Day: October 22, 2021

Frank Perri Of Philadelphia Hypnosis: Five Things We Can Do To Develop Serenity And Support Each…

Frank Perri Of Philadelphia Hypnosis: Five Things We Can Do To Develop Serenity And Support Each Other During These Anxious Times

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Learn Self-Hypnosis. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a skill that I teach to nearly every single one of my clients, and which I use every day, which is self-hypnosis. This is a skill that I believe everyone could benefit from. It comes in lots of different forms, and when you get really good at it, you can do it basically anywhere. I recently used it when running a tough mudder obstacle course and needed a boost of focused commitment to run up the side of a 12 foot quarter pipe. While I was watching everyone who hesitated slide down, I hypnotized myself mid-race to clear it and did so on the first try.

As a part of my series about the the things we can do to develop serenity and support each other during anxious times, I had the pleasure of interviewing Frank Perri.

Frank Perri is a certified professional hypnotist, and the director of Philadelphia Hypnosis Center. He uses therapeutic hypnosis techniques to help his clients learn how to use their minds more effectively to quit bad habits like smoking cigarettes, find the drive to jump start new healthy habits like exercising, and to overcome negative emotions like fear, stress, or anxiety.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

In a way, I found this path by mistake. I first got into hypnosis when I was in college. At the time I was majoring in Theatre to be a performer. In addition to acting, I also performed a lot of magic. The school I went to was known as a party school, and I would practice new magic throughout the week and perform on the weekends at parties. I began getting the reputation of “Frank the Wizard” or “Magic Frank.”

One of the magic teachers I followed started putting out products on what would now be called Street Hypnosis, which is pretty much hypnotizing strangers on the street for fun. I went to his workshop in Vegas and found I actually had a real talent for it. I brought my skills back to the parties and started hypnotizing my friends. So, for a time, my aspiration shifted to doing comedy stage hypnosis. However the bigger rabbit hole that opened up for me was the psychology behind it all, and I was hooked on learning as much as I could. Pretty soon I started learning about therapeutic applications of hypnosis and trained under as many teachers as I could find. Here I am, over a decade later, still practicing, still learning, and still finding there’s even deeper to go.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

Wow, there are so many ways I could answer this. I think the stories that fascinate me most are the ones where I tried something I wasn’t sure was possible, and we proved it to be possible.

Here is the story of how, by request, I hypnotically erased my roommate’s memory for almost 2 months. A few years ago, my roommate and I were having a conversation about how unfortunate it is that you can only experience stories (whether books, movies, video games) for the first time, once. Especially if there’s a twist — you will always know that twist is coming. (I’ll never be able to watch Fight Club again and not know who Tyler Durden is.) In that conversation, the idea was born of hypnotizing someone to forget a movie or a book so that they could experience it for the first time again. We thought this would be possible because I create hypnotic amnesia all the time. In shows it’s often used for fun, like making someone forget the number 4, or not being able to remember what their name is.

We tested this by rewatching the Matrix, and it worked like a charm. Now the really interesting thing is what happened next. My roommate wanted me to hypnotize him to forget the Mass Effect Trilogy, which, for those who don’t know, is a video game series — we are talking about upwards of 100 hours of gameplay, so I would have to hypnotize him to forget this thing for weeks, if not months. I legitimately did not know if hypnotic amnesia would last that long. I took some time to devise a strategy, and began erasing! I was honestly surprised by how well it worked. I watched him replay this series for weeks and be surprised at every plot twist, every choice. He reported it was all fresh to him.

What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?

I think a big challenge for anyone in the healing space, specifically, is to remember that we are human and that we need help and care too. There is an easy trap to get stuck in, maybe it’s pride, where it’s easy to think that because I help people solve all these problems in their lives that I should have all my problems easily handled. That’s just not true. For example, I lost someone close to me not that long ago and while I knew what I should have been doing and I had the tools for healing, I recognized that it was too much for me to do alone, and so I hired a therapist. While our days are spent helping others, it’s important not to forget about our own needs as healers. We often need help too.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

If we’re talking about leadership, I have to share my favorite quote on leadership, which is, “True Leaders don’t make followers, they make more leaders.” If you can inspire those around you to be more and if you can help people feel like they themselves and their work is important, or feel connected to a team/ community, they will be both happier and more productive. Find the potential in those around you, and shine a nurturing light upon it.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Tough question, I could go in several different directions. A book I read a few years ago that sent me down a whole rabbit hole was “Why we sleep” by Matthew Walker. It’s a book I’ve basically been recommending to everyone since I read it. I’ve always known that sleep was vital to our wellbeing, but the book put that into a much clearer perspective. For me it influenced two changes. First I’ve made getting better sleep a priority in my life, and I really have felt the difference in my day to day as a result. Additionally, it inspired me to start focusing on diving deeper into sleep science and focusing more of my hypnotherapy practice on helping others achieve healthier sleep.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Many people have become anxious just from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle. The fears related to the coronavirus pandemic have only heightened a sense of uncertainty, fear, and loneliness. From your experience or research what are five steps that each of us can take to develop serenity during such uncertain times? Can you please share a story or example for each.

