Month: June 2022

Eden Garcia-Balis of Airport Marina Counseling Service: 5 Ways To Develop Serenity and Offer Support During Anxious Times

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

First, create a morning ritual. — This is typically the calmest time of day for most people, and while not everyone is a “morning person,” getting up before life forces you to move into high gear can pay some huge dividends. Most people make the mistake of staying in bed as long as possible. This results in rushing around and relying on luck to get out of the house on time. If one event takes you off course, you’ll be late.

As a part of my series about the things we can do to develop serenity and support each other during anxious times, I had the pleasure of interviewing Eden Garcia-Balis.

Eden Garcia-Balis is a licensed family therapist and CEO at Airport Marina Counseling Service (AMCS). Eden has been in the mental health field for over 19 years with experience in leadership and management of service programs, business operations and fundraising. Eden was the Executive Director of the Pasadena Mental Health Center. Eden has a passion for working with the underprivileged and underserved and believes all people regardless of their socioeconomic status deserve quality mental health services they can afford. Eden is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and brings a strong clinical background to her position at AMCS.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

Sure, I received a BA in psychology with a minor in criminal justice, and my first job was as a case manager for youth on probation. I quickly developed a passion for working with youth and their families. As I worked more with these families, it became evident that most of them were disadvantaged and of low socio-economic status, and I wanted to do more than provide linkage to resources for these families. So, I went back to school to earn my Master’s in Counseling and then my license as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Throughout my time as a therapist, I have worked in low-income communities, providing direct services to families and youth — many of whom would otherwise have not received the mental health services they need. I believe strongly that everyone should have access to services like these and that the stigma associated with therapy needs to be removed. Now that I am in management, I believe it should always be a core value of our clinic to provide quality mental health services to the underserved and underprivileged.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

Well, sometimes things are just meant to be. Eight years ago, I decided I needed a change in my professional life, but I wanted to make sure that the next step in my career evolution was a good fit. So, naturally, I created a list of the elements I wanted in my “dream job.” For example, it had to be a position where I was surrounded by supportive and committed professionals. It had to be a position where I felt I was really making a difference in the community I served. And it had to be engaged with supporters who believed in the mission of mental health as passionately as I did. So, when I came across the job posting for the Chief Executive Officer for Airport Marina Counseling Service (AMCS), I was thrilled. The clinic’s mission aligned with my core values and beliefs almost entirely. Their sole purpose is to serve the community and to help the neediest of families. Their job description literally read like the description of my dream job! I’ve been with (AMCS) for nearly eight years and have never been happier!

What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?

Being a Marriage and Family Therapist is very rewarding, but it is also very difficult. Working in this field can be very taxing on the soul. We often listen to very sad stories and tragic events and we may even experience secondary trauma. My advice to colleagues in the industry to avoid burnout is to take the time to refuel, and it needs to be a priority. Refueling may vary from person to person. Some may like to meditate and exercise while others take vacations. It’s important to know what works for you and to do it! That “you time” is critical when your job involves giving of yourself every single day. Burnout is certainly a risk, but if you remember that you can only help others when you, yourself are in a good place, it will help you focus on taking care of yourself so you can be there for your clients.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

First and foremost, I think creating a great work culture starts by not taking your employees for granted. At AMCS, we know that our employees need to be seen and appreciated, so we do our best to engage them in the decisions we make as a clinic. We encourage them to provide feedback and to let us know when things aren’t going the way they would like. It’s funny, sometimes the simple act of listening can make a huge difference in the culture of an organization. Everyone’s opinion and feedback matters and needs to be taken into consideration. Once those great channels of communication are established and it is clear that every employee is valued, you often see that it is easy to get everyone to row in the same direction and address the challenges faced by your organization as a true team.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

I love to read! “My Beloved” by Sonia Sotomayor was very impactful on my life and it resonated with me like few other books because of the similarities in our lives. To start, we are both women of color. Sonya writes a great deal about how she was always surrounded by family and how their influence impacted her life, her decisions and her attitudes. I have always spent a great deal of time with family, as well, and I see the many ways in which this rich family environment has shaped my own values. In addition, her journey to her position of power reminded me of my professional journey — sometimes being the only minority in a meeting, sometimes being discriminated against and sometimes questioning if I am right for the job. Sonia Sotomayor is a true inspiration. I admire that she continues to do speaking engagements with youth, sharing her story and giving them hope for a better future.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Many people have become anxious just from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle. The fears related to the coronavirus pandemic have only heightened a sense of uncertainty, fear, and loneliness. From your experience or research what are five steps that each of us can take to develop serenity during such uncertain times? (Please share a story or example for each.)

This is actually a difficult question because each person has different strategies for developing that serenity, so there is no one-size-fits-all solution. That said, I believe there are some universal strategies that can be helpful in developing that inner peace.

First, create a morning ritual.

This is typically the calmest time of day for most people, and while not everyone is a “morning person,” getting up before life forces you to move into high gear can pay some huge dividends. Most people make the mistake of staying in bed as long as possible. This results in rushing around and relying on luck to get out of the house on time. If one event takes you off course, you’ll be late.

Get up early enough that you’re not rushed in the morning. Exercise a little bit. Meditate. Read the paper with your coffee. Take a walk around the block. Mornings tend to be quiet and peaceful, and if you get up early, you can enjoy them.

Next, be intentional about how you look at the stress in your life. We all have stress in our lives. There’s no way to avoid that. But the people who are most successful in dealing with that stress are able to identify the stressors in their lives. Take some time to think about the ways in which stress impacts your life. Is it your kids? Your commute? Are you worried about financial issues?

Then, examine the ways in which you deal with that stress. Do you overeat? Do you distract yourself from those stressors with something that is unhealthy? Do you just sit and worry?

Now, try to develop healthier responses to that stress. Take time for yourself to meditate or take a walk around the block. Maybe, a cup of tea in a quiet place is what you need, or maybe, it’s calling a friend on the phone. What works for me may not work for you, but take the time to discover what DOES work for you and make time in your day to focus on that.

Another critically important thing to remember is that it’s not personal. Many of us are quick to take things personally. For example, if your employee doesn’t follow your instructions, do you assume they’re being defiant? If your partner isn’t affectionate for a day, do you assume they don’t care about you? The truth is that most of the time it’s not about you. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. The odds are excellent that you’re not the cause of someone else’s mood or behavior, so be conscious of that and don’t allow someone else’s bad day ruin yours.

Finally, an exercise that always works for me is to feel gratitude. Everyone has things in their life that are worthy of gratitude. What are you grateful for? When things seem the most challenging, it’s a perfect time to list off the things for which you are the most grateful. Is it your family? Your home? Your dog? Just recognizing the positive things in your life and being grateful for even the little things can change your outlook on life. Truly, this is one of the best habits anyone can create.

From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to effectively offer support to those around us who are feeling anxious? Can you explain?

This is another tough question because the cause of each person’s anxiety is unique, but supporting those in our lives who are experiencing anxiety is often about the little things and more often than not about what not to do.

First of all, be sure to remember that anxiety is normal. We all go through it in one way or another, so be sure to let those around you know that they are not alone. Often, just knowing that there are other people feeling the same what they do is enough to relieve much of the anxiety your friends or family may be feeling.

Be sure to validate their feelings. It’s OK to experience stress. It’s OK to worry about the world around us, our family, our finances. Those are all natural feelings that everyone experiences. Of course, the worst thing you can do is tell someone experiencing anxiety that they shouldn’t feel that way.

For example, particularly among men, there is an attitude that they should “man up” or “get over it.” With suicide being the №1 killer of men under 40, this is probably one of the most toxic things you can say to a guy. Instead, be supportive, show compassion and provide encouragement. Let them know that you know times are hard and validate their stress, but let them know that they are tough enough to overcome this and that you’re willing to help in any way you can.

At the end of the day, the best thing you can ever do for someone experiencing anxiety is to let them know that you are there for them. Be a source of comfort in their lives. Text and call to check up on them and remind them that they are not alone. Go out of your way to help them figure out ways to deal with their stress and even join them if it’s appropriate. After all, yoga, a cup of tea or a jog along the beach are all better with two.

What are the best resources you would suggest to a person who is feeling anxious?

Being perhaps a bit biased, I would certainly advocate that people connect with a therapist if they are feeling particularly anxious. I am proud that AMCS is filled with experienced, quality therapists who have the training and skills necessary to provide the best course of action for anyone who comes to us. And I would emphasize that there is no stigma in seeking help. We all go through difficult periods in our lives, and talking to someone who is specifically trained to help is an effective way to get through those times.

That said, I would suggest learning more about what anxiety really is and how to deal with it. There are many thought-provoking books out there that provide perspectives and strategies for dealing with stress. Books can help you have a better understanding about how you deal with anxiety and how you can create your own personal roadmap to a calmer and more meaningful life.

And finally, the best resource of all is yourself. Take the time to learn what triggers your stress, what helps you relieve stress and what helps you avoid stress altogether. Again, this will be unique for everyone, but not everyone takes the time to consciously examine their lives and look at anxiety and stress objectively. Once you do some of this self-examination, you may discover that you are better off avoiding the nightly news or that your attitude changes completely if you can get in that 10-minute morning walk. Many of us hold the answers to our anxiety within ourselves, the key is to take the time to unlock them.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

My favorite life lesson quote is “where there is change, there is opportunity.” When the pandemic hit, the organization I work for, Airport Marina Counseling Service (AMCS), was suddenly faced with a situation where our clients and our therapists were no longer comfortable coming into the clinic for face-to-face sessions because of COVID. For some clinics, that meant locking the doors and waiting until the pandemic eased. For us, it meant doing everything we could to make sure our clients were still able to access the critical mental health services they needed. Even though it was not part of our strategic plan, and we were flying blind on day one, we transitioned quickly to providing telehealth services to our clients. This allowed everyone to remain safely at home, but to still interact online. Now, as we are slowly emerging into a post-pandemic world, we have discovered that telehealth is a critical part of the services we can offer. It is not always convenient or affordable for our clients to visit the clinic in person to meet with their therapist. So, while no one expected or wanted the changes that came along with the pandemic, it is precisely those changes that created a new opportunity for the clinic to broaden its reach and treat more people than ever — especially those who are in desperate need of services without leaving the convenience and comfort of their own home.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I’d have to think more about this question. What I can tell you is that I’m part of the movement to destigmatize mental health. For years, mental health was something you didn’t talk about. Those that sought mental health services were thought to be severely mentally ill, and people would not seek services for fear of being perceived as “crazy” or “unstable.” Although more people are talking about the importance of mental health, there is still much work to be done to break this stigma. I would encourage everyone to talk openly about mental health and to educate themselves and others about what mental health really is. It is unfortunate that we do not treat mental health the way we treat physical health. If someone hurts their back, people rush to help. They shop for them and drop off dinner. But when someone is dealing with stress or depression, our first instinct is often to leave them alone. We need to recognize that mental health is every bit as important as our physical health and start devoting the same amount of attention to that. Normalizing mental health encourages people to get the help they need and reduces shame associated with getting treatment.

