An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Act with the anxiety. Act as if you aren’t anxious. Function with it. Slow down if you have to but keep going. Breathe normally. If you run from the situation your anxiety will go down, but your fear will go up. If you stay, both your anxiety and your fear will eventually go down. In other words, allow yourself time to acclimate to your environment.
As a part of my series about “How To Develop Mindfulness And Serenity During Stressful Or Uncertain Times”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tom Seaman.
Tom Seaman is a Certified Professional Life Coach in the area of health and wellness, and author of 2 books: Beyond Pain and Suffering: Adapting to Adversity and Life Challenges (2021) and Diagnosis Dystonia: Navigating the Journey (2015). Tom is also a motivational speaker, chronic pain and dystonia awareness advocate, health blogger, volunteer for the Dystonia Medical Research Foundation (DMRF) as a support group leader, and volunteer writer for Chronic Illness Bloggers Network, The Mighty, Patient Worthy, and The Wellness Universe. Tom was also featured in Brain and Life Magazine, Pain Free Living Magazine, and Pain Pathways Magazine. To learn more about Tom, visit www.tomseamancoaching.com.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I work as a life coach in the area of health and wellness and how I arrived here is topsy turvy. I graduated college with a degree in education and psychology. After graduating, I was offered a position with a health education company. I chose that route rather than teaching or something in the field of psychology. After 6 years in business, I decided to return to school for my master’s degree in counselling. Upon completion, I had plans of opening a private counseling practice, but life had other plans. During my first semester, I developed a debilitating movement disorder called dystonia. Within months, I was in severe pain and unable to continue with school. I had taken on the life of a disabled person, rolling around on the floor in pain all day. After 10 years of learning how to better manage my symptoms, I began helping others with their health issues. This transformed into life coaching, so I returned to school to get professionally certified as a coach, which I achieved in 2012. The ironic thing to me is that I always planned on being a baseball coach. I talked about coaching “at some point in the future” even when I was a high school student. So, I did turn out to be a coach, just not a baseball coach. Life experiences sure have a funny way of planning things for us.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I was helping someone start a new company online and while we were testing out various things on the website, one day I received an empty email. This would happen from time to time and I would typically ignore it. I deleted the email, but never cleared my trash. For a day or two, this email would not leave my mind. For some reason, I couldn’t shake it, so I decided to respond to it to let the person know that I received an email without any content. They responded and said they were reading an article I wrote about my life with dystonia to learn more to help a friend who was suffering with it. She “mistakenly” hit a link that sent me the empty email. We exchanged several more emails and she connected me with her friend who I began helping for the next 10 years. So an “accidental” email turned into a longtime friendship. This experience always reminds me to listen to that little voice inside and follow my intuition.
What advice would you give to other leaders about how to create a fantastic work culture?
Great question and one that is difficult to answer with specifics because I think a fantastic work culture is unique to the individual. That said, I believe the most important thing is that we personally visualize what a fantastic work culture is for us and then seek that out. For me, I had to find something that suited my interests and also my health challenges. In order to manage both, I needed to create an at-home work situation, which I have been able to do.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
The Road Less Travelled by M. Scott Peck. My brother gave me this book as a high school student, and it made my young mind think very differently than it was at that ripe age. It taught me to be introspective and question things about myself that I normally didn’t give a second thought. After saying that, I realize it did for me the very same thing that one of my favorite quotes did 25 years later. That being, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” by Wayne Dyer. This is exactly what The Road Less Traveled did for me and I am forever grateful for being introduced to this material at the time I was.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. From your experience or research, how would you define and describe the state of being mindful?
I have to defer to the definition of mindfulness that comes from Jon Kabat-Zinn. That being, “paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, as if your life depended upon it.” I view mindfulness as a state of nothingness and everything all at the same time. What I mean by that is when we pay attention, on purpose, in the present moment as if our life depended upon it, we have focused attention without judgment where we get completely lost in something, but at the same time, with enough practice, we are completely present with ourselves. I have an inside joke with some of my coaching clients who are working on mindfulness activities, and will say “just get lost,” which of course can be interpreted as a rude comment, but in our working relationship we know that it is meant in the former context.
Mindfulness is also a state of living in bewilderment or awe, both of which are states of mind where we are lost in amazement about something that completely fills our mind in a peaceful way. As Rumi said, “sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” What I infer this to mean is that we have to get our critical thinking mind out of the way and be completely present with ourselves or something/someone else. I like to use a spider web as an example. Even if you don’t like spiders, it is hard to not get lost, or be bewildered or in awe, in the majestic artwork of their webs. There are many other examples of things in nature that we can be in awe of that help us “get lost.” So, in other words, when we can turn off the world around us and get lost, we become more present. Too often, we feel we need to be on the ball about everything to the point of micromanaging our lives. This is when we tend to lose touch with our inner selves and live mindlessly.