Make serenity a practice. In my experience, if you want to develop more serenity, it helps to think of it as a practice; a practice you can continue to develop. It is common to look at something like serenity and just think, “I don’t have that,” as if this is a static fact of your life. I like to teach my clients to think of everything as a skill. You can teach yourself serenity, just like you can teach yourself to play a guitar. This also takes much of the pressure off of getting it perfect right away. If you never touched a guitar before, it would be absurd for me to hand you one and ask you to play me some Hendrix. We all start somewhere. Admitting to yourself that you’re not as serene as you’d like to be is the first step. Once you accept that, you can simply start practicing day by day. This might seem like a subtle shift in mindset, but for many it’s a massive one. I work with so many clients trying to make changes in their lives, and they can’t see the journey forward because they think the change is like an on-off switch. Instead, think of it like a dimmer switch where you will gradually develop the skill of serenity. The other value of viewing serenity as a practice is that, like many skills, if you don’t use it you lose it. Thus, it’s important to continue practicing serenity throughout your life. Over time it becomes more automatic, but you’ll never play that Hendrix song if you don’t start by first practicing your scales.
Limit how much news you consume. I think It is so appropriate that you mentioned the news cycle earlier, because all this doom and gloom, itself, can become addicting. There is a simple rule of the mind: What you focus most on will become your reality. If you obsess on the stressors in your life, you will be more stressed. I had a client who came to see me for this exact reason. Let’s call him David. David was addicted to checking the news. He was smart enough to realize that every time he saw the news, he got angry about what he was seeing, and yet he compulsively kept checking every time he had a moment free. As his world view became increasingly infuriating day by day, and his anxiety skyrocketed. I think many of us can relate to this in these times of unrest, when so much of the news is negative. We want to stay informed, and it is important to do so, however much of the news is just more of the same. I think most of us are familiar with the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” One of the big problems with much of the news is it focuses on these enormous problems that most of us feel powerless to do anything about. What’s the point when nothing you do feels like it makes any difference? A mindset of powerlessness can easily overwhelm us when we focus too much on giant world problems. However, there are many things that are well within our power to control, and we can often miss them because they feel small and insignificant. Trust me, they aren’t. When David finally broke his obsession with checking the news, he found that he was able to calm down much more easily by focusing instead on positive things in his life. For him, this was his business and his family. The last time I spoke with David, he said he was only checking the news a few times a week, and was feeling so much happier.
What you focus on profoundly sets your mood, so choose what you focus on carefully.
Keep a Gratitude Journal. I’d like to take a moment to expand upon a fact about our minds to really hammer home what I feel is an important lesson. When you introduce an idea into the subconscious mind, and the subconscious mind accepts it as true, your body will manifest that idea into reality. This is how, if you’ve ever seen comedy hypnosis, the woman on stage suddenly can’t remember her name, or starts behaving as if she’s a wild animal. No matter how absurd, if her subconscious mind accepts that idea, she will act on it impulsively. In my time as a hypnotist, I’ve seen and performed some crazy feats just by hypnotically suggesting ideas to the subconscious mind. I’ve had people completely hallucinate flying through the sky, start feeling woozy from drinking water they thought was Vodka, have their feet feel so heavy they literally couldn’t lift them off the ground. I use these somewhat absurd examples to really drive home the fact that ideas are powerful! Hypnosis is not the only way of introducing ideas in the mind, it is simply a tool to shortcut the process. Our minds are constantly absorbing ideas from the world around us. So where a moment ago we talked about minimizing negative ideas entering your mind, you can profoundly influence your mental state by practicing introducing ideas that will help you in the direction that you want to go. One simple technique I teach many of my clients working to overcome anxiety, and that anyone can start doing today, is the practice of gratitude journaling. It might sound weird to some people (I was one of those people once upon a time), but I’ve seen both in my life and in my client’s lives the impact it can make over time. If you’ve never heard of it, all you do is set a timer — I’d recommend 5–10 minutes to start — and just write down everything you are grateful for in your life. It can be big or small, and from any area of your life. Look for things you take for granted. Do you have a house to go back to, do you have friends or family who love you, did you have a tasty breakfast? Our brains tend to glance over the countless tiny positive aspects of our lives when they become commonplace, however as you develop an eye for all the good things that are happening in your life, your life outlook starts to rise. I won’t say that you won’t feel stress, pain, or worry, but they will sting less because it can profoundly help you feel like there is more good in your life. You’ll feel more hopeful, even serene.
Prioritize getting better sleep. I alluded to this earlier. It might seem simple, but I can’t stress enough how much a healthy full night’s sleep can profoundly impact our mental and physical wellbeing. So many of us see sleep as a waste of time, and prefer burning the candle at both ends. There’s this pervasive “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” mentality, throughout our culture, that is clearly impairing the quality of our lives.
Since we’re talking about serenity, take a moment to think about what you imagine serenity to feel like. I’ll bet you it feels well rested, doesn’t it? I bet you it doesn’t feel like being jacked up on caffeine after only 5 hours of sleep. Even if we were to look at sleep from a strict utilitarian, productivity point of view, prioritizing sleep still makes sense. The research is actually quite clear that when well rested, you can accomplish more in less time. There are a growing number of companies that are putting nap rooms in their offices to make sure their work forces get enough sleep because they’ve realized a well rested work force not only accomplishes more, but also makes fewer mistakes. There are countless guides on how to get better sleep. If you’re not familiar with them, simply google “sleep hygiene.” What I want to emphasize here is committing to a mindset of prioritizing sleep. Returning to the theme of subconscious ideas, when you feel something is important, you will automatically make more time for it. These days we hear more and more about burnout because people are doing the opposite. They are focusing all of their attention on working as much as they possibly can. That’s what they feel is important, and they are giving more and more of their time to the hustle. I can’t count the number of clients I’ve supported with sleep pattern issues. Obviously, I do this with my clients who come to me specifically to sleep better. However, I also help many of my other clients improve their sleep: weight loss clients improve their impulse control when well rested, and clients suffering from heightened stress and anxiety benefit from higher quality sleep. If a well rested mind and body doesn’t invite in more serenity, I don’t know what will.
Learn Self-Hypnosis. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a skill that I teach to nearly every single one of my clients, and which I use every day, which is self-hypnosis. This is a skill that I believe everyone could benefit from. It comes in lots of different forms, and when you get really good at it, you can do it basically anywhere. I recently used it when running a tough muddier obstacle course and needed a boost of focused commitment to run up the side of a 12 foot quarter pipe. While I was watching everyone who hesitated slide down, I hypnotized myself mid-race to clear it and did so on the first try.

From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to effectively offer support to those around us who are feeling anxious? Can you explain?

Get buy-in. We all want to help those we care about. However, as well intentioned as we may be, a step that is often skipped is getting buy-in. Does that person want your support or help? This can be difficult if the answer is, “no.” We might feel powerless, but I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t help someone who doesn’t want your help. Best case scenario: they will probably ignore your help. Worst case scenario: They’ll feel infringed upon and resent you for your unsolicited help. An added benefit of this step is that, by giving them a choice, you instill them with a small sense of agency. A simple way to get buy-in is to simply ask, “Do you need anything?” or “Can I support you here?” Then respect their answer.
Rapport, rapport, rapport. There was a study done to determine among various therapeutic, coaching, and wellness modalities what the common factors were among the most practitioners who saw the most success with their clients. The number one factor across all modalities was the practitioner’s ability to develop a strong rapport with their client. If you ever study any kind of influence or persuasion, rapport is a key step.
So if you want to help support someone, you’ll want to find any way to develop and maintain that rapport with them.
“Ears, Mouth, or Feet?”. Once you have buy-in, you’ll want to find out what they need, or how best to support them. This can be more or less difficult for different people, because not everyone necessarily knows what they need. Generally speaking, however, a good first step is to make space for them to express themselves. A useful mnemonic device I go to whenever someone seems upset is to start by offering my ears, my mouth, or my feet.
–Ears means they want to be heard. They want me to simply listen to them without feedback or critique. Maybe I’ll reflect back what I’m hearing, but “ears” means you reserve your judgement unless asked for it later. Unless otherwise requested, I will usually default to this to get started. The feeling of being really heard and understood is a powerful nutrient many of us crave. When you offer someone your attention, that alone can often be a powerful source of support. Mouth means they want to discuss something, or maybe they want your advice. This is where you are more welcome to offer critiques or interpretations of a situation. However, you’ll still want to be listening to them authentically. “Mouth” is not an invitation to bulldoze them with your opinions. We often want to jump straight to this step, because we think we can solve their problems. This is powerful when asked for, but can be insulting when unwanted. Feet means they want to be left alone and given space. You might ask them if you can follow up or check in with them later, and if so when? (Minutes? Hours? Days?) This one is the simplest, but sometimes one of the hardest for some to simply walk away. However, by respecting their wishes, you are actually supporting them by giving them what they ask for.
Nourish them. This starts getting more subjective, but when I’m helping someone, I often think in terms of, what nutrient does this person need? Obviously when we are hungry we eat, when we’re thirsty we drink. However we have emotional needs as well. When we are lonely, we need connection. When our bodies feel stiff, some sort of movement or exercise might be called for. If, while maintaining rapport, and listening keenly, you recognize a nutrient that person is starving for, see if there is a way you can provide it, or move them towards obtaining it. This may be as simple as sharing this insight. Again, it’s common when people are starved for a nutrient long enough, they get used to it and don’t recognize they’re hungry.
Treat them as whole. Do your best to never see anyone as “broken.” People come into my office all the time telling me, “I bet I’m going to be a tough subject,” “I feel like a lost cause,” or asking “What is wrong with me?” When we are overwhelmed, it is common to feel like we’re broken. Remember, when you introduce an idea into the subconscious mind, your body manifests it into reality. You will FEEL broken. Don’t validate that story. Treat anyone you want to support as whole and complete. Do your best to see them as a totally capable person simply struggling with a difficult time. Subconsciously, they will pick up on this. It may be subtle, but it is a profound way to support someone you care about.

