Women In Wellness: Manisha Tare On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Learn to set boundaries. This comes with experience and it’s a crucial skill. Having a hard time setting boundaries and giving people open access to your time and energy will 100% drain you. Find a trusted friend or professional to work this one through with because this will benefit your energy, health and well-being.
As a part of my series about the women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Manisha Tare.
Manisha Tare is a somatic healing practitioner and mentor for women looking to transform their relationships from one-sided and draining to supportive and thriving. She earned a B.S. in Occupational Therapy from New York University and holds a Master’s in Public Health from Columbia University. After many years of working as a pediatric occupational therapist, Manisha pursued advanced training in trauma informed, holistic modalities such as craniosacral therapy and somato-emotional release with the Upledger Institute and expanded her practice to work with adults. She taught public yoga classes in Washington DC for nearly nine years and since 2011, has supported over a hundred individuals to heal from experiences of early trauma and improve their health and relationships. A lifelong learner, most recently, she received a Somatic.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I’d love to. I was drawn to well being and seeking out a sense of calm from an early age. I recall, as a teenager, I got a book on yoga and remember working through the poses on my own. Though my family is Indian, it’s not something I grew up doing or was taught in any formal way. In college and graduate school, I dove further into practicing yoga and meditation and a few years later, I signed up for my first yoga teacher training. These practices were the start of helping me feel more connected to myself and ‘in’ my body. I lived in NYC, which I loved, but it’s a frenetic place. I didn’t realize at the time how my nervous system was being impacted by my environment, and I can see now that I was intuitively drawn to a practice that would help me counteract the stress. I knew I wanted to help people receive the benefits of this practice.
Several years later, when I was living in Washington DC, a shoulder injury further opened me up to the world of holistic healing, and I studied a modality called craniosacral therapy, a subtle form of bodywork that focuses on the nervous system. I began to explore healing on an emotional and energetic level. Putting some of these pieces together helped me to understand how my early life experiences were showing up in my current life in a way I hadn’t realized before. It solidified the connection between mind, body and spirit for me. As I continued to explore, I learned more about relationship dynamics, attachment theory and now work to support clients to heal the impacts of early trauma through somatic practices so they can create happier, healthy relationships in the present.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
While this isn’t directly career related, it ended up having a huge impact on how I work and was definitely in service to my well-being. After living in NYC and then Washington DC for about nine years each, I moved to a small mountain town in southern Oregon because I desperately needed to reset from living in an urban environment for so many years.
I knew I had a sensitive nervous system, but what I didn’t realize was the level of impact living in very busy cities for so many years had on my body. I was practicing and teaching yoga, meditating, had a pretty healthy lifestyle, and getting acupuncture fairly consistently but I felt tired and drained much of the time. It wasn’t adding up. I was running a private practice and running around DC teaching yoga at various studios, which isn’t always easy so I assumed that’s the way it was. Everyone was tired, weren’t they? After experiencing a second shoulder injury, I knew my body was trying to tell me that something bigger in my life had to change.
The move across the country probably seemed pretty extreme from the outside and looking back, I’m amazed and grateful to have had family and friends support me even though I’m certain most of them were wondering what on earth I was doing. While there were challenges along the way, it’s one of the best things I could have done for my overall mental and physical health. Living in the midst of nature was what I needed to allow my nervous system to unravel years of tension that I simply could not access living in a city. I also met the most amazing people that honestly felt like a soul family and I remain connected with many of them. I recognize it’s a massive privilege to have been able to do something like that and be supported throughout.
I do believe it’s one of the reasons I can support clients through major transitions and healing experiences of grief and trauma. Being in a different environment where I could focus on my own personal healing allowed me to create the internal capacity to hold space for others moving through challenging times.
The main takeaway, I would say, is follow your instincts when you have a strong pull towards something, even if it doesn’t make sense from the outside. It doesn’t mean it will necessarily be a smooth ride, but it’s meant to be a part of your journey. The purpose often becomes more clear when you’re on the other side.
Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Being a goal oriented person, as many of us are, I kept thinking something was wrong when I was being pulled towards a new modality or wanted to travel somewhere to do yet another training. I wondered if I was being flakey or having a hard time committing to something. Other people could choose one thing and stick to it. Why couldn’t I? What I have come to learn is that following those instincts and taking the more winding path is what allows me to blend so many schools of thought and offer an integrated and grounded perspective to my work.
Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
When I talk to people about somatic healing or the idea of working with their bodies to heal trauma, I get a lot of questions. While mind-body practices certainly are more mainstream, I feel like there is a missing link between emotional stress and its impact on our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. When someone is in physical pain, they tend to focus on solutions that involve the physical body — doctors, medication, physical therapy, and even surgery. While I’m all for physical and medical intervention when it’s needed, as I’ve benefited from it myself, I wish that we could investigate root causes of issues more holistically.
When I have worked with individual clients or students in groups, I’ve taken the opportunity to help them experience this connection in their own lives. Beyond understanding this conceptually, intentionally creating a safe environment in sessions or classes allows them to acknowledge the deeper underlying emotions they may have been pushing away just to get through the days to survive.
For some people, they wonder what the point is of revisiting their difficult experiences and don’t want to rehash them again, which I can understand. What they don’t realize is that when you work with your body and somatic practices, you don’t focus on talking about your issues and get stuck in the stories. You’re giving yourself space to acknowledge difficult times or traumatic experiences and slowly release the tension in your body that’s related to this issue. I have seen, time and time again, that whatever is not acknowledged in our bodies will fester if we don’t attend to it.
As an example, when I was working with a client online to help her process a current stressful experience, memories of a car accident that occured ten years prior came up. As I invited her to tune into her body to acknowledge and unravel the fear from the impact of the collision, she felt a shift in her body. She reported back to me a day later that this constant, dull pain in her neck and shoulders that she experienced for a long time was no longer there. I can not tell you how many times I have heard similar stories.
Unfortunately, I learned that lesson the hard way through my shoulder injuries. Had I paid attention to the earlier signs and listened to my body more, I believe my injuries would not have gotten as bad as they did. I could have avoided a lot of pain and saved a lot of time, energy and money.
The ripple effect of acknowledging and working through your emotional pain is far and wide. Can you imagine a society that was more in touch with their actual feelings and able to process them versus the reactivity we see these days?
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.
- Start your mornings with quiet time. While I understand this may not be easy depending on your life or family situation, I can’t emphasize enough how even a few minutes of quiet time in the morning has the power to shift your day and overtime, the trajectory of your life. We’re so quick to expose our sleepy, impressionable minds to our newsfeed or email and immediately get on board with someone else’s agenda. Your energy, time and attention are precious commodities. Taking a few minutes every morning to connect with your body and mind and set intentions helps you stay focused on what’s important to you and strengthens your self-trust.
- Spend time in nature. Being in nature is incredibly healing. It helps us slow down, check in with our breathing and heart rate, notice the air on our skin and sun on our faces. Simply tuning into the sounds, smells and sights in your environment has the power to decrease your blood pressure, help you calm your nervous system and bring you a sense of peace. It’s the ultimate way to bring you back to the present moment
- Move daily. This could look like anything you want it to. A walk in your neighborhood, dancing in your living room, an online pilates class, a run in the park, or going to a yoga studio. Figure out what works for your body and your mind. Movement is especially helpful to shift your energy when you’re stuck in overthinking or self-doubt. Aside from being great for your physical health, having a movement practice that helps you process your thoughts and emotions is a gamechanger for your mental health.
- Take time to get to know yourself and your needs. I can not express how much this will change your life. So often, we unconsciously expect others to know what we need. People are not mind readers and the expectations we put on others without realizing it can hurt our relationships over time. Simultaneously, if you relate to wanting to make sure everyone is ok and happy, you probably spend a lot of time focused on other people’s needs without knowing what makes you happy or brings you joy. Taking time on your own to get to know yourself, what you need to feel grounded, strong and in a flexible state of mind is so helpful to your wellness. Once you know what those things are, you can make sure you schedule them in (and learn to ask for support when needed) so you know that each day, you’re taking steps towards caring for your body, mind and spirit. I guarantee this will completely shift how you look at the world and you will be of even greater service to others.
- Create intentional community. This is a big one. Well-being does not solely rest on the individual. Though we are a pretty individualistic society in the west, I think we’re learning more and more how a well community contributes to our collective well-being. Notice how you can do this in your own smaller community or circle of trusted friends. How do you feel in your current community? Do you feel supported and uplifted or drained or like you have to be on guard? Sometimes, we end up in relationships with people simply because they are physically close by and don’t think much of it. While having neighbors or colleagues that you feel a true friendship with is a gift, check in to make sure it’s not your default. Is there an interest you can gather around like a book club or running group? Is there a local exercise class where you can meet like-minded people? Noticing how you feel around people (energized versus drained) and being intentional about building relationships that lift you up is so important to our sense of belonging and well-being.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
This is a tough one because there are a few things I believe would massively move the needle on wellness like movement and nutrition but given my area of expertise, I would say creating a culture where reflection and contemplation are prioritized. I find that most people are consumed by what is going on externally, whether it’s excessive time on social media or getting over-involved with those around them. I’m not talking about spending time with people you care about and being in community… that’s a massive plus for our well-being. What I mean is depending too much on the outside (people, circumstances and things) to make you happy.
With so much tech available at our fingertips, people have a harder time with silence. There is always a distraction available. It’s negatively affected our attention and ability to listen to each other and even ourselves. How often do you see a couple or even a family together and each person is on their device? It’s really striking. It’s like we’ve forgotten how to be with ourselves and each other in a relaxed way and cope with being a little bored.
Creating a culture and personal practices where you give yourself even 5 minutes of quiet time (hopefully you can build this up), allows you to connect to yourself. You understand better how you think, your state of mind, what’s going on for you emotionally and what you need. You feel more comfortable with yourself without constantly grasping for attention from the outside, which ironically, strengthens your relationships.
Society is moving faster and there is an expectation to always be available. While each of us can do our best to create some open, quiet space in our days, there also needs to be a culture shift for this to happen more broadly.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
- Learn to set boundaries. This comes with experience and it’s a crucial skill. Having a hard time setting boundaries and giving people open access to your time and energy will 100% drain you. Find a trusted friend or professional to work this one through with because this will benefit your energy, health and well-being.
- Keep following your instincts. They are leading you somewhere amazing. Our minds always want to know what’s next and a sense of control can offer security; however too much control can stifle you. When you follow those nudges, you’ll discover new and unexpected things, which are often better than we can imagine.
- You don’t have to do it alone. I used to think I had to figure it all out by myself and something was wrong with me if I needed help. It’s ok to ask for support and even hire the right professional support for all aspects of your life. You’ll get to where you want to go much faster than trying to do it all alone. The journey will also be much more fun.
- Not everyone will understand your choices and that’s ok. It’s hard when people around you don’t necessarily understand your choices. Most (not all) people are coming from a place of love and concern when they are questioning you, but if you truly believe what you’re doing is the right thing, then get comfortable with being ok that not everyone will be on board.
- Not every opportunity is worth your time. When you’re starting out, it’s difficult to know what is worth your time and energy because you’re learning. Trust that you will get better at discerning the difference with experience.
Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
If it’s not obvious already, I would say mental health though I feel so much of these are related. We are at a crisis point in society. People feel disconnected from themselves, each other and the earth. This loss of a sense of belonging impacts us on a deep level. As humans, belonging is crucial to our sense of well-being and security. There is a relationship between our individual wellness and collective well-being and ideally, as a society, we can address mental health and wellness from both angles.
What is the best way for our readers to further follow your work online?
Thanks for asking! I’d love to invite your readers to check out my podcast, The Transform Your Relationship Podcast where my guests and I share personal insights and client success stories related to our unique modalities and approaches to healing.
Thank you for these fantastic insights! We wish you continued success and good health.
Women In Wellness: Manisha Tare On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.