the highest bidder called me gushing about what her husband bought her. She was thrilled to get exactly what she wanted, even if he didn’t realize what he had won. I gained a great client and validation that I need to be very, very careful about whose voice I let inside my head.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
Every project I’m working on is exciting. Ask me who my favorite client is, and I always say that they’re all my favorites! But I do have a favorite type of project: the room that seems beyond hope. When a client feels like they are too cluttered, or they think the room is too small, too ugly, too whatever, I know that a new design can not only change their space, but can very often change their life!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
There are quite a few mantras that I live by. Mean people suck. Live by the Golden Rule. This, too, shall pass. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. But in business, when I hear negative thoughts in my head, I always think, “Why not me?” I don’t care one bit about fame or popularity, but if there is a need, if someone else is offering a service, then why not me?
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I think a lot about people who are quietly helping others all the time, like people who have helped me. They usually don’t even know they are doing it, and they aren’t always formal teachers or great experts. I don’t follow a lot of gurus. Sometimes I learn the most from people who are just three steps ahead of me on their own journey, not the experts who are 300 steps ahead of me. Sometimes it’s easier to learn from those people who are closer and seem more accessible than the rock stars in your orbit.
Thank you for that. Here is the main question of our discussion. What are your “5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
Start with your focal point in each space in your home. A focal point can be part of the architecture like a beautiful bay window showcasing a great landscape, or it can be a design element that you introduce like a bold, blue velvet sofa. When there is something special about a room, something that just makes you smile, you know you’ve created a special place.
Go with your gut. If you do love something, love it to the point of feeling it in the pit of your stomach, then listen to that little voice inside you. People know what they love, even if they don’t know quite how to incorporate it into their homes yet. Imagine yourself leaving that one-of-a-kind find at the store, and if it feels like you are leaving one of your children behind, then seriously consider bringing it home, even if it’s a crazy color, size, or finish. Listen to your heart. If your heart really sings, then bring your treasure home. Work with your designer to turn an oddball find into the focal point of your design.
Know when to splurge and when to save. There can be great joy in knowing that one of your favorite things about your home is the great deal that you got on part of your design. It’s not particularly hard to spend money on design. Going over budget doesn’t take talent. But when you live in your home and see your project as a whole, the elements where you saved should balance out the must-have splurges. The best stories about your favorite trash-to-treasure pieces or that time you negotiated hard for that antique and then painted it screaming yellow — those are the stories that bring life to your room.
Eliminate clutter. Clutter isn’t just excess stuff, it’s stuff that makes you feel stuck. You don’t have to be a minimalist to live in an organized home. When your home is organized, you can appreciate everything in it more clearly. Too many people feel cluttered, but get stuck on the very first step of really owning their space. The first step is just to start moving things in order to get and stay organized. The SORT and Succeed system is just five simple steps to get organized. You can use them in every space in your home. Step 1 is to get started on organizing. Step 2 is to organize things into groups of similar items. Step 3 is to reduce, release, and then rest your space. Step 4 is to keep tweaking, keep making small changes that really work for you specifically. Step 5 is to succeed and celebrate with a reward that you’ve chosen for your efforts. That reward, which can be almost anything, trains your brain for the next organizing project.
Light fixtures are jewelry for the home. Freshen up the lighting in your home. Lighting is everything. Without it, colors are meaningless. Lighting affects our safety, our mood, our perception of size and space. Artificial lighting has undergone a quiet revolution in the last decade, becoming more energy efficient, portable, affordable, flexible, and beautiful. Switch out a light fixture. Add accent lighting under cabinets or uplights in dark corners. Replace overhead fixtures. Add landscape lighting. Play with lightbulb color profiles. Add dimmers in high-use rooms. There are so many subtle changes that lighting updates can do for your home. You’ll be overjoyed with the results of your “lightbulb moment.”
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
My movement would be simple: make sure every man woman and child has a safe, decent affordable home. Housing is one of our most basic needs. Houses aren’t just places where we live. If they are safe, decent, and affordable, they are everything to the children and families who inhabit them.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become fascinated by the women in public service. It boggles the mind that these women would seek relatively poorly paid positions to do the most good for the most people not by just joining the game, but by literally redrawing the playing field. It may be cliché in an election year, but I’d love to ask Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and Kamala Harris how they can see the ugly underbelly of some of the worst parts of our public systems and still work to improve life for an entire nation every single day. How do they never have a bad day?
How can our readers follow you on social media?
HeartWorkOrg.com is still the best way to get my attention, either by emailing directly to me, reading weekly articles, or jumping on social media platforms from there.
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational!
Delegate unimportant tasks, but never delegate hiring. Try to interview every single person on your team until you no longer have the time to, but it is the single most important thing you can do is to personally find good people to support your mission.
As a part of our series about strong women leaders, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kathy Kuo.
Kathy is the founder and CEO of Kathy Kuo Home, a recognized TV personality, and a celebrated interior designer. Published in the press as an international guru within the home and lifestyle space, Kathy has an unmatched eye for curating, sourcing and designing luxury furniture and homewares. Today, she continues to develop one of the fastest growing online platforms in the home and design industry.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
My family moved a lot throughout my childhood. Everywhere we went, I was able to decorate my bedroom and create a new space, integrating new meaningful objects from my travels; this really instilled both an appreciation for good design and love for unique high quality products. This passion led me to RISD, where I majored in Industrial Design, and later into the television industry with appearances on home renovation shows. After that, I worked designing and developing furniture and textiles for a luxury importer, but that was during the recession and I was laid off. That was when the idea of Kathy Kuo Home came to me. I continued to work and landed jobs with fantastic home brands like Bed Bath & Beyond and Assouline, so I continued to learn about the home space while I spent my free time building a brand I believed in.
At the time, around 2007, there were very few websites that featured an assortment of well-made home products. Being in the home space, I knew of so many great product vendors and designers, but it was so difficult for the average consumer to find them and sort through individual sites to find what they were looking for; there was a need for a single online platform that provided an assortment of high quality home decor and furnishings, for a range of styles.
From there, as we started operating the e-commerce concept, we noticed that those who were coming to us for items were already in the design cycle but didn’t know exactly what they needed or how their products would work in their space. With a business like apparel, you know your style, your size, and that there are easy product returns, but the home business is different and very relational — it depends on what other items you have and the layout of your space, with minimal room for error. However, if you could talk to a designer that would support and guide you through the process, you could have a seamless shopping experience. With that understanding, we provided a very intensive and curated professional interior design and product training to our customer service experts, to give them the tools they need to be true design experts for our customers.
When we introduced our Design Services, in-house design experts that are available 24/7 to help our customers and clients create a space they love, Kathy Kuo Home became what it is today. Now, we are a project-based retailer; although we do sell individual pieces from our site, we mostly operate by designing full-scale rooms and sometimes even entire homes. Now, Kathy Kuo Home is a one-stop shop for all your interior design and home furnishings needs.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
COVID. When the pandemic hit, everyone felt helpless and, in turn, looked to find ways to be helpful and support one another. Like many others, my team had to quickly transition to being fully remote, which was quite a change from our close-knit office environment. The experience really forced us to reevaluate how we were operating and adjust to this new way of life — figuring out how we can manage our teams better, communicate more effectively, streamline internal processes, and trust in one another. The new workspace structure pushed us to accelerate our business goals and ideals more than ever before.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When I first built the Kathy Kuo Home website, I designed every page in Illustrator, every button and detail, everything exactly how I wanted it. When I shared it with my developer, he told me that I wanted a full custom site — I didn’t even know what that meant!
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I used to believe that I could build this brand on my own, but I quickly realized that’s myopic, and frankly ego-driven. At the end of the day, the business and idea that you’re trying to build is greater than yourself, and you need to put aside feeling comfortable and do what’s best for the business.
I have had a few great mentors, including other female executives like Serena Dugan of Serena and Lily and Michelle Newbury (former CEO and CFO of TheMine.com a Lowes company), and tech entrepreneur, Brian Chesky (CEO and Co-Founder Airbnb). Brian and I both studied Industrial Design at RISD together, and both launched technology companies in the home space around the same time.
Although I have learned so much from each one of them, I’d say the greatest gift has been their ongoing belief in me, even when I was losing it in myself. Their confidence and support really encouraged me through the toughest of times, and I have so much gratitude for my mentors and friends.