What are the best resources you would suggest to a person who is feeling anxious?

That answer is going to be different for different people. I’ll admit that I am biased, but self-hypnosis and hypnotherapy are very powerful for helping with anxiety. Finding a good therapist who fits with you is also helpful.

Additionally, find what nourishes you, and lean into that. Maybe it’s exercise, or music, being in nature, or writing.

Finally, please make it a habit to get a good night’s sleep.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

“Growth happens at the edge of your comfort zone.” I like this phrasing because it works on several levels. If you stay within your comfort zone, nothing changes. Do what you’ve always done, and you’ll get what you’ve always gotten. However the opposite extreme isn’t much more useful. If you move too far outside of your comfort zone, you’ll likely break down. The edge of your comfort zone is where the magic happens. I’ve practiced this idea for over a decade now, training myself to find what makes me uncomfortable but feels worth expanding upon and leaning into that edge. I’ll share something a little more fun I’ve started doing recently which is dancing. I’ve always wanted to dance, but I’m very intimidated by it. It always felt strange because I’m not at all shy in front of an audience, but put me on a dance floor and I have frozen up in the past. So I started taking lessons, going to social dance events, and discovered that I really enjoy it. I’m feeling my reservations peel away and making new friends in a new community.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I see so much division and polarization, and one thing I’ve realized is that everyone you meet, no matter their politics, religion, culture, whatever, they are simply trying to do the best they know how to with the tools they have available to them. If there’s one thing I wish I could bring to the world, it would be more community and more genuine connection, and the ability to really see each other. We are all connected on social media, but something I think is really missing is intimacy.

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

My website is www.PhiladelphiaHypnosis.com

I’m fairly inactive on social media at the moment, but I plan to change that soon. My handle on Instagram, Facebook, and twitter is PhilaHypno

Facebook.com/PhilaHypno

instagram.com/PhilaHypno

twitter.com/PhilaHypno

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Frank Perri Of Philadelphia Hypnosis: Five Things We Can Do To Develop Serenity And Support Each… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Jeanelle Ditto Of Blush Interior Designs: 5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More…

Jeanelle Ditto Of Blush Interior Designs: 5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

First and foremost, the top two — Declutter and keep it clean! Who wants to come home to piles and piles of junk lying around or have a guest over with their dishes in the sink and hair in the tub? Make it a routine to clean up after yourself. Not only is it healthy for your physical health, but it will lower anxiety for your mental health.

As part of my series on the “5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jeanelle Ditto.

Raised in small town Atoka, Tennessee, Jeanelle Ditto moved to Southern California and started her career in the medical industry to make it on her own. While working her way up the ladder in Corporate America, she nurtured her love of art and design. Founding Blush Interior Designs in 2017 was the culmination of years of passionate artistic development. Almost immediately, her unique design aesthetic and rigorous dedication to quality of service resulted in her becoming one of the hottest new names in the San Diego design world.

Thank you so much for joining us in this series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit more about you. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?

I’ve always been attracted to the arts; you hear that a lot, right? But not just interior design. I love all kinds of artistic people, circus performers, painters, inventors, even writers. Moving out on my own right out of high school I didn’t have the luxury to pursue anything creative. I went straight to survival mode and built my career in the medical industry. It wasn’t until after I became a successful medical sales rep and a mom, that I was able to go to college to pursue my degree in interior design. I learned so much — and not just what colors look good with what. I learned more about the history of where design comes from and the amazing people along the way that have brought us to where we are today. I have truly found my passion in life. I absolutely love going to work every day and meeting amazing people from all different walks of life. I love creating spaces that bring out who they are and what makes them feel their ultimate level of contentment, comfortability, creativity, and passion.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?

The most interesting part of my job is the people and their interests. “To each their own,” is a saying around here! I have learned so much about people and all the many different passions there are in this world. I try to get to know each of my clients so that I can really understand who I am designing for. Let’s just say this has brought me many interesting conversations!

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

I have dabbled a lot in different areas in Interior Design trying to find out what my niche is. While I have experienced different industries, there have been instances where I am speaking with clients and contractors and I use completely made-up words that do not even exist (LOL), but only because I haven’t quite narrowed down all those technical words just yet! Sometimes contractors will just look at me like a deer in the headlights and we just laugh and keep working through. I have never been a smooth talker, but I can usually say something that makes people laugh, whether they are laughing at me or not!

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?

I have the amazing opportunity to be the designer for an up-and-coming gym that is penetrating its way throughout the United States. I was brought on to add flair and fun effects; to take it to the next level. I just love commercial design and making things edgy and bringing in that wow factor. I think that shows in my residential design projects as well.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

I am a big supporter of WOMEN. I love helping other women, I love lifting them up, I love collaborating and rising as a team. One thing that you hear a lot today is the competition between men and women. This has always ruffled my feathers. I am not a fan of competition between apples and oranges. I love to appreciate men and women in a different light. One of my favorite quotes that I always keep in the back of my head is the following:

“WOMEN WEREN’T CREATED TO
DO EVERYTHING A MAN CAN DO.

WOMEN WERE CREATED TO DO
EVERYTHING A MAN CAN’T DO.”

I pretty much live by that, and I feel more powerful in doing so.

