Women In Wellness: Elizabeth Miller of Happy Healthy Caregiver On The Five Lifestyle Tweaks That Will Help Support People’s Journey Towards Better Wellbeing
An Interview With Candice Georgiadis
Treat Yourself — Whether you choose to go solo or invite your loved one to accompany you, scheduling time for something a little luxurious can spark some joy. Enjoy a pedicure or a massage. Make reservations to try a new restaurant with friends.
As a part of my series about women in wellness, I had the pleasure of interviewing Elizabeth Miller.
Elizabeth Miller is the founder of Happy Healthy Caregiver, a top 10 caregiving blog and podcast. She became a full-time entrepreneur in the spring of 2021 to focus on her passion — helping family caregivers infuse self-care and caregiving into their lives. She believes you can be an amazing family caregiver and have a happy and healthy life.
Elizabeth is a Certified Caregiving Consultant who helps family caregivers through her speaking, consulting, writing, and online community, She has presented at 2016 -2019 National Caregiving Conferences. Her story has also been featured in Woman’s Day and the Marietta Daily Journal. She is the host of the Happy Healthy Caregiver podcast on the Whole Care Network, author of Just for You: A Daily Self-Care Journal and facilitates a support group for family caregivers called the NW Atlanta Daughterhood Circle (featured in Washington Post).
For years, Elizabeth’s juggled her corporate career while raising two active children and caring for family members with chronic and terminal illnesses. She also has an adult brother with a developmental disability. She searched for a community of people that could provide resources and support. When she didn’t find one, she created one. Happy Healthy Caregiver was founded in 2015.
Elizabeth obtained a B.A. in Journalism from Penn State University.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you share your “backstory” with us?
I’m a small-town girl at heart. I spent my childhood in Western Pennsylvania primarily playing at the public park and with my neighborhood buddies. My town had one blinking traffic light, and my little sister and I would be out and about all day long until my mom rang the dinner bell.
In a family of six kids, I am the middle daughter. There are three boys and three girls. Family has always been important to me. My dad used to tell us, ‘no one will love you like your family.’ One of my three older brothers was born with a developmental disability. Family caregiving has always been a part of my life.
When I was 13, my dad accepted a job in Atlanta, Georgia. Like I would later feel during my caregiving season, I felt like a fish out of water. I wore the wrong clothes and struggled to find my group of friends. It took me a few years to feel like I belonged. Growing up in a Penn State family, I returned to the north to fulfill that dream. I obtained my B.A. in Broadcast Journalism. After college, before landing my first job, I backpacked for nine weeks in Europe with two girlfriends. A fantastic experience that ignited my obsession with travel and trying new things.
I married my high school prom date, Jason, and we’ve been married 26 years. We dated on and off throughout college and then steadily after graduation. Our most challenging years have been the years we were in the ‘sandwich generation’ — raising our two adolescent children while working full-time and caring for our aging parents.
Today, I am a caregiver advocate, speaker, author, podcast host, and Certified Caregiving Consultant. Having firsthand experience caring for aging parents with chronic/terminal illnesses and for a sibling with developmental disabilities, I understood how much was involved in caregiving and how vital — but lacking — are places for caregivers to turn to for support and information. In response, in 2015, I was inspired to create Happy Healthy Caregiver. The website, podcast, and community offer, via intel and shared discussion, how best to manage family and work responsibilities while juggling caring for a family member in need.
Now that my son and daughter are out of the house, I am an empty nester enjoying time with my husband and our two dogs — Shadow and Sunny. I have continued to expand my Happy Healthy Caregiver business in ways I hope will reach more people with my caregiving solutions and guidance. For example, my partnership with Depend®, which focuses on important products and needs information all the while sharing resources and ways to cope.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? What were the main lessons or takeaways from that story?
