Female Disruptors: Kelsa Blaine of Highline Boudoir & Erotica On The Three Things You Need To Shake Up Your Industry
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
“Don’t compare” — It’s not quite a quote, but it’s something I live by. Once I started venturing out into the world when I was in my early twenties, I realized so many different people exist. How odd is it to compare this friend’s beauty with this other friend’s undeniable beauty? I stopped comparing my looks, my clothes, my expectations, and my life and instead started leaning into the question, “Do I like this for me? Does this feel good to me?”
As a part of our series about women who are shaking things up in their industry, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kelsa Blaine.
Kelsa Blaine is the founder of Highline Boudoir & Erotica, a luxury boudoir and erotica experience in Pittsburgh, PA. As an established industry leader with years photographing hundreds of women, couples, and people of all identities and with work published in dozens of publications, Kelsa uses the power of the camera to capture vulnerable, healing moments of awe when clients see themselves like never before. The owner of multiple six-figure businesses by her mid-twenties, Kelsa also blends a background in law and extensive business education to empower other women seeking to build something for themselves.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
I grew up very conservative with little education or knowledge of cultures and disparities outside my own, and with LOADS of shame surrounding sex and sexuality.
When I started associating with people outside of the white conservative bubble I grew up in, I realized the vastly different lives other people lived. It also opened my eyes to the fact that we all experience sexuality on some level. Why on earth aren’t we all talking about it? Why is sex stigmatized and shameful when it’s part of our humanity?
I began asking a lot of questions. Was I “ugly” or had society convinced me what beauty was? Was I “fat” or was my body exactly what it’s meant to be? Was I “too much” or could the wrong people just not handle my authenticity? Reevaluating my life led me away from my religious upbringing to pursue law school. I didn’t know my identity, but I knew what I stood for and that it was time to find myself again.
I started a wedding photography business on the side to get me through law school. Through that, I met a lot of brides who wanted “sexy” photos for their new husbands, which serendipitously led me to try boudoir photography.
Every woman (and I mean EVERY woman) would want boudoir photos for their partner and would leave feeling incredible for themselves instead.
I ended up positively falling in love with everything sexuality meant or could mean — connectedness (we ALL have sexuality), familiarity, beauty, art, and strength. Boudoir became an easy way for me to demonstrate my desire to provide women opportunities that help them explore their sexuality in a safe and empowering environment, away from shame or expectation.
I left the wedding business to shoot boudoir full-time, eventually opening my exclusive studio in Pittsburgh where we offer monthly themed sessions, a full client closet, hair and makeup by local professionals, and other luxe items so every human leaves their experience pampered and empowered just the way they deserve, and feeling closer to who they are.
I added the erotica experience to help clients become sexually enlightened and enlivened by exploring their deeper personal desires and capturing that art on camera. The vulnerability and pure magic that happens in an erotica session are what drew me in, and to see how the power of erotica (and boudoir) reverberates through people’s lives and healing journeys beyond the camera adds deeper meaning to everything I do.
Can you tell our readers what it is about the work you’re doing that’s disruptive?
I like forcing people to have uncomfortable, meaningful, and life-changing conversations and experiences that they think about, but never speak out loud. People shy away from the slightest uncomfortable topic because of a pursued wrongness when meanwhile, our bodies, our expression, our sexuality, and our sensuality are a deep part of ALL of us. People would (and do) find such freedom and awareness from speaking and living these truths. Is it scary? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes, without question.
I’m disrupting the norm locally by having established Pittsburgh’s only female-founded and female-led erotica studio with a fully-female team. I’m trauma-informed, and both my boudoir and erotica experiences have proven to offer therapeutic healing to my clients on their empowerment journey (capturing pre- and post-coitus can be very healing and vulnerable for some, and others find deep joy in capturing life’s delicious reward on camera).
We are also an inclusive studio actively highlighting minority and LGBTQIA+ humans and couples.
Because of my love for seeing people thrive, it’s a passion of mine to also blend my law degree with my empowerment practices to support and help educate people (particularly women) on how to start and scale businesses. LLCs and lingerie go hand in hand.
We’re disrupting the norm by bringing stigmatized topics to the forefront and turning them into modes of expressive empowerment.
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
My very first day of paying clients, right? I’m jazzed. I got up early that morning, had my coffee, and got my cameras prepped and ready for action. I have gourmet snacks from local female vendors, champagne, and berries — the works. I’m beyond excited. The women coming in are pretty nervous, but I talk to and reassure them as they get their hair and makeup done. We sip light champagne and talk about life.
Well.
I noticed one of the women had an apple juice bottle she brought with her that smelled A LOT like strong alcohol.
And it was.
Soon enough, she was intoxicated beyond comprehension and unable to follow directions. We ended the session having not given her the experience she came for, and I made her stay while I cleaned so she could get sober.