None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Hands down, my mother! She died suddenly just a month before my son was born and that was one of the most difficult and eye-opening times of my life. She was my best friend, my confidant, my leader. Losing her changed me. She lived her life not by what made her the most money, but what made her truly happy. When you are truly happy, you can change lives. I want to be just like that. I want people to remember me as someone who really enjoyed life and who was a leader and loved people and took advantage of the opportunities that crossed her path.

Thank you for that. Here is the main question of our discussion. What are your “5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More Joy” and why. Please share a story or example for each.

One of the things I hear so many times in the field is clients not feeling like their personal life equates to their work life. They go to work daily, work their butt off and when they come home, it feels like a letdown. People get inspired and stay inspired when they can come home to something that they are proud of. Something that brings in all the emotions one wants to feel to maintain a steady hard-working life. Think about walking into an ugly, uninspiring home, you, wouldn’t even want to be there, much less invite anyone else to come over. Throughout the pandemic, so many people have realized that having an inspiring, comfortable, and beautiful home is a necessity to be productive and happy.

5 Things you can do to help your living space spark more:

First and foremost, the top two — Declutter and keep it clean! Who wants to come home to piles and piles of junk lying around or have a guest over with their dishes in the sink and hair in the tub? Make it a routine to clean up after yourself. Not only is it healthy for your physical health, but it will lower anxiety for your mental health.

Third, add some color. What does color mean to you? How does it make you feel? Does it overwhelm you? Some countries and cultures have different meanings for different colors. Don’t be influenced by what you read. Choose a color that makes you feel relaxed or calm in your bedroom and living spaces. Maybe try something a little more fun that gets you motivated for your home office or gym.

Another suggestion I would like to offer is to bring in some cozy elements like super soft sheets, pillows, and blankets. There are very few people in this world that want to go home and feel like they’re sitting on a museum bench. Your home should not only look beautiful, but make you feel cozy and comfortable.

Lastly, a huge thing for me is smell. Fun Fact: I have very bad hearing…. I haven’t gotten it checked out yet because I’m not quite ready to start wearing a hearing aid at 40, but with such a loss of hearing, I feel like my nose is compensating for its loss. Sense of smell can totally change my mood. If I walk into my home and it smells like a spa, I can almost not see my kids’ toys laying in the middle of the floor or their underwear sitting right outside their laundry basket. Don’t discount all those senses that you have that can affect your mood and comfortability level.

Don’t settle for anything less than greatness. I hear so many people who say they are unhappy and miserable with not just their home, but also with their career, their relationship, their car, the list goes on and on. Get up and make the change for yourself. No one can do it for you…. No one! Stop being lazy. Don’t settle for the Ford when you can work harder and get the Bugatti.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might see this, especially if we tag them :-).

Everyone that knows me, knows Miranda Lambert is my girl! She is my soul sister. She is simple, yet complex. Sassy, bold and unapologetic. Rugged, yet beautiful. More than anything, she knows how to make people feel like they are bad asses like her! Yeehaw…. (That was Tennessee coming out right there)

How can our readers follow you on social media?

Would love a follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/blushinteriordesigns/?hl=en

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/blushinteriordesigns/

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

Jeanelle Ditto Of Blush Interior Designs: 5 Things You Can Do To Help Your Living Space Spark More… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Female Founders: Tiffany Hardin On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman…

Female Founders: Tiffany Hardin On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman Founder

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Ambition — Recognizing that your ambition does not mean your work ethic. Knowing that your ambition is a deep desire to build something radical that only you can create. Building that ambition with determination to succeed.

As a part of our series about “Why We Need More Women Founders”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tiffany Hardin.

Tiffany is the founder of boutique consultancy, Gild Creative Group, and is an award winning marketer focused on elevating the well-being of culture through strategy, partnerships and communications. Her work experience with entertainment, advertising and tech has allowed her to hold positions and consult with world class organizations — such Ovia, Target, HBO, Airbnb, WeWork, digitalundivided, Cobble, and Black Girl in Om. She spends her time working with ambitious brands on procuring diverse talent for branded content partnerships and strategy concepts. Tiffany is a self-proclaimed Conscious Hustler™ — and is launching a professional development course of the same name to help elevate a new generation of mindful leaders.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?

I always knew I was going to work with creatives — I was one myself constantly writing poetry, song lyrics and would perform in choirs, talent shows,etc. I realized that while I enjoyed my creative pursuits, it was not going to be my career path as a professional performer. I became interested in talent management and even managed a rock band in highschool which was the case study for me to go to Columbia College Chicago to graduate with a degree in Arts, Entertainment and Media Management. It was this experience that kick started my career.

In the early days, I immersed myself in the music business and marketing working for successful Black entrepreneurs and executives like John Monopoly, Mona Scott-Young and Steve Stoute. Working with these executives I learned a lot about people, business, creating opportunity, and getting things done big or small. I learned how to build budgets, manage relationships and delivery expectations. Chicago and New York City were the perfect cityscapes in my 20s where I learned how to harness my hustle. While I was in college I started a social metrics company, but by the time I was 25 years old with more experience under my belt, I started Gild Creative Group. My clients range from brands to startups to agencies to influencers.

My agency is a manifestation of my lessons and experience from working with moguls, talent and developing strategy and implementing tactics to amplify and empower culture.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?

The biggest plot twist in my career has been moving my company from NYC to Nashville, TN. It was not something I planned, but turns out was the best thing for me and my business — plus no state sales income tax! While I thought my next move was LA, God had other plans and I am blooming where I’ve been planted. The entrepreneur and tech scene here are growing — I love to see it!

Managing a large remote team has been challenging in the best of ways as we all had to over-communicate and be mindful of expressing our needs to get the work done and be collaborative.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

When I first worked for Mona Scott-Young, I was her assistant at Violator Management, and was responsible for Missy Elliott’s travel. It was my first week on the job, and I recently just moved into my new apartment. I went to sleep thinking all was well with Missy’s morning flight, and woke up to missed messages and phone calls. Missy had missed her flight, and I missed fixing it. I was mortified because that meant Mona had to handle it at like 5AM because I was asleep. I called her as soon as I got the messages, and she said ‘I hope you enjoyed your REM sleep. Keep your phone in your bed.’ It was a classic rookie mistake. The bigger lesson is, never assume your plans will go accordingly — and do not sleep unless the job is done! These days I don’t sleep with my phone, but I learned rigor in my work and expect my team to have these values as well.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

As a creative person, who runs a business, there are plenty of times when I was highly resistant to systems. It took me years, but I finally allowed myself to find the beauty in creating operating systems for my work. It has allowed me to grow and expand quickly. I am grateful to my operations team — Amanda, Nicole and Sierra for helping me see how supportive and easeful systems can be to progress the business.

In your opinion and experience what is currently holding back women from founding companies?

While I believe everyone should own a business, I know that entrepreneurship is *NOT* for everyone. I may have an unpopular opinion, but I do believe that the most successful businesses have three parts, a visionary, an operator, and an integrator. I think women who do not want to found, fund, and run a business need to be connected to other women who can support their zone of genius within a shared mission & vision.

