Women In Wellness: Annemiek van Helsdingen on the Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing
Ask ‘And what would you like to have happen?’ You probably know that ‘assume makes an ass out of u and me’. But most people have no idea how quickly we assume things. So when someone talks about their experience of a situation, ask ‘and what would you like to have happen?’ before you start answering, helping or giving advice. Ask it even if you think you know or should know the answer. This is a very empowering practice for both of you.
As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Annemiek van Helsdingen, the Founder and CEO of the Academy for Soul-based Coaching. Annemiek brings 20+ years of corporate change facilitation and executive coaching, 15 yrs of teaching coaches, and her priestess background to offer coach training that is 100% aligned with the Sacred Feminine ~ deeply powerful and magical. This magic is rooted in rigorous methodologies that result in practical real-life results. Soul-based Coach training has been happening live online for over 5 years. Annemiek is also happily married, mom of an amazing 9-yr old and lover of strawberries, and much more.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I started as an eager MBA graduate and it took me just four years to work myself into a proper burn-out. With all that I learned from that, I decided to go out on my own and ran a successful corporate change agency with two partners. We were breaking the mold of how to help organisations achieve sustainable change. Change that actually lasts and isn’t dependent on outside consultants to come in and make it happen. It was work I loved doing and I felt like the proverbial fish in the water.
But after I’d birthed my daughter, my immune system went into a tail-spin and I was forced to leave all that I had built behind. I struggled to make it up the stairs and had severe brain fog (and learned that that was an actual technical term). But I was far too driven to just sit at home and watch the world go by, even with very little energy.
This is when I learned that the only way I could do something and not end up back in bed, was to listen very closely to my soul’s nudges. This wasn’t easy, because my mind works fast and sees so many opportunities. I had to learn to pace myself in a completely different way. Reorient my compass.
But through that, I found what I am here to do. I was called to bring together my 20+ years experience of corporate change work and executive coaching with 20+ years of my own spiritual development. And eventually that led to the birth of Soul-based Coaching, and being a pioneer in online live teaching (going strong after 5 years of experience!). And now my work rippled out to 1000+ students and coaching clients, in over 20 countries worldwide.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
It’s probably how I waited for three years, after starting the Academy for Soul-based Coaching, before telling my network on LinkedIn what I was up to. I just ignored that option — because I was scared to come out of the ‘woo’ closet. These fears went far beyond my personal situation, it was a reflection of the patterns that we are born into. ‘Woo’ is not professional. ‘They won’t take me seriously’.
The funny part was that me ‘coming out’ was irrelevant for a large part of my former corporate network — as it would be. And that I received so many emails from others to congratulate me, share their stories and tell me they were not surprised at all!
The biggest takeaway for me was that spirituality is becoming mainstream fast now, and that the people you are meant to serve are the ones that get to determine the worth of your offerings. There is no need to hide!
Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Waiting for outside confirmation. Even though I was birthing a new paradigm coaching methodology, I kept pausing to check in with former mentors, teachers and other executive coaches who firmly stood in the old paradigm. It took me a while to realize I was waiting for something that was inherently not going to happen.
Breaking the mold here, by myself, meant that I had to learn to trust my inner knowing and inner compass to a whole new degree. It was a lesson that was worth learning and continues to inspire me to this day.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
There are so many! Mentors, teachers and friends… But if I have to choose one, it’s my husband. The way he always stood by me and believed in me has made all the difference. He was there when things looked dire health-wise, he has sacrificed so many hours giving tech support, and always is completely there for our daughter when I need to fully focus on something for work. He truly is my rock and partner in crime.
Ok perfect. Now let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
We live in societies where there is very little invitation left to connect with and live from your Soul knowing.
There is a prevalence of the logical mind as the one who is in control and responsible to make things happen. For example, our educational systems are set up in this way. And there are very strong dogmas, where outside authority tells us what is right and wrong, and how to live.
And this goes contrary to human nature. Each and every one of us has been given their own connection with deep wisdom. With the pulse of life. This is where there is literally a treasure trove of wisdom, insight and potential waiting for you.
And all you need to do is reconnect to your soul knowing, and know how to navigate that space. And this is what we teach our coaches, and help our clients do.
So that we can live happier, more fulfilled lives. So that we can reclaim our full power. And so that we can stop trying to use the old paradigms to answer our current questions. And instead dive into our greatest potential and allow new answers to come through.
