Heroes Of The COVID Crisis: How Marissa Goldstein of Rafi Nova Donated Thousands Of Masks To Front Line Workers & People In Need
What’s really beautiful about this time is that we have been given an opportunity to hit pause. Our family is always out and about, and it has been so uplifting to see families walking together every night, or having a picnic in the lawn. Seeing kids riding around on their bikes instead of sitting on tablets gives me hope that we can all go back to the basics and find joy even in the simple moments.
As part of my series about people who stepped up to make a difference during the COVID19 Pandemic, I had the pleasure of interviewing Marissa Goldstein of Rafi Nova.
Rafi Nova is a social enterprise on a mission to create products that meet the ever-changing needs of families while connecting global communities. Founded as a fair-trade fashion brand to equip adventurous families with sustainably made travel bags, the company shifted focus to face masks to solve the urgent needs of families and communities.
Veterans of sustainable product manufacturing, Co-Founders Marissa and Adam Goldstein named the company after their two sets of twins and travel partners: Raya, Efi, Noa, and Eyva.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit. Can you tell us a bit about how and where you grew up?
My name is Marissa Goldstein and I grew up in Needham, MA, which is a suburb outside of Boston. I was the middle child with 2 siblings, and had two wonderful, hard working parents. My dad is a self-made entrepreneur and has always worked for himself, and my mom was a dedicated philanthropist. I was raised on the Jewish saying Tikkun Olam, which is essentially the notion that it is up to each of us to “repair the world” through social action, giving back to the community, and overall kindness.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
To be honest, as a mother of two sets of young twins who is also running a business, I don’t have a lot of time to read. But I do love listening to podcasts, How I Built This with Guy Raz in particular. I love learning from and about these other entrepreneurs and hearing their stories and what motivates them. It is always inspiring and motivating.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
I mentioned it already, but the phrase Tikkun Olam has taught me a lot, and inspired me throughout my life. The concept is very powerful to me. It has guided me throughout my childhood, and has continued to do so into my adult life.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. You are currently leading a social impact organization that has stepped up during the COVID-19 Pandemic. Can you tell us a bit about what you and your organization are trying to address?
Generally speaking, Rafi Nova is working hard to address the fact that communities and front line workers are in need of protective face coverings. When Covid-19 hit, we completely shifted our production to focus almost entirely on face masks, and we are really proud to say that we have sold over 500,000 masks and donated 40,000 along with monetary donations to TransParent USA, the ACLU and the NAACP. We really believe that wearing a mask is a simple act of kindness, and are passionate about our work surrounding that idea.
In your opinion, what does it mean to be a hero?
To me, being a hero is all about helping those around you who need it. Being able to notice when someone needs to be listened to, cared for, or lifted up. Heroic acts could be small, but they are always centered around others.
In your opinion or experience, what are “5 characteristics of a hero? Please share a story or example for each.
Kindness, sense of community, inclusivity, empathy, and motivation.
Kindness feels obvious, but I strongly believe that every act of kindness is a heroic action. We need to be filled with love to support each other. Having a sense of community is also huge. It allows people to know who they are helping and what their goals are.
Speaking of goals, inclusivity should always be something we strive towards. So many communities are ostracized, and by opening our arms and ears to them, there is so much good we can do.
I also think empathy is important, and is closely tied to motivation. Both are characteristics that I think are necessary, because without either, there is no impulsion to help others or do the right thing.
If heroism is rooted in doing something difficult, scary, or even self-sacrificing, what do you think drives some people — ordinary people — to become heroes?
First, and probably most importantly, I think people need to be empathetic. If you are empathetic, then you are able to see when something needs to be changed, if someone needs help, an organization needs support, or if a voice needs to be heard. Empathy drives the motivation to step up, even if it is difficult or scary.
What was the specific catalyst for you or your organization to take heroic action? At what point did you personally decide that heroic action needed to be taken?
When we first started, we knew we wanted Rafi Nova to have a social component. It was really important to us, so I studied case study after case study of social businesses that were an inspiration to us. Personally, everything I’ve ever done has had a social component. Even when I was starting Rafi Nova, I was also a co-founder of a startup that designed solar systems for off the grid communities in rural India. I have always wanted to give back, or help in some way, so Rafi Nova needed to do that too.
We were very drawn to the ethnic tribes in Vietnam, and when we saw the textiles they were making and the tradition behind them, we knew we wanted to shine a light on these wonderful communities by incorporating them into our designs. We started by purchasing the textiles at fair trade costs, but as the business continues to grow, we want to give back in a sustainable way. For example: we hope to one day donate educational materials!
Of course, when Covid-19 hit, we realized we needed to help in a different way, and when our daughter Eyva came up with the idea to make masks we immediately decided to put our resources towards this effort. I don’t think of ourselves as heroes, but I think our donations are heroic in the sense that we are supporting our heroes on the frontline.
Who are your heroes, or who do you see as heroes today?
There are so many heroes today, it is hard to pick just one. Right now there are frontline workers who are sacrificing their health for others, and there are also parents who are making sacrifices for their children during a confusing and scary quarantine. Both of those examples and everyone who is putting others before themselves are heroes to me.
Let’s talk a bit about what is happening in the world today. What specifically frightened or frightens you most about the pandemic?
I think what frightens me most is the thought of getting my parents or loved ones sick. I know that we are exposed, and even though we are taking every precaution possible, I’m definitely aware that there is still a possibility of getting someone sick.
I think it has also been scary for us to be unable to physically interact with our friends and family. Those relationships are so important to us, so distancing ourselves has been a challenge.
Despite that, what gives you hope for the future? Can you explain?
What’s really beautiful about this time is that we have been given an opportunity to hit pause. Our family is always out and about, and it has been so uplifting to see families walking together every night, or having a picnic in the lawn. Seeing kids riding around on their bikes instead of sitting on tablets gives me hope that we can all go back to the basics and find joy even in the simple moments.
What has inspired you the most about the behavior of people during the pandemic, and what behaviors do you find most disappointing?
I have been so inspired seeing communities come together! Seeing teenagers and young adults volunteering their time to grocery shop for the elderly has been incredible. It has definitely reinforced the idea that even though we are socially distant, we have never been more connected to each other.
What disappoints me the most is people that don’t wear a mask. Face coverings limit other people’s exposure, so by wearing a mask it is really a simple act of kindness. We aren’t asking for a large over the top gesture, so I do wish people would be more willing to help in this way.
Has this crisis caused you to reassess your view of the world or of society? We would love to hear what you mean.
There are many aspects of this crisis that have given me a restored faith in humanity. It has reinforced the idea that we don’t need a lot of extraneous things to thrive and be happy. It has created a closeness with those around me, and I honestly feel more connected with my friends and family than ever before.
All in all it has given me a new appreciation for the simple things in life, and inspired me to partake in things like small acts of kindness and being more creative.
What permanent societal changes would you like to see come out of this crisis?
I really hope to see all the kindness towards others and community building continue. Even when life “returns to normal” I hope that we return to a more simplified life. It’s great seeing everyone order food from their local restaurants and eat dinner together as a family, so I hope that doesn’t stop.
If you could tell other young people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?
I would tell them that it’s up to them! I would ask them what kind of world they want to live in, and what kind of a world they want to leave for their children in years to come. I really believe it is up to everyone individually to be a positive influence, and that we are all capable of making a difference.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
If I could start a movement, it would be completely focused on inclusivity. This is a central focus for our brand, but I also know that this seemingly simple act can have strong ripple effects. When people come together, despite their differences, we are met with new perspectives, ideas, opinions, and relationships. All of these things can lead to widespread change for good.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
I would absolutely love to meet with Ruth Bader Ginsberg. As a female entrepreneur, I am consistently inspired by her dedication to equality for both genders and more. She is such a powerful female leader, and I would be honored to speak with and learn from her.
How can our readers follow you online?
You can find us at @RafiNova_Go, and @TwinsOnTheGox2 on Instagram!
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
One should always find purpose in leaving the world, industry, state or neighborhood park a better place. Now, more than ever before, small acts of kindness are needed to reinvigorate and reignite all that is good.
As part of my series about “exciting developments in the travel industry over the next five years”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Chenelle McGee. She is the President / CEO of ShelbyKY Tourism in the Bluegrass State. McGee earned a Travel Marketing Professional Degree from STS Marketing College at the Univ. of North Georgia and is also a Certified Tourism Industry Specialist. She also earned the designation of Executive Bourbon Steward from the Stave & Thief Society Moonshine Univ. and serves on the Board of Directors for the Kentucky Black Bourbon Guild. McGee is also a Veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
From fine art to military boots and now the travel industry, I am always excited to take on new challenges and explorations. The Art Institute of California is where I first embraced a need for structure. Instead of taking a more traditional path of ad agency life, I jumped on the opportunity to have an adventure as an Intel Analyst with the United State Marine Corps.
When my husband and I got out of the military, the Marketing position at the ShelbyKY Tourism Commission introduced me to this community in a way I could have never imagined. When one of my mentors — Katie Fussenegger — left the role of President | CEO of ShelbyKY Tourism, I knew applying for the position was the challenge I needed to continue the economic growth of the tourism office and our community partnerships.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
There is never a dull moment and no day is ever the same! From strategizing and implementing marketing, to jumping over culverts to get the perfect shot of horses meandering in the fields.
Most people may find it interesting that, growing up, I never liked bourbon. Living in California before the big bourbon boom, I used to tell my Kentuckian husband all bourbon tasted like wood or burnt wood! Today, I serve on the Board of Directors for the Kentucky Black Bourbon Guild, went to Moonshine University to complete the Executive Bourbon Steward program and am always on the hunt for my next delicious bourbon!
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Just one? I’ve slipped in front of a parking lot full of travel writers, gotten lost on more backroads than you can imagine, forgot my script during a presentation, and the list goes on. I learned very early on that things don’t always work out the way you plan them. You just can’t take things too seriously!
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
There is a sense of community pride and hospitality that I am so pleased to say the ShelbyKY Tourism Team all buy into. I’ve overheard our Receptionist Sonja Craft help travelers with some of the strangest requests or complaints and they always leave happier than they walked in. Sonja exhibits true southern hospitality and is the first one to offer a helping hand. I couldn’t imagine a better fit for the face of Shelby County to our visitors.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”? Can you share a story about that?
Like many around the world, COVID-19 devastated our community. With reports of the U.S. Travel Industry set to lose $500 Billion in 2020, the continued progression of this virus proves to be a challenge to our industry. However, there’s also opportunity. As we continue to develop and recreate how we do business during this “new norm,” we must be willing and eager to evolve and always be cognitive of the effects our decisions will make on our community. We see this in virtual tours, the increase in video conferencing and the sheer number of entertainment innovations.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
In the tourism industry, I have been so fortunate to have so many mentors such as Katie Fussenegger, Saundra Robertson and Dawn Przystal. I have also been inspired and mentored by individuals I’ve never met through my love for reading and the ever-present realm of social media.
