Awareness — As soon as you feel the affects of Imposter Syndrome rising, stop and take three deep breaths. With each breath become aware of the thoughts you are having and the feelings that accompany them. Just pay attention. Imagine you are a fly on the wall watching yourself having this experience. When you can separate your true self from the negative thoughts flooding your mind you will have access to breaking free. This is mindfulness.
As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rich Oceguera.
Rich Oceguera is a best selling author, award-winning entrepreneur and host of several talk shows including UNMUTE Yourself and Heart to Heart.
Rich interweaves 35 years of business development, speaking, teaching, spiritual development and video production experience to provide transformational training programs and workshops designed for business owners, authors, coaches and speakers to help them unmute their voices, confidently promote their wisdom & services and magnetize their ideal customers.
Rich graduated from Columbia College Chicago with a BA in television production and has trained extensively in spiritual, mindfulness and ontological practices which he combines with modern neuroscience tools to give his clients a unique edge. Rich Oceguera is the proud co-founder & president emeritus of NGLCCNY, New York’s first-ever chamber of commerce serving the LGBT & Allied business community.
Learn more and get updates on upcoming events for Rich’s global community of rising visionary change-makers at www.richawakenings.com.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
Do you remember that game we played in elementary school called dodgeball? You know, the one where kids throw a ball at your head as hard as they can and somehow that is supposed to be fun? Well, for me, it was pure terror. I was always the last kid picked on a team and usually the first to get hit by that dang red ball!
In kindergarten my teacher, Mrs. Stern, dubbed me ‘Chatterbox’ because I wouldn’t stop talking and asking questions! But in grade school I became shy and self-conscious because of experiences like Dodgeball and being taunted and bullied by the other boys. My little brain made up some stories like, “People don’t like me,” “There must be something wrong with me” and “Groups are dangerous so it’s better to stay alone.” I became muted in my self-expression.
Flash-forward to 1998 and I had just moved to New York City. My dream came true! But I quickly became painfully aware that my shyness was going to be a problem and if I didn’t do something to overcome it it would cost me money, experiences and relationships. That’s when I began to face my limitations and transform them through personal development.
I dove into the world of transformation training and learned that I could diffuse my self-sabotaging beliefs and actually build an entirely new mindset using the power of my words and thoughts to create a new life!
Little did I know that I would end up helping business owners to develop the confidence and skills to unmute their voices and create a powerful presence so they can help more clients!
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
The craziest thing in my career involves a New York City taxi driver, a PR firm and a webcam. I was standing politely on the sidewalk cautiously waving my hand in the direction of approaching taxis when suddenly a driver from two lanes over veered towards me and screeches to a halt. I jumped in and gave him my destination.
The driver’s name was Clever Da Silva and he had become a minor NYC celebrity from his book, “New York City from a Cab Drivers View.” When I told him I worked in public relations he shoved his press release through the partition. And it was awful! All single spaces, all caps and way too many pages. He begged me to read it. So I did. And then he insisted that I help him get media coverage for his revolutionary concept. That’s when he took a round plastic object off of his dashboard and pointed it at me.
“Look at this!” he demanded. “It’s a webcam and you are being seen on the internet right now by people all over the world!”
This was 1999. Webcams were novel. Our cell phones could barely be used to text and we certainly didn’t have cameras and video capabilities as standard equipment in our yet to be invented smart phones. Clever had figured out how to rig a webcam to an internet signal and send it to a website. Toddlers can do that nowadays, but back then it was something extraordinary. And Clever wasn’t interested in his riders in the back seat. He was showing his audience what New York City looks like through the eyes of a cabbie driving through the skyscraper canyons! And people from around the world were loving it.
He begged me to help get this press release in front of the media and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I told my bosses this crazy story and asked if they would be willing to take Clever on as a client. They laughed at me. And then one said, “We don’t do that kind of PR. But you are welcome to come in early or stay late and use our resources.” This is before media lists were available digitally and instead you had thick directories to search through to find the right contact info.
So I did. I was still new to the PR world but knew enough to put together a press release and media kits that included metal taxis wrapped in yellow tissue paper. Believe it or not it worked! My phone started ringing off the hook from bookers, producers and reporters from around the globe all wanting to interview Clever Da Silva the Internet Cabbie. His story and innovation were an international internet success story.
And then I got fired. The same bosses who told me to use their resources decided I was doing to well for my “client” and thought I should move on. I was devastated because Clever wasn’t a paying client. It was more of a risky project. And now I was jobless and broke.