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

The best way to follow me is to sign up for AMCS’s e-newsletter at the bottom of our home page –https://www.amcshelps.com/ — and to visit our site regularly to find out what group therapy sessions we offer. The clinic has worked hard to offer groups that address everything from the holiday blues and parenting skills to transitioning into adulthood and LGBTQ support depending on the needs of our community. So, stop by and check out what we are offering. Remember, talking about mental health is important and AMCS is here to help.

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

---

Eden Garcia-Balis of Airport Marina Counseling Service: 5 Ways To Develop Serenity and Offer… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

“Don’t let other people define you” (I know, it’s six…). Many people can be attributed to this quote, but I interpret it to writing your own story. This doesn’t mean you have to do it alone, you can have advisors, counselors, who stress-test hone and improve your narrative, but it must be yours. This is the impetus and inspiration for my book “Be The Brand.” This is how you communicate in 3-D. 3-D for me is define it (who are you), design it (how do you want to show up) and deliver it (who will benefit from what you have to say). People want to know the story behind the career, the person behind the title, and the passion behind the person.

Vimeo

As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tamara Jacobs.

Tamara Jacobs is a seasoned personal brand and executive coach as well as a strategic communicator who has written several books and provides counsel to the pharmaceutical industry’s C-suite executives. Her particular path has been independently forged, and she has developed many ground-breaking strategies to cut through the noise and shatter assumptions. There is a reason Tamara has the trademark for “Success is a Planned Event®,” and in this interview shares how you too can become an effective purposeful disruptor.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?

Thank you for speaking with me. I resisted this career path for a long time because my mother was a professor of speech communications and I wanted to carve my own path. I think it is important, particularly for women, to step outside the shadows of their family, mentors and bosses — taking those learnings into their own specific charted path. I didn’t really have a plan at first. I ended up pursuing what I call a cacophony of careers, leading to the multi prismatic career quilt that is my legacy. I started out in theater, then television reporting, public relations and executive coaching — ultimately leading to where I am today, which is serving as counselor to the C-suite. The common denominator is communications.

Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?

Generally speaking, I don’t take prescribed approaches. I look at things from the 360ͦ level. What are we trying to achieve, what is the landscape, what is the green field, and how do we position a leader to achieve those goals? This is not the prescribed methodology, it bucks the most conventional rubrics. That said, I feel particularly, with the C-Suite in Healthcare, it is so important to be authentic, customized, and objective-oriented. I am a truth teller, who has built trust with benign candor. Feedback is just that, and an investment I make in my clients. The approach I use is refinement, not advice that could be perceived as personal weaknesses. To me, what we do is changing behaviors and attitudes. The actions ultimately speak louder than words.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Theater gave me the opportunity to understand if someone won, someone had to lose. I wasn’t afraid to perform, I was afraid to audition. I recently was working with a leader who wanted their visibility raised in order to support and enhance the overarching corporate reputation of the pharma company. I was excited to work with this inexperienced communicator, and realized quickly we shared the same fear — the fear of rejection, and the polarization of winning and losing. This was a catalyst moment in our working relationship, and I was able to build trust through relaying my own experience to empower her to show up, put herself out there, and to focus on the “what if” in a positive, rather than a negative light. You miss 100% of the shots you do not take.

We all need a little help along the journey. Who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?

One of my mentors was a male ally. People assumed he wasn’t the ally he turned out to be. He served as a mentor, and his advisory and sponsorship made an incredible impact on my career. He gave me significant opportunities because he invested in my potential and development. He was without nuance, or politic. He recognized talent that warranted cultivating, and he also demonstrated to me what leadership really is. Along the way, he was shattering assumptions about who he was and what I could become. As a leader, your success is measured by the people you bring along with you to succeed.

In today’s parlance, being disruptive is usually a positive adjective. But is disrupting always good? When do we say the converse, that a system or structure has ‘withstood the test of time’? Can you articulate to our readers when disrupting an industry is positive, and when disrupting an industry is ‘not so positive’? Can you share some examples of what you mean?

Disruption for the sake of disruption is always bad. Disruption, recognizing what can be augmented or amplified, with a measured approach is always good. First identify the opportunities, then look at the solve. For women newscasters for example, pay parity has been a significant challenge. But how did they address this in a male dominated industry? Through metrics, proof points, of better engagement and viewership. They did their homework on why they merited pay parity, not to justify it but to prove their worth. These women inspire me on the daily, and their approach as a coalition gives us many lessons in how to disrupt for good. An example of disruption for bad is everything being automated. Not everything should be automated, sometimes and in many cases a personalized approach drives better results. We can see this in the trends in advertising from call centers (automated) to banks that act like café’s with a human to human approach (personalized).

Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.

“Don’t let other people define you” (I know, it’s six…). Many people can be attributed to this quote, but I interpret it to writing your own story. This doesn’t mean you have to do it alone, you can have advisors, counselors, who stress-test hone and improve your narrative, but it must be yours. This is the impetus and inspiration for my book “Be The Brand.” This is how you communicate in 3-D. 3-D for me is define it (who are you), design it (how do you want to show up) and deliver it (who will benefit from what you have to say). People want to know the story behind the career, the person behind the title, and the passion behind the person.

We are sure you aren’t done. How are you going to shake things up next?

I intend to be a silo-buster. Cross organizational collaboration has never been more important, and how we get there is all about leading without labels.

In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by ‘women disruptors’ that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?

There is a need to make deposits in a relationship before you make withdrawals. I believe in the Shine Theory, which is not my theory but one I ascribe to. It means if you shine, I shine. We are invested in each other’s success, not one-sided support. It means as women we must help women, clapping in their corner, not watching for them to make a mistake. Women should work in concert, not competition. Men have long been considered as taking control, women as taking care. There needs to be a shift in this balance to work with male allies to ensure we support everyone, regardless of gender identity, and with our own unique superpowers, for the common good.

Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?

The book “The Medium is the Massage” by Marshall McLuhan. A particular quote in this book is the one I live by. “There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is willingness to contemplate what is happening.” We each have the power of predictive influence, and this was the jump for me to write my own book, “Your Ultimate Success Plan.” Assessing both risks and opportunities correctly will guide you to achieve your goals.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

This is a lesson I learned from my father who was a successful first violin chair. It took a great deal of rigor and discipline to quietly achieve his goals. It was never assumed he would always be first chair, he was constantly being challenged for his spot. He routinely faced competition during talent selection, demonstrating his playing ability behind a curtain, so you never knew who was performing for the judges. Everyone got a shot, which was democratic but also unnerving, having to continually earn your role. I would like everyone to earn their spot, to get on the field, play their best, and show up every day as innovative and results oriented. You should be prepared to stand on your merits, and shine as a result.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

My favorite quote is one I coined after years of counseling the C-suite. “Try yes first.” If you say no, you have closed the door and cannot walk that back. If you say yes, you are opportunity forward, and can always pivot based on the agile methodology of trying it out and testing it. So, say yes, and be engaged in the results.

How can our readers follow you online?

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamarajacobscommunicationsinc/

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

---

Female Disruptors: Tamara Jacobs of TJC On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your Industry was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Willingness to share success — Being successful does not happen without the support of the team around you. Everyone deserves to share in the success of the company. We offer bonuses to our team members in the form of cash, gifts, and even travel rewards. When the company is successful so are the team members who made the success possible. We know investing in our team is a recipe for a winning culture and for continued success.

As a part of our series about lessons from Thriving Power Couples, I had the pleasure of interviewing Andre and Erika Lacroix.

Andre and Erika Lacroix are the owners and creators of the EZ Breathe Ventilation System, a whole-house, maintenance-free solution expertly designed to protect your home and family, eradicating excess moisture, mold, toxins, allergens and other harmful substances to create a cleaner, healthier living environment for up to 7,000 sq. ft. The EZ Breathe system is unique in that it offers a complete air exchange, drawing in clean, fresh air and expelling stagnant, dirty and damp air, doing the work comparable to seven dehumidifiers with just one quiet, energy-efficient unit.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you two to your respective career paths?

We were asked to help out the family business and “see where this new product goes?” — Little did we know that our new EZ Breathe product would help change and define how homeowners look at their home’s foundations (basements/crawlspaces/slabs) as the biggest source of Indoor Air Pollution to their living environment!

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you two got married?

We were college sweethearts that parted ways while remaining good friends after college. The Universe had us crossing each other’s paths — randomly — over the following 10 years. We finally “figured it out” and were married on May, 17, 2003. Our eldest boy, Andre was born on February 17, 2005. Our middle boy, Anthony was born on April 17, 2007. Our youngest boy, Alex was born on June 17, 2010 — None of these dates were planned except for our wedding date due to availability of venue. What makes this all the more interesting is that Andre’s birthday is on the 16th of his month and my birthday is on the 18th of my month, our wedding anniversary and all of our children’s birthday dates fall on the 17th — — too coincidental to be a simple coincidence!

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

Without a doubt it’s our commitment to our customers, both internal customers and those we serve outside the office walls. Our company culture is one based on serving others. Our service vision “Friends Helping Friends” is not just a slogan to make us feel good, it is the foundation of all our decision making.

One of my favorites is the story of the Baby’s R Us Gift Card. We allocate a monthly budget for all of our employees to “WOW” our customers with an Above & Beyond gesture. Supporting our staff in gathering enough information from our customers in order to create a memorable WOW seemed like a big mountain to climb early on in our endeavor to accomplish this. Years ago, one of our staff members came to me with a WOW submission for approval for a couple who had purchased one of our EZ Breathe Ventilation Systems yet had very specific dates that the installation could be scheduled due to the upcoming birth of their first grandchild. She wanted to send them a congratulatory gift on becoming first time grandparents in the form of a Baby’s R Us gift card. She hit the nail on the head of actively looking for ways to WOW and go Above and Beyond for our customers. It’s still one of my favorites WOW examples.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

We have a completely re-engineered EZ Breathe Garage Ventilation System coming in Q2 and looking at Q3 for the launch of our new Smart EZ Breathe Ventilation System that will come with real time monitoring via our own EZ Breathe App. This new smart EZ Breathe will allow for more transparency real-time information for our users. Complete with temperature and humidity notifications to offer greater mobility and most importantly piece of mind for homeowners.

What advice would you give to other CEOs or founders to help their employees to thrive?

Training, training, training! Hire people for the skill set to match the job responsibility, train them on their service aptitude. Whatever your company’s mission and vision should be front and center as the leading factor in any decision. All employees trained to have a clear understanding of the expectations, particularly on creating a positive customer experience inside and out. Creating a energetic, winning culture is a recipe for success. One other thing, empower people to be creative and innovative, to try new things and the freedom to fail. Having a team that is willing to take a chance without fear of failure leads to tremendous opportunities and growth. Sometimes all it takes is for one person to believe in you for you to believe in yourself.

How do you define “Leadership”?

Leadership means you serve the best interest of others before your own, you set the tone, the example for others to follow. You can never expect others to do what you, as a leader, are unwilling to do. The COVID lockdown was an opportunity for us, the leaders to show our team that we would overcome and do whatever necessary to keep serving our employees and customers. My husband (our on staff indoor air quality expert who travels the country to speak on IAQ, Indoor Air Quality concerns and offers on-location training to our hundreds of dealers) took over the warehouse and shipping responsibilities without hesitation. When no one else was allowed physically in our building, he came in 3x times a week throughout the shutdown to keep our units moving to our customers. We also commit to our employees that they will never miss life’s most important moments — first day of kindergarten drop off — band recitals — 8th grade graduation — that important doctor visit — etc. We are often the ones filling in for our team members when they attend one of these important moments and the rest of the team sees that. We are simply setting the example of what we expect. Supporting one another, friends helping friends.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Obviously, my father for trusting us to take on this project years ago and providing the encouragement and support over the last two decades. Our team members have been invaluable contributing to our success by learning from our customers and taking their feedback to heart. We have also been fortunate to have had many mentors along the way to include John DiJulius, author of many books on the customer experience. Studying this methodology, we became hooked and dove in feet first. We read all of his books then I went on to graduate from the CXEA, Customer Experience Executive Academy in 2017. Recognizing that the customer experience is the competitive edge of the future, human beings crave connection. Genuinely caring for people and the experience you provide them cannot be duplicated in our quick to automate and digitize world. Humans thrive on connection. John and his teachings have been instrumental in creating our winning culture. Can you share a story about that? Recognizing that we can never expect our employees to provide a world class customer experience if they have never experienced it for themselves. All employees bring their own customer experiences with them when they come to work. Our internal culture will reflect through the experience our employees provide. This awareness created a shift company-wide.

What are the “5 Things You Need To Thrive As A Couple”? Please share a story or example for each.

1. Commitment to being better tomorrow than today — Be willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done, always evolving and growing.

2. Ability to learn and grow from failure — Learning and reflecting on how to do it better next time without getting caught up in the excuses of why it didn’t work and deflecting blame elsewhere. So much time can get wasted on blaming, rather than internalizing the learns from failing and using those learns as steppingstone for growth. As a couple this is especially true — giving one another the benefit of the doubt is one of our biggest learns to maintaining a healthy relationship.

3. Communication — Clear communication is critical. There can be a big difference between what you say and what the other person hears. I have my own stories of this, most recently we asked a new team member to stuff and ready envelopes for a big mailing to our dealers. I came to learn that this team member was unaware that we were waiting for one last piece to add to the envelope before it was to be sealed and sent. So, he proceeded to stuff and seal ¾ of the envelops before the mistake was noticed. Communication regarding the details of the task were clearly NOT clear. Learns abounded for both the team member doing the stuffing and also the supervisor overseeing the project.

But the most entertaining story I have regarding communication comes from my mentor John, he tells of a story where he had two of his son’s when they were little, like a toddler and a baby at Disney World resort. His wife had a well-deserved appointment at the spa which left him alone with the two very little boys and all that comes with them; the sunblock, the swim diapers, the hats, the diaper bag, the floaties, etc. He finally gets them both in the pool which seemed like it took hours to prepare for, the toddler says, “I have to pee”. So, Dad tells him to “just pee in the pool”. The thought of undoing all that they had just done to get everyone out and to the bathroom seemed overwhelming at the time. As Dad is playing with the baby, he hears some commotion only to look up and see his toddler standing on the edge of the pool, swimsuit around his ankles, PEEING IN THE POOL! He was doing exactly what his daddy told him to do, resembling nothing like what his daddy meant him to do. I love this story and use it often when training on clear communication.

4. Leave it at the Office — Knowing how to unplug and go back to Family Life is a tough one to master. We had to make a pact early on when work seemed to dominate all aspects of our life 24 hours/7 days a week that when we get home, we are home and not at work, family must come first. We are much better at it today after 20 years of practice, but certainly not perfect, but we are better at catching each other going down the rabbit hole of work when we are at home. Sometimes it’s inevitable, but that is becoming less and less! Carving out Family Time — Couple Time (YAY for Date Nights!) — and Work Time in more defined buckets has been extremely beneficial for all of us.

5. Willingness to share success — Being successful does not happen without the support of the team around you. Everyone deserves to share in the success of the company. We offer bonuses to our team members in the form of cash, gifts, and even travel rewards. When the company is successful so are the team members who made the success possible. We know investing in our team is a recipe for a winning culture and for continued success.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“98% of the time it has nothing to do with you” tied with “No one can make you do anything; you are responsible for every decision you make.” Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life? My father has repeatedly told me these things throughout my life and I find myself now sharing these with our children.

1. “98% of the time it has nothing to do with you” has been super helpful in not owning other people’s baggage. This has really allowed me to stay out of the drama that bombards most of us on the daily. Once you realize this is not mine to hold, or to fix or to worry about, it sets you free in a way. I see far too many people sticking their noses where it doesn’t belong or carrying a burden that is not theirs to carry and weighing them down. It’s also a great way to protect yourself from taking everything so personally — most of the time it has nothing to do with you. Acknowledging this and offering up grace and understanding instead of having the perception of a personal assault, or something being done TO ME is a game changer. Road rage is a prime example. I’ve never understood why someone else’s behavior on the highway has anything to do with you? I know that this is not a popular perspective as I am reminded of this often while driving with others who get personally offended by the behavior of others on the road…I always offer up another plausible (and much healthier) possibility that they may be racing to the hospital for the birth of their baby, or they got a call from the school that their child is ill, or they are late for a special occasion they don’t want to miss. I’m pretty certain they are not driving that way to upset ME — I’m really not that special after all, why bother with all the negativity?

2. “No one can make you do anything, you are responsible for every decision you make.” This is a big one. I am forever grateful to my father for again instilling this in me from a very young age when I wanted to blame everything on my little brother Nicky. Of course he was annoying like all little brothers are and would know exactly how to “push my buttons”. So I got used to the “Nicky made me…” excuse. Well, my dad was having none of that. He always reminded me when I was so quick to deflect blame that it was me and only me who makes my decisions. He encouraged me to never give up my power to anyone for any reason. I am the only one responsible for the decisions I make period. He went on to explain to my young self that if I were to have just witnessed my beloved dog get run over by a car and die, is there anything anyone could do or say to “make me” happy? Or if I had just won millions in the lottery is there anything anyone could do or say that would “make me” sad? Not sure I understood exactly what he was trying to teach me, but as the years went on and I collected more and more life experiences, spoke with a few therapists along the way too. I was reminded of his teaching when I had a therapist ask me to imagine my situation if I did not have “any buttons for anyone to push”. Wow! That was a turning point in my life for sure, I totally got it what my dad was was trying to teach me all those years ago. It is my choice and my choice alone on how I get to respond. “Harness your power Erika” my dad would say, “do not give it up to others freely, no one makes you do/say anything. It’s your choice, you allow others to influence you. Be very selective to those you share your power” This has been very helpful in the leadership roles I’ve been blessed to serve in my life. Personal responsibility is key for all leaders.

How can our readers follow your work online?

Visit us at ezbreathe.com or follow us on social media @ez_breathe_ventilation

Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.

---

Lessons from a Thriving Power Couple, With Andre and Erika Lacroix of EZ Breathe was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Women In Wellness: Andrea Engfer of ‘American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women’ on Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Many women think heart disease and strokes only occur in older people, and we don’t need to take care of ourselves at a young age. The reality is it can happen at any age. For me, it was high blood pressure during my pregnancy. I wasn’t aware a stroke could happen while pregnant; my doctor never went over the possibility and signs of a stroke. I hope my story can bring more awareness to potential mothers.

As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Andrea Engfer.

Andrea was in the final trimester of her pregnancy when she was told she had preeclampsia, a condition usually characterized by the onset of high blood pressure that is lasting and can lead to various complications. Five days after giving birth to her daughter, Andrea had a stroke. “I knew I wanted to share my story, but I didn’t know how. Six months post-stroke I ran a 5k for the AHA and then I knew how to share.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

Five days after giving birth to my daughter I suffered a stroke. The last 3 weeks of my pregnancy I started to have high blood pressure, also known as preeclampsia. That morning I woke up with a headache that became the worst migraine of my life. My husband took me to an urgent care and on the way, I let out a huge scream. After that I don’t remember anything — I became unresponsive. We arrived and nurses tried to take my blood pressure — My husband recalls looking at the blood pressure and it was 200/130. The doctor said, “We need to call 911 now!”

I spent 12 days in a medically induced coma and was then transported to a rehab hospital. Due to my stroke, I now have a vision deficit. I had to relearn how to read, write, talk and walk. I had to start all over.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?

Since becoming a 2022 Real Woman for the American Heart Association’s (AHA) Go Red for Women movement, so many doors have been opened to amazing opportunities. I’ve been able to share my story and inspire others through the nationwide Go Red for Women movement.

Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Strokes can happen at any age, to anyone. Don’t take your health for granted. When you are young you kind of think you are invincible, that you don’t need to see a doctor or worry about your health. But the reality is that your health needs to be a priority early on in life.

Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?

Go Red for Women is AHA’s signature initiative to end heart disease and stroke in women all over the world. People everywhere are coming together to act and stand together against heart disease and stroke in women. Through my involvement with Go Red for Women, I’ve learned that cardiovascular disease continues to be a woman’s greatest health threat, claiming the lives of one in three women. It’s important that we raise awareness of this so women do not have to go through what I did. I was supposed to be enjoying being a new mom. Instead, I was fighting for my life and that is something my family and I will never forget.

Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.

My main lifestyle tweak is drinking more water. I drink at least 100 oz of water every day and always start my mornings with an 8 oz glass. Our bodies are typically dehydrated in the morning, so drinking water first thing in the morning will help wake your body up. Water helps with energy, bloating and your skin appearance.

Another top lifestyle tweak is practicing self-care. It may seem simple but, it’s much harder. I’m a stay-at-home mom to a 2-year-old toddler and found it’s very easy to put everyone but myself first. I’ve been seeing a therapist since last July and I can’t explain how much better I feel. When I can unleash all this buildup of thoughts and concerns, it’s like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

My final lifestyle tweak is going for a quick 10-minute walk. I breathe in the fresh air and empty my mind — or try to.

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I would love to organize a women’s expo where women can learn how to work on self-care. It would offer different workshops to show women different ways we can prioritize and take care of things like mental health, exercise and general wellbeing. I think women would benefit from carving out time to do things like yoga, meditation, exercise, healthy cooking & more. Learning how to balance — especially for the moms always on the go — your own wellness with your loved ones is half the battle!

What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?

Many women think heart disease and strokes only occur in older people, and we don’t need to take care of ourselves at a young age. The reality is it can happen at any age. For me, it was high blood pressure during my pregnancy. I wasn’t aware a stroke could happen while pregnant; my doctor never went over the possibility and signs of a stroke. I hope my story can bring more awareness to potential mothers.

Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?

In April 2021, I celebrated my 1-year stroke anniversary. My husband and I went out to dinner, and I felt happy. The next day I suffered a seizure. I never had a seizure before, but I was told this could be a risk due to my stroke. It was terrifying, I thought I was having another stroke. I started to see spots in my right eye. I was unable to use my right hand and I forgot how to use my phone. Luckily someone was nearby and called 911. I spent 5 hours in the ER and the doctor explained I had a seizure. I thought ‘all this progress I have made, and this seizure stopped me dead in its tracks. A huge step back.’ Depression set in. I had been ignoring the signs because I was doing so well, or so I thought. I gained weight and cried all the time, feeling lost, scared and confused. I started seeing a therapist at my neurologist’s request. I knew I had to take it one day at a time. At the beginning of this year, I had made a huge progress in my health. Since January, I have lost almost 40 lbs. I want other women to know we may fall, and it may be more than once, but we must get back up. We are fighters. I am a fighter.

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

For more information on AHA’s Go Red for Women movement, visit www.goredforwomen.org

Thank you for these fantastic insights!

---

Women In Wellness: Andrea Engfer of ‘American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women’ on Lifestyle… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Trust: after being told that our dreams or goals are impossible we often start to believe this and question ourselves. It’s also easy to mistrust others. We should be open to the idea that some people actually want us to succeed and they are willing to help. Accept the help!

As a part of our series about “dreamers who ignored the naysayers and did what others said was impossible”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Yaniel Wynter.

Yaniel Wynter has been labeled as: a Survivor, an Alien, an Immigrant, and a child; however, while she accepts those tags, she now has a new description for herself. Yaniel Wynter is a 25-year-old nursing student working at Planned Parenthood of Greater NY. Yaniel also works as an Advisor on the Youth Leadership Board with the Brave House. She provides radical and honest feedback to the organization’s leadership on services offered by the non-profit and how they are beneficial to its members. She also assists with developing and implementing educational workshops for members, and she facilitates panel discussions about immigration, social, and gender injustice. Yaniel is passionate about women’s empowerment, social justice, and mental health and has demonstrated her commitment to these ideals in her work with our organization and its members. As a female immigrant herself, Yaniel has provided the organization with invaluable support and perspective that has allowed them to cultivate programming and services for the women and girls supported to best address their needs on both organizational and individual levels.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Can you tell us your ‘backstory’?

Some would say Yaniel ran away from home, and indeed, she did. I was born in Jamaica, and I

migrated to the United States in 2017. I lived in Alexandria, MN, where I was known as the new Black girl in town. I then relocated to the melting pot known as New York City. Shortly after being in NYC, I needed an immigration attorney, and that is how I came in contact with Lauren Blodgett, founder and executive director of the Brave House. The Brave House launched in 2018, I became a volunteer in June 2019, and in 2020 I became a Youth Leader and have been with the organization since. My immigrant story is a combination of struggles and determination. Being a young immigrant woman in NYC has been a challenge in establishing community and staying true to myself and my culture. The Brave House has helped me to share my story and celebrate my diversity and achievements.

Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I’m currently in nursing school. A nurse is very vital in the healthcare setting. While it is important to treat a patient’s physical complaint, it is very important to provide emotional care. Studies show that open communication and respect between a nurse and their patient has many positive outcomes, such as decreased anxiety. There is no universal definition for trauma. Trauma has long lasting effects on people and I believe that in order to provide optimal care to a patient one must be aware of the patient’s life experiences.This brings us to the health inequities that immigrant women often experience in the healthcare setting. Nurses spend more time with patients therefore I believe that nurses have adequate opportunities to improve a patient’s experience and decrease retraumatization. Often patients get unnecessary treatment because of lack of knowledge of different cultural practices. Immigrant women fear seeking medical care because of these disparities.

I want to get into the healthcare setting and get more people on-board with this emerging concept of Trauma-Informed Care approach. I am passionate about helping immigrant women and the healthcare field is a great place to start while I advance my career to Head administrative levels.

Alongside nursing, I am passionate about personalized care for immigrant women, young girls, and gender non-conforming youth. The experience is more than just statistics, and one size doesn’t always fit all. Being a part of the Brave House has helped me provide feedback on services and have them tailored to care for all members. One member may need housing while another struggles to find food. This allows me to navigate my career by scaling the individualized care immigrant women and young girls need.

In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?

The Brave House has an umbrella of services that cater to different needs of the immigrant experience. Most organizations only provide legal support or just housing resources. An immigrant needs more than just one. Having an organization that cares about a person’s overall wellness is hard to find. The Brave House is a community that sends birthday messages, hosts mental health sessions, and has events where members can meet and make lifelong connections.

I also work for Planned Parenthood of Greater NY (PPGNY). There is currently a threat to our community with Anti-Abortion Laws. Abortion is healthcare, along with other sexual and reproductive services. A woman’s sole purpose is not to be barefoot and pregnant. Pregnancy is a personal decision. PPGNY continues to provide non-discriminated care to all and prepares to get an influx of patients this summer from other states. I have seen immigrant women who were raped in detention centers or on their journey to the USA seek care at PPGNY. Patients travel from Texas to get abortion services. I am enthusiastic about becoming more involved outside of work by volunteering and attending protests to advocate for our rights.

Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?

In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong? 🙂

Migrating to the United States at 20 years old has been an experience. I was told that to succeed in NYC, I would need a husband and a family foundation because it is impossible to make it on my own. I was told that I was at a high risk of being a victim of human trafficking. Being a survivor of Domestic Violence made me very scared as I was trying to build a life of my own and not living in the shadows of a man. Having no family and community with cultural similarities has been challenging. The fear of the unknown is my biggest struggle, and the story is still being written.

After five years, I can proudly say that I didn’t need a husband to get me this far, and thanks to the universe, I have not been a victim of trafficking. Was it hard? Yes! But I have found a community of my own which is family. I am enrolled in college and working towards finishing my degree. I work for a multifaceted organization, and that’s one step towards helping young girls like me who are adjusting on their own in this big city.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Lauren Blodgett, the founder and executive director at the Brave House, has played a vital part in the person I am today. She provided legal support, but the care didn’t stop there. Lauren has the vision to make more immigrant women leaders in their communities and customize the immigrant experience positively. Lauren believed in me, a stranger, and offered me an opportunity to be part of her organization. She saw my potential and listened to my story, and decided that I would add a positive influence to the Brave house as a Youth Leader. We met in 2017 while she was an attorney at the Safe Passage Project. Lauren has been in my corner ever since, whether by telling me about internship opportunities, providing resources for job opportunities, or inviting me to join panel discussions. Through Lauren, I have made some great connections in this city.

A few months before the pandemic, I was going through a lot. Seeing my life unfold and accepting my success without feeling like a fraud was one of my challenges. I reached out to the Brave House and told them I was struggling mentally. Lauren matched me with a therapist, and 2+ years later, I have the same therapist. This has helped me accept that I deserve to succeed despite what others believe. Lauren and the Brave House have also matched me with a mentor to help me along my journey and to be a positive role model.

It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?

Growing up in Jamaica, I attended a female boarding school. At 12-years-old I was living away from my family and amongst strangers.There was no real separation from school and leisure and I was often homesick. Despite the challenges, our headmistress will always remind us that we are: “ leaders of the finest ilk, leading with integrity through God and by example.” This experience contributed to my independence and promoted my decision making. I was responsible for managing my finances, doing laundry, completing assignments on time and managing my time wisely. Migrating to the United States was like going to boarding school again- being homesick, living with strangers and making sure that I succeed despite the challenges.

Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)

1. Talk: I am a strong believer in telling your story. Repeating your experiences helps you to have a sense of self. Without this you may think that you are undeserving but your story reminds you that you are deserving.
2. Visualization: people often get scared of outcomes but what if we mentally rehearse scenarios? Training the brain to face reality head-on and allow ourselves to plan and take actions.
3. Intrinsic Motivation: we all need to find that inner drive that is rewarding to us. This allows you to become creative and find ways to prove the naysayers wrong. This could be breaking down projects into smaller tasks once you become stuck.
4. Recharge: as much as we would like to work endlessly, we cannot constantly expect the same amount of productivity. We cannot burn the candle at both ends instead we should invest in self care and taking a break when needed.
5. Trust: after being told that our dreams or goals are impossible we often start to believe this and question ourselves. It’s also easy to mistrust others. We should be open to the idea that some people actually want us to succeed and they are willing to help. Accept the help!

What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?

In the Brave house members often get asked the question, ‘What does Brave mean to you?’ I often say, “ the word Brave means being courageous and dauntless. It is having a very low degree of fear and taking a leap of faith despite the circumstances.” This is the definition I have given myself and I live by this philosophy. Whenever it gets challenging I remind myself that I am dauntless and taking a leap of faith is what I do best.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

The immigrant experience comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. I believe that all healthcare providers, legal representatives and workers of social services should undergo regular Trauma-Informed Care training. A Trauma-Informed Care approach strives for personalized care for each individual and should be second nature to all organizations that provide human services. It should not be geared towards treating the individual but rather providing care that is appropriate to those that have experienced trauma. Ignoring the idea that 1in every 3 people may have experienced trauma increases the risks of re-triggering these individuals.

Can our readers follow you on social media?

You can follow the Brave House on Instagram or Twitter @TheBraveHouse or on Facebook!

Thank you for these great stories. We wish you only continued success!

---

Yaniel Wynter: They Told Me It Was Impossible And I Did It Anyway was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Women In Wellness: Dr Nicole Williams of The Gynecology Institute of Chicago on the Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

I adore intermittent fasting. It’s easy to do, and you get a big bang for your buck. I started practicing this well before it was en vogue, about 15 years now, and the results are clear. Second, I recommend drinking enough water. That is pale yellow urine, not clear. Third, the average adult needs at least seven hours of sleep! Fourth, always take some time to get some nature to help with your mental health. Finally, write down what you are thankful for to keep life in a positive perspective.

As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Nicole Williams.

Dr. Nicole Williams is an OBGYN and owner of the Gynecology Institute of Chicago, with three locations serving the area. Since July 2013, Dr. Williams has successfully operated this practice specializing in alternative and traditional medicine while caring for thousands of patients. Dedicated to the welfare of women’s reproductive health through preventative and surgical care, she is also the author of This Is How You Vagina, an easy-to-understand guide for women and men alike who seek to understand the form and function of vaginas.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

I grew up in a two-parent household in East St. Louis, Illinois, surrounded by the most loving village of people. I came from a place where the kids were valued, treasured, and expected to do well. This community, combined with my curiosity, was the driving force behind me to go into a profession where I could use my hands and mind. I was always curious about the human body and how and why things worked. This developed into a love for medicine and, more importantly, a passion for helping those in need so they can feel valued and treasured as well.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?

One of the most “interesting” things that happened to me occurred when I was trying to secure an SBA loan. I had already been in business for seven years with a track record of steady growth. After nearly a year of submitting and resubmitting documents, I realized that the lender had NO desire to give me the loan. I reached out to other associates about verbiage I should use and then sent a follow-up email to change my approach. Three days later, my loan was approved. The main lesson is never to take no for an answer, continue pushing and then push harder, and, last but not least, leverage your network!

Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

When I first started, I realized it was easy to fall prey to the equipment representatives that come to your office. They come in with charts and graphs, promising you a massive return on your investment. You want to make money, but it will take time. You have to do your homework and due diligence!

Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?