Let’s jump to the core of our discussion. Can you share with our readers about the innovations that you are bringing to the travel and hospitality industries?
As we plan for the coming years, it is my intention to focus more attention on partnerships, data and innovation to assist with the economic growth and recovery of our community. One way we are looking to pursue this strategy is through our Community-Based Committees, which will participate in the development of ShelbyKY. They are intentionally diverse and bring together a vast array of industries, ages, race and experience. These committees will focus on the five main pillars of our strategic plan: Marketing, Development, Enhancement, Workforce and Advocacy.
Which “pain point” are you trying to address by introducing this innovation?
Tourism promotion is a tool that helps our local community by putting people to work and making our communities a great place to live. As an industry, we are so focused on our mission to bring outside dollars and tourists into our community, we rarely explain or share our story to the communities we represent. These community-based committees open the conversation on how to grow our recovering economy, improve our community and, in doing so, drive tourism.
How do you envision that this might disrupt the status quo?
Tourism is an investment in our community and our people. By investing time in these community-based committees we build upon our transparency, accountability and create ambassadors for the tourism industry.
Can you share 5 examples of how travel and hospitality companies will be adjusting over the next five years to the new ways that consumers like to travel?
-Safety will be a leading factor in travel for some time.
-Diversity is no longer a luxury, it’s an expectation.
-With budget cuts and a recovering industry, businesses will need data to back every decision moving forward.
-Good customer service is no longer an option. Reviews will continue to play a strong role in the travelers’ mindset when selecting a destination to visit.
-Technology will continue to change faster than ever. Employees at every level must continue to learn and evolve.
You are a “travel insider”. How would you describe your “perfect vacation experience”?
I love to “hub and spoke” when I travel. Selecting one main city for a vacation while doing day trips to the surrounding cities is a worthwhile way to explore a region.
A great catalyst for that is the Kentucky Bourbon Trail. The distilleries provide visitors with a taste of Kentucky’s native spirit while offering a full scope of what this picturesque state has to offer. From heritage brands that have called this great state home, to rolling pastures and backroads that make you want to stay lost, I recommend visitors pick a few spots and see what adventures may come.
If bourbon isn’t your thing, try one of the many culinary trails found in Kentucky. From tacos to Hot Browns, you’ll be sure to thank me later!
Can you share with our readers how have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
One should always find purpose in leaving the world, industry, state or neighborhood park a better place. Now, more than ever before, small acts of kindness are needed to reinvigorate and reignite all that is good.
On a professional level, I am currently the Committee Chair for the Freddie Johnson Scholarship Fund. After receiving approval in 2020, the Kentucky Black Bourbon Guild is developing a Scholarship Fund in honor of Freddie Johnson. Johnson is the third generation of his family to work at Buffalo Trace Distillery. He is a true legend not only to the bourbon industry, but the African American heritage. The Freddie Johnson scholarship was created to assist minorities interested in entering spirits related industries.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
One of the key things I will continue to hold onto after COVID is the return to investing and buying local. So, my movement would be one that urges people to always support local.
Books have been around for thousands of years, and provide a certain mystique and truth that can’t be always explained outside of the front and back cover. A book has the ability to establish a perspective that doesn’t always translate as powerfully in other forms of communication. I think for a lot of people, reading is an inherently personal experience that can’t be duplicated with other forms of entertainment. The words on the page can resonate deeply and inspire change.
As part of my series about “How to write a book that sparks a movement” I had the pleasure of interviewing Brian Johnson.
Brian Johnson is quickly becoming one of the most inspirational thought leaders of his generation. Brian is an Emmy winning TV producer and an Amazon #1 best-selling author, host and inspirational speaker. As an Emmy winning talent producer; his rolodex reads like a who’s who in Hollywood. As a personal coach; Johnson’s clients have included notable Fortune 500 companies and some of the largest nonprofits in the U.S. As an in-demand speaker, Brian has shared his message in front of executives and entrepreneurs around the country. Brian’s webinars and coaching sessions regularly sell out to students across the globe.
Thank you so much for joining us Brian! Can you share the “backstory” about how you grew up?
I grew up in a small town called Skipperville, Alabama. Population of 600 people, where the rooster wakes up every morning religiously. The town has one caution light and is about 15 minutes from your nearest town. It was my dream to play in the NBA so my adolescence was consumed with playing sports and trying to figure out how to take care of my Mom. She was a single parent and her constant workload took a toll on me emotionally by wanting to help her financially.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story?
When I was younger, I didn’t like to read. I only read or skimmed through books in order to qualify for a local promotion where students could win a Pizza Hut Personal Pan Pizza after reading a certain number of books. Reading wasn’t a passion for me when I was younger. The only books I was interested in were sports books about people like Michael Jordan, Bo Jackson, Walter Payton and Wayne Gretzky. Although at that time I have to admit I wasn’t an avid reader, I vividly remember the photos in those books. I loved the pictures in them and that really helped me get comfortable with books and led me to become a voracious reader.
What was the moment or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
My personal story of wanting to commit suicide coupled with my pursuit of moving to Los Angeles to live my dreams. I realized that my personal journey affected so many people when I talked about it, that I felt responsible to share it to inspire others.
What impact did you hope to make when you wrote this book?
My book is titled “ Live Your Dreams Out Loud”, and with my book I hoped to bring a message to the world that extended beyond the traditional aspect of just living your dreams. I wanted to craft a more tangible process around the “How.” Also, I wanted people to be doers and that’s what the “Out Loud” is for.
Did the actual results align with your expectations? Can you explain?
The actual results exceeded my expectations. I didn’t think that I would become an Amazon Best Seller and sell thousands of copies as a self-published author. I’m a kid from Skipperville Alabama, having just moved to Los Angeles with $325 and a red suitcase and just finished working on The Arsenio Hall show. It was my dream to get this in the hands of as many people as possible, but I didn’t know that it would have these results.
What moment let you know that your book had started a movement? Please share a story.
I knew that my book had started a movement when I got asked to speak at a national convention. I didn’t think that it would happen all so fast but I went from a broke Uber driver to a best-selling author in a few months. As an African American man; the fact that I had been transparent with my mental health struggles created a great amount of support and mobilized people to want to share and support. My story reached individuals at the corporate level and organizations brought me in to speak. When I was on my book tour, I did media across the country and I was able to not only remove the stigma of mental health issues, but to inspire and motivate people.
What kinds of things did you hear right away from readers? What are the most frequent things you hear from readers about your book now? Are they the same? Different?
When people who knew me learned that I had dealt with depression and a suicide attempt, it started conversations among families and friends that became more aware of mental health issues and identified either struggles they had personally, or it shed light on the actions of people they knew. A lot of people said “ I had no idea you were struggling like that”
The things that I heard the most from readers who didn’t know me before is that they thanked me for sharing my story. I had a lot of readers tell me they loved the book because it was easy to understand, and it made them realize they could build structure to their dream thoughts and get started immediately. The most frequent thing that I hear now is that this book is inspirational and really helped them with a plan and framework, and that they are ready for the next book.
What is the most moving or fulfilling experience you’ve had as a result of writing this book? Can you share a story?
The most moving and fulfilling experience that I’ve gotten from this book is readers telling me that this book saved their life. I don’t think that there is anything that can top that. Because I have had so many readers talk to me about how my transparency around my suicide attempt helped them talk to people about theirs, In 2019 I put out a short video during suicide prevention month. A young man in Europe reached out to me that he was contemplating taking his life and we began to communicate online. When he stopped communicating with me, I reached out to his family via social media. After much back and forth they went to check on him and found that he was very close to taking his life. If I never had one moment of success with this book, that moment alone would have made it all worth it.
Have you experienced anything negative? Do you feel there are drawbacks to writing a book that starts such colossal conversation and change?
I personally haven’t experienced anything negative. That’s all about perspective too. I’m a pretty positive guy and always try to see the good in things that may not seem so desirable to most. I don’t think that there is anything wrong with writing any book. The thoughts and ideas not fully unleashed do humanity a disservice by not bringing that energy to the world.
Can you articulate why you think books in particular have the power to create movements, revolutions, and true change?
Books have been around for thousands of years, and provide a certain mystique and truth that can’t be always explained outside of the front and back cover. A book has the ability to establish a perspective that doesn’t always translate as powerfully in other forms of communication. I think for a lot of people, reading is an inherently personal experience that can’t be duplicated with other forms of entertainment. The words on the page can resonate deeply and inspire change.
What is the one habit you believe contributed the most to you becoming a bestselling writer? (i.e. perseverance, discipline, play, craft study) Can you share a story or example?
The habits that contributed to me becoming a bestselling author is strategy and consistency. It was also a necessity of mine. Because of necessity I had to be strategic and consistent in order to survive. The energy that propelled this book forward was survival. When I was making my way in Hollywood, I worked as an Uber driver. I would start at 6am and work until 10pm 7 days per week. When I had downtime I was either parked on the side of the road writing, or I was at a coffee shop writing. I did that until the book was completely finished, marketing strategy was created and the book had successfully launched.
What challenge or failure did you learn the most from in your writing career? Can you share the lesson(s) that you learned?
The biggest lesson that I’ve learned is that you don’t have to be a great writer to author a book. I know that sounds contradictory, but there are plenty of people that can help you with the administration of getting the book written. I was never a strong writer, but I had a great idea and the determination to get it written. The example I like to give is that some of the greatest musical artists and performers have never written a single song.
I’ve also learned that if done strategically, self-publishing can really be lucrative.
Many aspiring authors would love to make an impact similar to what you have done. What are the 5 things writers needs to know if they want to spark a movement with a book? (please include a story or example for each)
5 Things:
Make the DECISION to Get Started
Develop a plan and strategy
Determine what your accountability will look like
Model somebody else.
Understand how to utilize the internet as your best friend
The world, of course, needs progress in many areas. What movement do you hope someone (or you!) starts next? Can you explain why that is so important?
My next movement is continuing and building on the one that I already have. Also, teaching others how to self publish a book. It’s important to me to teach others to do what I’ve been really successful at doing as it relates to self-publishing. In terms of a movement; the world needs a lot of progress in a lot of different areas. I’m adamant about staying inspired in all facets of life. It’s vital to always have a positive outlook and perspective on life. I’m launching a new web-based show called The Daily Inspiration which will release 7 days a week that will give you the necessary steps to being inspired daily. This is important because we are in the middle of a pandemic, race relations, and uncertainty about most aspects of life.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
I’m everywhere as @BJTheDreamer
Thank you so much for these insights. It was a true pleasure to do this with you.
There are many downsides of Imposter Syndrome, but the short answer is that it can limit your ability to perform and keep you from realizing your potential. A real-life example would be not speaking confidently during a speaking event or an important pitch because you have doubts about your intellectual competence.
As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Andrew Morgans.
