Skip to content

Emmy Winner Kim Thai of GaneshSpace On How To Develop Mindfulness During Stressful Or Uncertain Times

An Interview With Candice Georgiadis

… Just genuinely checking in and truly being present and listening. I have moved away from asking people “how are you” because it has become so pat. We are very conditioned to say “fine” or “good”. But I instead ask people to share three headlines on what’s going on in their life, follow up with, “well how is your heart in this moment?” and at the end ask “is there anything I can do to support you?”

As a part of my series about “How To Develop Mindfulness And Serenity During Stressful Or Uncertain Times”, I had the pleasure of interviewing mindfulness teacher and Sr. Director of Curriculum Programming at Starts With Us Kim Thai.

Kim Thai (she/her) is an Emmy-award-winning producer, writer, social justice advocate and mindfulness teacher. She is the founder of GaneshSpace, a mindfulness organization that creates healing spaces for marginalized communities and social justice education for all; and the Sr. Director of Curriculum Programming at Starts With Us, a growing movement to overcome the extreme cultural and political divides in America by leveraging media and technology to foster independent thinking and constructive communication across lines of difference.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I rose through the ranks of corporate media quickly and found myself at a crossroads about seven years ago. I could either keep going down the path I was on or dive deeper into my spiritual studies and become a meditation teacher. I took a leap of faith and started teaching full-time, started my own meditation community GaneshSpace and only took opportunities that aligned with my personal mission of wanting to help people connect more deeply with themselves and have a wider perspective of the world. That’s how I landed at Starts With Us — as a child of Vietnamese refugees, I know how political violence and extremism can tear countries and families apart. Growing up a Buddhist, my parents always taught me to live the “Middle Path” — literally finding the balance between the polarities in which we live. Buddhism also helped me understand how we are interdependent and gave me full insight on how to practice compassion towards others even when it is challenging. It is amazing to me at times how much I see Buddhism and my work as a meditation teacher applied to the work we do at Starts With Us in terms of conflict resolution and constructive dialogue.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

I’ve had a lot of colorful moments in my professional career from watching Miley Cyrus rehearse “Wrecking Ball” for the VMAs to learning devotional practices on the banks of the Ganges River in India; it’s hard to choose! But more recently I dressed up as Abraham Lincoln at Starts With Us and did a demonstration in Times Square. I was one of 87 Lincolns representing the 87% of Americans who are tired of the division in our country. The beard wasn’t the most flattering (LOL) but it was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime-never-thought-I-would-do-this moment.

What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?

I think the 3Cs (Curiosity, Compassion, Courage) is a great way of thinking about how to create an inviting and challenging workplace.

By curiosity, we mean deeper critical thinking about the information we consume, poking holes in our own beliefs and sources, and seeking out alternative perspectives to better understand other points of view and our own.

By compassion, we mean empathizing with other people’s experiences, especially when they have landed on very different beliefs than we have, and we mean assuming best intentions and striving to forgive those who have caused us harm or offense.

By courage, we mean strengthening our ability to relate to and work together with people who have very different lives, experiences, and beliefs than we do, especially when it’s uncomfortable. It means showing up, taking a seat at the table, and staying there.

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. From your experience or research, how would you define and describe the state of being mindful?

I wouldn’t think of it as a “state.” I think that is a common misconception. Being mindful isn’t just sitting on a meditation cushion reaching levels of nirvana. Being mindful is the active practice of being in the present moment. What do I mean by that? Think about your day and how often we are distracted by the many notifications going off on our phone, or we’re in the middle of a conversation and our mind starts thinking about what we want to make for dinner that night. Mindfulness is being in the here and now, as Thich Nhat Hanh says. We use our breath as an anchor and a tool to get us there, but it is just one way to do it — you have the opportunity to practice mindfulness in every action you take and every conversation you have.

This might be intuitive to you, but it will be instructive to spell this out. Can you share with our readers a few of the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of becoming mindful?

Mindfulness and cultivating a meditation practice has been proven to have huge benefits for our physical, mental and emotional bodies. Mindfulness helps us cultivate a greater sense of awareness of ourselves and the world — when we are able to tap into that broader sense of understanding, suddenly our world expands. We become more patience; we create more space so we are not so reflexive; we have a greater capacity to be innovative, to decrease stress (which leads to a healthier body) and we are able to generally access joy a bit more easily.

Ok. Here is the main question of our discussion. The past 5 years have been filled with upheaval and political uncertainty. Many people have become anxious from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle, and are feeling the political divide grow with people in their own lives. From your experience and research, what are tips to help prepare for a challenging conversation with family and friends? Please share a story or example for each.

A recent Starts With Us survey showed 87% of Americans are tired of the ongoing political division in the country, and as we saw coming out of this election cycle, the divide is only growing.

With that in mind, I curated the below tips from my work with conflict-resolution and polarization experts, like Peter Coleman, a professor of psychology and education at Columbia University, and leading research institutions like Constructive Dialogue Institute.

