Female Disruptors: Alisa Grafton of De Pinna Notaries On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your Industry
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Firstly, in social situations, don’t judge a book by its cover. I regret to say that during my career there have been a few uncomfortable scenarios where I dismissed someone “because they didn’t look important enough”, only to find out — to my surprise and embarrassment — that they were the decision-maker. Don’t assume anything.
As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Alisa Grafton.
Alisa Grafton is a partner at De Pinna Notaries, a leading legal notaries firm, and assists law firms, investment banks and multinationals to execute cross-border transactions. She is also active in female leadership and is a mentor for the Athena40 Forum. Alisa recently published her first book Great Networking: The Art and Practice of Building Authentic Professional Relationships.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
First of all — thanks for this opportunity to talk to your readers.
My career started back in 2001 when I came to settle in London from abroad. I was looking for the best way to use my legal qualification and linguistic skills and someone mentioned notaries. I started as an assistant but was offered a training contract early on, and then worked my way up to make partner 11 years after joining that firm.
I have always enjoyed the work and perhaps more than anything else — the chance to deal with clients on a daily basis. I have met unbelievably inspiring people along the way, but for me, the real interest has been in building a network of contacts that help to consistently grow and expand the business. This has also become the real inspiration behind my book, “Great Networking: The Art and Practice of Building Authentic Professional Relationships”.
Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?
I belong to a rather traditional, fairly closed-off and extremely small profession — Scrivener Notaries Public. In fact, there are only around 35 of us in the whole of our jurisdiction of England and Wales!
Many of the clients are passed from an older generation of notaries to the new generation, and traditionally there has not been much focus on developing business through establishing new connections.
However, unlike many of my colleagues at the time, I did not already belong to an established network when I entered the profession, I had to learn to network and find my own tribe. That was essential for progressing my client base and for cementing my place in the profession. Needless to say, that was not without its challenges. But now, looking back, I know that the goal was absolutely worth it.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
From early on in my career, I tried to develop relationships with those whom I felt I could learn from. This meant that I occasionally appeared to have punched above my weight, joining events that primarily attracted the heavyweights in their fields. I went through the period when I felt — by far! — the stupidest and the most junior person in the room… But you know what? It did not kill me, but the guts that it took me just to sit at that “big bosses” table gave me an injection of confidence that I can handle a difficult work situation. Even the one where I feel completely out of my depth.
We all need a little help along the journey. Who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?
Ah, this is my favourite topic! To put it succinctly, I would not be where I am today, had it not been for the many generous people who have shared their time, guidance and advice with me.
In my book, “Great Networking”, I reiterate that no man is an island, and I describe in detail the impact certain people had on both my career and my wider understanding of the way the world moves. Whether it is a coaching session from an in-demand professional or access to the book of business from a colleague — I never forget people who have been kind to me. And I am fully aware that my success is never entirely mine, and it needs to be shared.
In today’s parlance, being disruptive is usually a positive adjective. But is disrupting always good? When do we say the converse, that a system or structure has ‘withstood the test of time’? Can you articulate to our readers when disrupting an industry is positive, and when disrupting an industry is ‘not so positive’? Can you share some examples of what you mean?
In my mind, the real skill is to know what to keep and what to change. Take the tech progress, for example. I am excited about the opportunities that tech developments offer in the workplace, but I am concerned about what it might mean for the social skills in certain circumstances. Machines can simplify routine tasks, but they cannot replace communication between humans, and so while we encourage technological development in the workplace, we should be just as passionate about maintaining and improving the so-called soft skills. This is truly our advantage as species.
Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.
Firstly, in social situations, don’t judge a book by its cover. I regret to say that during my career there have been a few uncomfortable scenarios where I dismissed someone “because they didn’t look important enough”, only to find out — to my surprise and embarrassment — that they were the decision-maker. Don’t assume anything.
Secondly, remember the kindness that people have shown you, and be grateful. Don’t shy away from saying a genuine “Thank you”. I have gained valuable clients simply because I lifted the phone and expressed my gratitude. People like recommending people who acknowledge goodwill.
And thirdly — enjoy success. Celebrate others, absolutely, but also remember to celebrate your success. You’re not just “lucky”, success normally comes as a result of hard work and determination, and these are worth celebrating. I am somewhat struggling with this, so this is the advice I will take away myself!
We are sure you aren’t done. How are you going to shake things up next?
I am excited to see where the journey that I started with publishing “Great Networking” will take me.
I am massively passionate about writing and speaking on the development of social skills in a work environment, the importance of connecting with others, and honouring your authentic self whilst challenging yourself to build the kind of relationships that can transform careers, and lives. I know that these topics are much in demand now more than ever, and different generations are keen to learn about the best ways of connecting with each other.
In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by ‘women disruptors’ that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?
I am not going to be original here, but speaking as a working mum, the real challenge is the mental load that many women continue to face. Somehow, we fancy ourselves as home goddesses in the house and business wolves at work. We strive to deliver on so many levels, regularly feeling inadequate, often ridden with guilt and occasionally (a bit too occasionally sometimes!) — on a verge of a breakdown. To solve this conundrum, we need to be prepared to communicate our needs, to share the load and seek the solution that does not solely involve bearing more load on our shoulders. And doing so will make us better at being more creative and effective positive disruptors.
Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?
My go-to book when it comes to social skills is Dale Carnegie’s “How to make friends and influence people”. It may be written in a somewhat archaic language, but the sentiment at the heart of the book is very strong. We all have the need to be appreciated and understood — and once we understand this deeply, we reset our communication with people.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Aha, what a great question! I would love for the training in modern-day networking and connections-making to be a standard in the workplace. Social skills are a critical element of a person’s professional development, and we cannot leave this to chance or a personal aptitude. I am also growing very mindful of the importance of learning inter-generational networking, and I would love to be at the forefront of developing this discourse.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I have grown to realise that one of the best predictors of life’s success — meaning happy life rather than swimming in luxury! — is one’s social skills. This is especially relevant for parents to realize when they’re making a judgement on what to concentrate more on — the extracurricular coding classes vs a team sport, for example. In my view, the focus on developing the ability to deal with people, to find common grounds and be at ease in different circles is never a wasted focus. The more I worked on these skills, the more successful, and happier, I became — both, professionally and personally. I think in this day and age of technological progress everywhere, it is critical to remember that, above all and always, we have survived and thrived as species because of our social skills first and foremost.
How can our readers follow you online?
Please follow me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/alisa-grafton-993b3b2/ and on Instagram at great.networking. There are many exciting things happening right now, and I would love the readers to become part of this journey.
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!
Female Disruptors: Alisa Grafton of De Pinna Notaries On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.