Andrew Morgans is a thought leader in the Amazon Branding space. He is a resident mentor at UMKC’s Regnier Institute for Entrepreneurship and Innovation, and guest lectures at the Henry W. Bloch School of Management. Andrew found early success as an internal corporate e-commerce manager. In less than a year he launched and scaled corporate brands new to Amazon topping over $1 million in new sales and repeated this more than once with several different businesses. With this success, he launched both the Landlocked Co Apparel brand, and Marknology™ (www.marknology.com), an Amazon Brand Accelerator. Marknology™ has worked with over 300+ global brands and managed sales of over $150 million. Marknology is also an Amazon Advertising Partner and has worked with clients all across the globe. Andrew is featured on a weekly podcast, Startup Hustle and speaks on e-commerce, branding and Amazon at conferences and events all over the United States.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
I was born in Canada, then raised in Africa until the age of 16. I returned to the United States, where I lived in Hawaii for my first two years in University. I moved to Kansas City in 2006 and started my degree in computer science and my first business. I was touring the United States in a band, but it was there that I first learned about branding, product development, marketing, b2b marketing, and sales. 2011 — present could really be summarized as falling in and out of love, trying a career in networking and security that I hated. Picking myself up time and time again, and ultimately going from a bartender to educating CEOs and founders on e-commerce best practices in 2020. Even with a lot of blanks in my story, I’m sure you can see how one could deal with Imposter Syndrome in a big way, and why I want to share some of my tips and mindset to overcome it.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take away’ you learned from that?
In the particular space that I am in (Amazon Consulting), there has been a lot of doubt in regard to its importance in e-commerce. It seems so straightforward now, but in the early days, my enthusiasm for this platform was met by naysayers constantly. Oftentimes, I was confronted by someone with more experience, more knowledge, more education, more social status, or simply more financial success. Proven success allowed me to slowly gain more confidence to speak to my area of expertise, and regardless of who I was speaking to, speak confidently and boldly about my experience and belief in the Amazon platform as a major player in many consumer goods e-commerce strategy. I started in corporate America and was an E-Commerce manager by title for a medium-sized company. The story that stands out, is one that had me leave that job and its safety, for entrepreneurship and uncertainty. The company was showering me with false promises of further education, or leadership positions, and at the same time ignoring much of the advice I was giving around e-commerce. I was falling in love with e-commerce. It was the perfect blend of creativity and data for me, and my experience made me a natural fit for it. The owner would shoot down my ideas, then go to a conference six months later and come back with a master plan. I knew that if I wanted to be great in this industry, I needed to take a leap into the unknown and that meant working on my own. Brands and companies everywhere were overlooking Amazon, but I was lucky enough to find enough brands to keep me going in those early years as an early adopter of Amazon. I look back at my time at this company as one full of learning, and I look back with pride because it was there that I gathered enough courage to believe in myself and choose to invest in myself when no one else would.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Marknology stands out because we operate with integrity and continue to innovate where others dare not go. Amazon is hard, and because of that, we have found a lot of success taking on these hard challenges on behalf of brands worldwide. I can’t begin to tell you the number of “firsts” that we have been a part of on Amazon. We are one of the first Amazon Advertising Partner Agencies. We were the first to put high-end neckties on Amazon; the first to add fresh steaks on Amazon; the first to expand internationally with clients. The list goes on and on. I think that by being a company that keeps innovation and hard work at its core, you will always stand out in a crowd where “easy” is the easy path to take.
No one achieves success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful to who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I am thankful for my sisters Veronika, Brooklyn and RhoDana. They are absolute geniuses and we have built this great team and company on their backs. Yes, we are a family team, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. When they decided to give up their careers to move to Kansas City and help me scale this agency is when we really started to grow, and the vision grew exponentially.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?
I would define Imposter Syndrome as “Feelings of inadequacy despite evident successes.” People that have Imposter Syndrome feel like they don’t belong where they are figuratively or literally. They feel unusually high amounts of self-doubt, or intellectual fraudulence despite there being proof of their competence.
What are the downsides of Imposter Syndrome? How can it limit people?
There are many downsides of Imposter Syndrome, but the short answer is that it can limit your ability to perform and keep you from realizing your potential. A real-life example would be not speaking confidently during a speaking event or an important pitch because you have doubts about your intellectual competence.
How can the experience of Imposter Syndrome impacts how one treats others?
I think most of us would agree that the way someone treats others stems from the way that a particular person feels about themselves. We project onto others our feelings, our insecurities, our bias, and once you are aware of this, it becomes so easy to see in others. I can see areas of insecurity in others because I myself have had to overcome so many. When I see people not being confident with their words, or how they’re perceived, it reminds me of my own insecurities and my own internal struggle with Imposter Syndrome. For me, I think it makes me a better listener and allows me to remove my judgments of a person and allow me to hear them fully. If someone hasn’t overcome Imposter Syndrome, it can cause them to question others, force justifying answers, and create an environment with others that’s not open and safe.
We would love to hear your story about your experience with Imposter Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?
I have done a lot of things in my life, and pitching to 100-Million-dollar CEO’s, or companies like Adidas or Marvel is not anywhere I thought I would end up. Imposter syndrome is very real and depending on how far you’ve had to climb to where you are now, the effects can be even stronger. Even as a serial entrepreneur now, I deal with imposter syndrome and I’m not sure that it ever goes away. In order to keep growing and keep moving forward, I have come up with little habits or techniques that help me get confidence for that million-dollar pitch. When you’ve been a warehouse worker, or a bartender making $3 an hour, and make the leap to $200+ an hour or even more, the leap mentally that you deserve to be in the spot you are in is overwhelming at times. As someone trailblazing an industry, I face a little bit of Imposter Syndrome every single day. What if I give this CEO the wrong advice, or I claim to be an Amazon expert, but I get my facts mixed up, or what if I don’t know the answer to how to deal with a global pandemic? Does that make me an intellectual fraud? We know that everyone makes mistakes, but for many competitive people that are really hard on themselves, this is our worst nightmare. As I said, I battle Imposter Syndrome and other insecurities every single day, as I think many of us do. The key is to gain perspective around knowing that the real battle is internal, and no one can stop you but your own mind. If you are able to control your thoughts, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?
Yes, I did get rid of the feeling! I used to be unable to speak in front of people, and now I speak at conferences around the world and with very successful CEO’s almost daily.
I am not sure that I will ever eliminate it, but I do know how to mitigate it. I surround myself with people that encourage me and have developed daily habits that strengthen my fortitude as well. Simple things like positive affirmations and continued education play a big part in my growth.
In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Imposter Syndrome takes to move forward despite feeling like an “Imposter”? Please share a story or an example for each.
1. Be as Authentic as possible. Try to only speak to what you know for certain, and don’t let anyone force your conversations to have you speak things that are not true.
2. Write down the negative things that you say to yourself in your head. Even if you write one a day, you will quickly gather quite the list. Now read over those things and tell yourself the counter of each one. Focus on the next time that it happens, or you hear yourself whisper that self-doubt internally, and this time bring awareness to it, and try not to say it!
3. Practice answering people’s objections. Sometimes the fear comes from someone saying something that we won’t know the answer to. This is inevitable and will happen eventually if it hasn’t already. What we can do though, is preparing for the unexpected. Get someone you trust and go over your topic and have them try to pick it apart. Any questions or objections that you didn’t have an answer for, study, and find ways to steer conversations in the direction you want them to go.
4. Focus on your strengths. For me, this was a hard one, but once I got it, I really saw a ton of improvement in all areas of my life. Instead of focusing on all of the things I was bad at (Like public speaking, or the written word), I focused on what I was good at. Building relationships, storytelling, being authentic, the list goes on. Maybe I’m not always the best speaker in the room, but I do have knowledge that they don’t have on a topic that they all need to know! When I focused on being able to help people, by sharing my knowledge with them, it allowed me mentally to move forward. If I made mistakes it was okay because I knew my intentions were in the right place.
5. “Comparison is the thief of joy”: A cliché quote, but one that I think carries so much value. If you can stop comparing yourself to others, you will find so much more confidence in yourself. There are people that started businesses in college years before I did or didn’t get married and then divorced before their thirtieth birthday, or that don’t have kids, or that found success in their first year of business. That doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t to you either. What matters is: “Are you a better version of yourself today, than you were yesterday?” Can you do better, achieve more happiness, work harder, relax harder, dream bigger? For me, the answer has always been, Yes. When people say I work too much, I simply smile, and respond with: “Compared to who?”. I know what it will take to achieve my dream and looking at someone else’s dream has never helped me one bit.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
If I could inspire a movement, it would be one perhaps with VR capabilities. Where we as Americans could live in the shoes of others for a single day and experience their perspectives. I believe it would educate so many people and open hearts and minds for more understanding than ever before.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
Gary Vee — I want to know his personal and company’s approach to selling and branding on the Amazon platform. Specifically, around his endeavors to get his wine into the Amazon marketplace.
I’m extremely passionate about environmental issues, and I’m lucky that my job allows me to put my marketing skills toward environmental causes. Through our pro bono Stand Up initiative, we support environmental-focused non-profit organizations through a mix of PR and digital marketing services. I’ve been lucky to work with such amazing organizations as Friends of the Smokies, the Blue Ridge Parkway Foundation, and the San Juan Mountains Association on their social media marketing strategies. I love when social media is a force for good, rather than the swirl of negativity that it sometimes is.
As a part of our series about How To Leverage Instagram To Grow Your Business, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ashleigh Sherman, Social Media Strategist for Darby Communications. Darby Communications is a boutique PR & digital marketing agency serving the outdoor, fitness, and mountain lifestyle industries. As Darby Communications’ Social Media Strategist, Ashleigh oversees strategy for all of the agency’s social accounts, ensuring social best practices are followed, brand voice maintained, and social goals exceeded.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
Thank you so much for the opportunity. I always love the chance to geek out over all things social media marketing! I actually studied journalism in school before I realized that path wasn’t for me. Though I didn’t love newsroom life, I did love storytelling, which I think is at the very heart of what any good marketer does. Every piece of content — be it a press release or a blog post or an Instagram caption — is a chance to tell a client’s story.
After graduating, I took six months off to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail — 2,200 miles from Georgia to Maine. After emerging from the woods, I knew I wanted to be a part of the outdoor industry, helping outdoor brands tell their stories and encouraging more people to get outside. At Darby Communications, based in Asheville, NC, I’ve gotten the chance to combine my love of storytelling with my love of the outdoors, working with clients from all over the outdoor, fitness, and mountain lifestyle industries.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started this career?