Then the craziest part of the story happened! A man got into Clever’s cab and recognized him from all that media attention. He purchased the rights to Clever’s concept and next thing I know I am being interviewed to be the CEO of a new internet company and suddenly I’m making six figures.
My takeaway: When opportunity strikes say “yes!” Even if you don’t know how to make it happen.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
What makes Rich Awakenings Media stand out is our ability to lead our clients to new levels of confidence and credibility in 45 days or less. Clients who have struggled for years with low self-esteem and fear of rejection quickly transform their mindsets and become bold, confident and magnetic presenters on-camera and wherever they are speaking.
I think this exemplifies what is possible for our clients: “Before working with Rich I was very resistant to using video. It just terrified me! While I worked with Rich I got tons of reinforcing, constructive feedback and a lot of really clear formulas about what makes a video work. Really simple! And now, after Rich, here I am making videos!” Nancy Kleaver, Executive Director Dancing Classrooms NYC.
Nancy had been resisting appearing in marketing videos for her organization even though she knew it would give them an edge. Then she heard about my course Camera Confidence 101 and decided she would give it a try. Her transformation was so inspiring to witness and her confidence level is now through the roof. It is so gratifying to watch really smart people step into their power like this!
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I agree! People who excel in business almost always say they couldn’t have done it without an inner-circle of coaches, mentors and advisors. I could list scores of people who helped me along the way, but the first person who popped into my mind is Stephen Massaro, a former boss. He saw how I was struggling to meet my sales goals because I was too afraid to ask for the sale. He knew how to fix it and it was through mindset training. He showed me that I had limiting beliefs about money and fear of rejection. Stephen was relentless with me and I’m not going to lie, it was difficult, but in the end it paid off! He taught me that if I am willing to be bigger than my fears I can do anything.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?
For me, Imposter Syndrome is a mindset condition. It’s when a person has thoughts of inadequacy and an irrational fear of being discovered to be a fraud. Said another way, Imposter Syndrome is what happens when a competent expert lets doubt creep in and dissuade them from fully using their voice, talent or knowledge because they believe they are not worthy enough.
And it feels awful! In my experience working with clients over many years, there is a fear of rejection involved. And often a deeply rooted sense of shame. It can feel frustrating, infuriating and heavy. I know that’s how it feels for me. In my case mistakes from my past creep up to tell me that I have no right to call myself an expert because if people only knew…blah blah blah. The fear of looking bad or flat out being rejected spices this lethal cocktail of dread. And without acknowledging these feelings and fully feeling them it is nearly impossible to move past Imposter Syndrome. Awareness is the first step.
What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?
Imposter Syndrome is a huge issue for so many really smart and otherwise confident people! When you give in to it and allow those mistaken beliefs to rule you it will keep you limited in your ability to truly position and present yourself as an expert in your field. You will miss out on opportunities to present your services, diminish your credibility and quite simply you will not be as financially successful in your business as you could be. The fear will keep you playing a very small and safe game.
How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?
I notice the people in the grips of Imposter Syndrome can be unduly defensive or jealous of those who are blazing a trail ahead. They may see themselves as inferior and less-than-capable than their peers and that can lead to the feelings of jealously and envy. And it becomes a vicious cycle that leads to nothing good. The worst part is the person in the grips of this cycle is using their time, energy and resources focused on their ‘competition’ and their own feelings of inadequacy instead of showing up as the visionary leader they are and not making a positive impact in their client’s lives. I’ve been there myself!
We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?
I shared with you the story about how I went from NYC newbie to fledgling PR guy to jobless only to end up being a CEO. I still don’t know how I had the guts to say “Yes” to Clever Da Silva. But that one decision opened up an entirely new world for me that would lead me to an outrageous opportunity ten years later.
In 2008 I was tapped to be the leader of a fledgling organization, the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce New York. During the previous ten years I went from shy guy to being known as one the most well-connected people in NYC. And that is one-hundred percent a result of all the mindset, personal and spiritual development work I had been soaking up.
But I had no idea how to create, let alone lead, a chamber of commerce. Talk about imposter syndrome material! Yet I still said, “Yes!” to that opportunity. It was ridiculously terrifying. Businesses, investment money and reputations were on the line and I was at the head of it all. But I believed in the vision of the chamber and I knew that we could prosper. Even though it happened to be the height of the global financial recession of 2008 our team didn’t let those external realities dictate our actions. We not only built the foundation for the chamber of commerce but we did it in such a way that the organization continues to thrive today. If I had let Imposter Syndrome have its way there’s no way we would have succeeded.
Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?
Imposter Syndrome is something that will try its best to get you. I’m not going to lie, it still tries to take me down. But now I know how to spot it and I have tools to extinguish it and to remember who I really am.
My main tools are a combination of mindfulness, mindset and taking action towards the very thing the fear tells me I can’t accomplish.
In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.
One of the tools I teach my clients is the 5 Steps to Overcoming Limiting Beliefs. Imposter Syndrome is nothing but a limiting belief a.k.a. a bad thought habit that has you convinced that you are not worthy or ready to share your expertise. It’s a mindset issue and that is the good news! Because of the marvel of technology that is our human brain it is possible to create new thought habits that serve to empower rather that inhibit you. Thanks to neuroplasticity (the brain’s ability to continually learn new information and create new habits) you can literally choose new thoughts that over time and with repetition lead to new results. This is how I went from being terribly shy, self-conscious and fearful to courageous, confident and bold. Here’s my 5 Steps:
1. Awareness — As soon as you feel the affects of Imposter Syndrome rising, stop and take three deep breaths. With each breath become aware of the thoughts you are having and the feelings that accompany them. Just pay attention. Imagine you are a fly on the wall watching yourself having this experience. When you can separate your true self from the negative thoughts flooding your mind you will have access to breaking free. This is mindfulness.
2. Attitude — Next check your attitude. What is your self talk? Are you berating, criticizing or belittling yourself for feeling unworthy or inadequate? Until you have laid down the seeds of a new way of knowing yourself you will likely be feeling frustrated, sad or even mad at yourself. That’s ok. And now that you have acknowledged your attitude you can choose to change your mind. Are you willing to be bigger than your fears, doubts, worries and pre-conceived notions? Willingness is the key to change. Be willing.
3. Action — Now you are in a mental place where change can occur and it’s time to take action. Being aware and willing are crucial but they alone won’t make the difference. This is where your commitment to being the best you can be coupled with your desire to make a positive impact in the lives of your clients becomes your rocket fuel. There are many actions you can take to create a new mindset: affirmations, meditation, mindfulness practices and transformation training are all powerful actions. In my experience using The Mind Mastery Formula has been my fastest route to laying down new, empowering mental thought habits. It’s a simple process based in neuroscience in which you ask yourself three questions every day that put you in the driver’s seat of your mindset. It starts with “Who are you willing to be in order to create extraordinary results from this day/meeting/presentation?” Then you choose three positive states of being that you want to embody so you can be your best. You can get the full process for free on my website www.richawakenings.com/gift. It literally takes thirty seconds to do this and you will soon notice a shift in your thinking away from unworthiness to confidence because you are literally creating new mental thought patterns.
4. Ask — Mindset work is powerful! And unless you are trained in transformation processes it can be daunting when your limiting beliefs seem to have the upper hand. So I always recommend asking for support! World-class leaders know that asking for help is the best thing to do to grow in any area of life and business. Working with a transformation coach has always been my secret sauce and perhaps that is why I became one myself!
5. Ascend — Give yourself permission to soar. It sounds really simple but without giving yourself permission to fly you will stay on the ground no matter how much you do to improve. You can give yourself the green light even if you don’t know how or what the next best step is to take. Trust yourself and know that everything you need to ascend is truly available to you right now. Be courageous.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I see so many people suffering and at the effect of limiting beliefs. They stop short of heeding the call in their hearts to make a positive impact in their world because some old mental habit tells them they are unworthy, unprepared or inadequate. I would love to see a movement where kids are taught about the power they have to use their words and thoughts to create a mindset that will support them in reaching any goals, aspirations or dreams they have. Imagine what the world would be like if kids learned these tools at 10 instead of 40 years old?
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
Lin-Manuel Miranda hands down! This man is so talented, so inspiring and seems so humble! His music, words and work ethic are a fantastic template for me. He believes in his message and knows he has something inside of him that is meant to be shared with the world and nothing stops him from doing just that. There’s a quick line in his groundbreaking Broadway musical, “In The Heights”: “No pare sigue, sigue!” It roughly translates to, “Don’t stop! Keep going, keep going!”
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Readers can connect with me at:
Website — https://www.richawakenings.com/gift
Facebook — HTTP://www.Facebook.com/RichAwakenings
LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/richoceguera
Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/richawakeningsmedia/
YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqbqbMw6Cu6lP-3fGF8ZJKw/videos
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!
Thank you for the opportunity! I hope what I shared helps someone out there who is struggling with Imposter Syndrome.
Rich Oceguera of Rich Awakenings Media: How To Thrive Despite Experiencing Impostor Syndrome was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.