I knew Happy Healthy Caregiver could be a viable business, but I struggled with figuring out the monetization strategy. I threw a lot of spaghetti at the wall to see what would stick! I naively thought I could create a website and write an impactful eBook called The Savvy Sandwicher’s Survival Guide, and the pieces would fall into place so I could quit my day job. Entrepreneurship is challenging and not for everyone. I’d be lying if I didn’t think several times a month of throwing in the towel and just concentrating on my day job. I knew I’d have regrets if I quit, so I kept showing up and doing one little thing in my business daily to move it forward.
Surprisingly, the way I started to become successful was not how I ever intended. Through my Happy Healthy Caregiver community and content channels, I became an ‘accidental influencer’ for family caregivers. I have the Depend brand to thank for this realization. A few years back, they reached out to me to do a campaign for National Caregivers Day in February. I wrote a sponsored post for them, including a Caregiver Toolkit giveaway.
Can you share a story about the biggest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
My biggest mistake in both business and caregiving are the same. I craved control and thought I could obtain it. What ended up bringing about the most peace in caregiving and my Happy Healthy Caregiver business was letting go and going with the flow. Often when I did, things tended to work out better or be less frustrating.
I also realized that I had control over my health and happiness. I get to choose where I focus my energy and passion, and instead of worrying about what may happen, I take action to mitigate the worry. Much of what I do in life and business is trial and error. I enjoy trying new things. I evaluate what works and has benefits and keep those. Likewise, I discard or learn to ignore what doesn’t work. We are all a work in progress, so this is something I’m continually improving upon.
Let’s jump to our main focus. When it comes to health and wellness, how is the work you are doing helping to make a bigger impact in the world?
As the owner & founder of Happy Healthy Caregiver resource site and podcast for the caregiver community, I want to share essential tips for caregivers as they take on the responsibility of caring for someone else.
Finding caregiver resources, support, and advice is crucial for anyone in a caregiving position. You’re constantly prioritizing those around you, and it’s easy to get so caught up in everything that needs to be tended to that you inadvertently neglect yourself.
By sharing these tips this showcases that although this is a task you might not have anticipated, taking on this role doesn’t mean you have to be alone.
Can you share your top five “lifestyle tweaks” that you believe will help support people’s journey towards better wellbeing? Please give an example or story for each.
As we take care of those we love, the natural inclination is to want to do it all and maintain their quality of life. The problem is you may have heaped these new responsibilities onto a plate that is already overwhelmed with other parental, work, and life obligations. Plus, your own personal needs and dreams need attention.
Support and Respite is Key — and Essential
Even in the best circumstances, being a caregiver is stressful and isolating. Taking time to connect with family and friends regularly by phone or in person may not seem necessary, but it maintains normality and creates the outside interaction needed. We all need social self-care.
Even if you have a strong network of people you can lean on, it’s not always easy to share what you’re feeling or for them to truly understand what you’re going through as you navigate your caregiving role. For this reason, support groups for caregivers are so beneficial.
The key is to seek and test out a support group before you really need it. You want this structure to be in place, so you have a group to turn to when life feels overwhelming or takes you down an unfamiliar road. Caregiving is always evolving and having a supportive non-judgmental group in arms reach provides emotional relief.
There are also virtual support groups, like the Happy Healthy Caregiver Virtual Café. Depend® also has an online support group on Facebook, The Incontinence Community that gives current caregivers the support that they need. This group is also a safe, positive community for people living with incontinence to access advice and resources and to share personal experiences. If group conversation is not your thing, one-on-one caregiver coaching is also an option. You can find more information about this on Happy Healthy Caregiver.
Prioritize Physical Activity
Caregiving can be fulfilling and it’s also emotionally and physically exhausting. Signs of caregiver burnout include sleeping problems, feeling overwhelmed, anxiety, sadness, irritability, and fluctuations in weight. One of the best ways to help manage stress while boosting your mental outlook and supporting your own physical health is regular exercise.
You won’t find the time for physical activity; you’ll have to create it. Scheduling time for activity is an important way to care for your body and mind. Respect this time for you just as you would a health appointment for your care partner. Research from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America shows that just five minutes of aerobic exercise can reduce anxiety.1
Selecting The Right Products
There are many products to make caregiving life easier; resources can be found on websites for older adults, shopping sites like Amazon which have a specific section for caregivers, or Carewell which is an online shop specifically created for family caregivers. To address the need for incontinence care, one of the most difficult aspects of caregiving, I suggest to my clients the products and information they can find on the Depend website.
