Women In Wellness: Kelley Wolf of FLOW-Finding Love Over Worry On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Be a good friend: Schedule this into your life. Reach out to people. Be the planner. Make effort. Remember a birthday. Send a text. We need connection more than ever and it doesn’t happen without your help.
As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kelley Wolf.
Kelley Wolf is a life and personal development coach. She is the author of FLOW-Finding Love Over Worry and is the host of the FLOW podcast. Kelley lives in Vancouver with her husband, actor Scott Wolf and their three kids.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
Just a girl from Arkansas…no…there is no “just” in my backstory or any woman’s story for that matter. I am a life and personal development coach with a background in Clinical Psychology. I did grow up in Arkansas, I went to high school in Cambridge, England and have since moved over 20 times. I am currently living in Vancouver, Canada where my husband is filming his television series. I recently wrote my first book to answer the biggest issue we seem to be facing, worry. We are as worried as we have ever been, and my life’s work is how to tackle worry so worry doesn’t tackle you.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
I don’t really have one lightening story from the past 12 years, but I have a collection of stories that come from the people I have met and worked with. I met my best friend in a Marie Calendar’s parking lot while waiting for a work meeting to begin. Her name is Libby Moore, and she wrote the forward for my book. The wild thing about that meeting is Libby was Chief of Staff to Oprah Winfrey for 11 years. Libby is so special and so important to me and the only reason we crossed paths was because we decided to be open and inclusive. The main takeaway I have is to leave the door open. Smile at people. Ask people to join your table. I have worked with hundreds of people in very intimate setting and the one overriding truth is we all want to fit in, to be included and to have a seat at the table. If you have a seat to offer, offer it.
Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Pacing. Pacing is the biggest mistake I made. When you start a career that you love, you think you have to work harder than everyone else. You can fall into a scarcity mentality. In my case, I worked so hard and said yes so often that I began to burn out after a couple of years. In my industry, we are the asset. As a coach, if I can’t get on the call, I don’t get paid. Over time, I learned how to work smarter, not harder. Writing my book, which took focus and time, was how I answered the question of time scarcity. If I cannot take the call or take the job, I can offer you my book. My book has all the tips and tricks I have learned and taught over the last 12 years.
Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
I believe we are more worried than we have ever been. The research supports this, and I didn’t even need the research to see how much fear people are experiencing. Clients, friends and family have all talked to me about the toll the last two years has taken on them. We have lived through a collective trauma and there is no map for how to navigate the world moving forward. As much as I hate to say this, I believe we are going to face more hardships. The world is changing, and we need tools to navigate so we don’t lose our way. My work is all about simple and easy tools that every human can use to avoid falling into a worry trap. Worry is a trap. It is a place we can stay for far too long and often we do not realize we have been lost in worry. Worry is invasive and corrosive to our happiness. FLOW -Finding Love Over Worry is the technique I created to offer an alternative to fear and worry. It is a recipe for joyful living, and it works.
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.
1. Observe: Sounds simple but man do we resist this. Start the practice of observing your thoughts. Are your thoughts riddled with worry, judgment and fear? They are thoughts. You can challenge your thoughts.
2. Move: Moving your body is more important than ever. I have a disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and I live in chronic pain. I am the first person to understand how hard it is to move. I do not move for vanity; I move for sanity. Movement is the fastest way to release dopamine and get your mind back to a place of joy.
3. Munch: This seems obvious, but you would be amazed at how many people will call me in distress and I ask if they have eaten and they say, “Yes, a banana and a coffee!” and it is 5pm! We need nourishment. We need good food to fuel our body. Again, this isn’t vanity, this is sanity.
4. Meditation: Not your momma’s mediation! My meditation offerings take into account the way we live today. My suggestion is to simply say the tasks you are doing while you are doing them. For instance, “Wash the hair” while you are washing your hair or to observe things while you move through the day, a pen, a book, a table. The reason this works is it gives your mind a clean slate to not go into future tripping or nostalgia.
5. Be a good friend: Schedule this into your life. Reach out to people. Be the planner. Make effort. Remember a birthday. Send a text. We need connection more than ever and it doesn’t happen without your help.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I would require schools to do meditation in the morning and at the end of the day. Learning how to master your mind may be the most crucial gift on earth. If you can get a handle on the clutter that swirls through your mind, you can handle hardships much better. We are all suffering in different ways, but I believe the children are getting the brunt of the world’s chaos. They are looking to us for tools and I believe meditation is a tool that is free, easy and can happen for anyone at any time.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
- Go slow: When we slow down, we can see more of the process. When we slow down, problems seem manageable. Slowness is mastery, not stupidity.
- Find a Mentor: I stumbled a lot through my early career, and I would have benefited immensely from a mentor. Most of my colleagues are happy to mentor someone who is eager and willing to do the work. Just ask.
- You may change your mind: You may want to pivot and shift in your career. This is not a sign of failure; it is a sign of growth. It is okay to shift, especially when something is not working for you.
- Pay yourself first: We have all heard this before and boy is it true. Understanding finances is crucial, especially for women in my field. We do not take business classes in the helping fields and that is to our detriment. Take a basic finance class and ask for help.
- You deserve to be here: I am sure I am not alone in suffering through imposter syndrome. Please remember that you belong at the table. Be assertive. Be bold. Be willing to get it wrong. Take your place and do not apologize.
Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
Gosh, all of them. I would have said the environment because let’s face it, if the planet dies, so do we. However, at this moment, I will say mental health, especially children and teens. I have encountered shocking rises in suicide attempts and my own children have been suffering mental health issues through the last two years. I believe we need to put an enormous amount of focus on the younger generations so they can have the strength to show up for the planet.
What is the best way our readers can follow you online?
I am most active on Instagram @kelleywolf
My website is www.flowbykelleywolf.com
You can email me at kelley@flowbykelleywolf
My Book is available on Amazon- FLOW-Finding Love Over Worry- A recipe for Living Joyfully
Thank you for these fantastic insights!
Women In Wellness: Kelley Wolf of FLOW-Finding Love Over Worry On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.