An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Do you see yourself repeating patterns of behaviour? A period of self-reflection can help to spot the signs so that you can take steps not to repeat historic traits. As a child, Peter was often told by his parents to be strong and not to show emotion. He carried that mantra with him into adulthood and it often meant that he came across to prospective partners as cold and uncaring. It is important to reflect on our values and behaviours and question whether what we were told as children is still serving us well today. If it isn’t then it is time to rewrite the script.
As a part of my series about the “5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Chris Colcomb.
Chris runs a successful private mental health practice called Talking Works. He uses psychotherapy, counseling and coaching to help move adults out of crisis and into a better place. Chris also works with teenagers in schools and gives them some great life skills.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
My story is somewhat unconventional. For many years I had a career in the nightclub and hospitality industry. I started to pick up some unhealthy habits that were not serving me well. I wouldn’t say I had a mid-life crisis, but I recognized it was time to revisit how I was spending my time. I decided to invest in my self-development and discovered the benefits of therapy around that time. I started to learn about NLP and then psychotherapy. I now offer adults psychotherapy and counseling and visit schools two days a week to offer teenagers life skills. It brings a huge sense of fulfillment, and I now enjoy every single hour of every single day.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
Some of my most interesting moments were during my visit to California to study NLP. It was a chance to connect with people and the environment. I studied in the hills above Santa Cruz, on the University of California campus. I got to learn from some of the founders of NLP, but I also enjoyed the giant redwood trees, the wildlife, and some extra ordinary people from around the world. I think this was how my career in the helping profession was born. It re-enlivened something in me that had lain dormant for many years.
Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?
My usual life program is one of never feeling good enough. I remember one day, after about 50 hours of experience, this typical program was strangely missing and I felt self-assured. I was telling my own therapist how excited I was about my work, and about how I felt I had really got into my stride. I was recounting how I thought I had truly got to the top of the mountain. She gave me a funny look, one of a little confusion, which I didn’t understand. I remember that just a few days later, I started having real issues with one of my clients who was suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. I actually felt that the client’s case was beyond my capability. I remember speaking with my therapist about how silly I felt and how arrogant I must have sounded. Now, whilst I take confidence in my experience, I look up at the mountain still to climb. There is always more to learn.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
What I guess I didn’t realize is just how much a clinical supervisor also looks after the interests of the therapist. I am so grateful to my clinical supervisor, Anita. She has helped me assist some challenging clients and has offered me help and inspiration with their cases. She has helped expose my own processes in the therapy room, always in a helpful way but often exposing uncomfortable issues. I couldn’t have done it without her — she is amazing.
What advice would you suggest to your colleagues in your industry to thrive and avoid burnout?
As psychotherapists, we would often suggest to clients that they employ a high degree of self-care. We should do the same. Don’t schedule lots of clients one after the next. Take breaks in-between sessions. Make sure you take time out for yourself. Schedule time in your day for exercise and to switch off from technology and social media. Reach out to friends, connect with family, and enjoy a good conversation or have a laugh.
What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?
Place mental health at the forefront of your organizations agenda. Ensure wellbeing conversations become commonplace. Make sure your staff are not only OK, but really OK. Ensure staff take the breaks they are entitled to and make sure they take holidays. Don’t overload your team with work. Happy staff are more productive staff.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Mental health is often looked at in binary terms; those who are healthy and those who have mental illness. The truth, however, is that mental wellness is a huge spectrum. Even those who are “mentally healthy” can still improve their mental wellness. From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to improve or optimize our mental wellness.
Can you please share a story or example for each.
- For every negative thought we have, or view we express, there is a more positive way of reframing them. Learn to look for the positive in every situation. A father was struggling to put his children to bed at night. Each evening turned into a nightmare scenario. The father became increasingly frustrated with the children and started to shout at them. He dreaded each evening. After talking things over with me, he was able to reframe his thinking so that he saw bedtime as a time when he could nurture his children and show them affection. Instead of seeing their bedtime routine as a struggle, he started to think about it as a special time when they could spend time together. This helped him approach bedtime with a much calmer attitude, which helped the children relish the opportunity to go to bed rather than arguing to stay up.
- Do you see yourself repeating patterns of behaviour? A period of self-reflection can help to spot the signs so that you can take steps not to repeat historic traits. As a child, Peter was often told by his parents to be strong and not to show emotion. He carried that mantra with him into adulthood and it often meant that he came across to prospective partners as cold and uncaring. It is important to reflect on our values and behaviours and question whether what we were told as children is still serving us well today. If it isn’t then it is time to rewrite the script.
- If we tune into what our body is telling us, we can spot ways to counter feelings of high alert or anxiety. We must learn to listen to our gut and our heart as well as our head. Sometimes when we feel anxious, we get pains in our chest, stomach, or experience a general feeling of unease. The gut can be a reliable indicator of how we are feeling mentally. The gut alone is powerful, but when we add gut feeling to our logical and rational mind, we get the best answers.
Often, we worry about things that are beyond our control. This has become particularly prevalent during the pandemic and during world events such as the Ukrainian crisis. This is the first thing to address. If we cannot control the outcome, there is no point worrying about it. Thinking about what might happen is not helpful. We need to concentrate on what is in our gift to control and focus on the positive. - Making sure we have a fit and healthy body is a huge part of our mental wellbeing. Taking exercise and eating well will contribute to our clarity of thinking and the way we feel. I love to walk. I like nothing better than going out for a 10-mile walk in nature around my local area. Sometimes I take my camera, and other times I write about the walk and share it with others. However, I am as fallible as the next person and if I get busy at work, exercise is often the first thing that drops to the bottom of my list of priorities. I then start to feel more stressed and lethargic. I know that if I plan exercise into my day, I am more alert, fitter, happier and able to give more to my clients.
- Talking to a friend, a colleague, a family member or a professional, is the best way of addressing our feelings and concerns. Talk to someone who will listen without judgment. My professional life is all about extolling the virtues of talking and it is something I believe passionately. Talking to my partner, friends, and mentors is vitally important to my mental wellness. Whilst I would encourage anyone who is suffering to seek professional help, I never underestimate the power of talking to a friend. We all need to share what is going on in our heads. Bottling things up only leads to more unhappiness.
How about teens and pre teens. Are there any specific new ideas you would suggest for teens and pre teens to optimize their mental wellness?
I work with teenagers a lot. One common theme is that relationships with parents could be better. Parents and kids would do well to put down their phones and pre-occupations and concentrate on their relationship. Foster a relationship of honesty, love and support. From that place, mental health concerns can be minimised.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story?
I found the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain really useful and validating. Susan explains the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. It helped me understand my own introversion and really validated me as a person. She speaks of the power of listening, something which I use every day in my work.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would encourage connection. Minimize screen use. Use social media with common sense. Allocate time to enjoy the company of fellow human beings, in person. Get closer to nature. Slow down. Consider this question : “what is the smallest thing you can do, to make the biggest difference.” Don’t just exist, live!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
“Feel the fear and do it anyway” — whilst I found the book a little bit abstract, the key message is very valid. We instinctively find things frightening when out of our comfort zone as human beings. Often our comfort zone has been programmed by our experience. Sometimes this is set at the wrong level. Take some calculated risks — you might just enjoy it!
What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?
https://www.linkedin.com/in/chriscolcomb/
https://www.facebook.com/talkingworksUK
https://twitter.com/talkingworksUK
https://www.instagram.com/talkingworksUK/
My Website is at www.talkingworks.uk
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Chris Colcomb of Talking Works: 5 Things Anyone Can Do To Optimize Their Mental Wellness was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.