Well, these past few months have certainly been an interesting time for any digital marketer, but especially those in the social media world. As the agency’s Social Media Strategist, it’s been my job to help our client’s navigate their online presence during both the COVID-19 pandemic and the Black Lives Matter protests. I’m extremely proud of our clients’ responses, both digitally and otherwise — they have acted with humility, empathy, and authenticity. More importantly, those who chose to make strong statements backed those statements up with concrete action. As a marketer, I’m a huge believer in the power of words, but sometimes actions actually make the strongest statements. (It’s almost as if there’s a popular saying expressing this very sentiment…)
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When I started out, I was coordinating a ton of giveaways for our clients. Giveaways, when done right, are a great way to grow your social media following or build your newsletter subscriber list. But they’re also a ton of behind-the-scenes work, with many moving parts to keep track of and many participating individuals to wrangle. If you’re not careful, it’s easy to let a detail slip through the cracks.
We once spent months coordinating a big holiday giveaway for one of our clients. The big giveaway was to be divided into a series of flash giveaways, each with its own theme and 3–4 participating brands. It wasn’t until the 3rd or 4th day of the giveaway that we realized that something had gone wrong on the backend — and we weren’t collecting any email addresses! Here’s the lesson: always choose transparency. We admitted our mistake to our followers and gave them another chance to enter, rounding out the giveaway with a sizable amount of last-minute entries.
Ok. Let’s now move to the main focus of our discussion. For the benefit of our readers, can you explain why you are an authority about Social Media Marketing?
Sure. As the agency’s Social Media Strategist, I oversee strategy for all of the agency’s social accounts, ensuring social best practices are followed, brand voice maintained, and social goals exceeded. We regularly leverage creative branding, engaging storytelling, targeted online promotions, and strategic brand collaborations to heighten a brand’s reach, capture new audiences, and usher customers through their sales funnel. We frequently work with very limited, even nonexistent, social budgets to dramatically grow a brand’s reach (imagine a 600% increase in followers in one year through an entirely organic strategy…it’s possible!).
Which social media platform have you found to be most effective to use to increase business revenues? Can you share a story from your experience?
It really depends on the brand. Our clients often have limited time and resources. That’s why it’s our job to make sure they are directing their energy and resources to the digital marketing channels that are the best fit for them and their audience…and then making sure they are making the most of those mediums. When deciding which social media platforms are best for a brand, we ask ourselves three things: What type of content does the brand excel at? Where is the brand’s target audience spending their time? And where are the brand’s competitors spending their energy?
Let’s talk about Instagram specifically, now. Can you share 6 ways to leverage Instagram to dramatically improve your business? Please share a story or example for each.
Know how to work the algorithm. Instagram is famously tight-lipped about what content performs well in their algorithm and what content doesn’t; however, they have let a few things slip. Posting consistently, encouraging engagement on your own posts (by asking your followers to answer a question in the comments, for example), and engaging with other people’s posts all help your content be seen by more people.
Be smart about imagery and captions. High-quality imagery has always been king on Instagram; however, high-quality captions are becoming more and more important. The longer someone stays on your post reading a caption, the better the post performs in the algorithm. That’s why long, journal entry-like captions are becoming more and more popular among both brands and influencers.
Leverage hashtags, tags and geotags. Hashtags, tags, and geotags all give Instagram users just one more way to find your content. Use a mix of brand, community, geographic, trending, and other relevant hashtags to reach a wide variety of relevant audiences. Avoid using the exact same hashtags every day, as you will likely reach the same audience over and over again. For a cleaner look, stick these hashtags in the first comment.
Use calls-to-action to your advantage. Always include a CTA in your Instagram bio. A short “Click the link below to shop your favorites” can do wonders for your referrals. Frequently include a CTA in your Instagram posts. A simple “Tap the link in our bio to find out more” will get your audience to your bio link. Finally, unlike Instagram post captions, IGTV video descriptions are clickable. Take advantage of this exciting Instagram tool!
Don’t forget about IGTV and Stories. Speaking of IGTV…recent tweaks to the video platform have made IGTV a must-have for any brand serious about engaging consumers through video. Not only does IGTV now allow for vertical or horizontal videos, IGTV videos appear 4-times larger than photos on the Explore page! And Stories are great for driving meaningful engagement. Be sure to experiment with stickers such as the poll, question, and emoji slider stickers to drive engagement directly
Coordinate targeted giveaways for major growth. Giveaways are where our clients see the biggest bumps in followers. The key is to be strategic about the brands you select as giveaway partners. Whether you’re using a giveaway to grow your social media following or build your newsletter subscriber list, make sure your giveaway partners’ audiences are aligned closely with yours. Otherwise, you’ll just lose all your new followers once the giveaway is over.
Because of the position that you are in, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I’m extremely passionate about environmental issues, and I’m lucky that my job allows me to put my marketing skills toward environmental causes. Through our pro bono Stand Up initiative, we support environmental-focused non-profit organizations through a mix of PR and digital marketing services. I’ve been lucky to work with such amazing organizations as Friends of the Smokies, the Blue Ridge Parkway Foundation, and the San Juan Mountains Association on their social media marketing strategies. I love when social media is a force for good, rather than the swirl of negativity that it sometimes is.
Some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them 🙂
I’ve been lucky to meet some incredible people through my work, from Mirna Valerio to Jennifer Pharr Davis. However, if there’s one person in the outdoor industry I could meet, I think it would be ultrarunner and fellow thru-hiker Heather ‘Anish’ Anderson. In 2018, Anish became the fastest female Triple Crowner, first female Calendar Year Triple Crowner, AND first female Triple Triple Crowner. She is also only the person in history to have held the unsupported speed record simultaneously on both the Appalachian Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail. Her book “Thirst: 2600 Miles to Home” is one of my favorites and a must-read for any adventurer.
Thank you so much for these great insights. This was very enlightening!
If people only knew that the families from the lowest income brackets could go to 60K-70K a year schools for next to nothing, we could change a lot of lives. I think there is a severe lack of education of how colleges really work, and that college is actually affordable to many low-income families. Just show up with decent grades and a decent test score, and so many doors would open. I think a lot of families and gifted students just assume they could never go to an “expensive” college. I take on a few pro-bono cases each year with families that can barely put food on the table, and you would be amazed at the things I have seen.
As a part of our series about “dreamers who ignored the naysayers and did what others said was impossible”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Danny Umali.
Since 2010, Danny Umali has been serving families in the metro Atlanta area as a private college planner. In 2014, he launched Game Theory College Planners after realizing that a modern enrollment management and research-based approach was needed to address the college problem. Danny was also the first college planner to successfully incorporate professional social media guidance within the context of college admissions and financial aid. Today, Danny works with families nationwide and stays on the bleeding edge of enrollment management trends in higher education.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Can you tell us your ‘backstory’?
I am one of six kids raised in a Filipino household. My parents are first-generation immigrants who came here looking for a better life in the United States. As a child of first-generation immigrants, I always felt like I lived in two different worlds: the Filipino microcosm that was my home and the outside world as it was in the 1980’s. (If you want a pretty rough biography of my life, just listen to any of Jo Koy’s comedic sets.) I am part of Generation X, so we’ve been through a lot of changes. I remember life before cell phones and the internet. Our family didn’t own a computer until the mid 1990’s. I learned a lot about computers my freshman year of college in an introductory course and everything I know about technology was built from that foundation.
Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Actually I am. Being sheltered in place, I watched a lot of YouTube. I think we all did. I was inspired by a lot of the talent I saw out there and decided to launch my own vlog. I realized that YouTube is a search engine for a lot of people and that video content may be easier to consume than the written word or a recorded podcast as our collective attention spans continue to shrink. I wanted to create something that was authentic, relevant and useful. I wanted families to have ready and free access to helpful information around the college planning process. With the current pandemic, a lot of college plans are being postponed or completely wrecked so access to this kind of information is critical. The higher education landscape is undergoing some unprecedented changes as we speak so I want to guide families through that. They need this information and I did wanted my content to be a few mouse clicks away.
In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?
We teach families how colleges really work. A lot of what the general public knows about college admissions and financial aid is broken. In addition, a lot of educational consultants in my field are just not spotting maybe even ignoring the current trends. The traditional approach to college planning really has not changed much since the late 1970’s. We look at college planning through the lens of enrollment management instead of traditional admissions counseling. We can probably spend several segments just going over the specifics of that statement, but I’ll give you a few examples.
For most students, going to an in-state public college actually costs more than going to an “expensive” private university. Skyrocketing college costs and student loan debt are not the core issues. The core issue is college completion. 6 out of 10 students will not have a college degree after 10 years. Only 19% of students in the U.S will graduate in 4 years.
Did you know that outside scholarships can actually hurt you by reducing the financial aid you get from the college.? Did you know that colleges may evaluate the student’s social media footprint, sometimes before the college application is even submitted? Did you know that competition for your student is the primary driver behind merit scholarships, not necessarily good grades and test scores?
We take the reality of enrollment management and incorporate these principles with our approach to the college problem. We realize that there are really three goals with college: getting in, fitting in, and getting paid.
Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?
The thing you need to know about me is that despite all of my accomplishments as a college planner, I myself have never obtained a college degree. I dropped out of college my freshman year so that I could marry the love of my life that I had just met on campus. (Karen and I have been married for over 23 yearsare still married by the way, and we run our company together.) Starting off as newlyweds we got by waiting tables and tending bar for several years. I did move up in retail management, but I had bigger dreams of starting my own business. I don’t know how Karen did it, but she finally finished college by going full-time and working full-time hours. I never did, because I could never fit college in with all the travel involved with my retail management career. I left Apple in 2009 and made the jump into a wealth management firm where I was recruited. I finally made the move to start my business.
When I made the jump, it was a struggle working in a competitive and commission only environment. We suffered a lot during those years, and we struggled financially. We survived on retirement savings, but things just never really took off. When the retirement funds ran out, my mother, who had been my relentless cheerleader all my life, said something that shook me to my core. She asked me what the hell I was doing and why I just couldn’t find a normal job with normal steady income. She asked me why I had to think so big. I am paraphrasing here but I’ll never forget the weight and the significance of her words. She did not use the word “impossible” but she made me feel that what I was trying to accomplish was. I don’t blame her for what she said. I think she was being a good mom and was genuinely concerned about me.
I did a lot of personal reflection after that conversation and almost pulled the plug on the whole thing, but I knew I would never forgive myself if I never saw my vision through to the end. I am glad that I did.
I have no regrets, but what drives me and what frequently hits me is this realization: What could I have accomplished if I went back in time and was given the opportunity of going through my own enrollment management process? In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong? 🙂
In the end, my talents were discovered by the right people and I was asked to help start a college planning agency in Atlanta. They needed someone with a wealth management background that was not shy about presenting to groups of people. We had some modest success, but a very special mentor came along and helped me branch out to finally start my own shop, where I had complete control and made all of the decisions. That is when my life changed. I launched Game Theory College Planners June 2014, and I will never forget it. The excitement and sheer terror of starting a business leads to a lot of lost sleep and to some of the highest highs you will ever experience. Here we are in our 6th year and we are still thriving, even during this pandemic.
Since 2014, the revenue my company generated grew at an exponential rate, and the success we had and continue to have still feels like a dream.
My mom and I were on a road trip together to visit some family when things really started turning around with my new company. We talked about a lot of things that day. During a particularly long stretch of highway, she told me that she always knew that I would be wildly successful. That’s when I knew that I had made it. It happened when my mom started cheering for me again. She’s not as young as she used to be, so I am glad that I pulled it off while she was still around to see it. That’s one of the accomplishments I am most grateful for in life.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I cannot begin to overstate the importance of having a good mentor. I didn’t have a good one. I had the best. My mentor is a legend in the college planning world, and I am fortunate to call him a mentor and a friend. He changed my life.
It would be a disservice to not include the members of my family and a few friends that have been a tremendous source of inspiration and sanity along the way. If they are reading this, they all know who they are.
Surprisingly, I also look back at some of the people that I did not see eye to eye with professionally or may have even wronged me along the way. Though I might not have realized it at the time, these people have pushed me to move forward instead of moving backwards. I have to be thankful for that. There are so many others that have helped me along the way. I wish I could tell you about all of them.
It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?
Like I said before, my mother was my cheerleader all my life and probably a source of a lot of my own self-esteem. I had a great childhood, but we grew up in a middle-income household and money was tight with 6 kids. When I was a teenager, I was a magnet student attending a high school with a higher income demographic because I had obtained admission to a special academic program that was only offered at that school.
It was a challenge mingling with students that wore impeccable brand name clothes, were routinely gifted their own cars on their 16th birthdays, and took exotic trips to the Bahamas on spring break. I took the bus the entire time. On a few occasions I would hitch a ride with my brother, but he drove an old yellow Volvo station wagon, so not much of an upgrade there.
Despite being unable to relate to these students from a different socioeconomic group, I relied on my good grades and my wits to carry me through. Despite my humble origins and my status as a magnet student, I managed to become the president of my class junior year. That’s when I really started to think that I could accomplish things when I really set my mind to it. So here I am today, one of the most successful college planners in the country, and I don’t even have a college degree. The irony never escapes me.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)
Get really good at facing rejection. You will be rejected thousands of times before you see any semblance of success. What you do not see behind every success story were the thousands of doors slammed in their collective faces. I think what separates failure from success isn’t necessarily talent. It’s your own threshold for rejection and maybe a little luck thrown in. I learned the more I got rejected, the luckier I would get.
Your strongest allies and staunchest supporters may turn against you. When you find your vision and your purpose, not everyone is going to understand. Be sure to ask yourself how bad you want what you are reaching for. Prepare to be ridiculed. Prepare to be called into question. When this happens, you need to surround yourself with other big thinkers. Find allies that share your vision.
Study your field closely and look for the trends where no one else is paying attention. If you are hungry enough, you will find it. It takes a lot of guts to break into an established field and start asking tough questions. Offering new answers to those tough questions takes even more guts.
This may happen once or twice in your lifetime. We all have those pivotal moments when we ask ourselves “is this it or is this all I’ll ever do?” You may even be ready to throw in the towel and walk away. You need to listen to yourself when the question is asked. You need to tell yourself that you will never settle. This is your Peter Pan moment. It’s time to step off that window and fly.
Most importantly, share your success. I have met other people in my market trying to break into the college planning industry. The natural reaction is a defensive one. Don’t fall into that trap. You need to learn what they can teach you. Can they make you better? Is this someone that can work with you? I have actually partnered with several individual start-ups in my industry and in my market. I’ve learned that there is plenty of success to go around. I know that when you surround yourself with success, you just get more of it.
Eventually some maverick is going to disrupt my industry and knock me off the top position and all I have to say is “good for them.” That person is out there. When it happens, I will be thankful that they showed me something that will make us all better at what we do.
What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?
I actually have this quote framed in my office from Theodore Roosevelt.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
If people only knew that the families from the lowest income brackets could go to 60K-70K a year schools for next to nothing, we could change a lot of lives. I think there is a severe lack of education of how colleges really work, and that college is actually affordable to many low-income families. Just show up with decent grades and a decent test score, and so many doors would open. I think a lot of families and gifted students just assume they could never go to an “expensive” college. I take on a few pro-bono cases each year with families that can barely put food on the table, and you would be amazed at the things I have seen.
Compassionate Listening is a fabulous training that teaches people to listen for and appreciate the underlying values of someone’s message, rather than concentrating on formulating your next point.
As part of my series about “exciting developments in the travel industry over the next five years”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kelly Hayes-Raitt.
Kelly has been traveling full-time for the past decade as an international housesitter where she lives in strangers’ homes and cares for their pets while they go on vacation. She’s housesat throughout Europe, North America, SE Asia and Africa and has written How to Become a Housesitter: Insider Tips from the HouseSit Diva.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I didn’t wake up one morning and declare, “I’m going to be a housesitter!” My current traveling/housesitting lifestyle evolved. During a mid-life career change where I decided to write a book about my experiences working in the Middle East with refugees, I realized I could create a positive income stream by renting out my home and living elsewhere rent-free.
Initially, I applied for (and won) free residencies at writing colonies, but those are competitive and expensive to apply for. After I housesat for a few friends and relatives, I realized housesitting was more flexible and offered a wider range of opportunities.
I don’t get paid for housesitting. I live in other people’s homes and care for their pets, gardens and homes while they vacation. I don’t pay any expenses either, so it’s a quid pro quo. I enjoy living like a local in a neighborhood that’s not in a tourist area. I enjoy secure wifi, a clothes washer, a kitchen, usually good cable, free parking, privacy, (usually) a garden and sometimes a pool…and a furry friend or two!
My first international housesit was in east London during the Olympics! Every time I rode the Tube, I went past the Olympic Village. The city was alive, and I was there on-the-ground experiencing it like a local. I was hooked!
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Just one story? While housesitting in Berlin at the height of the Syrian refugee crisis, I volunteered at a registration center and interviewed newly arrived refugees. I attended the 70th commemorations of the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki while housesitting in Osaka. I snorkeled with mama and baby humpback whales while spoiling pets in Réunion (a French island east of Madagascar). I launched my housesitting book at an event while housesitting in Mexico, and raised money for a shelter helping Central American refugees.
I’ve made lifelong friends with other housesitters and with the homeowners whose homes and pets I’ve cared for.
I joke I sleep around — usually with pets. The truth is, I’ve created a whole new life for myself that is remarkably soul-fulfilling.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
At that glorious east London housesit during the Olympics, the cat brought in a late-night gift: An eviscerated mouse she lovingly left in the doorway to the bedroom. I nearly stepped on it in the middle of the night when I got up to use the bathroom! Lesson learned? Wear sandals — always!
What do you think makes your book stand out? Can you share a story?
I wrote How to Become a Housesitter because I realized too many people were glorifying the lifestyle — myself included! I love housesitting, and I love giving pet owners the opportunity to travel knowing their pets are loved and their homes are secure.
But, it’s not for everyone. I include a quiz “Is Housesitting Right for Me?” right in the beginning. After buying my book, an acquaintance insisted on buying me dinner.
“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” she said, “but I’m not meant for housesitting and you just saved me a bundle!”
I present housesitting honestly — the responsibility, the insecurity, the uncertainty, the just plain nuttiness that can sometimes be involved when dealing with strangers.
I also write about the unexpected joys and about the nuts-and-bolts: how to get started, how to evaluate housesitting assignments, how to break through the competition, how to get asked back.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?
Housesitting is work and a huge responsibility. In ten years, I’ve encountered all types of situations: Something goes wrong with the house, or the pets, or the travel plans…
Constantly putting myself in new situations, while exciting, takes a lot of energy. Even “new” gets old! I avoid “burn out” by keeping up the relationships I have with homeowners of my favorite housesits so I can be first in line when they travel again. Repeat assignments remove a lot of the unknown factors that can be stressful and the familiarity feels like I’m coming “home.”
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
It’s a cliché to thank your mother, but all the necessary traits I draw on to be a conscientious housesitter were instilled by my mom: a love of travel and adventure, the gift of flexibility, a sense of humor, orderliness, and gratitude. I never thought I’d thank my mom for insisting I make my bed every morning!
Let’s jump to the core of our discussion. Can you share with our readers about the innovations that you are bringing to the travel and hospitality industries?
Housesitting is a relatively new component to the travel industry. For years, friends or friends of friends may have stayed at pet owners’ homes while they were away — or popped in to walk the dog or feed the kitty.
One of the earliest web sites that posted pet owners’ pet sitting needs and profiles of housesitters willing to care for pets is Nomador.com, which has now expanded into the world’s only bilingual housesitting web site.
Now, there are 50 housesitting platforms where homeowners and housesitters can peruse each other’s profiles to see if there’s a match. Some of the platforms are country-specific, such as HouseSitMexico.com. Others are international, such HouseSitMatch.com. The largest (and most expensive and most competitive) is TrustedHousesitters.com.
As a new kid on the “sharing economy” block, housesitting is such a game-changer for travelers — and for pet owners who would otherwise be tied to their homes by their pets’ needs.
Which “pain point” are you trying to address by introducing this innovation?
Housesitting is a true win/win. Pet owners who otherwise might not travel can do so without expensive (or dangerous) pet boarding, and travelers can travel more authentically. As a digital nomad who can work from any place where there’s wifi, I love the amenities a home offers (as opposed to a hotel room), the variety of locations available to me, and the huge cost savings.
How do you envision that this might disrupt the status quo?
Well, I don’t get many invitations to stay at chain hotels!
Can you share 5 examples of how travel and hospitality companies will be adjusting over the next five years to the new ways that consumers like to travel?
International and domestic housesitting continues to grow, just as the type of travelers who are attracted to housesitting continues to grow. I believe that trend will continue. Here’s why:
1. More retirees are exploring living overseas in countries where their dollar stretches further. In fact, during the decade ending in 2017, the number of American retirees living abroad leapt by 40%, according to the U.S. Social Security Administration. Housesitting provides an on-the-ground opportunity to experience day-to-day living in a foreign country before making a major move. It’s a great solution for retirees.
2. Last year, 32 million American women traveled alone. Housesitting provides a safer experience for all travelers, but particularly for women. Individual homes are generally in neighborhoods away from the “touristy” areas that attract scammers and pickpockets and they have better security than typical hotel rooms — and they may come with a watchdog!
3. In the U.S., 4.8 million workers describe themselves as digital nomads. Housesitting provides them with a better travel/work experience: faster, more secure wifi; dedicated, private work space; and more control over their work environment than a hotel or hostel provides.
4. Increasingly, travelers are seeking “authentic” experiences. A recent Trip Advisor study reports that experiences such as cooking classes and culinary tours each increased by 57% among international tourists. Housesitting is just about the most genuine way to explore a new destination!
5. As I write this, much of the world is emerging from COVID-19 lockdowns. Since staying in someone’s home — that has been thoroughly cleaned — can be far less germy than staying in a hotel or hostel where there‘s more exposure to and turnover of customers and personnel, travelers who might not have considered housesitting in the past might see it as a safer option for travelling in the future.
You are a “travel insider”. How would you describe your “perfect vacation experience”?
My perfect vacation experience is the magical combination of great digs in a fabulous location that involves rolling out of bed and finding coffee, opportunities to engage with local people, a day (or more!) of scuba diving, visits to great art museums and a feeling that I’m contributing to the community I’m living in.
Can you share with our readers how have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
I don’t know that I’ve brought “goodness” to the world, but I have given pet owners peace of mind when they travel. I think travel is transformative. Any way I can encourage or inspire people to travel — either by reading my book or by trusting me to care for their pets — is a “win” from my perspective. And I’ve certainly scratched a lot of furry tummies!
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Compassionate Listening is a fabulous training that teaches people to listen for and appreciate the underlying values of someone’s message, rather than concentrating on formulating your next point.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
I share tips on how to get started in housesitting on www.HouseSitDiva.com. I also post fun interviews that I hope inspire travelers to try this option! My book How to Become a Housesitter: Insider Tips from the HouseSit Diva is also available on my site as an ebook.
The Future Of Beauty: “Microneedling to Firm Up Skin” With Michelle Mowry of Wellness Jar Medical Spa
Give out random complements. When you go out of your way to say something nice about another person, it can amplify your own self-confidence. And when you get a complement just say thanks. Don’t deflect, take that moment to just sparkle a little brighter. One time when I was pregnant, I was walking through the mall and a woman stopped me told me I looked beautiful. That day I was feeling particularly whale-like and it really changed my outlook. I always think about this when I see someone and take the time to share a genuine complement.
I had the chance of interviewing of Michelle Mowry .
Michelle Mowry is the nurse practitioner at Wellness Jar Medical Spa in North Palm Beach, Fla. She administers Botox and is a board-certified Advanced Registered Nurse Practitioner (ARNP) with more than 10 years of experience in aesthetics medicine. She received medical training from John Hopkins University and has a master’s degree. She is a member of the American Association of Nurse Practitioners. Michelle has previously been quoted in a story by The Daily Beast about Botox.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit more about you. Can you tell us a story about what brought you to this specific career path?
I guess I have always wanted to be in the medical field. I really enjoy helping people and this career gives me the ability to put them at ease when having medical procedures. It also allows me to shift how someone sees themselves — an amazing gift. I was truly fortunate that my first job actually sent me around the United States training with some of the best plastic surgeons and dermatologists in the country. It was through this experience that I quickly realized this was my passion and my future — I was on the right path.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I think roaming the United States for months learning from the best-of-the best was the most interesting experience in my career. While some of the unique techniques and styles helped shape my own style, another story may stand out more for your readers. When we were at Johns Hopkins University, we walked into the morgue and lined up on a table was a line of human heads. While this may sound like a scene from a horror movie, it was actually a unique learning opportunity. We were able to use faux fillers with dyes so that we could see the exact placement of fillers and see where it was supposed to go and what to avoid. This was an odd but super informative way to learn how to optimize filler placement.
Are you able to identify a “tipping point” in your career when you started to see success? Did you start doing anything different? Are there takeaways or lessons that others can learn from that?
With medicine we have to push the limits of our comfort zones. The magic comes from finding that place between confidence and overconfidence. With the right level of confidence, you are able to put patients at ease and you are able to constantly further your expertise on your own. Patients want providers who are assured in their capabilities but also know their limitations — someone who can nurture both confidence and humility. For me, mastering this balance is when I really started to see my patients become repeat patients and started to see more and more referrals.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person to whom you are grateful who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I am most grateful for my parents. My mom taught me compassion and empathy as well as having a good listening ear. I would say that is something I draw upon every single day. My father taught me that there is nothing I couldn’t accomplish through hard work — I would not have been able to pursue a medical career without that foundation. He also had no filter and some of that rubbed off on me. I think a lot of my patients feel immediately at ease with me because I don’t put on any pretense, they immediately feel like they can tell me anything — any many do!
Ok super. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. The beauty industry today has access to technology that was inconceivable only a short time ago. Can you tell us about the “cutting edge” (pardon the pun) technologies that you are working with or introducing? How do you think that will help people?
One of my favorite devices is the Vivace RF Microneedling. It actually plays to a growing trend we see with combination treatments which create a synergistic benefit. Vivace combines three different treatments in one: microneedling, RadioFrequency, and LED light therapy. The technology lets you customize how you use each modality across different areas and different people. And I love it because it is a no downtime solution with amazing results. People often get multiple sessions and when they walk in my office for the second treatment, they typically have huge smiles and tell me stories of people commenting on their skin. I love seeing that kind of joy and confidence.
As for the technology — the robotic controlled microneedling triggers a natural wound healing response that builds collagen and elastin. The radio frequency helps tighten skin and LED light calms inflammation and speeds up anti-acne and brightening effects. The ability to “stack” these modalities creates benefits like leveraging the micro-channels to deliver radio frequency and LED light to lower layers of the skin for greater rejuvenation. It also lets me adjust depth and heat across specific areas of the skin, adjust with multiple passes over the skin and adjust per patient. All the while protecting your top layer of skin, in turn, giving little to no downtime and amazing result. Adding on something like PRP which leverages your body’s own growth factors can seriously amplify results.
Keeping “Black Mirror” and the “Law of Unintended Consequences” in mind, can you see any potential drawbacks about this technology that people should think more deeply about?
Not sure I can give you a Black Mirror level draw back but something to consider is that when you talk about technology advances people’s minds go to things like robot level automation. Just think about the artistic sense and human decision making that goes into these treatments. The anatomy of your face and neck in particular are so intricate and important to self-awareness and recognition that having a robot interpretation of that feels perilous to me. A more positive scenario to also consider is that over time, you will see not only improvements in results and reductions in things like downtime, you will also see lower costs and fewer taboos — that translates to more people being able to take advantage. Who knows, maybe that has bigger implications like shifting how we think about things like make-up; if we can all fix versus cover up imperfections or maybe it redefines the “new 40” to be an age like 60. If we can look and feel young longer just imagine the social and cultural shifts that could occur.
Can you share 3 things that most excite you about the “beauty-tech” industry?
(1) Combination treatments. As said above there are more and more opportunities to combine different treatments to achieve better results. I love this not only because it truly does amplify results, but it also allows me to be more creative with how I customize to each patient.
(2) Natural results. I am fortunate that this is something I was taught early in my career, but what is exciting to me is that patients are embracing this more which means treatment evolutions will continue to evolve with this in mind. People want to look like their best selves not an over exaggeration of themselves.
(3) Non-Invasive. The limits of what can be achieved with non-invasive treatments are being shattered every day — what used to only be possible with surgery or hiding inside for several weeks can now be done with little or no downtime. I also love that this helps us to better achieve natural results in that with non-invasive you are gradually getting to the end result versus a one-time pull, cut and snip.
Can you share 3 things that most concern you about the industry? If you had the ability to implement 3 ways to reform or improve the industry, what would you suggest?
(1) While we see advances in technology that help reduce safety risk, we should never lose sight of the difference the right provider can make. Most specifically I am thinking about the right medical training, qualifications and experience. Trends such as combination treatments are great examples of why this is so important — providers must be able to look at a 360 inside and outside view of the patient to develop safe treatment options that are based on an understanding of how everything interacts. Some states have minimal requirements for this which can create significant risk to patients.
(2) Home devices have come a long way too but can present more risk than consumers understand. There is a value risk in that they often get compared to medical-grade solutions and patients are disappointed in limited results. What concerns me more is when there are safety risks. I have seen patients come in with burns or other complications from misuse of these devices. I don’t know the answer in how to regulate that but at a minimum, consumers should always do their research and talk to experts before investing in or using specific home devices.
(3) The idea of Botox Parties or offsite procedures is something that should be more regulated. This practice is diluting the professionalism of the field. Additionally, many of the ‘bad Botox’ or other “botched” stories come from these types of practices. You don’t know if the product is expired or over-diluted or if a device is properly maintained. Travelling providers also may lack the proper credentials or may be unavailable to the patient if problems do occur. There is no accountability in these kinds of situations which is bad for the patient and bad for the industry.
You are an expert about beauty. Can you share 5 ideas that anyone can use “to feel beautiful”? (Please share a story or example for each.)
(1) Smile. We are all naturally drawn to people who smile and there is actually science behind the saying that smiles are contagious — it is a brain-triggered response. When you smile your muscles also lift the face, making you appear younger. There are even health benefits related to the brain’s reaction to the act of smiling. So, smile — happiness feels and looks fantastic!
(2) Don’t act your age. Your age doesn’t define you or your capacity for beauty — you should live the age you feel. To give you an example, we have a wonderful CoolSculpting patient in her 70s. She recently sent us some amazing photos of her in a bikini clearly having the time of her life. It was beautiful.
(3) Give out random complements. When you go out of your way to say something nice about another person, it can amplify your own self-confidence. And when you get a complement just say thanks. Don’t deflect, take that moment to just sparkle a little brighter. One time when I was pregnant, I was walking through the mall and a woman stopped me told me I looked beautiful. That day I was feeling particularly whale-like and it really changed my outlook. I always think about this when I see someone and take the time to share a genuine complement.
(4) Focus on what you like about your features. We spend so much time focusing on the flaws that it can erode our confidence. When I meet with patients and ask them about what bothers them, I also talk about what is great about their features — and inevitably it not only lights them up, it triggers a more in-depth discussion versus someone who just says I hate this, fix it. However, I also advise them to not let others define this for you. Always focus on makes you feel more confident not on what someone else may think or say.
(5) Confidence. It’s getting tougher and tougher as many seek approval via social media, but self-confidence is about how you feel about yourself regardless of what someone else thinks. I heard a celebrity who I would never describe as lacking confidence talk about what she does on ‘bad days’ — she said when it happens she would ask herself, what are you going to do about it? I love that she owned it. And for me, the easiest way to feel more confident is to act like you are confident. This could be simple gestures like standing taller — posture has a powerful influence on your attitude and how others perceive you. Similarly, you can act positive — talk to people in a positive and energetic way and you will start to notice that reflected back. Your confidence does not need to be about your beauty, it is overall confidence in who you are which helps you feel beautiful.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would want to inspire people to be more kind to each other. Especially today where we are faced with so much negativity as well as challenges to adapt to the pandemic. It takes all of us to create a better world — one act at a time. A great example of this was the Some Good News channel with John Krasinski. The viral response was evidence that we all crave this more. Small acts of kindness are just as important. There is actually a health benefit too — being kind can boost your serotonin and also releases endorphins. Kindness may just be the secret sauce to a healthy, happy life.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“One of the best feelings in the world is knowing someone is happy because of you.” This resonates with me because it articulates a lot of why I got into medicine and specialized in aesthetics. I am fortunate to experience this feeling almost daily. This is a gift.
