Female Founders: Rahel Bayar of The Bayar Group On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Woman Founder
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Take the time to care for your mental and physical health. Daily exercise or meditation, walking outdoors or focusing on you, even for a few moments, can have a huge impact on your success.
As a part of our series about “Why We Need More Women Founders”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rahel Bayar.
Rahel Bayar, Founder and CEO of The Bayar Group, is a former sex crimes and child abuse prosecutor who works with organizations across the country on implementing effective and impactful abuse and harassment prevention policies and training. She built her career on creating safe spaces and facilitating change in workplaces globally. Prior to founding The Bayar Group, Rahel was a Managing Director in the Sexual Misconduct Consulting & Investigations division of a security and consulting firm, and an Assistant District Attorney in both the Child Abuse/Sex Crimes and Domestic Violence Bureaus at the Bronx District Attorney’s office. Over the past decade, Rahel has consulted with organizations across the country and conducted many highly sensitive investigations into allegations of sexual misconduct, harassment, and boundary crossing behavior. She has developed and delivered customized interactive key notes, workshops, lectures and training across the country to diverse workplaces. She is a sought after and widely renowned speaker for her engaging workshops on the topics of sexual misconduct, abuse prevention & detection, safe social media and electronic communication practices, boundary guidelines, and consent.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your “backstory”? What led you to this particular career path?
It is a pleasure to be speaking with you! I grew up the daughter of educators, and for as long as I can remember, I had the value of “adding your own value to the world” as part of the fabric of my childhood. I had always been drawn to advocacy and to using my talents and voice to make impactful change. It became clear to me that law school was an opportunity to find a way to use my voice, which led me to pursue employment at the Bronx District Attorney’s Office–a place where I could seek justice and add value.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company?
I think the most interesting interactions are when people are expecting this rough and scary former prosecutor and share with me that after an initial consultation call or conversation, they were taken aback by my ability to listen and to process with them. I think people hear “former Bronx sex crimes prosecutor” and expect what they have seen on an episode of Law and Order!
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Having started my company during the pandemic, much of the first year took place on Zoom. I also have three amazing kids–and I neglected to share clear directions as to when I could be interrupted on Zoom vs. not. Navigating a pandemic, a new business, and parenting meant that I had to learn quickly that many conversations would be interrupted by my kids. There were some really great Zoom kid moments, so I had to start the beginning of every conversation with, “Because I have asked my kids not to interrupt–they totally will, we are just going to go with the flow!” It became apparent that communication on exactly what to expect from a home-based meeting was necessary–and also alleviated any of the anxiety I felt from balancing home and work.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
It would be impossible to name just one. In making the decision to start my own business, I leaned heavily on both my family, friends and colleagues to help me with both the emotional weight of going off on my own, but also on the technical pieces–something I knew nothing about. Founding a company requires legal, technical and financial wherewithal, and I am so thankful to have people with their own expertise who shared that with me.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. According to this EY report, only about 20 percent of funded companies have women founders. This reflects great historical progress, but it also shows that more work still has to be done to empower women to create companies. In your opinion and experience what is currently holding back women from founding companies?
All people, irrespective of gender, have a voice. It is important that we acknowledge that, empower each other, build each other up to make our marks and add value where we can. We have to support each other in the ways that are needed for that person and realize it is not a one-size-fits-all approach, and that small moments matter. Empowering people can add true value and it is something every single person can do. I still remember prosecuting one of my first rape trials and mid-trial I suffered a miscarriage. The sincere kindness of every person in that courtroom — judge, my co-counsel, defense attorney, court stenographer–upon my return to the trial after a few days off, was the grace that I needed to continue that trial. To have something so personal happen at a moment of tremendous stress could have made me walk away from my profession completely. But the grace and professionalism of every person helped me find the balance I needed–even if I didn’t realize I needed it.
What has helped me build a business as a female founder is finding a balance and looking to the people around me for the support I need when I need it (and sometimes when I don’t even know I need it). We need to do that for each other, we need to work to create spaces where individuals can thrive–as people first and as builders of value second.
Can you help articulate a few things that can be done as individuals, as a society, or by the government, to help overcome those obstacles?
As mentioned earlier, enabling everyone to achieve work/life balance without judgment is going to encourage more women to take the leap to become founders and take the reins of their professional destiny. Being a parent doesn’t mean you can’t be an amazing business owner (or employee), quite the contrary.
This might be intuitive to you as a woman founder but I think it will be helpful to spell this out. Can you share a few reasons why more women should become founders?
Because being a successful founder adds value to the world. Every single person, irrespective of their gender identity should have their time to channel that value into the world.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a founder? Can you explain what you mean?
I think the biggest myth is that you can’t do it. The fear in creating and building something is palpable, and that fear leads so many to believe that they cannot build something.
Is everyone cut out to be a founder? In your opinion, which specific traits increase the likelihood that a person will be a successful founder and what type of person should perhaps seek a “regular job” as an employee? Can you explain what you mean?
I truly believe in the ethos that if we raise the bar, we can rise to the occasion. Every single person has something about who they are that makes them unique–there is no one way to be a founder and there is no one personality trait. If you have drive, passion, creativity and a desire to change something–surround yourself with people who are smarter and know more than you, and pursue that passion.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why? (Please share a story or example for each.)
- It’s ok to fail and pick yourself up and try something new.
- Take the time to care for your mental and physical health. Daily exercise or meditation, walking outdoors or focusing on you, even for a few moments, can have a huge impact on your success.
- Put your phone down. There will always be more work to do–or a fire to put out, but attaching yourself to your work 24/7 will benefit no one.
- Outsource the things you do NOT excel at and embrace other people’s talent as a huge win.
- Eat breakfast. Nourish your body, Walk away from work when you need some space. It will still be there when you return.
How have you used your success to make the world a better place?
I hope I am doing that! My goal in starting The Bayar Group was to make abuse and harassment prevention impactful and doable and to shape workplaces around the world. I truly believe in the ripple effects of conversation and communication. I believe that those ripple effects–if they can keep even one child or one person safer–are worth the tough conversations.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
End child sexual abuse. End workplace harassment. To end the secrecy around abuse and harassment and to ensure that every single person has the opportunity to thrive without being victimized. Just a small thing!
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.
Claude Silver — her leadership from the heart is inspiring, her message and presence have been a guiding force for me.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
Female Founders: Rahel Bayar of The Bayar Group On The Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.