And that’s both for the personal (How can I offer my gifts in the world, Where do I find my next job, How can I attract the partner I long for) and for the big questions of our time (like division, extraction culture, ecological destruction, climate change, the system of white supremacy).
Because our souls have a road map for us. And that is so incredibly exciting and promising!!
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.
A walk in the forest as often as possible is fantastic soul medicine. The Japanese call is ‘forest bathing’ and this is where I get my absolute best soul-inspired ideas.
Make sure you get enough sleep. The world looks completely different when you do. I really wish I’d known this as a teenager with depression.
Hold space for yourself. Practice bringing attention to what you are experiencing — but without getting lost in your thoughts about that experience. Just 3 minutes of feeling your breath and noticing the sensations in your body are a great place to start. Holding Space for yourself is the foundation for a soulful, nourishing and impactful life. If you like, you can download a meditation that guides you to do that.
Learn to listen. Really listen. Most people listen only to the degree that they need input to be able to think of their response. Give other people time to express their thoughts. Notice how their words affect you. Then pause and respond.
Ask ‘And what would you like to have happen?’ You probably know that ‘assume makes an ass out of u and me’. But most people have no idea how quickly we assume things. So when someone talks about their experience of a situation, ask ‘and what would you like to have happen?’ before you start answering, helping or giving advice. Ask it even if you think you know or should know the answer. This is a very empowering practice for both of you.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
First of all — I am teaching as many people as possible to facilitate soul-based change. It’s powerful and practical to use in coaching, but also in all your relationships and where you work and communicate with people.
And I would teach all school kids to hold space for each other and themselves. That would change the world radically.
They would learn to be with their human experience in the moment, fully seeing and feeling it and knowing that that moment is not ‘it’, that experience changes over time. Even as seconds, minutes go past. Learning to have compassion and empathy for themselves and others. Seeing how we are the same and unique. Learning to stop ‘othering’ by seeing everyone as human.
The simple practice of holding space is at the foundation of our work in Soul-based coaching, and just 6 minutes makes a world of difference. It leaves you seen, acknowledged, loved, more in connection with yourself, more accepting, and often actually changed because you unhooked from your familiar thinking loops so that something more beneficial could start to happen within you.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
Take plenty of rest: I’m an achiever, I love working hard for the things I believe in, and seeing them come to fruition. So I can forget to factor in enough play time and rest. I’ve come to learn that it is essential to keep showing up for my vision and calling, but it took more than just a burn-out to get there!
Time is your friend: I can easily see what is possible in business, and that’s why I also tend to expect things to happen quickly. Now that I’m almost 50, I’m starting to see that divine timing isn’t just an excuse. There’s an art to co-creating with life, setting intentions and taking inspired action. Good things are already on their way.
You can literally infuse everything you do with love and appreciation: as an achiever, I was always focussed on getting things done, and spending a lot of time on figuring out the how-to’s. In the beginning, that meant that even though it was a soul-infused business, I could forget about that when I worked my to-do list. Things really started to shift when I learned to do every action with love and appreciation. Even the crappy things.
Money is a force of good: For more spiritually inclined people, there can be a lot of hang-ups around money and how money is used to serve self-interest and to support the destruction of our natural world and democracies. But money itself is just energy. Powerful energy. By refusing to learn to yield its power, you lose the opportunity to be a force of good in the world.
You are needed: Each and every one of us brings a unique package of skill and talents. And we need you exactly as you are. There are no mistakes. And all it takes to play your part is to show up as you are.
Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
Sustainability for sure, because it covers all of them. If we are to build a healthier society and world, we need to become aware of the way our actions impact others, impact the environment and impact our own health.
Something I’m passionate about is minimising the amount of ‘stuff’ we buy. When I buy something, I’ll ask myself: how long will I enjoy it? When it’s a gift: ‘am I sure this won’t end up in a landfill?’.
And I love the conscious practice of appreciating where things come from, how they were made, who made them, as part of the buying process. If you do buy an item, it becomes so much more meaningful when you know that it was made in a sustainable way, that the person making it was rewarded beautifully and that it has only travelled as far as is needed.
What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?
Join us in our free Community for Soul-based Coaching group on Facebook, and follow me on Instagram. I love hearing from you.
Women In Wellness: Annemiek van Helsdingen on the Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.