In my work, I often talk about how to release and relieve stress. As a busy leader, what do you do to prepare your mind and body before a stressful or high stakes meeting, talk, or decision? Can you share a story or some examples?
I work out every day, even if it’s only for 15–20 minutes. I’m a single mother of two, and I run a company without co-founders or executives at the moment. I think it’s important to take some time every day for yourself, to clear your mind, and in turn that allows you to better trust your gut. One of my superpowers is my deep intuition — I think I have a great read on people, processes, and business trends — so it’s important to me to feel clear, so I can operate to my fullest.
Also, before high stakes meetings or talks, I do a lot of preparation. I like to know who I’m working with and what drives them before we meet. I research their story prior to the meet, and then transcribe every conversion I have and make sure to follow up immediately, since timing is so crucial in business decisions.
As you know, the United States is currently facing a very important self-reckoning about race, diversity, equality and inclusion. This may be obvious to you, but it will be helpful to spell this out. Can you articulate to our readers a few reasons why it is so important for a business or organization to have a diverse executive team?
Diversity and inclusion is the key to growth for a creative team like ours. As a founder and CEO who is also a designer and a creative, I often talk to my team about how we can best design our organization and our future. For us to truly have a creative organization from the ground up, we need to have a diverse executive team from the top down, with a mix of voices, ideas, and experiences. It’s imperative to foster a leadership team that fully understands how individual perspectives shape us as people, as creatives, and ultimately as a brand that can speak to all.
As a business leader, can you please share a few steps we must take to truly create an inclusive, representative, and equitable society? Kindly share a story or example for each.
It’s important to institutionalize diversity and inclusion as early on in your business as possible. If you work hard to build a diverse team from the beginning, you’ll immediately recognize how a mix of distinct voices leads to better discussions and better business decisions for everyone.
The next step would be to listen. Create a workplace environment that is a safe space where you can have an open narrative along with programming and education to ensure that diversity and inclusion is something every single one of your employees sees and has investment in. As an example, we recently hired a diversity consultant, Michelle Duguid, who is a Cornell professor and the Associate Dean of Diversity. She understands business and our goals as a company, but she’s also very well involved in academia and research, which I think is important.
Celebrate one another! At Kathy Kuo Home, we make a big deal out of birthdays, work anniversaries, and hitting exciting business goals. We take the time to share and listen to each other’s stories and passions. Lifting up individuals helps everyone to celebrate each other’s differences while bonding and creating unity as a company.
Another important step is to recognize that there’s continuous learning to be had and work to be done. Creating an inclusive and equitable society is something that must be at the forefront of your mind (and your business) always. Embracing diversity and inclusion benefits every single aspect of our business and our society.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Most of our readers — in fact, most people — think they have a pretty good idea of what a CEO or executive does. But in just a few words can you explain what an executive does that is different from the responsibilities of the other leaders?
The CEO typically is the one that creates and drives the core mission, the raison d’etre for the company, and ultimately the guiding principles that the organization upholds.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a CEO or executive. Can you explain what you mean?
I think there’s a myth that once you’re a CEO you’ve made it, that’s it. Although I’m proud of what I’ve built and the team I have, I’m constantly trying to better our brand and continue to learn. Businesses don’t ever just stay stagnant — your company is either growing too fast or not growing fast enough. Interestingly enough, both are problematic and both feel like suffocation at times. Of course, we’d rather be growing too fast, instead of not growing fast enough. Ie, there is always another challenge to solve. Compared to other companies our size (50–100 employees), I haven’t met another CEO that is just happily doing the same thing day in and day out and maintaining their growth rate.
In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by women executives that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?
Having to choose between family and being an executive. Men are expected to choose careers. Women are expected to choose one or the other, but receive little support to actually excel at both.
I am a single mother-of-two, and my oldest, Maya, is 7 and I have a 4 year old son. Although I’d love to spend every waking moment with my children, I think it’s very important and impactful for them — in particular my daughter — to see me going to work every day, being passionate about what I do, and building and leading a brand I love.
She’s also learned a lot from my experiences — she watches how I communicate and think about problem solving. She’ll ask about how I design my day, my team, and what is important for me in business, she understands that there are hard decisions I have to make. Her seeing my thought process has helped shape how she thinks about problems as well.
Through example, my daughter has learned that you don’t have to choose between having a great family life and a great career, and I hope that’s something that continues to be more evident as her generation grows up.
What is the most striking difference between your actual job and how you thought the job would be?
Well, there’s really no defined role for what a CEO does, so I think it’s very challenging for everyone to understand. Being “on the job” is a daily reminder of how much I still have to learn. As I mentioned earlier, as your business grows, you face additional challenges, and as the world / the customer mindset evolves, your brand must too.
I remember realizing: ‘I need someone who does this, but what is that even called?’ It’s very interesting to find out what I don’t know that we need, or I need to bring someone in to do. Sometimes we end up creating positions that are truly unique to our brand and needs that don’t exist anywhere else at any other company.
Certainly, not everyone is cut out to be an executive. In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful executive and what type of person should avoid aspiring to be an executive? Can you explain what you mean?
The core foundations for a company must be the culture and mission. With that, to be a good leader, you need to understand people. You need to be able to relate to people in order to really corral a team; understand what motivates your employees, lift them up, help them get fired up about your mission, and give them a place to grow. People want to work where they have an opportunity to grow, personally and professionally, and want to make a difference. In that sense, it’s like parenting, setting the North Star, and mentoring with equal parts love and discipline.
In terms of traits, I think to be a successful executive it’s important to be resilient, have a strong intuition, love for problem solving, and you must have almost a abnormal amount of confidence in your product or brand. I think it would be challenging for someone to successfully run a company if they were easily persuaded, scared of taking risks, or uncomfortable with decision making.
What advice would you give to other women leaders to help their team to thrive?
Surround yourself with other inspired women, who believe in your cause, and never hesitate to ask and lean on the advice of other female founders. Women should help other women.
How have you used your success to make the world a better place?
During times like these, people are looking for an oasis, a safe haven — and at Kathy Kuo Home, we work to provide that. We have both a highly curated assortment of well-made projects, and an in-house interior design firm that works to support shoppers through the entire design process; we help people create a space that they love, which is more important now than ever.
In addition, one of my personal passions is mentorship for other women looking to create a difference in this world. I speak at events, schools, and seek out opportunities to support and nurture other female entrepreneurs motivated to make an impact. I think it’s important to use whatever platform you have to help lift up others, and I’ll continue to have that in the forefront of my brand as we evolve.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why? (Please share a story or example for each.)
You can build whatever company at whatever scale you want; limitations are created in your own mind.
If you have a problem, figure out how to solve it, but go find someone who can solve it for you faster.
Delegate unimportant tasks, but never delegate hiring. Try to interview every single person on your team until you no longer have the time to, but it is the single most important thing you can do is to personally find good people to support your mission.
Prioritize sleep and work hard to achieve a healthy sleep cycle
Treat your customers, suppliers and employees the same — with the dignity and respect that they all deserve.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
Rethinking higher education and being able to provide higher education for everyone. And create a society that prioritizes education — but for the whole person — mental, physical, and physiological.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
When good design happens, you don’t notice it. It feels natural, organic, effortless, expected, and perfectly balanced, It’s harmonious.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them
Well if I could have a meal with anyone, it would be the Dalai Lama. I believe that designing the life that you want stems from your own perception. To be a good leader, you need to have a strong foundation of self awareness and be very personally resilient, but also must guide with empathy, love and compassion. The Dalai Lama represents all of those things; the ability to be effortlessly controlled with self awareness and genuinely compassionate. These are the foundations of a strong modern day leader.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
Samantha Bessudo Drucker of Love & Design Project: 5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy
If you’re planning a renovation, using the same material for all your surfaces, like counters, islands, bar, credenzas, tops dresser drawers — all the surfaces. The simplicity of this modern style design technique will make your space look cleaner and larger and feel calmer. Currently, I’m using this design method in my home in Florida, taking it one step further by using the same kind of white marble for the floor and all the cabinet surfaces.
As part of my series on the “5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Samantha Bessudo Drucker.
Samantha is co-host of Love & Design Project. On the renovation series, she transforms urban spaces with her husband, architect Jeffrey Drucker. Samantha is also the creator of 90 Days To Husband №2, a dating system based on proven techniques. As a co-host of Sexy Is Timeless Talks, Samantha shares lifestyle tips with dynamic co-hosts Luisa Diaz and Delaina Dixon.