Treat Yourself
Whether you choose to go solo or invite your loved one to accompany you, scheduling time for something a little luxurious can spark some joy. Enjoy a pedicure or a massage. Make reservations to try a new restaurant with friends.
With your care team in place (friends, family, and professional caregivers) you have the capacity to take regular breaks so you can recharge.
If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of wellness to the most amount of people, what would that be?
If I could wave a magic wand and change something in our society that I believe would be impactful, it would be to intentionally introduce support and resources to family caregivers by meeting them where they are. When I accompanied my mom to her medical appointments or was note-taking during my parents’ many hospital stays, it had to be evident to health professionals that I was the primary family caregiver. I was physically showing up, asking questions, and advocating for their care. What I received was criticism about ways I could improve their care. Health professionals gave me information about implementing wound care and better managing their diabetes. I never heard that I was fulfilling the role of family caregiver, affirmed that I was doing a good job, or given resources to help me better navigate this caregiving season. Let’s change this. Instead, I would respect health professionals who check in regularly with the family caregiver. These conversations would be impactful opportunities to see how the family caregiver’s health and wellness have changed and offer them practical resources.
Our employers can also take an active role in supporting family caregivers. According to a report by AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving. Caregiving in the United States 2020, 61% of family caregivers work. Since the start of the COVID pandemic, I have seen positive changes. More employers are creating caregiving affinity or employee resource groups and inviting experts like me to come in and share helpful strategies and resources. Additional benefits for family caregivers are needed, such as paid leave, referral services, education, and subsidies for care-related services.
What are your “5 Things I Wish Someone Told Me Before I Started” and why?
Self-care isn’t just physical self-care.
So much of my early content on Happy Healthy Caregiver focuses on physical forms of self-care, especially healthy eating, and exercise. Now my content is more well-rounded regarding teaching caregivers ways to infuse self-care into their daily lives. There are seven other self-care categories I recognize, including emotional, professional, spiritual, social, financial, intellectual, and practical.
Entrepreneurship is demanding and rewarding.
I believe these two things can be true at the same time. Entrepreneurship takes extreme discipline. I have accepted that my to-do list will never be complete. Whenever I’m struggling, I return to my ‘nice things’ email folder and read the sweet messages I received from caregivers about how something I had shared or introduced them positively impacted their lives. This feedback propels and motivates me to keep going.
Caregiving will change your life in positive ways.
The sandwich generation caregiving years have been my most brutal consecutive years, yet I wouldn’t erase them. Caregiving brought my family closer together. I gained transferrable life skills such as compassion, resilience, patience, and stress management.
People can’t read your mind. Ask for the specific help you need.
This applies to caregiving and business. I’m learning to name my emotions and have ‘courageous conversations’ with people about what I specifically need. I coach caregivers to make a list of the ways others can help them.
Pitch your ideas to the people who can pay to implement them.
When I first started monetizing my business, my products targeted individual family caregivers. I found out quickly that this wasn’t a scalable model and that charging family caregivers to pay out of their pockets was uncomfortable for me. Pitching ideas to organizations and companies with large budgets and means to help family caregivers is now where I focus my attention. Not only does this bring in income, but the resources and support scale broader and positively impact families.
Sustainability, veganism, mental health and environmental changes are big topics at the moment. Which one of these causes is dearest to you, and why?
Mental health is essential to me. My family has a history of clinical depression and anxiety. I manage my general anxiety with medication, mindfulness, self-compassion, exercise, and time in nature.
What is the best way our readers can follow you online?
You can subscribe to my podcast Happy Healthy Caregiver and on social media I am @happyhealthycaregiver.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!
References:
AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving. Caregiving in the United States 2020. Washington, DC: AARP. May 2020 https://doi.org/10.26419/ppi.00103.001
https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/managing-anxiety/exercise-stress-and-anxiety
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