Drs. Lisa and Richard Orbé-Austin: How To Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome
I think with our book we hope to inspire a movement in which amazing people, who have long denied this amazingness, can feel free and have the tools to “own your greatness.” So many truly fantastic and inspirational people struggle with Impostor Syndrome and hide in the shadows of their lives fearing being found out. We are so interested in helping these phenomenal people to claim their strengths, accomplishments, abilities, skills and complexity and encouraging them to live out loud and in the beauty of the possibilities of their lives and their dreams.
As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Drs. Lisa and Richard Orbé-Austin.
Drs. Lisa and Richard Orbé-Austin are licensed psychologists and executive coaches with a focus on career advancement, leadership development and job transitions. They are the founding partners of Dynamic Transitions Psychological Consulting, an executive coaching and organizational development consultancy. Their individual and group coaching work focuses on high potential managers and executives. Drs. Orbé-Austin’s consultancy works with Fortune 1000 companies, non-profits, and educational institutions in supporting their employees, senior leadership teams and boards to address bias, diversity, equity, & inclusion concerns, leadership development, effective communication, team cohesion, and managing conflict management. Their practice also consults to universities on the reorganization & evaluation of their career centers to enhance their efficacy and metrics, in order to improve service delivery, data analysis, and student career outcomes.
Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin earned her doctorate in Counseling Psychology from Columbia University, and Dr. Richard Orbé-Austin earned his doctorate in Counseling Psychology from Fordham University’s Graduate School of Education. Their views about career advancement, job transitions, leadership, and diversity & inclusion are regularly sought by the media and they have appeared in outlets such as The New York Times, NBC News, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Refinery29, Fast Company, Business Insider, and Insight Into Diversity. Dr. Lisa Orbé-Austin has also been honored as a Top Voice on LinkedIn in the area of Job Search and Careers. Drs. Orbé-Austin have been invited and keynote speakers at various national and international conferences. They recently gave a TEDx talk entitled “The Impostor Syndrome Paradox.”
Their book, Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life (Ulysses Press, 2020) was released in April 2020.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
People are often confused about why we, as psychologists, would be focused on the areas of career development and organizational culture & change. However, we are both counseling psychologists and what many don’t know about the field of counseling psychology is that it birthed the early pioneers in the field of career development. In the 1950s, early counseling psychologists innovated and created career testing and developed the first theories around career development as many of them were working in VA Hospitals to help veterans returning from WWII with vocational rehabilitation.
As counseling psychologists, we received significant training and supervision in career development, theory and practice especially during our doctoral programs and post-doctoral work. So, it’s actually not that strange for counseling psychologists to be steeped in knowledge about careers and organizational dynamics.
We actually met while working in a college career center during our graduate school training, and initially I (Lisa) was not that interested in career development because I felt very uninterested in a “test and tell ’em” approach to career fit. I felt that this approach did not provide room for actually engaging the client holistically and connecting their career choices with their identity and identity has always been my passion. In meeting Richard, I learned to see the “the personal as professional and the professional personal.” As I fell in love with him in seeing his whole self, he showed me how he thought of career as so inextricably linked to identity development. His genuine passion for the field of career really ignited a vision for me of the power of combining career development and psychology theories to apply it to our career & executive coaching work. When we launched our practice over 13 years ago, career & executive coaching were key components of our service offerings although not the sole focus of our practice. The Great Recession hit a year after we opened our practice and the therapy clients dried up and we were only getting new referrals for our career coaching practice and our main focus on career was born. It has proven to be a central force in our practice and that we sometimes categorize what we do as career therapy.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘takeaways’ you learned from that?
(Lisa)
I will tell you two of the most central stories to my own career development and pathing. Since the age of 6, I had wanted to be a pediatrician and entered college as a biology pre-med major. College science and math destroyed me, and I was on academic probation with a 1.8 GPA. I remember sitting in the dean’s office and him kindly telling me that I needed to figure something out or I would be dismissed from the college. I remember quickly cycling through my first-year experience and scrambling to find something that I was good at to switch my major and it was English. When I went home during Spring Break to tell my parents, my father was furious. He told me “why would you do that? You already speak English.” My parents didn’t go to college and were incredibly fearful about my future. It was a very difficult time. My father insisted that I get a 3.7 GPA next semester, or he would pull me out of school to go somewhere locally. I got a 3.9 next semester and really thrived in my English classes. Until my senior year in a prose writing capstone course with a visiting professor, I was writing a novella as an assignment for the class and she HATED it. Every class when it was my turn for review, the feedback was excruciating — she had the entire class in a chorus of contempt for my work. It really was so upsetting it made me reconsider my plans for graduate study in writing and turned my career world upside down once again. There I was again, after graduation, reviewing my college experience to try to figure out my next steps. I had been a Resident Advisor in the dorms and loved the experience helping freshmen with that difficult adjustment to independence and college life and thought maybe counseling might be an option. My father put me in touch with a psychologist at his EAP for an informational interview and she happened to be a counseling psychologist, who had been an English major. So that encouraging and informative conversation got me to apply to a master’s program in counseling psychology. Interestingly enough, when I was moving into my apartment to start my master’s program, I stopped into a bookstore to see if that professor had written anything recently and her newest book was a story almost identical to that novella that she criticized so voraciously. I remember my sister was with me and she was like “what are going to do about it?” and I felt a sense of peace and that I was very happy about the pathway that my life was taking.
From those experiences, I learned about how important taking inventory of your interests, skills, values and motivators is when you are in a career crisis. I did it in a very rudimentary way, but now, in looking back, I would have told myself to see a career counselor and get some career testing. I would have likely felt a little more assured about my decisions and confident moving forward than I did feel.
I think additionally I learned that sometimes you don’t get the things you want for a great reason that can sometimes be hard to see in the moment.
(Richard)
One of my last experiences working for an institution was as a Chief Diversity Officer for an educational institution. I didn’t apply for the role. I actually was working in another department in the college, but I was asked to take on the position by the college’s president. Although I was trained in issues related to diversity, equity, and inclusion, it was my first opportunity to make transformative change at an executive level. I quickly realized that my role was about more than content expertise. It was about navigating some challenging political waters, especially as I tried to negotiate making changes in recruitment and hiring, in collaboration with colleagues over whom I had no legitimate authority or oversight. Although I was CDO, the faculty and other administrators did not report to me. My instinct and commitment to build solid working relationships and giving myself time to do so, made me realize the importance and mechanics of influence without authority.
In a few short months, I was able to overhaul key processes, meet with a countless number of college stakeholders, form a Diversity Council, and make impact in ways I didn’t imagine would be possible at first. This experience has informed my executive coaching and consulting work, because we can oftentimes forget the human element when trying to make change, and it is something that I always emphasize with my individual and organizational clients. So being able to always give time to relationship building was my key takeaway. I was able to get things done because of the relationships that I had built, not because I had legitimate authority to do so. The other part of the experience, which I appreciated was that at the time, I was not actively looking to change roles. But I was open to the opportunity, and as a result, was able to take on a role which was very impactful, but not necessarily in my plans for my career path. So, another takeaway is to be open to opportunities, and give yourself the chance to explore roles which may be a stretch and outside your comfort zone, but well worth the experience.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Our company stands out because we have a very holistic and tailored approach to our work, and we are very agile & versatile. On the career and executive coaching side, our backgrounds as psychologists, in addition to our extensive knowledge of various industries, allow us to provide both content expertise and to utilize psychological principles in discussing and effecting behavior change & leadership development with clients. We are able to diagnose the barriers, whether internal or external, that may be preventing progress and change from being made, and to intervene based on the specific needs of the client.
As it pertains to our consulting practice, we believe strongly in tailoring our approach and plan to the unique needs of the organization. We take time to really understand the consulting needs, and often help the client to articulate the specific outcomes they seek. We also have subject matter expertise in a variety of areas, which make us very agile in meeting the concerns of clients.
A quick story: We were working to provide an impostor syndrome training to an organizational client at the beginning of this year. However, once the COVID-19 pandemic occurred, we realized that the organization and its team members could also benefit from some stress reduction and leadership during crisis training. Rather than having to seek another consultant for this emerging challenge, this type of work was in our portfolio of training offerings, and we were able to quickly develop a training specifically designed to address the stressors of that particular workplace.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
There are so many mentors, friends and family that have helped get to where we are today. But we probably have to thank our parents, Ana, Francisco, Marguerite and Guy, the most. They are amazing people — immigrants, whose first language was not English, who didn’t go to college and yet were able to provide us with an incredible sense of security, fostered our love for learning and showed us the value of hard work.
(Richard) I also want to thank one of my first mentors Dr. Robert Fullilove, who was the first Black male psychologist I ever had the opportunity to meet, when I served as his intern during my college years, who inspired me to pursue my doctorate and to have a true love of giving back to the Black community as an activist-scholar.
(Lisa) I want to thank Dr. Vanessa Bing, a Black psychologist, who inspired me to think big about my practice and what lay ahead for me when I was trapped in a very difficult work experience. She helped me to believe in my dreams and always encouraged me to move forward even when I didn’t see models for what I wanted to do.
Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?
Impostor Syndrome is a phenomenon in which a person, typically a high achieving one, has difficulty internalizing her accomplishments, is constantly afraid of being exposed as a fraud, and overworks to compensate for this concern. They can also self-sabotage as well, as a result of the performance anxiety. People with impostor syndrome believe that they are successful due to luck, a mistake, a relationship or sometimes even because of the impostor syndrome itself.
What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?
Impostor Syndrome prevents people from advancing their career and increasing their leadership. Since they attribute any success to luck, mistake or someone liking them, they often feel that they should not attempt to find new roles or ask for more opportunities/promotions, because if they do, they fear that they won’t get it because they aren’t as capable as others or if they do get it, they fear that they will be exposed as a fraud or as incompetent. Therefore, it can limit their career mobility and opportunities to take on leadership roles or to seek better-fit options.
How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?
Often individuals with Impostor Syndrome can be more distant and withholding with others, because they are concerned that if people learn who they really are, they might be exposed as a fraud. They also may be used to taking on the roles (e.g., the expert, the go-to, the helper), which make it difficult for them to ask for assistance or to feel like they can make a mistake. As a leader, people with impostor syndrome can tend to micromanage and overwork their team members, if their team members falter, they see it as a reflection of their own incompetence as a manager. In addition, they may also be reluctant to delegate tasks. People with impostor syndrome also may have difficulty making decisions because they struggle with perfectionism, which can leave others feeling confused about priorities and how to move forward with their work.
We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?
(Lisa)
Soon after getting my PhD, I had fallen into a job that had very little to do with being a psychologist. I had become professionally lost and wasn’t clear what I wanted for my future career. I had a boss who was all the forms of toxic that you can imagine. I had learned that I was being underpaid significantly compared to my counterpart. He was publicly humiliating me in meetings as well as a variety of other difficult things that were going on. I put up with it for months because my Impostor Syndrome (i.e., my Impostor Syndrome Automatic Negative Thoughts) kept telling me “you can’t do any better than this,” “who’s going to hire you with your current skill set,” and “every boss is likely to be this bad.” I felt paralyzed by these thoughts. Then, one day in a meeting of the senior staff (all women), there was music playing in the background. One of the women asked, “What’s that music that’s playing?” And he said, “It’s music to soothe the savage breast.” In that one moment, the light went on and I realized how I was letting my Impostor Syndrome put me in these types of situations because I felt that I didn’t deserve better.