Thank you so much for joining us in this series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit more about you. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I’m a lifestyle genie. I’ve been a lifestyle expert and image consultant for 20 years. Making over homes is very similar to making over people. When I met my husband he had an apartment previously owned by his parents. The space needed a fresh start so we could begin our own lives together. When my husband said, “Let me build you a kitchen,” I did not get offended because I love to cook. I grabbed his hand and said, “Walk with me,” and proceeded to tell him what my plans were for the whole apartment. A couple of days later I said, “You said you wanted to do a business together. Well, this is it!” Love & Design Project was born.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
Shooting Love & Design Project led to becoming a cohost on Sexy Is Timeless Talks, a show born out of quarantinewith my besties, Luisa Diaz and Delaina Dixon. On the show, I share my views on lifestyle and so many other empowering issues. I do believe in the butterfly effect.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
About 10 years ago I was revamping a bachelor pad for one of my clients and the bed we ordered did not fit through the door! The bed had to be taken apart to get it in his apartment. Then there was some other issue with his special mattress which was not made for the bed, from the rookie mistake of not measuring everything, including the doorframe. But with a little maneuvering and some outside the box thinking we got it all to work. Phew!
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
I’m currently in production for Season 2 of Love & Design Project which is extra special because my husband and I are creating our dream apartment with all the bells and whistles on the beach in Hollywood, Florida. Each week I give my Construction Confessions, a recap of our progress, along with suggestions, tips and how we come up with solutions for problems we encounter along the way. I believe your home should be your oasis and I want to help people live their best lives at home.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My mother, designer Coco Raynes, is a wealth of wisdom. Some of her pearls of knowledge that stuck with me are:
1. “Be anything you want, but be the best or don’t bother.” This gave me the freedom to pursue my dreams armed with an intense work ethic to make things happen.
2. “Don’t take any crap from anybody.” Life is too short to deal with nasty people and negative energy. It taught me to stand up for myself and not be pushed around.
3. “Simplify, Simplify,Simplify.” It’s the key to great design and so much more. Best life hack ever!
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Most of my success I have worked extremely hard for. However, my mother, husband, mentors and friends who are like family have been very supportive of my career. I have always fostered an environment of creativity and collaboration amongst friends so that we could create and move forward together, and that has been beautiful. I even went as far as organizing a Diva Tank (athink tank for divas) with some girlfriends to help each other with our projects by strategizing, problem-solving and collaboration.Sexy Is Timeless Talks, Love & Design Project, the 90 Days To Husband #2web series (book to come out this fall) and a recent teleplay I am in, All About Eve,are perfect examples of collaboration amongst peers.
Thank you for that. Here is the main question of our discussion. What are your “5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy” and why. Please share a story or example for each.
Here are some of my tips for sparking joy in your living space.
1. Declutter your space. Being free of dead weight and well organized will make you and your space feel lighter and brighter. It also opens up space for something new to enter your life.
2. If you have outdoor space, consider using the same flooring material outdoors as you have used in its adjacent floors indoors. The continuity will make your space feel bigger and blur the lines between indoor and outdoor living.
3. If you’re planning a renovation, using the same material for all your surfaces, like counters, islands, bar, credenzas, tops dresser drawers — all the surfaces. The simplicity of this modern style design technique will make your space look cleaner and larger and feel calmer. Currently, I’m using this design method in my home in Florida, taking it one step further by using the same kind of white marble for the floor and all the cabinet surfaces.
4. Have flowers and plants, and plant vegetables and fruits indoors and outdoors at your home. Plants add healthful vitality, and having them indoors and outdoors also helps blur the lines between the interior and exterior.
5. If you have young children, consider acrylic glassware. You won’t have to worry about breakage. When the table is set your kids will feel included and appreciate that they have the same glassware as the adults. It helps with dining etiquette because they will learn how to hold glasses. If you do any entertaining, you will no longer have to worry about guests dropping and breaking your good crystal and it is a much more elegant and more sustainable solution that paper and plastic disposable cups.
Bonus tips
6. Upgrade all of your sheets and towels for instant luxury.
7. Use lighting, rechargeable led lights, electric tea lights, votives and citronella candles to add ambient lighting, glamour, and mosquito protection.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’m becoming more obsessed each day with the idea of growing our own food. At least some of it. Even if we live in an apartment in the city we can grow things like sprouts, celery, lettuce, onions, tomatoes and herbs. They are easy to grow and don’t require much space or light. If I had a back yard I would be planting fruit trees and creating a vegetable garden. It is far more sustainable, more cost-effective and better for us if we at least try growing some of our own food at home.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
If I could have lunch with anyone, It would be Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah). I had the privilege of appearing in her magazine twice. She is a wealth of information and a model of perseverance, professionalism, relatability, and manifestation. She has shown us all that no matter who we are, the sky’s the limit. I have always dreamed of having a lifestyle show, complete with home tips, recipes, fashion and beauty, relationship tips and fascinating guests. It’s been one of my dreams since I watched Sue Ann Nivens played by Betty White on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. I’ve achieved the first layer of this goal, illustrated by my long-running advice columns, Ask Sam and Image Gal for The Times Square Chronicles and DivaGalsDaily, and a 20-year career as a celebrity Image Consultant wanting to help people live their best life. I’m currently hosting Sexy Is Timeless Talks, a talk show; Love & Design Project, a renovation show, 90 Days to Husband #2, a web seriesofdating advice (book coming out soon) and even the occasional cooking segment featuring elevated pescatarian and vegan cuisine. These days since we are all at home, I just get dressed with hair and makeup once a week and then I shoot everything on Wednesdays! Simplify, Simplify!
…Most importantly trust you are a person of value and purpose. Personally, I believe in the power of prayer and predestination by God so I really try not to stress about anything as long as I believe I am doing the right thing, it’s fun.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Vincent Kabaso, PGA of America.
Vincent Kabaso is a true trailblazer, as he stands alone as the one and only PGA Professional among The Republic of Zambia’s vast population of 17 million. And, in a country with just 25 golf courses (and growing) Kabaso’s journey to PGA Membership is nothing short of miraculous. While Vincent endured several road bumps throughout his journey, his deep passion for the game of golf kept his dream alive. This year, the PGA of America selected Vincent as one of 15 PGA Members who will comprise its PGA LEAD class (2020-’21), which is the Association’s leadership development program. PGA LEAD was created in 2016 to identify, mentor and progress PGA Members from diverse backgrounds into volunteer leadership positions in the Association. Kabaso is currently living his dream as a PGA Professional.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes, my book Raised By The World which details my journey to PGA membership and growing up in Zambia has recently been submitted to the publishers. It is scheduled to be released in September 2020. It will inspire anyone that reads it to go after their wildest dream, it will also impress a great feeling to the mind and heart of a reader looking for a beautiful story to read.
I was also recently selected to the 2020–21 PGA LEAD class. PGA LEAD is the PGA of America’s leadership development program created to identify, mentor and progress PGA Members from diverse backgrounds into volunteer leadership positions in the Association. This has been a fulfilling experience, giving me outstanding exposure while further educating myself on important organizational policies. Additionally, it’s afforded me an opportunity to interact with distinguished golf industry leaders as I aspire to assume leadership and administrative positions.
In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?
My foundation Raised By The World exemplifies the greater good of humanity. We aspire to look out for people who are disadvantaged. It has been self-funded for the last two years, which demonstrates how passionate I am about empowering youths and creating opportunities for the least amongst us.
Additionally, I am a proud member of The PGA of America, and it’s truly inspiring to see the Association’s commitment to create a game and workforce that mirrors America. In addition to PGA LEAD, PGA WORKS is another strategic initiative to open doors in the golf industry, by leveraging fellowships, scholarships, career exploration events and more to educate and engage individuals from diverse backgrounds on the many employment opportunities across the golf industry.
Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?
Everyone including my family members told me pursing PGA membership was out of reach. Mainly because we didn’t have the resources. I was strongly convicted in this pursuit that I went to the UK against my parents’ will. I endured financial challenges but still graduated college. I then moved to America to pursue PGA training giving up a good job and selling everything to my name. It was equally an “impossible” mission and to be honest, I didn’t exactly know how I was going to go about it. Against all odds I persevered and achieved my goal of becoming the first PGA member from Zambia and it gives me great pride to look back and think how it so easily couldn’t have been. It was a huge risk that was never easy by any stretch, but I conquered a seemingly impossible goal and I take great pride in sharing my story.
In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong?
They were left in awe and didn’t have much option except to rally behind me. Lee Trevino described success so well when he said “I played the Tour in 1967 and told jokes and nobody laughed. Then I won the (U.S.) Open the next year, told the same jokes, and everybody laughed like hell.” I’ve always known that very few will support you as you pursue your goals, but everyone will want to align/associate with your success when you achieve your dreams.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Yes, Jonathan MacDonald was the Head of Golf Studies at the first college I attended in England. I sat with him in a meeting with the finance department where they basically said I would be sent back to Zambia because I didn’t have the money to pay tuition fees. After the meeting was done, he tapped my shoulder and assured me “that was never going to happen under his watch,” and he walked me over to the kitchen and lobbied for me to get my first job as a dishwasher. My entire life, my pursuit felt so lonely and personal and I didn’t think anyone cared about me. Jonathan was the first person that expressed empathy towards me and went out of his way to guide me in the right direction on many occasions. Equally when I met Hannah (wife), I was going through a pretty tough time after losing sponsorship at College and I was really not sure what I was going to do. She was a rock and asked to pray for me when I told her about my predicament. That meant a lot to me and proved I could trust and lean on her.
It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?
When I started going to the golf club in Zambia, I noticed that my dad probably was the least socially standing member at the club. Everyone was an executive or operated their own business, while my dad was a general worker in the copper mines. But it fascinated me to see how he carried himself so confidently and never once expressed inferiority even when speaking with executives. I look back at those moments with a lot of pride. He definitely inspired me to always remain confident in any situation.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)
1. You must trust yourself and your abilities.
2. You must understand that you’re on your own — if you don’t do it yourself, nobody will (taking absolute responsibility for your life).
3. You must be open minded, it usually never works out like you plan it, but it does work out regardless.
4. You must treat people with respect and be genuine in your interactions, you never know who’s going to help you or who you might meet and help along the way.
5. Most importantly trust you are a person of value and purpose. Personally, I believe in the power of prayer and predestination by God so I really try not to stress about anything as long as I believe I am doing the right thing, it’s fun.
What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?
It is a bible verse from john 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” I also like these quotes
1: “There is always a way”
2: “If it was easy, anybody would do it”
3: “Whoever thinks it cannot be done, must not stand in the way of those trying to do it”
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be?
You never know what your idea can trigger. It is inspired by a famous African proverb called “Ubuntu” which means “I am who I am because of who we all are.” It highlights the fact that we are all interdependent and we should live as such especially in today’s environment where we are divided on so many fronts.
Katy Kendeall of Sparq Designs: Six Ways To Leverage Instagram To Dramatically Improve Your Business
Engage with your audience. Instagram has one of the highest engagement rates of all social platforms, so be social! With Instagram, you are given the opportunity to directly interact with your existing and potential customers. Encourage conversations when you post and even join in on discussions on other relevant accounts in your industry. I would also recommend responding to each and every comment and direct message in a timely manner.
As a part of our series about How To Leverage Instagram To Grow Your Business, I had the pleasure of interviewing Katy Kendeall.
Katy Kendeall is a sales executive at Sparq Designs. With over 10 years of sales experience, Katy is committed to providing clients with the utmost customer satisfaction.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I knew after college I wanted to work within the media world, but I graduated right when the 2009 recession hit and no one was hiring. Because of that, I worked in retail for almost two years. During those years I literally applied to thousands (no exaggeration) of jobs until I finally landed one. I’ve been either working with or for agencies ever since!
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
The most interesting (and fun!) experiences in my career thus far have been attending upfront parties that television networks hold in New York. Celebrities, free food, an open bar, and getting the chance to see what new shows will be premiering — it’s hard to find stories that beat that! It felt like something I should have been paying them to attend, not the other way around.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Like so many others, I think one of the funniest (and definitely most embarrassing) mistakes I made early on in my career was a simple one. Sending an email about someone without removing them from the email thread. Luckily, what i said wasn’t too bad.
Pro tip: always start an email by removing the recipient(s) from your email draft and then add them back once you are finished.
Ok. Let’s now move to the main focus of our discussion. For the benefit of our readers, can you explain why you are an authority about Social Media Marketing?
I’ve been in the media world for over a decade now and have gotten the chance to talk and work with some of the largest agencies in New York, Atlanta, and Los Angeles. I’ve also now worked for three different agencies and have learned a lot along the way.
Which social media platform have you found to be most effective to use to increase business revenues? Can you share a story from your experience?
This sounds like a very political answer, but any good marketer will tell you that it depends on what audience you are targeting. That being said, one of our home security clients has seen a huge boost in sales using both organic Facebook posts as well as paid Facebook ads given that is where a lot of their target demographic spends time.
Let’s talk about Instagram specifically, now. Can you share 6 ways to leverage Instagram to dramatically improve your business? Please share a story or example for each.
Engage with your audience. Instagram has one of the highest engagement rates of all social platforms, so be social! With Instagram, you are given the opportunity to directly interact with your existing and potential customers. Encourage conversations when you post and even join in on discussions on other relevant accounts in your industry. I would also recommend responding to each and every comment and direct message in a timely manner.
Consider Influencer Marketing. Instagram is the ideal platform for brand ambassadorship. Influencers are connected to their audience and are a proven source of inspiration and information to their followers. Micro-influencers in particular provide an excellent opportunity to target your niche audience in an impactful way. Their fans are loyal and engaged and with their recommendation, there’s a great chance they will enjoy your products or services too.
Utilize an Instagram Ad Campaign. If you are looking to either increase brand awareness or increase sales, then Instagram ads could work great for you. When creating an Instagram Ad Campaign, make sure your ad focuses on one goal only. Because Instagram is so visual, your ad creative will need to be impactful. And as most digital marketing campaigns go, A/B test variations of the same ad (changing the copy and image) to help figure out what works best for your audience(s).
Consider Shoppable Posts. Shoppable posts make it super easy to tag and shop products directly from your organic Instagram posts. If you are selling products online, shoppable posts allow you to connect your audience with the products you sell and provide a seamless shopping experience right on the platform. You’ll provide your followers with less friction in their buying journey which will hopefully turn them into loyal customers.
Add IGTV videos. IGTV is an amazing channel to show off your products, create tutorials, provide customer testimonials, and answer questions or tell stories with interviews. You don’t need a huge ad budget for them either! IGTV videos are very similar to YouTube — your videos don’t need to be studio production quality. Videos on IGTV allow you to grab your audience’s attention to form a genuine, personal connection with them.
Leverage User Generated Content. Your followers who love your business can be your best marketers! User Generated Content is uniquely authentic and often gets more engagement on Instagram, which means more likes and comments on your posts. The more engagement you get, the higher your posts are prioritized in the Instagram feed. The higher your posts are prioritized, the greater chance new users will find your content on the explore tab. When using UGC, be sure that you have been given permission from your users to share their content.
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
There are so many worthy causes — it’s overwhelming to choose just one! A lot of our world’s issues are interwoven and you can’t necessarily solve any of them without solving the others. With that being said, I think an important one that needs urgent attention and action, is climate change. No place on our planet is immune from the consequences, so effort from everyone is vital. It’s such a huge issue, but this quote by Howard Zinn is a palatable way to think about all of our small efforts that can help; “Small acts when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.”
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I’ve been following Steve Stoute for a long time, so I’ll have to go with him. He’s a former music executive turned author and advertising agency owner. He has one of the best pulses I’ve ever seen on the power of culture. Everything he works on is so effortlessly cool.
Thank you so much for these great insights. This was very enlightening!
Trust the important people of your life. See out and rely on your mentors and key people that believe in you, recognize your worth, and encourage you to take up challenges, especially if they are expert in their areas of expertise.
As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Amber Lacanal.