Outside of this, I’m less concerned with women starting businesses, but operationalizing and scaling our businesses for peak performance and revenue opportunities. If we are afraid to go BIG, we have to examine what internal programming keeps us complacent?

Can you help articulate a few things that can be done as individuals, as a society, or by the government, to help overcome those obstacles?

If you would rather buy Kim K’s fragrance and not your friend’s products or services, then you need to quit or buy both! Please, buy the ticket, the candle, the membership, the combo package, share the post,provide a testimonial, etc. Be a part of another woman’s success story.

As a society, we should encourage women to grow in their ambition and provide tangible support which includes funding, mentorship, etc. Women need more than a few empowerment brunches, we need operations experts, sales experts, pressure tested systems support, etc. The government has resources, but it can certainly market those resources to keep up with the times, and how people receive and process information.

This might be intuitive to you as a woman founder but I think it will be helpful to spell this out. Can you share a few reasons why more women should become founders?

God Bless the child that has their own! Always have your own money. Get YOURS and inspire your sons, daughters, sisters, nieces and nephews with your ability to provide for yourself and your family — even if it’s ‘side money’.

Women have a lived experience that makes us uniquely qualified to solve problems and a resiliency that is unmatched. Just take a look at Sara Blakely & Spanx for inspiration & a testimony.

We have the ability to tap into the masculine energy of ‘getting it done’ and the feminine energy to ‘nurture’ the business; we have life force energy, and it’s in our nature to create, to care, to build.

What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a founder? Can you explain what you mean?

The myth that you have to have it all figured out before you begin is just one that I cannot disagree with more. I have made mistakes, faced difficulties and came through on the other side with more knowledge and skill sets than if I would have never made the decision to start my own company. I have built a network and team of powerful conscious hustlers that can jump into any situation and figure things out with me. Finding the right people to teach you, mentor you and guide you is all a part of the process of growing your business.

Is everyone cut out to be a founder? In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful founder and what type of person should perhaps seek a “regular job” as an employee? Can you explain what you mean?

I don’t know when this happened, but being a 9–5 employee has become villainized in recent years. Listen, I am the beneficiary of a father who worked in upper management for years before he retired. I have never missed a meal because of the consistency of his effort. That 401K money doesn’t hurt!

I do not think running a business full-time is for everyone and there is a spectrum to this depending on the type of business you’re running. There are plenty of entrepreneurs who started as employees and made the switch, or work part time as an employee or as an entrepreneur. Like missy said ‘Ain’t no shame ladies, do your thing, just make sure you’re ahead of the game’

Successful entrepreneurs know that if they are the ‘vision’, then they will need support, employees, contractors, and the like to bring it to life — they can not and should not do everything themselves.

One thing every founder must have is tenacity and emotional agility. As the boss, you are the head coach of the team — when things go wrong, because they will go wrong, can you still see the opportunity? Can you still lead your team of conscious hustlers and encourage them? Can you regulate your own emotions so that you are communicating your expectations?

Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your opinion and experience, what are the “Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman Founder?” (Please share a story or example for each.)

Ambition — Recognizing that your ambition does not mean your work ethic. Knowing that your ambition is a deep desire to build something radical that only you can create. Building that ambition with determination to succeed.
Support — Having the right team in the right positions is key. Your team is the backbone to your business and if they can’t run your business without you for a day, then you don’t have the right support.
Network — The value of your black book is priceless. Always build and maintain professional connections that could eventually come in handy when they’re needed. You never know who knows who and how far a good word can go.
Curiosity — You need to have a mindset of cultural curiosity. What is happening in the world, in the media, and keeping pace will help you evolve and grow. Your ideas will grow and develop over time but sometimes they will pivot and that’s ok. Having the ability to reflect on what matters and making the right adjustments is important.
Heart — Knowing that what you are doing is making a difference and putting your heart into what you do will eventually lead to a successful career or business. And you most definitely need a powerful heart to share it with the world.

How have you used your success to make the world a better place?

For over a decade, we have cultivated relationships with brands who prioritize their impact amongst diverse audiences and all types of talent/ practitioners who lend their craft and voice to execute hundreds of brand influencer campaigns that support innovative ideas, products and movements in the culture. As a nimble and resourceful agency, we best serve clients who thrive on developing culture stories that can be appreciated and shared. The result of this is cutting checks throughout the years for hundreds of thousands of dollars to talent, and being a diverse vendor for brands and agencies.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

It’s my ambition to raise up a generation of mindful leaders with my curriculum for Conscious Hustler. It’s meant to serve as a provocation for self-inquiry to help us align our intention, ambition and pursuit of excellence in the workplace and break down patriarchal ideas of our identity & worth being tied to our productivity.

12. We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.

I would love to have a private boozy lunch with Brene Brown. She has given relatable language and feeling, based on her research, to the complexities of how we relate to ourselves and others in the various aspects of our lives. Her work has changed my life more than a few times over. Plus, she’s Texan — and I love me a good fellow Texan.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

Female Founders: Tiffany Hardin On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Female Disruptors: Maddy Cretella of Landmark Hospitality On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up…

Female Disruptors: Maddy Cretella of Landmark Hospitality On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your Industry

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

The first piece of advice that has resonated with me is “measure once, cut twice.” Sometimes, we are too quick to make decisions or take action, and inevitably we have to use twice the time later to fix mistakes that could have been avoided.

As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Maddy Cretella.

Maddy Cretella serves as Director of Marketing and Engagement with a strategic plan focused on continuing to grow the Landmark brand as both a leader in hospitality and in business. Today, under her guidance, Landmark Hospitality’s reach has grown exponentially through impactful social, digital, and print advertising, as well as email campaigns by utilizing technology platforms and analytics. Inspired by the amazing industry contributions of her parents, Jeanne and Frank, Cretella embraces the opportunity to continue the memory-making culture of Landmark Hospitality as the family-run multidisciplinary firm looks towards the future.

My parents have been in the hospitality industry their entire lives — their first jobs were helping my grandparents with their family businesses. I grew up in the industry, chasing our family’s dream, so it just felt like a natural progression to follow that path.

Since I was already passionate about the hospitality industry, I just needed to find my niche when it came time to decide on college. My father handled the building and development side of the business while my mother was customer-facing, dealing with the day-to-day operations at the properties. I always loved marketing, and, at the time, the world of social media was exploding. This led me to complete my college education at Monmouth University, where I graduated with a double major in business management and public relations.

My lifelong fondness for events and celebrations led to my first industry role: designing wedding cakes. Shortly after, I found my niche in hospitality marketing, which involved embracing the excitement and creative side of the industry. Since my start with Landmark Hospitality in 2015, my role has continued to grow. I’ve learned that being part of a family-run business means wearing many hats and jumping in whenever and wherever needed.

Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?

Landmark Hospitality is a woman-steered organization, making me incredibly proud as we continue to increase our presence in the industry. I feel as if we’re paving the way, not only for companies in this industry but for businesses in general. It’s incredibly important to have women in leading positions to set the tone and act as examples for generations to come. Currently, Landmark Hospitality employs 214 women and counting! We’re proud to invest in the futures of female leaders in this industry by providing resources and giving opportunities to women, which allows them to hone their skills and create success in the future.

I am also the founder of Morgan Stillhouse, a distillery coming soon to Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. The distillery will produce original spirits under the iconic Stork Club label. The liquor industry, much like the hospitality industry, has been male-dominated for too long. I’m ready to bring my skills and expertise to this new venture and create space for more female leaders in another market.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

The first thing that comes to mind is when I posted a photo of my dog, Enzo, that was meant for my personal Instagram account to our main business account for Landmark Hospitality. I didn’t realize for a few minutes until I saw that people were commenting on the post. I was so confused! After that, we deemed Enzo the Landmark mascot — who doesn’t love a golden retriever puppy?!

From this, I learned that accidents could turn into a great storyline. It’s all about what you make of them. Experiencing something and learning from it is always beneficial in the long run. Now, I triple check my work before posting it on the internet!

We all need a little help along the journey. Who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?

My parents have undoubtedly been my mentors throughout my life. When I was a young girl, we fell into some hard times. I was so excited that my parents and I were moving in with my grandparents, too young to understand why we couldn’t live in our own home anymore. We stayed with my grandparents for three years, and it was in that timeframe that I saw just how dedicated my parents were to achieving the American dream. Hospitality ran through their blood, and they were determined to become a success story.

My weekends as a child were filled with learning the ins and outs of the business. On Saturday mornings, I’d be at our latest construction site besides my father, learning how to read plans. I would watch as a simple plot of land transformed into a magnificent structure. Saturday nights were spent by my mother’s side, trailing her through the restaurant. My first memories are from the Boathouse in Central Park, NYC and Lundy’s Brother’s Restaurant in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn. I was deemed the “hostess in training” at the mere age of six, as I’d follow behind my mother each time she sat guests. There is so much excitement in the air during service on a jam-packed weekend, which I quickly became obsessed with; witnessing a wedding was just as exciting — seeing the room transform from a blank space to an event in full swing, providing guests with an incredible experience.

In 2001, they started Landmark Hospitality with the opening of Liberty House in Jersey City, New Jersey. A whirlwind after that, fast forward 20 years, and here we are — multiple venues, restaurants, and boutique hotels. Their continuous hard work and dedication are the reason they are where they are today. They are an inspiration, and I hope one day I make them as proud as they make me.

In today’s parlance, being disruptive is usually a positive adjective. But is disrupting always good? When do we say the converse, that a system or structure has ‘withstood the test of time’? Can you articulate to our readers when disrupting an industry is positive, and when disrupting an industry is ‘not so positive’? Can you share some examples of what you mean?

I believe that it’s important to identify areas of industries that need improvement to enhance the field overall. If we don’t make a conscious effort towards change, industries and people will never evolve and improve. For example, at Landmark Hospitality, we pride ourselves on investing in the professional development of our employees. We want to invest in their futures, whether they decide to pursue the hospitality industry long-term or not. So many of these skills are transferable to a wide variety of career paths. Time management, communication, leadership — all of those attributes contribute to career development. We strive to provide our employees with an environment where honing these skills is encouraged and possible. This is our form of disruption. We stray from the “norm” of the endless hustle seen in the restaurant and hospitality industries, and rather seek to transform it into an experience that contributes to the larger picture of someone’s life.

Disruption can become negative when it manifests as an unanticipated obstacle — such as the pandemic. However, it’s about how you decide to tackle the challenge. Many throughout the field, including ourselves, had to quickly come up with solutions to survive. We quickly pivoted and highlighted our outdoor dining spaces as our main draw. We also created experiences for families during the holidays, providing them with fully prepared meals to take home and enjoy, expanding our grasp on the signature memory-making Landmark experience. We are constantly innovating and reevaluating our processes, including the continued integration of technology into our practices. Elements such as remote check-in and virtual keys cater to the sanitization of our facilities and eliminate the more mundane tasks in our practices. This allows us to spend more time on the guest experience and fine-tune our business to live up to our values.

Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.

The first piece of advice that has resonated with me is “measure once, cut twice.” Sometimes, we are too quick to make decisions or take action, and inevitably we have to use twice the time later to fix mistakes that could have been avoided.

Secondly, something that I apply to my everyday work: “say yes and show up.” We miss 100% of the opportunities we don’t take a chance on. Even if it’s out of your comfort zone, go to the networking event — you never know who you’ll meet, the ideas you’ll come up with, or the great things that could come from it.

Lastly, “when you know better, do better.” Never stop learning. It is imperative to continuously be open to learning from others with an open mind. Going off of my last point, you never know what opportunities you’re missing out on when you’re unwilling to hear different perspectives, learn from others, and have new experiences.

We are sure you aren’t done. How are you going to shake things up next?

I believe it is critical to always stay relevant by continuing to learn about the industry. I constantly stay on top of trends in the industry and try to apply them to Landmark Hospitality as a means of exceeding guest expectations. Looking towards the future, I am eager to immerse myself further into the operations side of hospitality. As we grow our brand, we are becoming a lifestyle company, expanding our offerings beyond restaurants and events. I hope to continue this trend as we evolve our company to continuously innovate new ways to create our signature memory-making experiences for our guests.

I’m also excited to expand my real estate portfolio — 2018 marked my first entry into the field with the acquisition of The Farmhouse in Hampton, NJ, and, in turn, adding it to the iconic Landmark Hospitality Portfolio. This historic treasure will soon go under development and will grow to include a second event space, boutique hotel, and restaurant.

I also want to continue to develop the hospitality school we started, Art of Hospitality Workers Alliance. It is a well-

respected Hospitality School that introduces the underemployed and unemployed to entry level positions in

hospitality. This is all reinforced with the inclusion of life skill classes such as Financial Literacy, ESL (English Second

Language) and GED offered to all who participate. Additionally, Art of Hospitality helps those already in the industry unveil their potential and grow their talents and business, thus being afforded the opportunity for advancement through higher-level classes and coaching. The mission of the foundation is to support the needs and dreams of hospitality workers by offering career paths, growth opportunities, and propelling career advancement while offering financial support. We are committed to acting as a safety net for hospitality workers in New Jersey and believe that the hospitality industry is one that provides endless opportunities for all. It is an industry in which an individual’s achievements are limitless so long as they possess a willingness to learn and have a passion for giving.

In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by ‘women disruptors’ that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?

