Author and Keynote Speaker Massoma Alam: 5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

Find joy in life — When was the last time you laughed? Like really laughed? We really should laugh more! Don’t take life so seriously, just enjoy the good times! Do things that you love, that bring your happiness, that spark excitement in your soul. Do more of that. Burst out into song, dance in your living room with your kids, eat ice cream with your dog, watch a comedy special with your partner, dance in the rain by yourself. Make time for joy. You deserve it.

As a part of my series about the “5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Massoma Alam.

Massoma Alam Chohan is an author, a TEDx speaker, a wife, a mother of two, and a strong advocate for those suffering from anxiety. She graduated from the State University of Buffalo with a bachelor’s in Biology and Psychology, completed two years of Medical School, and later went on to complete her master’s in Industrial & Organizational Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

It’s been a whirlwind of a journey, to say the least, for me to get to where I am today. I always wanted to be a doctor growing up, as a South Asian it is one of the most respected and known careers. Hence, I chose the pre-med pathway in college double majoring in Biology and Psychology. However, after I had already completed two years of medical school I had my first major panic attack which snowballed into Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic disorder. My anxiety was so debilitating that it forced me to drop out of medical school and my career trajectory changed. After speaking to some career coaches and doing a ton of online research I found that going back to school for my Masters in Industrial-Organizational Psychology (Business Psychology) was the best and most exciting option for me. I knew I was on the right path when I enjoyed what I was learning, found it exciting, and yearned to learn more.

Let’s normalize career changes, we grow and transform as we get older and it’s ok not to know what you want to do or be, but following your interests and passions will not steer you wrong.

What inspired you to become a mental health advocate?

I suffered from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Panic Disorder (PD) for nine years. I know the pain and anguish it comes with. Being a mental health advocate is my way of giving back. I’ve tried almost every kind of therapy, been on medications, read tons of self-help books, and I want to share all the knowledge I’ve gained with the world. I don’t want anyone else to suffer the way I did, I don’t want anyone to feel they are alone in this–because they are not. I want to give a voice to those who are suffering in silence. I want to break the stigma associated with mental health illnesses and normalize discussing our feelings and seeking out help–because it helps, and it changes lives. If my story can be a beacon of hope for someone out there, or if it can inspire them to pick themselves up, then I can go to sleep happy. It’s my passion to help others and I’m happy to do it.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person or persons who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

I would not be here without the help of many along the way. I can’t harp on this enough, my success is a collective effort from all the lovely people who helped me in some way along my journey. I will have to say though, my parents have been the most supportive in my life, their love and guidance is unmatched. Their immigrant story of traveling with 4 kids across the world to give them a better life leaves me in awe. My parents worked so hard to get to where they are today, it truly is so heartwarming and encouraging. They always encouraged me and helped me in achieving my dreams. They are the epitome of the American Dream and a story of hustling to get to the top. Because of them, I am here today, everything I am is because of their affection and teachings. I am forever grateful.

What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?

To be productive but also experience joy at work–that is the goal, right? Can both exist together? I believe so! In fact, the happier you are the more productive you will be. To thrive at work, you must first and foremost address your wellness. When you are taking care of yourself, it will show in all aspects of your life and avoid burnout. Notice the signs of burnout (depression-like symptoms such as loss of motivation, feeling inadequate, sense of failure, exhaustion etc.), and take preventative care. What does that look like? It means, taking your lunch break (ha!), having a work-life balance, finding purpose and meaning in your work, nourishing your creative side, being organized, having important conversations with your managers, and giving yourself grace when you make mistakes or fail.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

Listen to your employees, really listen. Make them feel heard by addressing their concerns and create a psychologically safe environment. Use intrinsic motivation for your employees such as a sense of belonging, purpose, professional and personal growth opportunities to foster fulfillment at work. Be willing to be flexible and be able to handle family-care demands. If you care about your employees, they will in return care about you and your company. By presenting attainable deadlines, reasonable expectations and workload you will establish a thriving environment where employees will stress less and produce more!

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Mental health is often looked at in binary terms; those who are healthy and those who have mental illness. The truth, however, is that mental wellness is a huge spectrum. Even those who are “mentally healthy” can still improve their mental wellness. From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to improve or optimize our mental wellness? Can you please share a story or example for each.

Get to know yourself! — There are many tips and strategies out there for mental wellness, sometimes it’s like a game of trial and error to see what’s best for you. It’s not a one size fits all! When you really get to know yourself through tools like meditation, mindfulness, therapy, and journaling you will have better self awareness of your triggers and also learn what will work for you. For instance, I know that if I don’t get proper sleep or have too much caffeine, I tend to get anxious. I also learned while writing my book (basically journaling) that I procrastinate because I have perfectionist traits (I had no awareness of this prior to writing my book)! There is lots to learn- so dive in!
Get professional help — There’s no shame in seeing a mental health professional! It is not a sign of weakness, but rather strength — to take responsibility and action for your own wellbeing! We go to the gym and get trainers to make our bodies strong, so why not go to a therapist to make our minds strong? Let’s normalize seeing a therapist! There’s something about talking to a trained mental health professional in a safe, non-judgemental, and confidential space that aids in the healing process. They are not your friend or family who have prior biases, they are there to listen and to help you learn skills for your mental wellness. It’s not easy, and sometimes it gets messy, but it’s so worth it for sustainable wellness!
Find joy in life — When was the last time you laughed? Like really laughed? We really should laugh more! Don’t take life so seriously, just enjoy the good times! Do things that you love, that bring your happiness, that spark excitement in your soul. Do more of that. Burst out into song, dance in your living room with your kids, eat ice cream with your dog, watch a comedy special with your partner, dance in the rain by yourself. Make time for joy. You deserve it.
Giving back — One of the tips I give in my book for when you are feeling anxious is to compliment someone. It breaks that stress pattern. Scientific studies have shown that when we help others it can reduce stress, increase our sense of meaning, life satisfaction, and self-confidence. Even small acts of kindness like a smile can activate our reward center in our brain. You can give back by volunteering, helping a stranger, caring for animals, and supporting friends and family in tough times.
Be kind to yourself — The way we speak to ourselves dictates our mood and consequently our wellbeing. Positive self-talk influences our subconscious mind which affects our thoughts and behaviors. Imagine how happy we would be if we constantly spoke to ourselves with love and compassion. Imagine how happy we would be if we forgave ourselves for our mistakes and learned from them. When we uplift ourselves and stop being so hard on ourselves we create a space for growth and healing. Positive inner dialogue also improves our quality of life. We should be our #1 cheerleaders and root for ourselves, because if we don’t, who will?