Amber Lacanal has been helping leaders build optimal organizations and teams for 12 years. She combines a strategic and analytical background with a creative mindset, allowing her to help clients solve complex people issues. She has driven change initiatives across a wide range of industries, disciplines and countries, and this experience allows her to thrive in an ever-changing environment. She naturally gravitates toward both large organizational issues and interpersonal and behavioral issues.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
My mother was an engineer and my father was a head of school and educational psychologist, and they have both had a big influence on my life. Because of them, I have always felt a tension between my interest in business and my desire to help individuals succeed. While I was getting my Master’s degree in Business Management, I felt like I was missing the human aspect of it. So I completed a double diploma and got a Specialized Master’s, focusing on Business, Human Resources and Organizational Development at the same time.
During my early career, I became a leadership coach. While I have retained this role, I have also constantly pushed forward Digital transformation and Data & analytics capability-building. This is another example of my two-sided brain!
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
Working in France and in the US has been an invaluable experience. But I definitely went through an adjustment phase at first. I lived with an American family when I was younger so when I decided to work in the States I assumed my transition would be very smooth and familiar. I didn’t expect the working culture to be that different. But I was surprised by the differences in the pace, the expectations and the communication styles.
I have learned so much as I’ve lived in both worlds and taking the best out of them. When I coached, I definitely leveraged my own experience going through the change curve to help my clients do the same. External changes occur at all times in our life (going to college, relocation, company reorganization…) and they trigger an internal transition that is a three-phase psychological process (ending, neutral zone and new beginning). From my perspective, the ending phase shouldn’t be neglected: respecting the past and building awareness of what the transition will entail (who is going to have to let go of what) is vital before moving into any transition strategy.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
At Notion, the sky’s the limit. Not only am I able to bring my whole self to work but I can also help define where we are going as a team. As Notion’s Innovation and Thought leadership lead, I’ve developed our unique service offering as well as trained our team on our Fast Track methodology, which is helping to shape our direction as a new and growing company. Throughout the process, I’ve felt supported by leaders, and had the privilege of collaborating with other creative minds to get to an even better end product.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
A lot of people have supported me throughout my journey, especially early on in my career. When I started my path in consulting, I met Anny, a senior leadership consultant who took me under her wing. I looked up to her for her skills but also her unwavering authenticity. As I moved into a managerial role, she became my mentor and coach, but also a true friend. When she passed away this year, it made me realize that we never say thank you enough to these people who help guide you, and who see your potential before you even do.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?
People with Impostor Syndrome have the constant feeling of not being good enough and not deserving credit for their success. It often goes along with a lot of self-doubt and fear of failure. For a lot of us, it goes back to our early childhood experiences. Our environment, education and culture have shaped who we are and how we see ourselves and the world around us. But really — how do you break a mental framework that has been built since your early childhood?
What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?
A huge downside of this Syndrome is not asking for what you deserve — from a personal and a career perspective. In terms of work, that means it can limit your opportunities — for promotion, for career development and compensation.A turning point in my career was when my first manager told me in one of our 1:1 conversations: “you have to ask for what you want”. I learned that no one understands your needs and dreams better than you do and no one is going to anticipate them or meet them if you don’t put them on the table.
How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?
If you’ve had Impostor Syndrome, you probably project a little bit of your experience onto others, which can help you show more empathy towards anyone displaying any sign of lack of confidence. But let’s face it — we all feel Impostor Syndrome at some point in our lives, simply because this world is moving so fast, and it is constantly raising the bar and pushing us to adjust and take up new challenges to feel a sense of meaning and accomplishment.
We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?
As far back as I can remember, I have had feelings of self-doubt towards tasks that were out of my comfort zone. In hindsight, this was probably the result of setting the bar too high. I had very high standards for myself that were unachievable, at least in the short term. For example, when I started to practice leadership assessment and development, I felt I had to know all the tools and techniques from the get go, so that I could be called an expert. This was my personal framework. I was restless until I realized that these standards were preventing me from taking on new challenges. Expecting perfection from the outset can simply paralyze you because it can seem so daunting. Now, I try to value progress over perfection.
Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?
Yes, but it didn’t happen overnight. Overcoming Impostor Syndrome and gaining personal confidence have been more of a process and a journey.
I was born and raised in a small village in the Southwest of France. I’ve lived in Paris and Singapore, and now I am settled on the east coast of the U.S. I have studied and worked with many cultures, and in a myriad of different environments. By meeting new people, cultures and backgrounds, my perspective has shifted. I have learned to trust in myself and my ability to solve problems. I have learned that my experiences all contribute to my ability to coach others, and I can position myself as an expert by constantly challenging myself to do more, while keeping a curious mindset. I don’t assume I have all the answers, but I know that I can bring a valuable perspective to the table, no matter what the problem is that I’m trying to solve. By recognizing that each of us can determine the definition of perfection, I took back control. Through all my life experiences, I have changed my perspective. I continuously try to keep learning, and unlearning my mental framework so that I can continue to grow.
In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.
Get external validation — through indisputable proof, like education, degrees and certification.
Look at objective measures of success — defining and meeting metrics and targets is another objective way to validate your accomplishments.
Trust the important people of your life. See out and rely on your mentors and key people that believe in you, recognize your worth, and encourage you to take up challenges, especially if they are expert in their areas of expertise.
Be vulnerable and stay curious. A partner at my first consulting firm taught me that “you don’t know what you don’t know.” By saying that, he gave me permission to ask questions without doubting myself.
Change your context and perspective. Above all, I think radically changing your mental framework, with something completely different and new, is the single most meaningful thing you can do. For some, this change might mean picking a new career or way of life, for others it’s moving to a new country. By changing your surroundings, you are changing your perspective. You are learning that knowledge, worth and success are deeply relative to each individual. When you shift your context, you are allowing yourself to see things and yourself through a different lens. Being exposed to new people and environments allows you to recognize that we are all flawed, imperfect humans. We all have much to learn, and we all have much to teach.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
When I don’t spend time with my little one, I help women find their authentic style and feel their best every day. Separate from the work I do for Notion, I’ve developed “Like a haircut,” a unique coaching approach that combines American willpower and the French sense of style. The name of the project originated from the idea that life is like a haircut — as easy to love as it is to hate. I want to continue to empower women to help them understand what they want, know how to go after it, and look and feel great while doing so! Your readers can learn more about the project here: http://www.likeahaircut.com/image-consulting-1
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
Brene Brown. She has been and still is instrumental in my personal journey to vulnerability as well as in my coaching practice, where I help others recognize their potential. Brene, if you read this, thank you.
I began to wonder how different the world would be if we all had the opportunity to meet regular people from different countries and different walks of life. When I was a kid, it was common for elementary students to have international pen pals. This was facilitated by our education system. If kids could be raised having pen pals from two or three countries for several years in a row, that would bridge a very large gap and teach children that we are all the same human beings just existing in different locations.
As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ashley Zarah.
She is an Iranian singer/songwriter and Dark-Pop performer hailing from Los Angeles, CA. Merging millennial pain and pop culture, she is drawing listeners into her Dark-Pop Universe to engage with their truths in a world that is becoming increasingly superficial. While on scholarship at the highly prestigious art institution, Berklee College of Music, she revealed herself to be both a prolific writer and expressive vocalist but hooked viewers with her insight and relatability. Her Middle-Eastern influenced 2-track single Awake (produced by New England’s Producer of the Year 2013 and 2018, Sean McLaughlin) will be featured in the upcoming LA indie film, Back In the No. Her Valentine-themed release, “Like I Do,” is a Pop/Dubstep collaboration with electronic producer MKBLV that debuted on the world-renowned music editorial, The Hype Magazine, followed by a feature on NPR’s Sound Opinions: “Buried Treasures” segment. Zarah’s highly anticipated project, the Better Mess — LP, is currently in post-production for release in the Fall of 2020; leading with fan-favorite, “My Boyfriend,” as its first single in July.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I was raised in a music loving family, so it was easy for me to pick up the same attachment. The difference was, my family enjoyed it as a pastime (as many people do); whereas for me, it was a sort of religion. I reached out to music for everything; when I was looking for answers, when I sought comfort, when I needed a friend to both hype me up but also sit me down. But sometimes, despite all the music that exists, I couldn’t find the right song to describe what I was feeling or experiencing. So I started creating them. Then under a lot of force, I sang them for a few people, mostly just a few kids in my schools. We were literally children… but after I’d finish, I’d look up and see tears in their eyes. In a moment, I understood that maybe they were suffering from a pain that I was suffering from, and they were being forced to be quiet about it. Maybe listening to me made them feel understood, less afraid, and less alone. As I continued to dabble in the industry, I kept getting this reaction. Later in life, I accepted that I was a vessel for people’s healing; telling stories, thoughts and feelings in hopes that they would give a voice to those who felt unheard and suppressed. Having this ability made it pretty clear that my purpose is to heal others with art. I was told all my life that I would be a great lawyer or a great therapist, but I always felt I could bring more justice and more healing into the world with art. Music guides and saves people’s lives, myself included. It’s been that way since its inception, and it feels like my responsibility to continue that tradition for others.
Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?
So I come from a conservative Middle-Eastern background. There is a path that is strictly set for both men and women in this community; but for women, it’s much narrower. I was always being told how to dress, what to want, what to eat, how to behave, what to believe… Growing up, I saw that women in our community didn’t have their own identities. They were individuals until they became “Mom” and/or “Wife;” only meant to serve their kids, their husbands, and their in-laws. In the Iranian-Jewish community, procreating is seemingly every woman’s destiny; so if you’re a girl who doesn’t have marriage on the top of your to-do list by the age of 13, there is something wrong with you.
Revealing to people that I wanted to be a musician was extremely disruptive. It also became everybody’s business. People were sending their kids to talk to me, they’d lecture me at family events about stability and conformity, that this wasn’t the “Iranian way” nor the “Jewish way” — but ultimately everyone’s greatest fear was that I’d deviate from the path. Because “what man would ever marry a selfish woman who’s getting naked every night on tour, rather than staying home and raising his children?!” Clearly, I thought very differently than most of my community growing up. I may have grown up a social pariah, but now that I’m more self-assured, and now that I’m doing well, the same people who were threatened by my disruption of the status quo now admire my “boldness” or my “bravery” as they call it. They tell me how much their kids look up to me, that they feel represented and proud to see an Iranian woman challenging the music industry. They also see that my intentions are pure, that I’m a professional, and that I have a good heart. I think those paths they laid out for us from the beginning are paved with the intention of yielding just that. But when their kids choose not to conform, they no longer know who that child will become. The unknown is very scary, but the unknown is where growth happens. That’s where all the magic is.
We all need a little help along the journey — who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?
My mentors have always been my teachers, and they’ve made an impact in countless ways, so I don’t have one particular story that comes to mind. I believe that teachers genuinely want to their students to succeed. Therefore, they need to be extremely observant and emotionally intelligent to be able to identify when a student may be struggling outside of the classroom. They sought me out because they saw something in me that needed nurturing and direction. With all the issues I had at such an early age, I was Grade-A addict material. My greatest fear in high school was alcohol, because I knew if I tried it and it eased my ailments, I would drink it day and night like water. I’m not sure if they even knew it when they’d hold me after class to just talk and listen — but I hold my teachers and professors accountable for rerouting my journey because they rerouted my thinking. They made me believe I was worthy of an education, I was worthy of success, that I was placed on this Earth for a unique reason, and that I had the power to make a difference.
Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.
God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. — I was very influenced by my middle school math teacher. This statement was directed toward a really great kid, but nonetheless, a student who could not seem to stop talking during class. I remember exactly where I was sitting, watching the yellow glow of the overhead projector beam onto my teacher’s shiny head like a holy halo when he spoke these words of wisdom. As someone who never felt listened to, this struck a chord. There is so much that we miss when we insist on being the loudest in the room. This sentence emphasizes the value of silence and the value of learning. If you’re the only one talking, there are plenty of great things you’re probably missing out on. In music, our whole careers are based on how well we listen; to pitch, to harmony, to stories, lyrics, textures, mixes, masters — all of it has to do with staying quiet and really thinking about what we’re hearing.
Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet. — My entire family raised me, my brother, and my cousins on Persian metaphors and anecdotes. I owe a lot of my perspective to each and every one of them, but my father has an endless account of Iranian lessons to pull out of his pocket. One I heard countless times from him, was this. When I used to be faced with a problem, it felt like the world was collapsing because I was already dreading the domino effect that was bound to come. I would fall prisoner to a chaos that hadn’t even happened yet, wasting precious time and energy on something that did not exist and may not actually exist in the future either. I could be spending that time and energy on finding valuable solutions. By worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet, we almost manifest it into existence. But confronting each problem one step at a time helps you remain more present and keeps your mind clear so you can actually anticipate and prepare for your next challenge.
Your perspective is everything — Two people can approach the same hurdles in life, but have completely different outcomes merely on the basis of their perspective. One may advance the hurdle as a challenge and are inspired by what they will learn afterwards; while another only sees a problem and focuses on their inabilities and helplessness. There are so many small choices we make every day that shape our way of thinking; our diction, how we frame our experiences, how we solve problems, etc. How we choose to see things will become what we see. Perspective is everything.
How are you going to shake things up next?
With my new LP! I call myself a storyteller before anything else because all that I’m really doing is telling a story, just in my own way. The Better Mess — LP is a collection of stories that encompass roughly the same theme — that denial of truth keeps us from growth. Every song is about admitting or exposing a difficult reality. Iranian culture is built on a lot of restraint. We are raised to be very moderate, always well-tempered, never opinionated enough to be disruptive — our culture is very much about our guests and how we treat others than it is about ourselves and our feelings. I have learned how to be an incredible host because of my upbringing, but I was also trained to be incredibly numb and ignore nearly everything that could make me visibly emotional. If you are visibly emotional, you are no longer moderate and likeable, and the community dissociates with you and maybe even your family. I think it should also be noted that there is a mental-health crisis in Iranian communities, and unfortunately it makes a lot of sense. Lifetimes of emotional repression will implode the host.
I was the type of person who openly debated on topics like women’s rights, politics, the LGBTQ+ community, racism, religion so on and so forth — but growing up, I was told that those discussions and ideas were inappropriate and a disturbance to others, then instilling guilt for possibly damaging our family’s reputation. The Better Mess — LP is inviting everyone to have those real-life discussions and to explore their truest feelings, publicly. The first song on it is about being sexually assaulted by a close friend. Another song analyzes Love’s destructive role in a family. These are taboo topics that normally I would be told to stop talking about; because, “it’ll just bother you and bother everyone else. Why don’t you sing about something pleasant? Like going to the beach!” This mentality inhibits people from healing by stifling their emotions, therefore damaging their mental health. I refuse to be quiet about what keeps us up at night. We have to study our wounds for them to heal, otherwise they’ll bleed forever, and even going to the beach will sting.
Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho is probably responsible for me applying to Berklee College of Music and pursuing music full-time. It follows a boy named Santiago as he travels the world seeking its most extravagant treasures; and on that journey, we learn some deeply moving lessons about seeking truth and finding “success.” I’d say the general theme is manifestation; understanding that the universe is on our side as long as we pursue our intrinsic purpose which, according to Coelho’s writings, is engrained within us at birth. It’s much like the Greek philosophy of telos. Pursuing one’s telos is akin to pursuing one’s innate ultimate end, purpose, or goal. So a knife’s purpose is to cut. If it cuts things, it is achieving its telos and adding harmony into the world because it is functioning just as it was “born to” or “destined to” per se. If us as individuals or as a collective, pursue whatever our telos is perceived to be, then we emit harmony into the world and aid in its functionality, also aiding our individual goals. When we don’t pursue our truth, our passion, or purpose, our part of the universal harmony gets broken and we gradually lose touch with not only ourselves but everything else around us because our great purpose is now lost. It’s essentially saying, if all people pursue what they love, the world would be a more harmonious place.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’m blessed to have many friends from around the world, and so I’ve had the luxury of being welcomed into the homes of people with very different lifestyles and perspectives. I began to wonder how different the world would be if we all had the opportunity to meet regular people from different countries and different walks of life. When I was a kid, it was common for elementary students to have international pen pals. This was facilitated by our education system. If kids could be raised having pen pals from two or three countries for several years in a row, that would bridge a very large gap and teach children that we are all the same human beings just existing in different locations. Social media is a global platform that could easily connect us no matter how far apart we are. Imagine there was a pairing system, that when you create an Instagram account, you are instantly paired with 100 people with shared interests from around the world. Many would be surprised by the company they find and connect with. That would give people living in less diverse areas the ability to peek into the lives of those they may have otherwise misunderstood or feared.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation causes your worst fears to come true.” — I will admit, I am a very anxious person. No one else would probably say that about me, but I think it’s the truth. A good example of this is that I have a pretty big voice, but I wasn’t being taught how to use it correctly. Consequently, I used to be so scared about hurting myself when I sang, that I would hesitate right before certain notes, would suddenly fracture my confidence and technique, then would end up choking and cracking thus creating the exact outcome I was afraid of in the first place. My nervousness put doubt in the driver’s seat and it negatively affected all aspects of my work because it was like leaking poison into my self-confidence. I think about this quote before I do nearly anything that makes me nervous, because I know the nerves can block me from performing at my best. If I’m going to contact someone about collaborating, I pitch to them with enthusiasm; I don’t tear myself down in the e-mail. If I’m sharing my music with others, I’ll do it with pride and love, not with fear and doubt. This quote not only shifts my perspective on a daily basis, it also affects my practice regiment. The more I thoughtfully practice, the more confident I become in my vocal and writing abilities. So when I’m playing a live show and that intimidating note comes near — I tell myself, “you’ve done this a million times! You know how to do it,” and my hesitation is replaced with self-assurance. My audience can feel all my energy through my microphone. If I clench up, they feel it. If I’m open and laughing, they feel it. So the success of my business is ultimately based on my own confidence.