This might be intuitive to you, but it will be instructive to spell this out. Can you share with our readers a few of the physical, mental, and emotional benefits of becoming mindful?
The practice of mindfulness helps to engage the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest branch of the autonomic nervous system. We live in a world where we have become much more emotional and reactionary, which causes us to live in a more anxious state. Living in a state of anxiety means that we are engaging the sympathetic nervous system, which is where the fight, flight, freeze response is housed. When that side of the nervous system is overactive, we have various inflammatory stress chemicals being produced that can cause or exacerbate physical and mental health conditions. It also pulls us further away from inner peace. The benefit of mindfulness practice is greater control of emotions and clarity of thought, which leads to inner harmony where we learn to respond to various life experiences in a more thoughtful way to reduce the physical and emotional burden stress may have on us. By doing this, we are better able to listen to our inner voice and even our bodies that are always telling us what we need to do to feel better and find inner peace or maintain inner peace (exercise, rest, read a book, work, go for a walk, get outdoors in nature, etc.)
Ok. Here is the main question of our discussion. The past 5 years have been filled with upheaval and political uncertainty. Many people have become anxious from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle. From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to develop mindfulness during such uncertain times? Can you please share a story or example for each.
Great question and one that’s challenging to answer because each of us has different concerns regarding the uncertainty of our world right now. That being said, I’d like to make this as simple as possible and people can expand upon this based on their particular needs.
1. Pause — Ask yourself WHAT it is that you are feeling right now.
2. Ask yourself WHY you feel the way that you do and if it is the appropriate response to what is happening in the moment, or if it is a visceral (gut) reaction. If it is a visceral reaction, take more time to stay in the pause until you can bring your emotions to a lower level.
3. Breathe– Become aware of your breath and just your breath. Notice how it naturally comes in and out. Don’t force your breath. Just pay attention to its rhythm (this is called conscious awareness). I like to say, “let your body breathe itself.”
4. Take a moment to just allow things to be exactly as they are without judging, if possible (awareness without judgement is a key principle of mindfulness).
5. Reset– Allow your calming breath to help you make an agreement with yourself that you are going to reset your existing mindset and the feelings that go along with it, so that you can go about your day with more peace.
The power of the pause is such that it can literally change your day and put you into a totally different mindset. It also helps us learn to live in the moment, which is all we have in life until the next moment arrives. None of us knows if we have hours, days, weeks, months, years, etc. ahead of us, so to practice living in the moment, the only thing promised to us, is to live mindfully.
The power of the breath is too long to go into here, but suffice to say, breathing has health benefits such as detoxification, it releases tension, relieves emotional problems, relaxes the body and mind, massages organs, strengthens the immune system, improves posture, improves digestion, balances the nervous system, boosts energy, improves cellular regeneration, and elevates moods, to name just a few.
Many people I speak with wake up in the morning with a sense of urgency and anxiety. This is a great time to PAUSE. BREATHE. RESET, and then begin your day. We have all heard the saying, “I got up on the wrong side of the bed today,” as a way to describe why they or someone else is having a bad day. There is some truth to this because the way we start our day can often determine the kind of day we will have. It is probably best to start the day in a place of peace, so allow yourself that extra time to go into that place of peace. For some it is easy and for others it is a challenge. As with anything, it takes practice, so please practice this mindfulness technique, or others, if you are challenged in this area. It can have profound health benefits.
So, the question we should all be asking ourselves is, “how often do I pause during the day, whether it be a moment, a minute, a half hour, an hour, and so on?” Most of us probably don’t do it near as much as we should. Our lives can often feel like we are on a hamster wheel or always trying to catch up. Just waiting a few minutes for something to warm up in the microwave can feel like hours to some of us. Tell yourself to PAUSE. BREATHE. RESET whenever you feel out of control. It literally takes less than 10 seconds to do, but the benefit can last hours when practiced on a regular basis.
From your experience or research, what are five steps that each of us can take to effectively offer support to those around us who are feeling anxious? Can you explain?
It would be helpful to learn the AWARE technique which you can then share with others who are anxious. The AWARE technique comes from the book, Anxiety Disorders and Phobias: A Cognitive Perspective, by Aaron Beck and Gary Emery.
A: Accept the anxiety. Welcome it. Don’t fight it. Replace your rejection, anger, and hatred of it with acceptance. By resisting, you are prolonging the unpleasantness of it. Instead, flow with it. Don’t make it responsible for how you think, feel, and act.
W: Watch and Wait. Look at your anxiety without judgment. It’s neither good nor bad. Become detached from it. Remind yourself that you are not your anxiety. The more you can separate yourself from the experience, the more you can view it as a third party observer.