After that, it went in the contract that NO OUTSIDE ALCOHOL OR BEING DRUNK was permitted. But it goes beyond safety. Do you know why? Because while boudoir can be nerve-wracking for a lot of my clients, it’s an experience and investment made to be FELT. I don’t want my clients to numb themselves and simply get by. I want them to safely and fully move through their experience and savor every moment, so they can take those feelings with them into the rest of their lives and have their moment captured on camera. I want them to look back and say wow, that’s ME.
We all need a little help along the journey. Who have been some of your mentors? Can you share a story about how they made an impact?
Matthew Madison, a professor in law school, always encouraged me to adventure the unbeaten path.
Rachel Rodgers, author of We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman’s Guide to Earning More, Building Wealth, and Gaining Economic Power, for teaching and providing me so much education about women, wealth, and why it’s important.
Emily Nagoski, author of Come As You Are, for educating us that everyone is the same, just organized differently.
In today’s parlance, being disruptive is usually a positive adjective. But is disrupting always good? When do we say the converse, that a system or structure has ‘withstood the test of time’? Can you articulate to our readers when disrupting an industry is positive, and when disrupting an industry is ‘not so positive’? Can you share some examples of what you mean?
I’m of the influence that being disruptive is usually the thing to take notice of a bigger issue that needs to be resolved. Disruption is the spotlight that highlights issues and draws needed attention. I believe systems and structures need to evolve. Almost all systems and structures have an expiration date as humanity evolves and educates itself. It would be a sad community in which there were no growth or “disruptions.”
So overall, I would say disruption is almost always needed for growth and education. I’d also add though, that disruptions can be done diplomatically. For me, I see myself challenging people (women specifically) to ask questions about their sexuality and begin to explore a safe space they can adventure around in their sexuality. The disruptions that are needed are the ones that point people to resources and education, inspiring them to become better and kinder humans.
Can you share 3 of the best words of advice you’ve gotten along your journey? Please give a story or example for each.
I can share two pieces of advice that have vastly impacted my journey.
“No one cares as much as you do about your flaws.” This is something I’ve learned firsthand from photographing now hundreds of different women from all backgrounds, shapes, and sizes. We tend to be our own worst enemies when in reality, we’re the only ones seeing things that make us who we are as flawed. The things that make us unique are the things that make us powerful.
“You are your own best advocate.” As women, it comes naturally to us to be considerate of others, especially those we care about. But learning to be considerate of me FIRST has been life-changing. When I advocate for myself, I found a lot of other issues disappeared or freed me up to be a better partner, friend, and family member.
We are sure you aren’t done. How are you going to shake things up next?
As of 2022, I’m currently working with another woman to create a magazine that reclaims the word “MILF” in an empowering and uplifting way.
In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by ‘women disruptors’ that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?
Oh my. Where do I even start? The biggest challenge I think is women and men are raised differently in western culture. Men are expected, or at least it’s not surprising, to be opinionated and loud and to be “natural leaders.” But women are taught to be kind, sweet, and “nice.”
So naturally, women have to retrain themselves or just be ok with having a lot of haters if they voice their opinions. Even for me, I find it a daily practice to let my voice not just be heard, but to be impactful.
It’s something I have to think about every day — not closing up and being small just because it’s “comfy and I’m used to it.” But instead, to use my throat, use my vocal cords, to articulate the bigger and better thoughts and feelings I have to share.
Do you have a book/podcast/talk that’s had a deep impact on your thinking? Can you share a story with us?
The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris. It’s all about efficiently working, and making money work for YOU instead of you working for your money. It changed my life in regards to making me understand that I was going to build my life by investing in people to be a team to work for me.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
It would be for women to own their voices, own their strengths, and vow to stop playing small. It’s amazing to me how many extremely talented women I meet who purposely play life small because they’re concerned about what it would mean for their partner, children, or families. But then the women I see who flourish and are happy are the ones who finally wake up one day and say “forget this” and begin to live their ONE LIFE for themselves for the first time. It’s beautiful. I wish every woman would vow to use their voice in advocating for themselves.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Don’t compare”
It’s not quite a quote, but it’s something I live by. Once I started venturing out into the world when I was in my early twenties, I realized so many different people exist. How odd is it to compare this friend’s beauty with this other friend’s undeniable beauty? I stopped comparing my looks, my clothes, my expectations, and my life and instead started leaning into the question, “Do I like this for me? Does this feel good to me?”
I quickly learned that my superpower was JUST ME BEING ME. And other women, when they started letting go of comparisons, would become super powerful beings that were uniquely themselves, too.
So overall?
Stop comparing.
Stop comparing social media feeds and talents and bodies and instead lean into what you like, what you enjoy, and learning how to love yourself.
How can our readers follow you online?
On my website at https://www.highlineboudoiranderotica.com/
On Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/highlineboudoiranderotica
On Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/highlineboudoiranderotica/
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!
Female Disruptors: Kelsa Blaine of Highline Boudoir & Erotica On The Three Things You Need To Shake… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.