How can our readers follow you online?
They can join the Dark-Pop Tribe by subscribing to my website at AshleyZarah.com and following me on Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and Facebook. I’m looking forward to sharing the music with you all!
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!
We need to make sure that we continue talking about the pay gap as a society, that legislative action doesn’t slow down, and that internal equity is top of mind at all times. This is especially crucial in economically challenging times like a pandemic.
As part of my series about “the five things we need to do to close the gender wage gap” I had the pleasure of interviewing Elizabeth Walgram.
Elizabeth is a Senior Consultant at Segal, the employee benefits consulting firm, where she focuses on compensation and organizational development. She identifies, investigates and tracks pay inequities based on gender and race, and then works to fix the issues. Elizabeth partners with clients on a variety of projects, including total rewards strategy, competitive analysis of compensation, incentive design, career frameworks, salary structure design, and change management. She works with higher education institutions, not-for-profits, from privately held to publicly traded organizations. Elizabeth is a founding member of Segal’s Pay Equity Taskforce.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us the “backstory” that brought you to this career path?
I have always had an insatiable curiosity and love to learn, so a consulting career seemed like a natural fit. At the same time I had an interest in the “human side” of business, not just operations. I wanted to understand what motivates people, what keeps them engaged? How do you best reward them? These questions led me to explore human capital topics. I started working as a compensation consultant right after college and stayed in the field, because it continues to evolve and change — it’s never boring!
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began this career?
At the last WorldatWork’s Pay Equity Symposium I had the opportunity to hear Megan Rapinoe speak. She talked about the women’s soccer team’s fight for equal pay. It was a fascinating presentation for two reasons. First, when people think of the pay gap, they immediate think about the “business” world. But this issue touches so many areas. Sports and entertainment don’t come to mind at first. But secondly, as a pay equity consultant, I deal a lot with numbers. Pay equity analyses are supposed to quantify and rationalize the pay gap, “explain it away”. And here we had the American women’s soccer team, beating the men’s team in so many quantifiable measures, and yet that wasn’t enough. This tells you that numbers aren’t everything. The pay gap is a complex challenge that requires multifaceted solutions, but these solutions need to begin with an acknowledgement of the problem and the willingness to fix it.
Can you share a story about the funniest or most interesting mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I grew up in Europe, in a culture with very traditional, standard names. When I moved to the U.S., I was surprised by the freedom surrounding names — you can name your daughter or son practically anything you want. And some names can be male or female! For example, when I first started working as an Associate Consultant, I had a colleague with whom at first I dealt with only via email. For weeks I thought the person was a female, until someone finally told me otherwise! How embarrassing for a junior employee to keep calling a Senior Vice President by the incorrect pronoun. This innocent mistake got me thinking a lot about bias. Are people treated differently because of what gender or race their name implies? Is a person considered less competent? There has actually been a lot of research on this topic and unfortunately much of it points to unconscious bias. We all need to be careful not to let it silently slip into our decision making.
Ok let’s jump to the main focus of our interview. Even in 2019, women still earn about 80 cents for every dollar a man makes. Can you explain three of the main factors that are causing the wage gap?
This is a frequently quoted statistic, because it sounds very simple and powerful. It catches everyone’s imagination. But unfortunately, nothing about the wage gap is simple. There are a lot of complexities and these are not mentioned as often. For example, in my opinion the biggest challenge is that we have a representation gap. First, employers need to realize that even if they are legally compliant when they pay similarly for similar jobs, they still need to attract both genders to apply for each job posting. And even if you have a diverse candidate pool, you still need to deal with subconscious bias during the application process. Second, employers may need to reconsider some of their interviewing processes and hiring practices (e.g. resumes without names, calibrating starting offers, training managers). And lastly, employers need to think about pay equity during the entire employee cycle. For example, women are still more likely than men to take time off for medical leave and then often face a penalty that men don’t. Smart employers may want to think about enhancing and encouraging use of their paternity benefits. And they need to consider how these types of things (among many others) factor into promotions.
Can you share with our readers what your work is doing to help close the gender wage gap?
I help clients determine if they have any pay inequities by gender and/or race, and then I develop a plan on how to address these inequities. I conduct a deep-dive analysis to identify trends and issues, as well as highlight outliers for further inspection (why are there outliers, which ones are okay, which ones require adjustments). These quantifiable results allow clients to see issues that are not easily spotted. What really gets me excited is that going “beyond the numbers.” I help our clients look at pay equity in a holistic manner. What things contribute to inequities? What aspects of their pay programs or policies are contributing to inequities?
Sometimes, it’s very minor things. For example, I once had a client that had a policy to close an application when they reached a certain number of applicants. Over time, the organization realized that they didn’t have many minority employees, even though they were headquartered in a very diverse community. With closer inspection they realized that by closing the application early, they primarily got candidates referred by current employees, and it was a never ending cycle of similar employees hiring people just like them. That was not the intent of the organization — they craved diversity! A simple change to the policy to require a diverse pool before closing the application fixed the problem. Yes, the hiring process took longer, but the results were beneficial. Through addressing challenges like this one, I help organizations think proactively and creatively about internal pay equity.
Can you recommend 5 things that need to be done on a broader societal level to close the gender wage gap. Please share a story or example for each.
We all need to think more creatively and holistically about the gender wage gap. We need to look beyond just the numbers — peel the onion to uncover areas that are not obvious. And it’s time, since we’ve been battling this for too long
It’s time to ask ourselves — what are the fundamental barriers that women face? One of them are gender stereotypes. As a society we often still think that some jobs are more suited for one gender or another. Can’t a woman be a CEO or President of the United States, just as much as a man can be a nurse? When my 2-year old daughter grows up and choose her career, I hope she is comfortable enough to consider any job that fascinates her.
Stereotypes go deeper than just the career choices of men and women. It’s the language used around gender. For example, men are often described as assertive, but the same characteristic in women is viewed as aggressive or cold. These are often subconscious biases, and the only way to combat them is to talk about them and make employees and employers aware of them.
Kick up workplace training about negotiation styles. Bias training in the workplace is helpful, but training about negotiation styles is currently rare. Women are often considered weak negotiators. But that is not necessarily the case. In fact women often negotiate as much and as effectively as men, but their success often depends on who sits on the other side of the table. As a society, we should make sure that the other side of the table is diverse.
We need to make sure that we continue talking about the pay gap as a society, that legislative action doesn’t slow down, and that internal equity is top of mind at all times. This is especially crucial in economically challenging times like a pandemic.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would want to inspire a movement that encourages people to think and act in a more unified way. We have so much in common and we could use some more focus on what unites us, not what separates us. Recent events with the pandemic and Black Lives Matter movement have shown that we still have a lot of discord in society. Increasing tolerance and respect will help lead us into the future and I hope there is increased tolerance by the time my daughter reaches my age.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Listen more often than you speak.” Over the years I’ve discovered that listening is much tougher than talking. People are usually afraid of silence, of those awkward quiet moments. So, they tend to spend more time thinking what they will say next rather than listening to what the other person is saying. Or they talk a lot to fill the silence. In both of these cases you don’t learn very much. Being a good listener is a skill that is important both in the business world and your personal life.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
I have been impressed by the accomplishments of Meg Whitman. Over the last several decades she’s been breaking the glass ceiling at some of the largest American companies. But, she goes beyond business as well as a political activist and philanthropist. I have lots of questions to ask her. We may need a seven-course lunch!