Even though there is a powerful urge to run away to try and escape anxious situations, postpone that decision for a little bit. Stay in the situation. Don’t tell yourself you can’t leave. Keep that option open so you don’t feel trapped, but remember that you don’t need to run away to get relief. Let relief come to you.
A: Act with the anxiety. Act as if you aren’t anxious. Function with it. Slow down if you have to but keep going. Breathe normally. If you run from the situation your anxiety will go down, but your fear will go up. If you stay, both your anxiety and your fear will eventually go down. In other words, allow yourself time to acclimate to your environment.
R: Repeat the steps. Continue to accept your anxiety, watch it, and act with it until it goes down to a comfortable level.
E: Expect the best. What we fear rarely happens. Recognize that a certain amount of anxiety is a normal part of life. Understanding this puts us in a good position to accept it if it comes again. We are familiar with it and know what to do with it. Too often, we become fearful of the feelings that accompany anxiety (heart racing, sweaty palms, dizziness, weakness, etc.). When we do this, we are adding fear on top of fear, which is what turns anxiety into panic.
After years of suffering with the health condition I mentioned above (chronic pain from dystonia), as I learned to better manage my symptoms and develop a new relationship with it, I developed more confidence in myself. With more confidence I began doing things I once avoided like the plague because of intense anxiety and panic attacks. It opened my world and made life interesting and exciting again. Instead of worrying about all the bad things that might happen before I did an activity, I started to look forward to them. A huge burden was lifted and I was living again. There are many different words people use for the FEAR acronym such as, Face Everything And Rise, False Expectations Appearing Real, Forget Everything And Run, among others. My new favorite one that is related to mindfulness is, Forget Everything And Relax.
What are the best resources you would suggest for someone to learn how to be more mindful and serene in their everyday life?
I was first introduced to mindfulness using the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn. I think he is a good starting point for most everyone, particularly his program called Mindfulness for Beginners.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
“Success is not final. Failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.” Winston Churchill. After a very challenging and stressful freshman year in college, the day after I returned home, I walked into my bedroom and this quote was on my bed in my Dad’s handwriting. He knew I felt defeated after a poor academic year, but that it was okay to move forward, understanding that bumps in life don’t have to define us if we don’t let them. The following school year I made the Academic Dean’s list.
Fast forward 12 years when I developed a neurological movement disorder called dystonia that totally changed my life, and I was COMPLETELY defined by it. I went from very active and successful in all areas of my life to a disabled person in severe chronic pain and completely reliant on the help of others. That was 20 years ago. After nearly a decade figuring out how to better manage my health condition and the rest of my life, I no longer let my health define me. Instead, I decided to define its place in my life, and a lot of this was from using mindfulness techniques. I have since written 2 books (one of which is on the suggested resources list for the Michael J Fox Foundation), I became a motivational speaker and certified professional life coach helping others around the world with their health challenges, I have been on international radio shows and podcasts, and have had over 75 articles published worldwide. So not only was this quote meaningful to me when I was 18, it is just as meaningful to me at 30, 40, and 50.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
This may sound strange to people, but I think we should all stop watching 24-hour news stations…. All of them. I think the news is nothing but a stress producer. Even local/regional news is a stress trigger for many people without them even knowing it. Rather than have someone else tell us what SUPPOSEDLY is going on in the world, we should seek it out on our own, learning what we want to know and not what other people want to tell us. If we stop watching the news, they would have far less nonsense to report in ways that are so overly dramatic, which would reduce our fear, anxiety, and worry. We would have less frustration, hate. and anger in our hearts, and we would be far less divided as a world. If you really think about, what does the news do to enhance your life for the better? Are you really more informed or are you more emotionally charged by it? In my opinion, the news tells us what the powers that be, whoever they are, want us to think. It is a modern day Thinkpol (Thought Police) from the book 1984 by George Orwell. I purposely stopped watching the news about 5 years ago and I noticed something interesting. I wasn’t missing anything important and whatever was important, other people told me. The most helpful thing that came from not watching the news anymore was that my stress level went down. Therefore, I encourage you, in a very mindful way, to look at how the news might be stressing you and see if you can reduce or eliminate it from your life. Give it a try for a couple weeks and see if you notice a difference.
What is the best way our readers can follow you online?
All of my books, articles, blog, and other resources, as well as my life coaching information, can be found on my website at www.tomseamancoaching.com. I am also on Twitter @DystoniaBook1, as well as LinkedIn and Instagram @CoachTom12.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
Thank you very much! I hope these tidbits can be of help to others.
Life Coach and Author Tom Seaman: How To Develop Mindfulness During Stressful Or Uncertain Times was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.