My main focuses are fibroids, sexual health, and international health. I was the first woman in Illinois to perform the highly technical Acessa procedure surgery for fibroids, and I have performed over 500 of these procedures. Additionally, I have traveled to 15 countries, performing health screening, fibroid surgery, and prenatal care for women.

Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.

First, I adore intermittent fasting. It’s easy to do, and you get a big bang for your buck. I started practicing this well before it was en vogue, about 15 years now, and the results are clear. Second, I recommend drinking enough water. That is pale yellow urine, not clear. Third, the average adult needs at least seven hours of sleep! Fourth, always take some time to get some nature to help with your mental health. Finally, write down what you are thankful for to keep life in a positive perspective.

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Know that sugar is the first and most addictive drug, and avoid it whenever possible.

What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?

1. This is not an instant success

2. Take your time

3. Do your due diligence

4. Trust no one (except your mom)

5. Don’t be afraid of criticism

When you are starting, you are so anxious to become successful. However, these five things would have saved me from stress and anxiety because achievement takes time!

Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?

Environmental change is the dearest topic to me. Throughout my travels, I am beginning to see the effects of the industrialized world on the developing world. If more of us were aware of how our decisions affect others, we would do better.

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

Readers can stay up to date with my latest information at www.nicolewilliamsmd.com !

Thank you for these fantastic insights!

---

Women In Wellness: Dr Nicole Williams of The Gynecology Institute of Chicago on the Five Lifestyle… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Women In Wellness: Gena Griffin of Sun Patch On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Try to get at least a little bit of sunshine every day. There are benefits to getting sun for our mental and physical health and even a small amount can make a difference. Just ALWAYS wear sun protection. Always.

As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing

Gena Griffin grew up in Florida and started her career in the competitive world of real estate. Despite finding success in that field, she decided to take a risk in order to follow her passion and start her own company, Sun Patch. Through Sun Patch, she has developed the first-to-market, patented UPF 50+ Silicone sunblock patches. She now resides in sunny Laguna Beach, CA with her husband and 3 kids and their new puppy Cody.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?

I started out in the corporate real estate world where I worked for 20 years but towards the end, I was on the lookout for something more creative. I have always been interested in fashion and the beauty industry, but I knew that I wanted to do something that had a purpose. It took me years to realize that my obsession with skincare could align with my religious belief in sun protection — Sun Patch was born.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?

Not so much a story but a habit. I started reaching out to mentors and people that I think a lot of people would be intimidated by. Through my connections over the years, I would just pick up the phone and call successful women in various industries who did what I wanted to do. I don’t know if I would have been comfortable enough to do that earlier in my life. My takeaway was that I knew my own story, but that time on the phone was to listen to their story. I had an hour of this person’s time, and I wanted to spend it listening and asking questions.

Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

The biggest mistake I made was delaying our launch because I was being a perfectionist. All my friends who wanted to buy our product kept asking me what I was waiting for. And to be honest, I was being overly critical of everything and looking back I could have easily launched 6 months sooner. If there are not things you want to work on and improve when you launch, then you’re launching too late.

Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?

I have always been passionate about skincare, but I want to help raise awareness about the impact that the sun has on our health and skin overall. I’m the only mom at the pool who wears a rash guard, but my kids notice that I take sun protection seriously and I think it’s important for the next generation to grow up understanding that. Take care of your skin because health, beauty, and wellness are all connected. When you feel great, and you feel strong from your heart, then your beauty naturally shines.

Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.

1. Coffee, Creamer, Stretch. Those things in that order really set me up for a good day. I feel less stressed, I sit a little taller, and feel better overall.
2. Power down your phone at 8pm — wait to turn it back on until 8am. That really helps me be present in the mornings. Otherwise, I’m checking my emails right when I wake up. No thank you.
3. Listen to uplifting podcasts. My favorites at the moment are Biz Chic, Breaking Beauty, and Skinny Confidential.
4. Create a little ritual. Every day at 2pm I have a cup of coffee and a chocolate bar. It’s small, but it’s a little moment in my day that I look forward to and it helps give me energy for the rest of my day.
5. Try to get at least a little bit of sunshine every day. There are benefits to getting sun for our mental and physical health and even a small amount can make a difference. Just ALWAYS wear sun protection. Always.

If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?

It’s a movement that’s already in the works but it would be Skin Positivity. In the past with skincare, it has been all about having perfect skin and there was this implied shame if you have blemishes or imperfections (which we all have). I think it’s important to love our skin, and to want to take care of it because we know it’s already beautiful as-is.

What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?

1. Stay true to yourself and your vision and your brand. If you steer away from your vision and it doesn’t work out you will always be bummed by that, but if you stay true to yourself and your voice, you won’t regret that.
2. Don’t worry about competitors or copycats/knockoffs. Copycats only help my SEO (Yay!) but ultimately, I want my main focus to be on what I’m doing and creating.
3. Have balance with social media. Obviously, it’s important and has allowed me to interact with people and build a community, but I no longer obsess over it. It’s only a tool — it’s not everything.
4. Don’t neglect reviews and word-of-mouth. When I first started, I didn’t really make getting reviews a priority. I’ve since changed that and now we have no ego when it comes to asking for them — they’re important!
5. The hard work is worth it. That’s pretty much it.

Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?

Environmental changes is a big one for me. Living in Laguna Beach, there is a big sense of caring for where we live and the planet as a whole. That’s why Sun Patch has partnered with Eco Drive to offset our carbon footprint. A portion of purchases goes towards planting trees to help save our climate. Check them out!

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

Follow us on Instagram: @sun.patch

Thank you for these fantastic insights!

---

Women In Wellness: Gena Griffin of Sun Patch On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Dr Mary Lamia of Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over: 5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Understand emotions and how they inform us. Classifying emotions as positive or negative has little to do with their value, but instead involves how they motivate us through the ways they make us feel. The emotions that motivate us to learn, to thrive, to achieve success, and to engage with others, for example, are not just positive one. Humans are also motivated, and even driven to achieve, by negative emotions which are a powerful and often misunderstood source of motivation. Negative emotions motivate us to do something to avoid experiencing them, or they urge us to behave in ways that will relieve their effects.

As a part of my series about the “5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Mary Lamia.

Dr. Mary Lamia PhD, who is the author of the new book Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over: Finding a Home for Memories and Emotions After Losing a Loved On — currently on sale wherever books are sold, strives to convey an understanding of emotion through her practice as a clinical psychologist in Marin County, CA, and her work as a professor at the Wright Institute in Berkeley. She is also dedicated to educating the public about the psychology of human behavior by blogging for Psychology Today, Thrive Global, and Psychwire, and providing numerous media interviews and commentary. Along with Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over, she is the author of five previous books, including Emotions! Making Sense of Your Feelings; The Upside of Shame; The White Knight Syndrome; and Understanding Myself: A Kid’s Guide to Intense Emotions and Strong Feelings.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

Career choice is often inextricably tied to one’s personal history, and this is certainly true in what led me to become a psychologist. My parents and grandparents were Sicilian immigrants, and, like many people from the old country, they held interesting beliefs. My maternal grandmother was sought out by others for guidance and was viewed as someone who could predict the future, such as the gender of an unborn child. My mother was highly creative and always seemed able to fix anything. In fact, my mother’s favorite saying was that she could “fix anything but a broken heart.” The notion of fixing a broken heart, and even understanding what that meant, always intrigued me. Like my grandmother, my mother had an interest in interpreting various signs, but usually in a more “academic” way. For example, she consulted books about dream interpretation, written in Italian, to inform my brother and me about the meaning of the dreams that we told her. Following my grandmother’s death and my mother’s cancer diagnosis when I was 4 years old, my mother began to have a recurring dream that her own mother was calling her to heaven. She died when I was 11 years old.

In my early adolescence a recurring dream took hold in my own mind that involved a ship docked at a foggy harbor at night. Two women on the ship, whose shadowy images resembled my deceased mother and grandmother, summoned me to go with them. I told them that I couldn’t go and walked away down a ramp alongside the ship, which always awakened me with anxiety.

I developed an interest in dreams and psychology, spending many hours in middle school and high school reading encyclopedia articles on dreams, the mind, Freud, behavior, and any other references I could find. My continuing interest in dreams, and anything related to them, may have been my way to keep my lost mother close to me.

Not having a mother was confusing and heartbreaking, and, at age 13, having an abusive stepmother was even worse. My father did not intend to re-marry to a person who was disturbed. He was introduced to her as was done by Italians in those days, and, according to him, he couldn’t reject her. Divorce was unacceptable in the context of our Catholicism, and my father claimed that he just wanted to go to heaven to be with my mother. When I was 22 years old, he died of heart failure as a result of rheumatic heart disease that was purposely left untreated. I just couldn’t fix his “broken heart.”

I have always loved to work. From age 12 to sixteen, I worked on weekends selling automobile parts at a wrecking yard in order to buy clothes that I thought would help me to fit in at school. This experience provided me with valuable knowledge about cars that, even now, I appreciate having acquired. At age 16, I began working for an insurance office after school and on Saturdays and continued this work at various locations throughout college and a master’s program. A District Manager urged me to become an insurance agent, and he took some pride in the possibility of mentoring the first female insurance agent in the company, if not in the country. I came within weeks of taking the exam, but decided at the last moment that the idea was ludicrous: in 1971 who would buy insurance from a woman?

Upon completing my college education at U.C. Berkeley with a major in psychology, I wanted to become either a teacher or a psychologist. So, the compromise was to obtain a master’s degree in Educational Psychology. In 1973 I became a counselor, teacher, and subsequently the Guidance Director at a Catholic high school for boys in San Francisco. I continued this work until I graduated with my doctorate in 1977.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

All of the stories I have heard during my career are interesting, but one that stands out is described in my book, Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over: Finding a Home for Memories and Emotions After Losing a Loved One:

Decades ago, while in training to become a psychologist, I was assigned a client whose profound fear and anguish lacked explanation. He and I eventually linked the recent onset of his symptoms to his age, which was approaching the age his father had been when he died. Dimly aware of the age-matching anniversary, the client had dismissed its importance. His memory, however, did not: It alerted him to the emotions and sensations that had overwhelmed him as a 7-year-old, helplessly watching his father’s deterioration and death. Memories of that time had remained quietly within him until he approached age 34, the age of his father when he passed. As we looked back and recognized his grief, his anxiety slowly diminished, and the unbearable depression lifted.

During my work with this man, I silently recalled my own childhood experiences of loss. Inhabiting a dark corner of my mind from the time I was an 11-year-old was a sense that my life, like my mother’s, would be over at age 40-something. Logically, and self-assuredly, I assumed that my awareness of the potential unconscious impact of age-matching anniversaries allowed me to escape my client’s emotional struggle. However, conscious knowledge does not eliminate memories that script our present emotional responses and influence how we govern our lives. Every so often, I found myself calculating the years until I would reach the age of my mother’s death.

My father, brokenhearted from my mother’s passing, did not show me how to deal with death, let alone how to have a happy or long life after such a loss. Professing his wish to be in heaven with my mother, my father died from heart disease 10 years later, surrendering to a religiously acceptable form of suicide by declining vital surgery. I was then a young adult without living parents and had only memories to keep them present within me.

Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?

For psychologists “mistakes” are rarely humorous, but they are something from which we can learn.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

I am grateful to all of the patients I have seen during my 45 years of practice, all of whom have taught me something.

What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?

“Compassion fatigue” or “vicarious trauma” requiring self-care are commonly referred to in my profession. These refer to states of physical tension and cognitive preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it can create changes in the therapist’s physical health, interpersonal relationships, sense of self, spirituality, worldview, and behavior. Therefore, these are also the elements we should attend to regarding self-care. However, what does this really mean?

Emotions make us care. Not only are negative emotional responses stressful for therapists, but positive emotional responses can be stressful as well. There is no special remedy or activity for self-care. We are all different in terms of what we do to feel better, but overall, we must either activate positive emotions and avoid or relieve the effects of negative ones. Yet self-care also involves accepting what we are feeling, particularly when we experience shame, so we can take a look at it and translate the language of our emotions.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

Relationships mean everything.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Mental health is often looked at in binary terms; those who are healthy and those who have mental illness. The truth, however, is that mental wellness is a huge spectrum. Even those who are “mentally healthy” can still improve their mental wellness. From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to improve or optimize our mental wellness. Can you please share a story or example for each.

1. Understand emotions and how they inform us. Classifying emotions as positive or negative has little to do with their value, but instead involves how they motivate us through the ways they make us feel. The emotions that motivate us to learn, to thrive, to achieve success, and to engage with others, for example, are not just positive one. Humans are also motivated, and even driven to achieve, by negative emotions which are a powerful and often misunderstood source of motivation. Negative emotions motivate us to do something to avoid experiencing them, or they urge us to behave in ways that will relieve their effects.

A simple example from my book, What Motivates Getting Things Done: Procrastination, Emotions, and Success will illustrate how emotions work alongside the thoughts that accompany them. Imagine getting into your car while holding a café mocha you had just purchased. You inadvertently squeeze the cup, the top pops off, and the coffee spills all over the car seat. You may experience a variety of emotions at that moment, and certainly you will feel some combination of startle and distress. Distress alone can motivate you to clean up the mess. But in such situations, startle and distress will blend with anger, which can lead you to curse in response to the spill and be agitated as you wipe it up. However, motivation to clean up the mess will also result if your brain triggers both distress and fear — a combination we often refer to as “anxiety,” which may be accompanied by the thought that you will stain your clothes if you sit down on any smudge that is left from the mocha. Even greater motivation to clean up the mess, and do it well, will result if your brain adds shame to fear and distress, which may arise with the thought or image of sitting on a remaining chocolate smudge, staining your pants, and someone thinking you had an “accident.”

2. Understand how memories inform our present circumstances and our future intentions.

As an example, Susan explained that late afternoons weighed on her in the weeks after her husband’s death. Sudden intolerable anguish, a flood of tears, or a stomachache would lead her to wonder if she wanted to go on living. When an implicit memory emerges, we are unaware that something from the past is being recalled, even though we may have intrusive feelings, behavioral reactions, perceptions, and bodily sensations. Susan eventually realized these episodes always happened around the time of day she had typically anticipated her husband’s arrival home from work. He was always there, exactly on time. When he did not arrive, despite the fact that her memory told her it was time for him to be there, she felt stricken.

The work of our implicit memory primes us, in a sense, to know what to expect. The model in Susan’s implicit memory involved her excitement upon hearing her husband’s car enter the garage and greeting him with a hug when he walked in. Her inner world was primed to feel and expect something at a specific time. Implicit memories do not necessarily remain an unconscious enigma. The puzzle pieces of implicit memory may later be put together as explicit memories, thus becoming conscious autobiographical information. This isn’t necessarily a relief. For example, Susan later associated the daily ritual of enjoying her husband’s return home with her unbearable sadness about his absence. Her way of adjusting to her new reality was to take a walk with a friend that time of day or do enjoyable errands. As weeks passed and the intensity of her grief subsided, she could tolerate the wave of sadness when she was home at the critical hour. On occasion, she imagined her husband coming through the door, and she would excitedly call out, “Hi, Evan!” Then, amused at herself, she would laugh.

3. Recognize that there are two basic criteria for success whether one is a procrastinator or someone who completes tasks ahead of schedule; namely, that you never miss a deadline and that your work reflects your best efforts.

People can become consumed by a cycle of failure and shame, wherein every failure amplifies the shame they already feel, and chronic shame interferes with their efforts. Procrastination is an insufficient excuse for missing a deadline and failing. Nevertheless, the many studies that link procrastination in general with all sorts of personality traits are a missed opportunity to determine what actually interferes with the motivation of those who fail and blame it on procrastinating.

Consider Lauren, for example, who described her pattern of missing deadlines, explaining that when she becomes aware of things, she has to get done she just ignores them. When a deadline approaches, she avoids what she feels, as well as the task, by drinking heavily and watching movies. Her attack-other response to shame results in thoughts such as Screw it, I hate those people anyway and just won’t do it. In her last two jobs, Lauren was warned that she’d be fired for neglecting her responsibilities, but she left before it happened: “They were lousy jobs anyway,” she noted. Lauren has spent years refusing help based on the fact that when she was in school her parents “forced” her to have tutors and therapists whose time she “wasted.” The actual repetitive and intensely shaming experiences that led to a cycle of failure beginning early in her life were never addressed.

Some procrastination researchers might identify Lauren as a procrastinator, accusing her of possessing any of the qualities that have been studied in efforts to determine why some people delay, such as a lazy, task aversive, fraudulent, self-handicapping slacker with low conscientiousness. Such personality assassination hardly provides insight into Lauren’s defensive adaptation to deeply internalized childhood shame. However, it does illustrate that focusing on personality traits of people, like Lauren, who fail obscures the emotional states that repeatedly lead them to miss deadlines.

4. Understand that the tendency to procrastinate does not interfere with success. Those who wait are just as likely to be successful as people who complete tasks ahead of time. Procrastination should not be linked with failure; just as early action should not be tied to success. The different timing of procrastinators and non-procrastinators to complete tasks has to do with when their emotions are activated and what activates them. Procrastinators who consistently complete tasks on time — even if it’s at the last moment — are motivated by emotions that are activated when a deadline is imminent. They are deadline driven. In contrast to procrastinators, task-driven people faced with uncompleted tasks are compelled to act right away. Motivated by their emotions to complete a task ahead of schedule and put it behind them, those who are successful attend to the quality of their work prior to scratching the task off their list. Thus, procrastinators are motivated by emotions that are activated by deadlines and task-driven people are motivated by emotions that are triggered by the task itself.

As a couple Melissa and Sam were invited to participate in a ceremony and had 3 months to prepare. Melissa was asked to recite a poem; Sam was asked to give the opening speech. Consistent with her task-driven style, Melissa began memorizing the poem right away. Typical of task-driven people, she likes to prepare in advance — just in case something happens. The possible interference could be anything because, as she put it, you never know what could stand in the way of getting something done. Sam accommodated Melissa’s requests to be her practice audience; however, eventually he limited how much time he’d spend doing it.

Intermittently, and with a hint of agitation in her voice, Melissa asked Sam if he had prepared his part. As a procrastinator, Sam put off tangibly working on the talk, leaving it to “marinate” in his head. “During that time,” he clarified, “I worked on it at a subconscious level — in my yoga class, walking, sleeping, etc. At some point, much like a solution or steps to a solution, the content of the talk started to come together.”

Expressing her annoyance with Sam in similar circumstances, Melissa remarked, “He makes me nuts when he waits. I try to let it go and let him do his thing, but I don’t get why he does this last-minute stuff.” Sam contends that Melissa just worries too much about when he will get stuff done.

The evening prior to the ceremony Sam created an outline of his talk. According to Melissa it was after 11:00 p.m., they were in the hotel room, and she was in bed peering past the sheets at Sam’s notes scattered across the covers. In the morning, Melissa went for a walk knowing she would have a hard time being in the room while Sam was finishing his talk. When he is in that mode, she explained, he doesn’t answer her questions and sometimes doesn’t even seem to hear her speak. She knew he’d be a different person when she returned; that is, if he was finished. Sam wrote out his talk while Melissa was on her walk. “I knew exactly what I wanted to say,” he explained. “On one level, it may be called procrastination, but I think it is a way to more fully use the brain power I have.”

5. Optimize your motivational style and recognize that emotional states such as a “fear of failure” can be highly motivating.

Consider Anthony, for example, who noted, “When I try to do something in advance, my thoughts just aren’t there. I can’t do it.” Describing his typical process of procrastinating, he said, “When a deadline is in sight, everything seems to come together in my head. I put it down on paper, and that’s it. I can always be trusted to deliver an excellent product on time.” Since his livelihood involves writing a lot of reports, Anthony makes sure that everyone who requests them either already knows or is told that he wants an absolute deadline.

However, one day as Anthony was thinking about the next report he had to complete, he began experiencing his usual fear of failure. His thought led him to wonder whether he was being arrogant in not reviewing his documents before sending them out. The thought that his reports may have been less than excellent and that he should have been reviewing them along the way made him anxious and very motivated to seek confirmation. Arbitrarily, he opened files and read reports that he had written in the past five years. He found nothing he would have altered. Even so, Anthony’s own assessment of his previous work was not enough to relieve his shame anxiety. Therefore, he offered to pay two colleagues who were familiar with these types of reports to critique a few of his own that he had randomly chosen. When both reviewers highly praised the reports and had no suggestions for improvement, Anthony then began to wonder why he had doubted himself in the first place but saved his musings for later since now the deadline was imminent to write his current report. Actually, it is not unusual for procrastinators to doubt themselves when they are in the midst of shame anxiety about a specific task they must finish. Thus, on the day Anthony started doubting the accuracy of his reports, an approaching deadline had triggered shame anxiety, which he placed in the context of a fear of failure about his work in general rather than on the specific task at hand.

How about teens and pre teens. Are there any specific new ideas you would suggest for teens and pre teens to optimize their mental wellness?

It is essential to understand your emotions and how they work. In my book, Emotions! Making Sense of Your Feelings, I inform teens and young adults how:

• Focusing on feelings instead of details may lead to better quality decision making for certain complex decisions.
• Anxiety can improve creativity, productivity, and the quality of your work.
• In competitive situations, fear can interfere with success if it causes you to change your strategy.
• Your friend’s embarrassing behavior won’t reflect on you
• People who bully do not have low self-esteem; however, they are very shame prone.
• Guilt helps you to maintain your relationships.
• Lonely people look for sources of acceptance in facial expressions.
• Hope can affect expectation and how you feel.
• Many people cry at a happy ending after holding back their expression of sadness.
• Venting anger doesn’t help you.
• Overvaluing happiness can lead you to be less happy, even when happiness is within your reach.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?

Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self by Donald Nathanson made a significant impact on my understanding of the role of shame in our lives.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I would continue to provide the public with the knowledge psychology has to offer, dispelling the myths we hold.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

“In countless ways, and to varying degrees, images based on our memories keep us close to loved ones who have died. Yet memories also contain painful reminders of irretrievable joy. Without positive emotional memories and imagery to arouse it, grief is absent. Remembering is what makes us grieve.” (From my book, Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over: Finding a Home for Memories and Emotions After Losing a Loved One.)

Losing my mother at age 11 and my father at age 21, I found that they continued to live inside of me and provided the motivation to pursue my goals.

What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?

http://www.marylamia.com

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

---

Dr Mary Lamia of Grief Isn’t Something to Get Over: 5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Female Disruptors: Davina Patterson of Disability Resource Network On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your Industry

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Always have a plan and set goals-Planning and goal setting are instrumental in fulfilling your mission. Unexpected events may occur but your plan and goal is your road map to stay on target. It keeps you focused. As a new Center for Independent Living, we had to work under the umbrella of an established center. It was projected that our center would be granted approval to conduct a spin off in 2–3 years from the start date. Our center performed a spin off in less than the projected date. It took one year and 8 months to complete the spin off. Goal setting and planning were key in meeting the benchmarks required for the spin off. I give credit to my amazing team and supportive board members for working together and entrusting my leadership to provide direction to the organization.

As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Davina Patterson.

Davina Patterson is the Executive Director of Disability Resource Network, a newly established Center for Independent Living located in Huntsville, AL but services 13 counties in North Alabama. She is a proud graduate of the University of Alabama at Birmingham with a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Healthcare Management and a member of the UAB Women in Healthcare Leadership Council . Davina is a change agent and visionary that is making an impact in the community by removing barriers and stigmas for people with disabilities.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?

I have a career for over 15 years in healthcare. I started out working in local hospitals and clinics. After being in healthcare for over 10 years, I finally received a leadership position in 2015 as a Business Manager of a Federally Qualified Health Center (FQHC). It was my introduction into non profit management. I managed three sites in North West Alabama. The three sites were located in underserved and unserved rural communities and served primarily Medicaid and uninsured patients. I witnessed the challenges the patients and providers faced and developed a passion for serving this population. I saw an opportunity in 2020 for a Center for Independent Living Director for the North Alabama region. This would be an advancement for me and a historical moment. This was the first Center for Independent Living in North Alabama and I would become the first female Center for Independent Living Director in the state of Alabama. I started with Disability Resource Network in 2020 but worked under another the umbrella of a Center for Independent Living in Birmingham , AL, Disability Rights and Resources, before we completed our spin off. On October 1, 2021 Disability Resource Network completed all state requirements and is an independent Center for Independent Living. I became the Executive Director and we currently have a total of three staff members including myself. Our staff and board members are composed of people with disabilities. The independent living philosophy states that 51% of the staff and 51% of the board members are people with significant disabilities. I got into non profit management because I wanted to make a difference in the community. I work for Disability Resource Network because I wanted to be apart of an organization that empowers people with disabilities.

Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?

I advocate for people with disabilities to live independently. I’ve been able to make an impact in the community by promoting an inclusive and accessible society. I work with local agencies, organizations, and municipalities to provide accessible services. We are currently working with Alabama Department of Public Health and the Disability Vaccine Access Opportunities to make sure COVID vaccines are accessible for people with disabilities. I work to make sure the spotlight is on people with disabilities and Centers for Independent Living. I serve on councils and committees to bring disability awareness and serve as a resource. We are a referral agency for Arbor at Moore’s Mill to place consumers in affordable and accessible housing for people with disabilities as well as the Huntsville Housing Authority Emergency Housing Voucher Program for those that are seeking housing. People with disabilities face barriers that non disabled people do not face. I am committed to close the gaps in these barriers. I work with people with all disabilities. As a cross disability organization we serve people who self identify as a person with a disability. No medical records, documentation, or diagnosis is required to receive services. There are people with invisible disabilities and others with visible disabilities. Centers for Independent Living welcomes and serves all people with disabilities. We also work with all age groups and believe in a diverse, equitable, and inclusive community. Disability is diversity and people with disability should receive reasonable accommodations. Disability Resource Network is the first and only Center for Independent Living in North Alabama. I have been tasked to introduce the community to Centers for Independent Living and to provide consumer controlled independent living services to a region that has not used this model in the past.

We all need a little help along the journey. Who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?

I’ve had several mentors over the years. My former supervisors, teachers, professors, community leaders, peers, and family members have offered support and guidance through out my journey. They have made an impact by dedicating their time and knowledge to impart on my journey to make sure that I’m successful and prepared for the task and assignments in my career path.

In today’s parlance, being disruptive is usually a positive adjective. But is disrupting always good? When do we say the converse, that a system or structure has ‘withstood the test of time’? Can you articulate to our readers when disrupting an industry is positive, and when disrupting an industry is ‘not so positive’? Can you share some examples of what you mean?

Being disruptive can be good but uncomfortable. It’s not always popular! Everyone may not have the passion for your mission, vision, and purpose but when you get an opportunity and platform, you have to be the voice. You may have an unconventional idea and your beliefs may not be accepted by the majority. Don’t get discouraged! Stay persistent and focused. You are bringing a different perspective and highlighting an issue that needs to be addressed or a new idea that has never been implemented . Disrupting an industry can be positive by forming alliances and partnerships to support initiatives and programs that can benefit the industry and the community. Embrace and take pride in your mission. When you communicate and present your passion you can gain followers, sponsors, donors, and collaborations that can lead to endless opportunities.

Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.

Be Intentional- I always wanted to work in healthcare. As a child, my career goal was to become a Dentist. I shadowed at a local Dentist office during high school. There were only two dental schools in the state of Alabama. This effected the college I decided to attend. I selected the University of Alabama at Birmingham because they had a dental school and it was the University my twin sister, who died at the age of 17 to cancer, received her medical care and had aspirations to attend. After my second semester in college my career goals changed. I wanted to continue to stay in healthcare but I longer was interested in Dentistry. I attended a University that was a leader in healthcare and offered many healthcare programs. I chose the Healthcare Management program and I worked in my field. I gained an interest in minority and rural healthcare. My experience and education helped me to become competitive in my career. I received my first leadership opportunity at a non profit and developed a passion for the non profit industry. Everything that I did was intentional and aligned with my career path. I changed paths but the mission and the vision didn’t change. Everything worked together to mold my career.

Stay active, visible, engaged, and involved-I’ve lived in the North Alabama region for ten years. I know people in the community but I had to learn the industry, by networking and building relationships with agencies and organizations in the community. I’ve used social media as a platform to connect to my 13 county service area. I support other organizations programs and events by attending and donating. I schedule virtual or in person meetings with organizations to introduce myself. I’ve been able to use my current contacts and network as a resource. I perform research to identify agencies, organizations, and key players in the industry. I study the demographics and culture of the region. Our organization host programs and perform outreach to have a presence in the community. Outreach and networking has connected me to opportunities and has been able to assist in gaining a presence in the community. Everyone knows each other. They will share their resources, send referrals, and invitations when you are involved.

Always have a plan and set goals-Planning and goal setting are instrumental in fulfilling your mission. Unexpected events may occur but your plan and goal is your road map to stay on target. It keeps you focused. As a new Center for Independent Living, we had to work under the umbrella of an established center. It was projected that our center would be granted approval to conduct a spin off in 2–3 years from the start date. Our center performed a spin off in less than the projected date. It took one year and 8 months to complete the spin off. Goal setting and planning were key in meeting the benchmarks required for the spin off. I give credit to my amazing team and supportive board members for working together and entrusting my leadership to provide direction to the organization.

We are sure you aren’t done. How are you going to shake things up next?

Parents that have children with disabilities need resources and support. I would like to work with the school systems to provide assistance for families with children that have disabilities and to work with educators that may need assistance in working with children with disabilities. A lot of children are being diagnosed with disabilities such as ADHD and Autism at a younger age. I also have plans for working with the rural communities. We are working on programs and initiatives that are available for all 13 counties but a focus on our rural counties. They are often underserved and not as resourceful as the metropolitan areas.

In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by ‘women disruptors’ that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?

In most instances, females are the caregivers in their home and the primary contact for their children. Balancing your career and family life can be a challenge. Being a female leader, you may miss out on your kids activities and don’t get the opportunity to be the mom that goes on field trips. Your home life may be a little untraditional. Home cooked meals may not always be feasible for your lifestyle and you have to pick up some fast food on the way home. On the other end, your job may come second to having to nurse your sick child or take your child to medical appointments. Women are still out numbered by males in certain industries. They may not be able to relate or identify with the challenges women face. The workplace is changing and becoming more diverse. Women are receiving more opportunities and have taken more leadership roles.

Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?

I watch a lot of documentaries and I often read autobiographies. I have been inspired by the stories of Tyler Perry, Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, Magic Johnson, Mary J. Blige, and Michelle Obama. I do a lot of journaling and writing. It’s a stress reliever and very therapeutic. It also helps me to organize my thoughts and brainstorm. I have a sauna room in my house where I go to relax, read, and meditate. I also have a sunroom that I use to listen to sermons by T.D. Jakes and instrumental music. Inspirational books that has impacted me are Becoming by Michelle Obama and Become a Better You by Joel Osteen. You have to train and program your mind to be focused and think positive.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I would like to foster a movement that promotes Entrepreneurship and business owners. Many people have gotten burned out from applying for jobs and working jobs where they have the education and experience but they are often overlooked for job opportunities. This occurs for people with disabilities and people without disabilities. People with disabilities are effected by it the most and they have to receive fixed income from disability benefits due to the scarce of job availability. If more funding was established for small business owners and start ups many would have the opportunity to work from home and it would build the economy.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

One of my former co-workers had a quote in their office it stated “Forward ever, backward never.” That simple but powerful quote always stayed with me. It sent a message to me to keep moving forward in life. Don’t regress and go back. Your destiny is in front of you. Look to the future and stay focused on your direction and path. Anytime I ever decided to go back in life it set me back. From my personal experience, I would recommend that if you keep striving forward you will soar. Learn from your past. Your mistakes and failures will help you in your growth.

How can our readers follow you online?

https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/in/davina-patterson-aa7a4b9a

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

---

Female Disruptors: Davina Patterson of Disability Resource Network On The Three Things You Need To… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Female Founders: Julia Margo of Hot Octupuss On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman Founder

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

You will never feel that you know enough, or have done enough, or worked hard enough. Ever. Get used to the feeling, accept it, and power though — I promise you, you’re doing great!

As a part of our series about “Why We Need More Women Founders”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Julia Margo.

Hot Octopuss has made Julia Margo its new Chief Operating Officer, reinforcing its commitment to breaking barriers and creating sex toys that are both inclusive and promote wellness with pleasure. At this time, Margo will come on board to support the company as it launches a new range of innovative products, significantly broadening its portfolio to cater to the next generation of sex toy users.

Margo co-founded the premium British company in 2011 with Adam Lewis, but has since been working in an advisory role. As Chief Operating Officer, Julia will direct Hot Octopuss’s marketing department and lead its public relations team. Her expertise stems from roles in top UK organisations including the think tank Demos, the consumer group Which? and the medical research charity Genesis Research Trust.