I was my own biggest “naysayer.” I thought it was impossible to be an artist, but the universe works in magical ways, making it almost impossible for me not to own finally my artistic, creative self.
As a part of our series about “dreamers who ignored the naysayers and did what others said was impossible”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Penney De Pas.
Penney wanted to be an artist ever since she could hold a stubby crayon in her toddler fingers. Once, in second grade, she was determined to go back to school immediately following oral surgery and anesthesia just so she could attend art class. Throughout middle and high school, she always took art classes, and on field trips would go into New York City to visit the famous art museums and galleries where she told herself that her school-level art work “would never be good enough” to grace their walls.
Thus resigned to never achieve her dream, Penney settled for being an arts supporter, arts advocate, art history major in college and graduate school, and finally an arts administrator. But every job to be an arts administrator ended abruptly. Her “personality” did not seem to match what the managers or board members wanted. After a stint working on Wall Street, she finally found her niche as an association executive, from 1980 until she retired in 2017, earning her Certified Association Executive (“CAE”) designation in 1992.
In 1997, while attending a personal development course called the Landmark Forum, it dawned on Penney that her self-condemned “not good enough” sentence was merely a story that she had made up, and she could un-author it. The possibility seed of being an artist began to sprout again, slowly, blossoming into her declaration to be an artist in 2002. She has been painting and exhibiting ever since. And once the painter artist came out, other creative personas also wanted to join the fun: dancer, writer, pianist.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Can you tell us your ‘backstory’?
My family of origin on my mother’s side does have some minor artists in it, including a great-great uncle who was a British Impressionist of some repute in the Staves School. My mother liked to draw and write poetry, so she did encourage art as a hobby. I also participated in theatrical activities in high school and college, mostly as a set designer, costumer, and usher, rarely “out front.” However, there was also a pretty strong scarcity conversation in my surroundings about “How can you make a living being an artist?”
A couple of years after I did the Forum, I was learning how to be a “life coach” in a program called “The Coaches Academy” and was assigned a coach for the program. She asked me what I wanted to work on, and my response was that I wanted to own a craft gallery and start a life coaching business. Within the week, I passed a craft gallery on my route to pick up my daughter at summer camp and I registered in the then-three-year Coach University program. I made contact with the craft gallery owners, and joined as one of five partners in December 1999. We kept the gallery going until July 2001 when we felt retail slipping and sold everything down to the bare walls. Less than six weeks later, the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon occurred on 9/11, so we were very glad we bailed out of the business when we did.
In March 2002, in a second round of layoffs at my association job, my boss cut my hours back to half-time. In casting about for something to fill my time, I registered for a watercolor class beginning in April at a local arts center in the afternoon — something I could not have done if I was still working full-time. Meanwhile, I had two friends who were dealing with advanced stages of cancer — the first one dying in late June and the other in early August. Their deaths had a profound influence on my artwork; I used it as grief therapy and painted portraits of them both. I think that is why I am drawn to subjects of strength and fragility, of the eternal and the ephemeral.
A year after I began watercolors, a friend from my Landmark seminars suggested I have an exhibit at a local frame shop where she knew the owner, who was also teaching a basic framing course. He liked my work, and after I framed some of it, we held my show a month later at his shop. I sold seven paintings at that first exhibition…more than van Gogh sold in his first lifetime!
Art is a practice, so I continue to take classes, give a coaching program for those whose “artist within” is in hiding, and have branched out to charcoals, acrylics, and Chinese brush painting. In 2005, I learned belly dance, then moved onto partner dancing in swing, ballroom, Latin, and Argentine tango. In 2013, I published my first book. My life purpose is to enrich people’s lives with images and stories. I believe art is an outer expression of our inner soul’s flowering and an access to the mystical.
Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?
With the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic, I first took on updating my art website, penneydepas.com. I realized I would have to pivot from in-person gallery sales to an online presence, now selling to a wider geographic region. I have been scaling the social media learning curve and searching out different methods to reach an ever-expanding audience. Using skills and connections I have made through my continued involvement in Landmark Worldwide programs as well as my coaching tools, I have been engaging in areas I would not have thought possible before the pandemic.
Recently, I partnered with another coach who is a Landmark graduate. Together, we developed a coffee table book, The Art of C.O.R.E., which pairs over 23 of my paintings with his “21-Day C.O.R.E. Challenge” concepts. My painting “buddy,” whom I also met in the Landmark work, has also been a supporter over the years; we have shared studio space and partnered together to hold art shows. Another painting buddy and I are discussing organizing an artist retreat. And I have presented my own courses, “Finding the Artist Within,” “Sustaining the Artist Within,” and “Stoking the Creative Fires” at arts organizations, churches, and the Osher Lifetime Learning Institute.
I think I serve largely as a role model of someone who has gotten out of her own way and over her own “story” to take on inspiring projects that enliven and expand my life and that of others.
In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?
Essentially, my artwork is pitched at the budding art collector. It is moderately priced and relatively small, so that it fits in a residential setting rather than a huge corporate lobby. I also have a series of “minis” that are small for those people who are downsizing, living in tiny spaces or urban settings, and are “gift-sized” and priced.
My courses are for those people who, like I did, have disempowering conversations about why they cannot allow themselves the time to be art makers and how they can break through those conversations to truly find their own inner artist.
Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?
I was my own biggest “naysayer.” I thought it was impossible to be an artist, but the universe works in magical ways, making it almost impossible for me not to own finally my artistic, creative self.
In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong?
I entered an early watercolor of some apples into a charitable art auction, pricing it at $65. It sold for $150! (Okay, maybe that was a “fluke”!) Selling those first seven paintings at my inaugural art exhibition started to challenge my negative self-talk about not having sufficient talent. Last year, I had two paintings juried into a national art show. It is getting tougher to believe the negative self-talk anymore!
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
As you know, “it takes a village.” First, I appreciate my boss, a former full-time artist himself, who cut back my hours and encouraged my artistic endeavors. Then, I am grateful to my friend who introduced me to the art framer for my first art show. Several friends purchased my early artwork and cheered me on. Of course, every art teacher I have had has encouraged me, and my painting buddies have been very supportive.
It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?
There are quite a few, but the one that I feel I can share is that, on the last day of 7th grade, I went with two friends to one of the girls’ homes. We were playing around and the other two ran outside of the house, ran around the house as I chased them, and ran back in the house, locking me out. I went home, crying all the way, and explained to my mother what happened. Later the girls came by with my report card, but I refused to see them. That summer, my mother taught me to cook and sew, using craft to help me get over the sadness and build my skill sets, as well as strengthening my personal resilience.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)
First, I think one must recognize that any version of “I can’t, “I shouldn’t,” “That’s not possible,” etc., is a disempowering conversation that has been learned over time. You were not born with those ideas. Those around you gave them to you; they are not natural. Fear is not God-given; it is a human phenomenon.
Second, recognizing that negative self-talk and fear are learned, human behavior, how can that be altered? One of my favorite quotes from the book Who Moved My Cheese? is “What would I do if I was not afraid?”
Third, whom do you admire or look up to? Who are your role models? What qualities do they have that you admire? What action would you take if you stood in their shoes for a little while?
Fourth, remember that the naysayers are coming from their own inadequacies and negative self-perceptions. It is about them and not you. You do not have to buy into their “stories” about what you can and cannot do. I have seen people in wheelchairs able to walk again and go skydiving.
Finally, on your deathbed, what would you regret not having done, said, or experienced in this lifetime? Are you willing to die with your music/art/creativity/forgiveness/love still inside you?
What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?
“Ah! But a man’s reach must exceed his grasp, or what’s a Heaven for?” — Robert Browning. My art business is “A woman’s reach.” Keep on reaching beyond what you think you can do, as that is where the gold is.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
People having the knowledge, skills, and tools to access their own inner creative flowering and having the world recognize all the arts as important as athletics.
Can our readers follow you on social media?
I am on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and Tumblr under my name or “A Woman’s Reach” as well as my website, penneydepas.com.