I think the biggest challenge is being a woman in a male-dominated field. It’s so important to empower female leaders in these male-led sectors so that future generations have role models, someone’s footsteps to follow. Pioneering new ways of inclusion can be a rocky road at many points, but knowing that the work I do now can impact a young woman breaking into the industry years from now inspires me to continue moving the needle. It’s the same way in the liquor industry, and I hope to continue breaking into new industries to help set a larger precedent for generations of female leaders to come.

Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?

I recently started listening to the Hospitality Hangout podcast. It is an excellent resource to learn more about trends and technology advances in the field. The podcast hosts touch on so many different avenues, from guest retainage to improving online ordering. Across the board, it’s super informative. It’s always exciting to hear topics that they discuss and be able to relate something that we’re doing. For example, we implemented keyless check-in for our hotels — next thing I know, they’re talking about it on the podcast! I love listening to the show to learn more about how others are navigating the industry, and these different perspectives have been helpful as our company grows.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

Landmark Hospitality started an initiative that facilitates schools for adults with Autism to come to our restaurants and learn basic hospitality skills. From polishing silverware, to folding napkins and cutting vegetables, program participants refine skills that we hope they can utilize to get a job in the field of hospitality. We aim for this program to give individuals experience that they can use to build a career for themselves through learning the ropes of hospitality firsthand. My hope is that one day all restaurants partake in a similar program, because you meet so many beautiful people and contribute directly to their success — nothing is better than watching them thrive. One story that we often think of is that of Angel, a line-cook at one of our restaurants, Liberty House; he started coming to Liberty House with his classmates as a part of the program. When he graduated, he was hired as a member of the back of the house team. Fast forward to today, Angel makes every pasta we serve to our guests — from linguine to raviolis and everything in between. It has been incredible to watch him grow and blossom into an integral part of, not only our internal team, but a major contributor to the experiences of our guests.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

My favorite quote is, “Want blue skies? Grab a paintbrush.” It’s a saying that my father has been telling me since I was a little girl that I still carry with me today. It simply means that anything you put your mind to, you can achieve — only you are in control of your destiny. He instilled in me that everyone wants the best, but not everyone is willing to put in the work to get there. The only way to get to the top is to start climbing — the view is always worth the blood, sweat, and tears.

How can our readers follow you online?

LinkedIn: Maddy Cretella
Instagram: @wearelandmark
Website: https://www.landmarkhospitality.com/

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

Female Disruptors: Maddy Cretella of Landmark Hospitality On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Female Founders: Sonia Khemiri of Beautyque NYC On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed…

Female Founders: Sonia Khemiri of Beautyque NYC On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman Founder

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Don’t be afraid of failure: Failure is inevitable at one point or another for every business founder. Learn to appreciate failure as an experience that will lead to something greater. Everyone tends to fear failure, but everyone reacts to it differently. Never let fear hold you back from doing something.

As a part of our series about “Why We Need More Women Founders”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sonia Khemiri.

Sonia is the owner and co-founder of Beautyque NYC, the first multi-brand 3D virtual store in the beauty industry. She is a French-born, Tunisian and Canadian female entrepreneur who has started many businesses since the age of 27. In addition to holding an MS in Finance, she is also the founder of her own skincare brand, Sunia K. Cosmetiques Authentiques, and is a mom to a teenage daughter.

My path to becoming an entrepreneur started when I was a child. My father is an entrepreneur, and since a young age I’ve admired his courage in facing challenges and his happiness when his hard work paid off. I knew that someday I wanted to be an entrepreneur since I was 6 years old, but it became clear as I was finishing my master’s degree in finance that entrepreneurship would truly be my path. I chose the beauty industry because I wanted to be in a positive space where I could uplift people and help women feel comfortable in their own skin. I started my own brand, Sunia K. Cosmetiques Authentiques, by supplying the best skincare oil on the market and sourcing it from my hometown in Tunisia. From there came the idea for Beautyque NYC, to help fellow indie brand founders overcome their challenges and market their products. We were originally meant to be a physical store in SoHo NYC, but when the pandemic hit, we pivoted to the innovative 3D virtual storefront that we have today.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?

The most interesting thing that happened since starting Beautyque was being approached by investors right after our launch — and not being ready for it. Soon after launching, we were approached by major investors with an offer that I’m sure most start-ups would only dream of receiving. We ended up not taking on the investors; we wanted to bootstrap first, and be sure that we had complete control of the direction we would take Beautyque.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Funnily enough, I would say that not moving forward with the investors (even if we weren’t ready for it) was our biggest mistake. Even if we didn’t have a solid plan at that time, after having to pivot our concept completely to the digital space, we should have taken advantage of the opportunity and figured it out along the way. No regrets here — it just made us tougher!

I’m always grateful to my dad for instilling the entrepreneurial spirit in me, even if he didn’t mean to — it’s in my DNA, and I’m grateful for that. I’m also grateful to my daughter, for grounding me and driving me to push forward when things don’t go the way I originally planned; to my partner in life, who listens to me and supports me in all my business ventures; and to one of my previous bosses, for the trust he had in the young and inexperienced me.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. According to this EY report, only about 20 percent of funded companies have women founders. This reflects great historical progress, but it also shows that more work still has to be done to empower women to create companies. In your opinion and experience what is currently holding back women from founding companies?

Fear of failure and lack of confidence, as a result of the lack of support women entrepreneurs have received for generations. In many countries, women (including myself) generally are not encouraged to be in business, and especially not business owners. Since my childhood, everybody has had an opinion on what I should be — a doctor, a banker, a housewife, a mother — nobody encouraged me in any way to be an entrepreneur, especially growing up where I come from. I’ve also met many women, young and old, who haven’t pursued their dreams because they believe they aren’t good enough, aren’t capable enough, aren’t educated enough, or are too busy fulfilling their role as a mother, daughter, wife, sister, etc.

I can only speak for myself and what I have observed. For a long time, women have been told what we should be, do, and think. Of course, there have been very powerful and independent women throughout history, but in the patriarchal world we live in, that’s unfortunately not the norm. The road is still being paved for women to take control of our destinies, and I strongly believe that all women should be supportive of one another regardless of our race, age, culture, religion, or anything else. To me, feminism is about standing up for ourselves as women and creating the lives that we envision for ourselves.

Can you help articulate a few things that can be done as individuals, as a society, or by the government, to help overcome those obstacles?

As individuals, I believe that we should encourage any woman who has a dream to pursue it realistically. What I mean is that we should not be blindly supportive and positive just for the sake of doing so, but rather genuinely encourage and uplift women to take on realistic business ventures that will bring them true success and happiness. There’s a saying, ‘You can put hard work into your land, but no matter how hard you work, if the land isn’t fertile, you won’t get anything from it.’ If a woman in your life is seeking advice, or asking for help — offering your guidance and resources is one way to do it. Share in one another’s success and spread your knowledge where you can. Supporting our fellow women is number one! We can be proactive individuals by associating with companies and organizations that support women in business, or even by creating these companies and organizations ourselves.

As a society, I believe that acknowledging the problem is the first step in finding a solution. The next step is to spread support all throughout the country, which requires marketing, and marketing of course requires money — which more private companies should be supporting. We’re starting to see venture capital firms helping women-owned businesses more and more, as well as companies helping women investing and more.

In my opinion, financial support from the government is the number one thing that should be done more. Unfortunately, injecting more money in these important causes are political decisions. But as policymakers, the people in power should recognize the value in supporting women-owned businesses and the job creation and economic growth that come from it. Many men in power support the cause, but more women in power should as well.

This might be intuitive to you as a woman founder, but I think it will be helpful to spell this out. Can you share a few reasons why more women should become founders?

Women in business are inherently different from men in business — not unequal by any means, but different — in terms of the way we think, the way we approach challenges, and the way we lead teams. We can observe this through many successful women-led businesses, for example, SPANX (the underwear/undergarment company) was created because the founder had a deep personal understanding of women’s wants and needs more than any man before her. Women should become founders because we bring a unique and much-needed approach to business and the industries that we work in, especially when it comes to serving women and children.

What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a founder? Can you explain what you mean?

The way I see it, being a founder does not automatically equate to being a CEO, especially for a start-up. You can have an idea, create a business, and fail (many failures often come before success). Don’t get caught up in the fancy titles… build your business to a point of success, and you will certainly become a powerful CEO!

Is everyone cut out to be a founder? In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful founder, and what type of person should perhaps seek a “regular job” as an employee? Can you explain what you mean?

As a founder, you are the originator of the company — the name says it all. A successful founder is someone who will lead that company to grow, build an effective team, generate income, and make the company successful. Getting to a point of financial success takes a lot of ups and downs, sleepless nights, problem-solving, predicting trends… It’s much more than a 9-to-5 job, and the icing on cake is that there is no guarantee that you will be successful regardless of the time and money you’ve invested. If the idea of high risk with the potential of high success thrills you, then being a founder is for you — otherwise, it’s best to stick to another job that makes you happy, because this is not always the happiest journey for everyone!

Believe in yourself: Even if no one is encouraging you, go for it. Stop hesitating, and you’ll figure it out along the way. Even if everyone says you can’t, listen to your gut and follow your dream. When I speak about guts, I’m talking about pursuing your goal no matter what external factors are working against you. As I mentioned, I was brought up in a very strong patriarchal society, and even within my family, as a girl I didn’t have the same opportunities as boys my age did. I never shared with them that I wanted to be an entrepreneur, because I knew what their reaction would be. No one encouraged me, and at a certain point, I thought that may be they were right — but my gut told me not to give up, and I’m glad I didn’t.
Keep going no matter the challenges you face: The odds are that if you remain perseverant in a space with high potential, you will end up on a different path than you originally thought, and it will be much better than your original plan! The path to where I am now has been far from perfect. My original plan was to finish my master’s degree, work in one specific field for 15 years, and start a business in that field. Needless to say, things didn’t go as planned. I got married, had a child, got divorced, went through unexpected hardships, worked in many industries, and ended up starting a business in an industry I knew little about at the time. I kept going, even though it was different from my original plan — the goal remained the same.
Don’t be afraid of failure: Failure is inevitable at one point or another for every business founder. Learn to appreciate failure as an experience that will lead to something greater. Everyone tends to fear failure, but everyone reacts to it differently. Never let fear hold you back from doing something. Before starting Beautyque and my own beauty brand, I tried a few ventures that didn’t succeed. Of course, it didn’t feel good in the moment, but I refused to let it define me. For example, I started a family venture in the marble industry; I did everything right (or so I thought), secured the funding, locked in wholesale customers before even spending the money for the factory, and in the end, it didn’t work out. Even though I put in the time and effort, in the end there was nothing to show for it, and I ended up having to take responsibility because according to my family, I was not meant to be a businesswoman. And from that experience, I learned not to do business with the family and instead pursue my own ventures — that was a great lesson for me!
Enjoy the ride: It’s easy to enjoy the ups, but don’t forget to appreciate the downs, too. When you get to a room without doors, create a window — there is always a way. Within the first year of starting my own beauty brand, I faced all challenges that start-ups face. Many doors seemed to be closed, but instead of saying “The market is too difficult for my brand,” I saw it as more of a creative problem to solve for my brand and for others in the same position. To my surprise, through starting Beautyque, I ended up helping even bigger brands than my own.
Be ambitious: Dream it, believe it, do it! I was born in France and lived there for 7 amazing years of my childhood before moving to my beautiful home country of Tunisia. However, the town we moved to was my parents’ hometown in the countryside, where there wasn’t too much to do for a young French-born girl. I dreamt a lot during that period — I live in NYC now, doing what I dreamt of doing back then. I guess by doing what my gut told me, I was able to achieve what I always dreamt about.

How have you used your success to make the world a better place?

I haven’t achieved this on the level that I dream of just yet, but compared to a few years ago, I’ve made people happy through my business, I’ve inspired people even when I didn’t realize it — in one way or another, throughout this entire journey I am making the world a better place. I’ve helped people with skin conditions achieve better skin through my beauty brand. At Beautyque, we give people the opportunity to test and review products that they otherwise may not have been able to afford. We support people of all gender identities and celebrate their beauty by curating products and brands that truly work. Beauty is such an amazing outlet to take care of ourselves and feel good — and the more people we reach with exceptional, safe, effective products, the more people will be able to enjoy their beauty and enjoy feeling great in their skin.

If I were to become a person of great influence, I would make sure that all indie brands with a strong mission, great products, and a business mindset could get off the ground successfully. I would give them the voice to be part of a change in an industry that needs to have more players. I would invest in minority-owned companies. I am talking about any community that is facing barriers — women, immigrants, people of color, LGBTQ+, etc. Clean beauty and mission-driven beauty would be a standard, and brands would have a positive impact on the environment and their communities.

Also on the other hand, I would help people of all genders celebrate their beauty by giving them the space to learn how to feel beautiful, and giving them the voice to be and act beautiful. The world needs beauty. The more beautiful we are inside, the better the world is — and I would throw huge parties to celebrate all this!

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.

For me, Gabrielle Chanel will forever be a prime example. Not only was she able to build an empire and change women’s lives, but through her brand she was able to leave behind a legacy for all women. Of course, I’m not Chanel (yet), but I identify with her in many ways. She came from nowhere, she did not follow the rules, she wanted to build an empire, and she changed women’s lives through comfort and luxury. She made her rules and let others follow, instead of the opposite. Since Gabrielle Chanel is no longer with us, lunch with her unfortunately isn’t an option — the closest person to her alive in my opinion is Oprah Winfrey. She’s a living legend!

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

Female Founders: Sonia Khemiri of Beautyque NYC On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.