It’s an approachable, evidence-based tip list to help you prepare for challenging conversations that might turn political.

Before the Conversation: Prepare

Goal set1 — you likely already have a sense of that aunt, cousin, or long-lost high school friend with totally opposing views that you might run into over the holidays. Avoid going into an exchange with the goal of changing their mind on an issue — that’s likely not going to happen in one conversation!

  • Here are some helpful questions to think about as you mentally prepare:
  • What’s my goal?
  • What’s the other person’s goal?
  • Do our goals match?

Consider the personality and the relationship you have with the other person before you start a convo. For example, does your mother-in-law seemingly have no filter? Does your cousin-once-removed post all over social media about their political views? Has it been years since you last spoke to your brother? Try putting it all into context. Things to consider2:

  • What was their upbringing like?
  • What have they been told is true?
  • What’s at stake for them?
  • Who are they surrounded by in their day-to-day?

During the Conversation: Share & Listen

Open the conversation by stating your intentions and shared goals3. By trying to get on the same page in advance, you won’t be fixated on simply proving your own point.

  • Share what you hope to achieve, and listen to what they hope to achieve
  • Ask what success would look like — for both of you. Maybe:
  • You each walk away having learned something new
  • You feel more connected to each other
  • You both feel heard

Keep a pulse on your emotions — if you find yourself getting angry, sad, frustrated (or all of the above), ask yourself the below questions. Stay introspective and avoid telling someone they are wrong — it can make them cling tighter to their beliefs and an actual dialogue harder to accomplish.

  • Why am I reacting so strongly?
  • Is there something deeper happening here?
  • Has this ever come up before?

Use your breath as a resource — if you find that you are activated in the conversation, take three deep breaths and practice simply listening — to the other person and your body.

Often when we’re talking about divisive issues or topics, we’re ready to jump down each other’s throats and we’re not actually hearing what the other person has to say. To do that, we have to create space around our reactive self and our listening self. If you find yourself sitting at the dinner table and someone says something that makes your hair stand up, before responding try this:

  • Where is tension arising in my body?
  • Is it a knot in my stomach, tightness in my chest?
  • Am I sweating?
  • Is my body warm?

Your body is super smart and if you are able to read its cues, it’ll help you evaluate how ready you actually are to have a challenging conversation. The more familiar you are with yourself and the more well practiced you are, the more you’ll be able to have these conversations and be able to answer the questions:

  • Is now the best time for me to be having this conversation?
  • Am I activated in any way
  • Is there anything I could potentially say that could harm the other person?
  • Should I be talking about this specific topic with this other person?

Close with grace4 — the way you end a difficult conversation can influence your relationship with the other person forever. Some ideas:

  • Express appreciation toward the person for having the tough chat with you
  • Honor them by acknowledging their vulnerability, validating their perspective, or sharing something new you learned from them
  • Name what is unresolved. You don’t have to figure everything out in this one conversation
  • Make a plan to come back to the topic. Show the other person that you value their time

After the Conversation: Reflect & Follow Up

Take time to reflect and digest and consider what you’ve discussed and what you’ve heard. If needed, follow up with any final questions, or resources you offered to share.

Sources:

  1. Constructive Dialogue Institute
  2. Greater Good Science Center & Bridging Difference Playbook
  3. Ariel Burger and The Witness Institute
  4. Ariel Burger and The Witness Institute

From your experience or research, what are steps that each of us can take to effectively offer support to those around us who are feeling anxious? Can you explain?

Just genuinely checking in and truly being present and listening. I have moved away from asking people “how are you” because it has become so pat. We are very conditioned to say “fine” or “good”. But I instead ask people to share three headlines on what’s going on in their life, follow up with, “well how is your heart in this moment?” and at the end ask “is there anything I can do to support you?”

You’d be surprised how often we don’t actually know how the people around us are doing. Asking questions and actively listening to them (not to judge/give advice or response) can really be healing for a person who is having a bad day or is going through a hard time.

What are the best resources you would suggest for someone to learn how to be more mindful and serene in their everyday life?

You can subscribe to the GaneshSpace newsletter and follow us on Instagram for more mindfulness resources. I would also recommend downloading the Plum Village app if you are looking for a library of meditation.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I love what we’re doing at Starts With Us. We are creating a movement to help inspire people to literally change the way they show up in the world; we are empowering people to see that their actions and interactions can have a ripple effect on their community and beyond. I believe that if we were all a little bit more curious, compassionate and courageous, we not only would be able to turn the tides of the toxic division that are happening in our country but we would be on our way to building a democracy where we could be more free to be exactly who we are.

What is the best way our readers can follow you online?

You can find my content on the Starts With Us Instagram and Twitter , along with my mindfulness non-profit GaneshSpace on Instagram. My personal channels are here: Instagram and LinkedIn.

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Emmy Winner Kim Thai of GaneshSpace On How To Develop Mindfulness During Stressful Or Uncertain… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.