(Rich)
I never realized that I had impostor syndrome until writing this book. I always felt very confident and was identified very early on in my educational journey as the “smart one.” However, this label made me want to protect this status, and made me feel that I needed to be perfect. If I made a mistake, it might mean that I was not as intelligent as people believed. It also made me hesitant to take risks, for fear of being exposed as a fraud or not as bright as others had labeled me.
Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?
(Lisa)
After those vile words, I went straight back to my office, called Richard and told him that I was quitting. I cleared my office that weekend and resign on the spot that Monday — no two weeks’ notice, no nothing. He threatened me and told me that I would never work in education again. It was frightening. But in 2 weeks, I had a part-time job in education making more working 3 days a week than I did at that full-time job.
I had to fight very hard back then to reframe my thoughts, trust my community (i.e., friends and family) to help me be more strategic and focus on my own dreams, and to not engage in Impostor Syndrome behaviors that diminished me. It still comes up today especially in high visibility or high stakes situations, but when it comes up the tools that I have developed are much more automatic and accessible now and require less energy from me.
(Rich)
Yes, when I got to college, I was able to see that making mistakes was part of healthy development. It is about learning from those mistakes. One of my most challenging, but enriching, experiences was taking an Organic Chemistry class. It was one of the hardest classes I ever took in college. I put in maximum effort and felt that I learned a great deal. However, at the conclusion of the course, I did much more poorly than I would have imagined and needed to retake the class. Despite this result, I really loved the experience of learning, and subsequently went on to get an A the second time around. I adopted a growth mindset, which enabled me to recognize the power of taking risks and learning from mistakes. This enabled me to take on roles and have experiences which benefited my journey as a leader.
In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.
Own and acknowledge that you are suffering from impostor syndrome and figure out where it came from.
Many people with impostor syndrome suffer in silence because they are embarrassed or ashamed. When I (Lisa) was struggling with it in various parts of my life, I didn’t share it. It was both the combination of fear of exposure and being dismissed that plagued me. It’s also important to figure out how it got started, which usually is connected to your early childhood experiences because it helps clarify the “why” and the “what” around your current triggers for your Impostor Syndrome. For example, if you had a parent that was hard to please and focused on your accomplishments as the sole area of connection, this might connect to why you chose withholding bosses and feel very driven by trying to acquire their positive feedback.
Identify your strengths and accomplishments and speak them to yourself and others.
In our work, we have noticed that people with Impostor Syndrome struggle to be able to name or even consider their unique skills as real, viable, worthwhile strengths. They often dismiss skills, like interpersonal ones, as not really an actual skill. We want people to recognize that skills and accomplishments come in all forms and that a denial and minimization of them serves only your Impostor Syndrome.
Counter the Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and let this change your narrative.
ANTs are those creepy, insidious thoughts that occur when we are triggered by our Impostor Syndrome. We tend to believe our thoughts, especially when they are negative. For example, you make a small mistake in a big presentation and the thought you have is “That was horrific. Everyone noticed. It blew up the presentation.”
We love this quote by Amit Ray “You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts.” It reminds you that you need to question your thoughts and not take them at face value. Ask yourself “where’s the data” “are there other points of view,” “what’s the value of holding this particular thought” and “how is this thought serving me?” Once you can recognize it as an ANT, then you want to counter it and develop a thicker, more accurate narrative. From the example, the thickened, countered response to the ANT might be “I made a mistake. It was minor. I got a lot of great feedback on the presentation. I will correct the issue for the next time.”
Build a Dream Team of particular people with skills sets that can help.
Struggling with this alone only feeds the impostor syndrome beast. You need to have a solid team around. We always talk about having members of your team that fill the following roles: Mentor, Cheerleader, Grounder, Big-Picture Person, Action Planner, and Impostor Syndrome Expert.
These people can be fantastic sounding boards, have significant experience and informed viewpoints, serve to help you make strategic choices about how you deal with triggering situations, and help you take the long view.
Prioritize your self-care.
When you have impostor syndrome, usually taking care of yourself comes last because the focus is usually on others and obtaining their positive feedback. As a result, our self-care suffers, we struggle with burnout, and have little energy to really do the central things to fight our impostor syndrome. So, hard-book your self-care, find self-care activities that are rejuvenating (and not numbing) and choose activities that holistically care for the physical, mental and reflective aspects of yourself.
If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I think with our book we hope to inspire a movement in which amazing people, who have long denied this amazingness, can feel free and have the tools to “own your greatness.” So many truly fantastic and inspirational people struggle with Impostor Syndrome and hide in the shadows of their lives fearing being found out. We are so interested in helping these phenomenal people to claim their strengths, accomplishments, abilities, skills and complexity and encouraging them to live out loud and in the beauty of the possibilities of their lives and their dreams.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them!
Former First Lady Michelle Obama. We have loved Mrs. Obama’s candid remarks about experiencing impostor syndrome and have often shared them on our platforms. We think she has done so much for normalizing the experience of impostor syndrome for women, and especially for BIPOC women. We would love to speak to her about her process of dealing with it, what particularly triggers it for her and what tools she uses to neutralize its impact on her career. It would be thrilling to discuss our book with her and have a conversation with her about impostor syndrome and what we can all do about it individually, but also collectively in really addressing work cultures and the environments that reinforce and promote it.
…I would create a community and environment that would get individuals and families off the streets. I envision a housing complex I would not mind living in myself. This complex would meet individuals and families where they are financially, meaning they would pay for the home/apartment based on what they can afford.
As a part of our series about “dreamers who ignored the naysayers and did what others said was impossible”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Arlana Brooks.
Arlana Brooks is a multifaceted woman — a devoted mother with a career in civil engineering and a lifelong love for baking. Inspired by her own mother, Arlana learned early the culinary techniques that would later serve her own company. She founded Arlana’s Gourmet Cookies in 1993 when a simple gift of cookies led to substantial orders for individuals and future events. Arlana’s elegant style is demonstrated in her high-end packaging that is made with beautiful accents and personalized accessories.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to ‘get to know you’ a bit better. Can you tell us your ‘backstory’?
I am a Civil Engineer and have been working in construction for 27 years. I’m a single mommy of a smart, chatty, witty, creative five year old girl. The concept of Arlana’s Gourmet Cookies came about during my last year of college in 1993 when I started baking as a hobby. I have always had a passion for baking which came from my mom. Over time, that hobby developed into a business. Today, I still work full time, but now I know my niche and direction.
Are you working on any new or exciting projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I am currently finishing the Community Impact page on my website, which will allow customers to donate to local organizations close to my heart such as single mothers, STEM, and breast cancer awareness. Each charity we partner with receives 25% of sales in their designated month and the customer will receive 10% off their next purchase of Arlana’s Gourmet Cookies. It’s a win-win!
In your opinion, what do you think makes your company or organization stand out from the crowd?
That’s easy: the ornate packaging, delicious cookies, authentic style and excellent customer service!
Ok, thank you for that. I’d like to jump to the main focus of this interview. Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us? What was your idea? What was the reaction of the naysayers? And how did you overcome that?
Time and time again I heard, “Oh, you’re still doing the cookie thing. Are you making any money?” The continuous doubt I received from others was astounding: “You’ve been doing the cookie thing for a long time; you should be in stores by now.”
These comments were hard to ignore.
In both instances, I was silent and paused before I responded. Internally I was enraged, thinking that they had no idea what they were talking about, no idea what I’ve done, they don’t understand the life of a business owner and they don’t get the many steps it takes.
My response for both was simple: “Yes, I’m getting there.”
I overcame their doubt by turning their negative comments into positive thoughts. It became fuel that kept me going. I knew the progress I was making and the hurdles I was overcoming. I didn’t need their approval.
That is when I learned that not everyone is worthy enough to hear the progress of my business. I can keep my successes to myself and surround myself with likeminded friends, building my own support group. We encourage, support, motivate, brainstorm and understand — it’s a breath of fresh air!
In the end, how were all the naysayers proven wrong? 🙂
I attended events where my cookies were displayed and saw photos of people I had met along the way, some of them naysayers filled with judgement and doubt, receiving a box of cookies with a big grin. That’s when I knew I had done something right.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
During my recent phase of revamping the cookie business, a college friend offered to invest. It took me years to take her up on the offer. When I did revisit the offer, she said “I was just waiting on you.” It was then I knew what I had to do to be successful and grow. I am so grateful for her patience and her belief in me. Accepting her offer meant that I was aware of where I wanted to be and how to get there.
It must not have been easy to ignore all the naysayers. Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share the story with us?
Being a black, petite, female engineer working in construction has built my resiliency. My cookie business thrives on the confidence I established in myself from working in construction, a male-dominated industry. I had to prove myself over and over again, which for me was just doing my job.
The proof always came from them. I could see a light go on within them each time they were forced to realize that I knew what I was doing and had a deep understanding of the profession. Proving myself to naysayers became second nature.
Based on your experience, can you share 5 strategies that people can use to harness the sense of tenacity and do what naysayers think is impossible? (Please share a story or an example for each)
Follow Your Passion: Your passion is something you enjoy. It’s something you’re good at. Perhaps you’ve noticed several people complimenting you on the same thing — dive into that. Follow your passion and watch it blossom. Know that hobbies can be passions too.
Take One Task At a Time: Make a list and tackle one thing at time. You can only master multitasking once you’ve figured out how to check singular things off your list first.
Stay On Your Course: Only you know your true course because you feel it from within. Stay true to it.
Network: Get involved with relevant organizations and attend trade shows. Vocalize what you do and associate with likeminded people. When you’re asked what do you do, be sure to include your passion (business or hobby).
Set Weekly Goals: This will provide you with weekly direction. If you feel you didn’t completed your weekly goal, that doesn’t mean progress wasn’t been made. Just add it to the following week’s goals and in no time you’ll see your goals being met. Keep it realistic and understand you’re only human: as long as are are doing something to meet the goal, progress is being made. ?
What is your favorite quote or personal philosophy that relates to the concept of resilience?
“Character is power.” — Booker T. Washington
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I would create a community and environment that would get individuals and families off the streets. I envision a housing complex I would not mind living in myself. This complex would meet individuals and families where they are financially, meaning they would pay for the home/apartment based on what they can afford.
The surrounding community would offer the components of finding jobs, skill training, education, healthcare, childcare, financial planning and any other needs. The idea is to build up the confidence they may have lost by letting them know that they are seen and heard, and there is a team working as fast and as hard as they can to provide help if they want it.