Also a published author on social change, wellbeing and consumer issues, Julia will bring invaluable insight to Hot Octopuss as the company grows its global customer base and focuses efforts on lesser-served markets in the sex toy industry, including disabled and older consumers, with a range of inclusive products that stimulate pleasure and transcend pre-existing stigmas.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?

My background is in a totally different field: I used to be a charity CEO, running children and family charities and before that I was a journalist at a national UK newspaper, and worked in think tanks on social policy. I’ve always been motivated by wanting to ‘make a difference’ and this took me through some interesting organisations and career paths. While I was on maternity leave from a domestic policy think tank with my first baby, my very old friend Adam Lewis (Hot Octopuss co-founder) approached me with an idea for a new penis toy.

He had been looking for a sex toy for himself and found that there really was nothing specifically for men on the market at that time. Vulva toys, designed for clitorises or penetration did not work well for him. He saw a gap in the market. In his research he had stumbled across a device that was used in IVF to help men with paralysis (spinal cord injury) and other severe erectile problems to ejaculate. He wanted to licence the mechanism from this device, which was able to deliver an involuntary ejaculation even from flaccid, and redevelop it into a sex toy.

He asked me to invest and help bring his idea to market and so together we created the world’s first “Guybrator” TM. This was a smaller, sexier and less powerful version of the medical device we had found but delivered the same type of oscillating stimulation that we knew would work for all men, whether they could get an erection or not. We knew from the start that our device was also going to work for men with all kinds of diseases and disabilities that impacted their sexual wellbeing, and thus our inclusive, accessible brand was born.

It took several years for the business to become a proper entity with a range of different products, and while Adam worked at Hot Octopuss full time from the start, I only went full time 4 years ago when it became too big for him to manage alone.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?

One of the first pieces of PR we did in the US was a campaign called ‘GuyFi”. We wanted to bring attention to the issue of masturbation and light-heartedly challenge the stigma around male masturbation in particular. The campaign was very simple: we took over a payphone booth in NYC, covered it in a black cloth and said it was a masturbation booth open for stressed out city workers to come and enjoy free access to online porn. What we didn’t expect was the level of interest this generated. We had queues down the street, the event was featured in Time Out in New York and we received a cease-and-desist notice from the mayor’s office!

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Adam and I were both in pretty professional workplaces before we started Hot Octopuss, and I think after we decided to go for it, we had this sense of freedom that we no longer had to play by anyone else’s rules. And we were entering the adult toys world — no rules there right? Absolutely wrong, of course. When we were designing the very first toy, Adam, who is an extremely open and helpful person, tried to show our brand-new designer exactly how it would work — by holding it over his genitals. Clothed of course but still — it’s not okay! I tried to help, repositioning it. The designer freaked out and left immediately, and I didn’t blame them. And we realised that just because we make sex toys don’t mean anything goes in the industry.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Well, it’s interesting that you say nobody can achieve without help — obviously once we had the idea and proposal, we did get industry interest and backing. Industry leaders such as WeVibe and Love Honey gave us some really brilliant advice and support. But what was fascinating to me was how discouraging most people in our lives were! They were friends who cared about us, but they really didn’t understand our vision. We were told we’d lose money, that it was a weird thing to do, that we were ruining our existing careers and we’d never be hired or taken seriously again. I love our friends but I’m glad we ignored them!

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. According to this EY report, only about 20 percent of funded companies have women founders. This reflects great historical progress, but it also shows that more work still has to be done to empower women to create companies.

In your opinion and experience what is currently holding back women from founding companies?

I can’t speak for all women but my experience of working in both media and policy is that the higher up the food chain you go, the more it becomes a boy’s club and you have to fight to make yourself heard. I don’t know where I would have ended up, but I know it would have been harder to get a seat at the top table in an existing company than to form my own. That said, I think it’s often harder for women to make that leap because of the myriad reasons that hold women back in general — they want kids, or they have kids, and they won’t want to be an absent parent and believe running a company would take them away from their family for too many hours. And they’re not wrong, it’s a lot of work. I also think there are invisible expectations placed on women (or felt by women), to not be pushy, to not lean in or make themselves the loudest person in the room if that’s what it takes.

Can you help articulate a few things that can be done as individuals, as a society, or by the government, to help overcome those obstacles?

Visibility is key. We need female CEOs to make it their mission to make themselves as visible as possible so that when kids think about what they want to be, it doesn’t occur to them that a female CEO is some kind of trailblazing idea — it’s simply one of many options. That involves saying yes to speaking in schools, or doing interviews or appearing on tv — anything to normalise women in charge. I think schools need to address and puncture the myth of influencer culture as standard. I’m not putting influencers down as such, more power to them, but I worry that unless we explain the transient nature of influencer culture vs building a business with a vision, our future female leaders won’t realise that lasting success comes from focus, drive and ambition, not just accumulating likes.

I think the work culture has shifted post-pandemic to a more flexible approach, but it’s a shame we needed a global pandemic to create a way for mothers to work from home without recrimination or penalisation. We need to continue to mould work life around real life, not the other way around, until the culture shifts to accommodate everyone. And government subsidised childcare would really help more women flourish earlier in their careers.

This might be intuitive to you as a woman founder but I think it will be helpful to spell this out. Can you share a few reasons why more women should become founders?

I know a lot of rhetoric in the culture today is about erasing gender norms, not perpetuating them, and I don’t rail against that, I love how differently we’re being encouraged to view sexuality and traditional roles. However, perhaps controversially, my lived experience is that women do experience life quite differently to men, especially after they’ve had children. Ignoring that inconvenient truth isn’t useful, but acknowledging it can be.

As a woman, I can bring lived experience and insight from how it feels to be a woman in a man’s world, to be a mum trying to get back into the workforce, to always feel like you’re letting someone down, however hard you work. I can use these feelings to encourage employees in the same position and I can use this experience to redesign work culture — in my own company — to address these different experiences, and make sure my female employees get the same opportunities as their male counterparts.

Our company began with one sex toy — for men. As soon as we began creating toys for women, I started getting involved in the design process. The point I’m making is, if women are part of your customer base (and they always are), you need a woman at the top to make sure all the men at the top know what their female customers are thinking. Because to be frank, they aren’t going to be able to get inside our heads on their own, are they?

What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a founder? Can you explain what you mean?

Being a founder is like being a mum — everyone thinks you’re responsible, infallible and have all the answers and you really don’t! No founder knows everything about how to run their business. For example, I am not at all technical, and yet the technical innovation we’ve created with our toys and how they work, forms a core part of our marketing. But that’s the trick I think — a good founder knows their strengths and more importantly, knows which vital skills they lack. When I am hiring, I look for people who can do what I can’t. If a CEO thinks they can do everything they’re probably not great at any of it! You have to recruit smartly to fill your skill gaps.

Is everyone cut out to be a founder? In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful founder and what type of person should perhaps seek a “regular job” as an employee? Can you explain what you mean?

Anyone can have a great idea. Anyone can be a great team leader. And anyone can develop people skills. But even with all of that, you can find a new business and unless you’ve got the infrastructure and the dedication to bring the product to market, you’re going nowhere. That was my biggest learning from starting a business versus being an employee. There are ideas people, and there are action people, and to go from idea stage to sales is a huge, perilous, often exciting, often exhausting journey — and not everyone is cut out for that. And then, once you’ve gone to market, you can never take your eye off the ball. You have to attract and retain staff of the kind of quality that can do the job when you’re not available. You need to be able to pivot on your ideas, marketing strategies and more if the world around you changes, you need to motivate your people to do the same, and you need to never stop building your network. For a person who, say, is extremely talented in one area, the idea of having to do all that on top of being creative for money may not be appealing. That’s great for me — I’ll just hire them instead. My point is, you have to want to work holistically as a founder, so no, I don’t think everyone is cut out for it, and that’s ok!

Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why? (Please share a story or example for each.)

1. Success is not linear. You don’t start a business and watch it grow year on year in an expected growth trajectory. We had an absolute explosion of sales in lockdown (for obvious reasons!) and when things calmed down a little the year after we had to remind ourselves that we always have to take external factors into account, as well as risks that may or may not pay off.
2. Critique is a gift, even if it doesn’t feel like one! When we would first test a new product, we’d been working on, we’d always ask for feedback, and if the feedback was brutal, it would really hurt because the journey to that point had been so long. But that was before we realised how incredibly vital criticism is and without it, however painful, we’d never be able to create toys that really give our customers what they want. No criticism, no learning. It’s that simple.
3. Ignorance is bliss! If I had known how much I had to learn, how much I’d need to teach myself, how unbelievably complex the journey would be, how many times I’d need to pivot or rally or change an entire direction at the last minute — I am honestly not sure I’d have done it. But that’s the beauty of not knowing — you have no idea so you just go for it. Once you look back, you’re almost daunted retrospectively but that’s a far better way to be — because look what you’ve achieved simply by not knowing what you were doing/
4. Working smarter is better than working harder. For the first few years we ran ourselves ragged. Now, through working on the business for several years, I have worked out how to work smarter, more efficiently, and where and when to stop something if it’s clear the idea isn’t working or financially viable. I never wanted to be a slave to my desk, and of course the first few years you’ll need to go the extra mile, but if you find yourself working till past midnight ten years in, maybe you need to rethink what “hard work” actually means.
5. You will never feel that you know enough, or have done enough, or worked hard enough. Ever. Get used to the feeling, accept it, and power though — I promise you, you’re doing great!

How have you used your success to make the world a better place?

Before Hot Octopuss became the go-to manufacturer of disability-friendly sex toys, I had never given sex and disability much thought. But once we started focusing on pleasure for everyone, it started to open up this whole world, this whole niche market that was not only untapped, but as far as I am concerned, extremely vital. So I don’t know if I’d be so bold as to say I’ve made the world a better place, but if I’ve helped to destigmatise sex and disability even for just one person, if I have made it easier for just one person to find the sex toy that they can easily use in a sea of toys that simply don’t work for them — I consider that making the world a better place. And of course, this isn’t something I can talk about with real-world experience, so I hired an incredibly talented disabled woman whose job it is to help the business navigate this area.

I’m also extremely involved in charity work, especially around the issues of domestic abuse, childcare and education, and any time I am asked to use whatever standing and influence I have to make a difference in any of these areas, I feel genuinely honoured. I’m currently in the process of setting up a peer-to-peer counselling service for mothers going through the family courts, which I hope will make this process (currently extremely harrowing) a little less daunting.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I am committed to destigmatising sex and disability and I’m open to any ideas in that area, both business related and beyond. It’s not an area I think I ever would have ventured into without Hot Octopuss, and I am so so grateful I did. Not only is it absolutely vital to serve every community, the purple pound is real and powerful! But I would love it if anything Hot Octopuss did regarding sex and disability helped other businesses and individuals change their perspective as well. I’d like everything we do to inspire other businesses to be inclusive. Not only is it right, it makes financial sense. But nothing about us without us — never go down the route without having someone from that community working with you!

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.

I’d love to have brunch with the original lean-in lady powerhouse, Shery Sandberg. I think we’d have a LOT to talk about over mimosas! I’d even give her a bunch of our products if she was up for it.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.

---

Female Founders: Julia Margo of Hot Octupuss On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.