How about teens and pre-teens. Are there any specific new ideas you would suggest for teens and pre-teens to optimize their mental wellness?

Positive self-talk is the #1 way to live a happier life. Talk to yourself in a loving, compassionate, and kind way! We are often so mean to ourselves. Catch yourself when you find yourself talking negatively and quickly correct it. Awareness is key and it takes practice. Become aware of negative self-talk. Always be kind to yourself and talk to yourself like you would your best friend. If you do make a mistake, understand that you are a human and not a robot. Learn and grow from it, don’t let it despair and cripple you. Use mistakes and failures to catapult you to betterment.

Human connection is so important to treat others with love and respect. Don’t burn any bridges on the way to the top. Keep in mind we are all human, don’t be intimidated by others or bosses, talk to them with the intention of a human connection, and you will probably have a more fulfilling conversation.

As a woman of color and mother of two, what are some tips you can give our audience who may be experiencing mental health struggles within the home and/or work?

Ask for help! Whether that be hiring a babysitter, nanny, a cleaning service, or asking family for help. Summertime is great because a lot of high school and college students are looking for jobs! Anything to take something off your plate! Being a mom is a full-time job, with no breaks, and it’s OK to ask for help. You don’t need to be perfect, you don’t need to do it all, and it’s okay if the house is a little messy. If you have trust issues, make sure you conduct interviews, background checks, and you can even be home while getting a mama’s helper! Perform working interviews, where you can watch the babysitter with your kid and evaluate if they are the best fit. Getting help is a major game changer, so let go of the control a little bit and get some rest!
Let go of “Mom guilt.” I talk about mom guilt in my book, because it’s something I experience a lot and need to intentionally validate myself on decisions I make for my self-care. Self-care is about doing something for yourself that leaves you feeling refreshed and rejuvenated such as going out with friends, taking a nice walk, having a cup of coffee while you journal. If it is difficult for you to do activities for yourself, reframe your thought to, “I am taking care of myself, so I can better take care of my family” or “When I take care of myself, I am a more patient and present mother.”
Take breaks from social media (don’t compare yourself to other moms). There she is the “perfect” mother, the one who always looks put together, who cuts out smiley faces out of food for her kid’s meals, whose house is always spotless, the husband joyfully helping with the kids and chores, and they are always jet setting on a far away exotic getaway. Do you want in on a little secret, no matter how perfect these mamas appear, they are far from perfect. First of all, perfection doesn’t exist. Second, you are only seeing their highlight reel, and never compare your real life to someone’s highlight reel. Trust me on this, there are tantrums, blowouts, messy kitchens, and screaming kids on a plane behind the screen. So take a break from social media, and when you find yourself getting upset seeing someone’s life appear so perfect, remind yourself of the reality of the situation. We are humans, kids are humans, and we are not robots. If we were all perfect, what would be the fun in that?

What is your best piece of advice from your book “Take Your Lunch Break” and do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?

I will say that my book is filled with a lot of advice, tips, and strategies so it is hard to pick the best one because what is best for me, may not be best for you and vice versa. The book is designed so you can pick and choose what works for you and leave behind what doesn’t serve you.

However, one of my favorite messages is to experience difficult and hard emotions is what it means to be human. It is natural to feel sad, upset, angry, stressed, etc. It is the fight of these emotions that causes the struggle. The more we can accept and surrender to the array of emotions we feel, flow with them, let them come and go, the easier our life will be. What we resist, persists.

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?

Hands down “DARE:The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast” by Barry McDonagh changed my life. I talk about the important role the book “DARE” played in my transformational journey in my TEDx Talk. DARE and its method are what helped me overcome GAD and PD! That was the key! It was that method that helped me remove all the smoke and mirrors and see anxiety for what it really is — just an adrenaline rush. When I started reading DARE that was the first time I realized that I wasn’t alone, and what I was experiencing wasn’t unique to me. That in itself was everything. I finally realized I wasn’t going crazy! DARE is not just a book but a whole support system. They have an app, a Facebook support group, anxiety coaches, and provide full assistance for those experiencing anxiety.

I actually interviewed Barry McDonagh for my book, and his interview was one of my favorites, so definitely check that out! He also gave me a praise quote (a blurb) which appears on the back of my book! It was such a surreal moment. There was a time I was struggling with debilitating anxiety and I turned to this book called DARE. I fully immersed myself in the work and practiced the DARE method and getting outside my comfort zone. Now, here I was, four years later, interviewing the author of DARE and having him praise my book! It was such a cool and beautiful moment.

What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?

Thank you so much! People can connect with me on my Instagram and TikTok at @massomaa

My website is www.massomaa.com where they can get signed copies of my book, see the services I provide, and check for updates!

Massoma Alam: 5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness